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Robotics Microsoft

Microsoft Rolls Out Robot Security Guards 140

Posted by Soulskill from the please-register-that-copy-of-windows.-you-have-20-seconds-to-comply dept.
An anonymous reader writes: Microsoft is testing a group of five robot security guards. They contain a sophisticated sensor suite that includes 360-degree HD video, thermal imaging, night vision, LIDAR, and audio recorders. They can also detect various chemicals and radiation signatures, and do some rudimentary behavioral analysis on people they see. (And they look a bit like Daleks.) The robots are unarmed, so we don't have to worry about a revolt just yet, but they can sound an alarm and call for human officers. They weigh about 300 lbs each, can last roughly a day on a battery charge, and know to head to the charging station when they're low on power.
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Microsoft Rolls Out Robot Security Guards More

Microsoft Rolls Out Robot Security Guards

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  • Let me be the first to say... (Score:4, Funny)

    by Thanshin ( 1188877 ) on Friday November 21, 2014 @10:49AM (#48433495)

    EXTERMINATE

  • Of course (Score:3)

    by Doug Otto ( 2821601 ) on Friday November 21, 2014 @10:51AM (#48433503)
    I for one welcome our new dalek shaped robotic overlords.

    • Of course the reason the daleks were the shape they were, that bottom heavy props are less likely to fall over, is exactly why real world robots have the same design.

      • Re: (Score:1)

        by Anonymous Coward

        Well no, the daleks were the shape they were so that an operator sitting on a wheeled chair would fit inside them.

  • Alright, let's get the references out of the way (Score:3)

    by ArcadeMan ( 2766669 ) on Friday November 21, 2014 @10:55AM (#48433529)

    Microsoft is testing a group of five robot security guards.

    One of them will malfunction and start calling himself Johnny-Five.

    They contain a sophisticated sensor suite that includes 360-degree HD video, thermal imaging, night vision, LIDAR, and audio recorders.

    Terminator vision.

    They can also detect various chemicals and radiation signatures, and do some rudimentary behavioral analysis on people they see. (And they look a bit like Daleks.)

    As Thanshin said above, "EX-TER-MI-NATE!"

    The robots are unarmed, so we don't have to worry about a revolt just yet, but they can sound an alarm and call for human officers.

    Their security call goes something like this: "Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"

    They weigh about 300 lbs each, can last roughly a day on a battery charge, and know to head to the charging station when they're low on power.

    Oh, so they are over-weight Roomba. Gotcha.

  • add a bit of duct tape and a loud horn

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by Arkh89 ( 2870391 )

      When they are released on an intervention, they start flashing their Blue Screen of Death and Red Ring of Death...

  • Robot tipping! (Score:5, Interesting)

    by cyn1c77 ( 928549 ) on Friday November 21, 2014 @11:01AM (#48433593)

    So, if I push it over, can it get back up?

    Because that thing looks like it was made to be pushed over.

    • Surprise! That activates the Corbomite unit!

    • It does have the shape of those weeble-wobble inflatable punching bags we had as kids, doesn't it?

      Thank god for China or you couldn't even buy a Inflatable Disney Princess Punching Bag [tjskl.org.cn] any more!

    • However the problem is that it can presumably notify security that you've done that. Given that they'll have full video of it, and know where the unit was, the chances of you getting caught are pretty high.

      These aren't the kind of thing that would work well on their own out in the middle of nowhere but on a campus like MS's with human backup I imagine they are pretty effective. Rolling security cameras basically.

    • Push it over? It's just begging to be tossed into an EM shielded van, wait until the batteries run out, and display it in your living room.

      • Yeah... Given their cost, they're going to be completely impractical..

        City kids that are bored will have a replacement for cow tipping.. They'll go dress to be unidentifiable on video, and then probably do one of the following:

        EM van as stated above so they can have a souvenir
        Lob it into a lake (maybe making a few holes in it first)
        Attack it with a magnet strong enough to rearrange it's innards and then proclaim "Yeah Bitch! Magnets!" (check youtube if you don't recognize it)
        Spray paint over all it's sensor

        • > They'll go dress to be unidentifiable on video,

          Just carry a mirror in front of you until you are in spray paint range.

          For extra credit, hack the communications channel, and take over the bot.

        • And version 2.0 hides an extra (undocumented) backup battery that actives a cellular phone-home after a few weeks.

          If it is sending video home, it doesn't matter what you did to loop it, the can drive an FCC triangulation van over and be in front of your door in a few minutes.

          And, city kids don't have a place to set off land mines.

          If you want to keep these sorts of things from phoning home, you have to not only unplug everything obvious, you also have to soak them in salt water for a few weeks, months, or ye

    • And I know robot Karate! Alert: Micro-bot senses danger.

  • You have 20 seconds to comply...
    10 seconds to comply..
    5 seconds to comply...

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by Skater ( 41976 )
      -5 seconds to comply...
      -10 seconds to comply...
      (They're unarmed.)

      • Re: (Score:2)

        by praxis ( 19962 )

        10 seconds to comply...
        8 seconds to comply...
        9 seconds to comply...
        8 seconds to comply...
        4 seconds to comply...
        4 seconds to comply...
        6 seconds to comply...
        1 second to comply...

        (Their estimated time to completion was coded by Microsoft).

    • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward

      Knowing Microsoft, it's more like:

      You have 20 seconds to comply...
      You have 10 seconds to comply...
      You have 37 seconds to comply...
      You have 1597 seconds to comply...
      You have 2 seconds to comply...
      You have 734 seconds to comply...

  • That will probably soon be the name of the Microsoft canteen.

    (Got a 10 year old daughter who likes to watch Nickelodeon)

  • Help .. I've fallen over (Score:4, Informative)

    by OzPeter ( 195038 ) on Friday November 21, 2014 @11:02AM (#48433605)

    And I can't get up.

    From the Ars article: Coming soon: Slow, heavy, shrieking, autonomous robot rent-a-cops [arstechnica.com]

    Should anybody choose to attack the K5, as opposed to walking briskly away, the unit can react with a shrieking alarm that Stephens described as like "a car alarm but much more intense." That will probably happen shortly after the K5 falls to the ground, unable to right itself, which actually happened during Knightscope's MIT robot demo.

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by mlts ( 1038732 )

      Yes, these things are vulnerable to "cow tipping", but I can see these used to patrol some disused strip mall or other complex to keep the squatters at bay, where having a solution that one can just set up and forget would be quite handy. It also would discourage thieves because squatters or trespassers would have to deal with the robot and either book it or attack it (which now makes them felons for malicious mischief charges.) Shooting the robots then brings armed trespass charges.

      If I owned some empty

  • Cut off at the pass... (Score:3)

    by MiniMike ( 234881 ) on Friday November 21, 2014 @11:03AM (#48433609)

    I was set to make a comment about how they should paint them BSOD blue- but they actually already did! At least that's how it looked in the video.

    And then they make them look sorta like Daleks, and I can't really complain about that.

    At this point all I can hope for is that they forgot to teach them about escalators or splash fountains, and wait for the inevitable videos.

  • I bet I know what these robots will be dressed up like for Halloween! They're already the right shape.

  • The best part of the listed articles is the picture of the sheriff pointing a gun at the dalek with his finger on the trigger, while two employees stand directly on the other side of the robot!

    Awesome: 2nd article, go to last picture. [extremetech.com]

    Maybe this is a cunning advertisement by Knightscope to demonstrate why police need to be robotized.

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by OzPeter ( 195038 )

      The best part of the listed articles is the picture of the sheriff pointing a gun at the dalek with his finger on the trigger, while two employees stand directly on the other side of the robot!

      I'd love to be a fly on the wall when that Sheriff explains to his boss why he unholstered his weapon and handled it the way he did.

    • What I'm more concerned about is that first image in the article. Did they photoshop a plunger on it to make it look more like a Dalek? What kind of reporting is this?

  • ok... cue BSOD joke in 3... 2... 1...

  • UAS (Score:2)

    by xdor ( 1218206 )
    Excepting for continued stubborn and confused FAA, the next version will be airborne.
  • They weigh about 300 lbs each, . . . and know to head to the charging station when they're low on power.

    Are we sure they didn't just put people inside something that looks like a Dalek?

  • Dispensing Product (Score:3)

    by Translation Error ( 1176675 ) on Friday November 21, 2014 @11:17AM (#48433705)
    Daleks nothing, those look more like the turrets from Portal to me. Pleeeease let someone at Microsoft load the turret voices onto them.

    • Looks like a mix of the two, to be honest. I don't want to think about the mix of those two personalities though.

    • Re: (Score:1)

      by Higaran ( 835598 )
      I agree with the writer of the article, it looks like a modern R2D2. I just want it to follow me around and beep when I say stuff to it.

  • Doesn't look at all like a Dalek to me, it looks more like something that Aperture Science would design. (And it would say "No hard feelings" if you pushed it over, assuming you could push over this lumbering 300lb thing)

  • Inefficient (Score:3)

    by Graydyn Young ( 2835695 ) on Friday November 21, 2014 @11:19AM (#48433727)
    Article doesn't list a price, but it seems to me like it would be a heck of a lot cheaper to just install a bunch of HD cameras and microphones around the campus. You could still run the fancy behaviour analysis software on the feed, but you wouldn't need the big lidar driven robot.

  • Clippy Lives (Score:4, Funny)

    by gtall ( 79522 ) on Friday November 21, 2014 @11:27AM (#48433777)

    Clippy the Guard: Hi there, I see you are attempting to break and enter, how may I be of assistance?

    Burglar: (thinks "WTF") Errrmmm....have you got a key to this lock?

    Clippy: No problem, I can open it automatically. However, have you tried the door over there?

    Burglar: No, I want to break in through this door.

    Clippy: The door over there is very nice, are you sure?

    Burglar: Please open this door?

    Clippy: Would you like me sound the alarm first?

    Burglar: No, just open the damn door.

    Clippy: The alarm is very nice.

    Burglar: Will you pluuuueeessse open this door, you damn robot?

    Clippy: I don't like your attitude.

    Burglar: (pulls out gun, shoots self in head) BLAM....THUNK.

    Clippy: Look it, I'm not opening the door if you are dead. Are you really dead? Hey...you??? Damn humans (stomps off).

  • Creepy (Score:1)

    by Anonymous Coward

    I think it's a bit too 1984ish to me.

    Robots make great slaves but I don't think we should have any tolerance of them as masters. If they have any offensive capability, such as pepper spray, or Taser, then I think these things should come under attack on sight; either electronic warfare, or military force. Whichever is most effective.

    • Not a bad idea. The first effective enforcer bot will bring about the Oppression Singularity. It won't be pretty.

  • Dalek nothing (Score:3)

    by barlevg ( 2111272 ) on Friday November 21, 2014 @11:37AM (#48433855)
    It's Serge [battlestarwiki.org]!

  • Comment removed (Score:3)

    by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) on Friday November 21, 2014 @11:40AM (#48433879)
    Comment removed based on user account deletion
    • To quote a friend of mine, "I love these things! You can't knock over a normal security guard and rip out all the expensive electronics in them!"
    • You are confusing retail security guards with corporate security with ID checks and such, who will most certainly be proactive in locking down doors and calling cops.
  • They are loaded with Microsoft new AI operating system: Detection Autonome Vigilant Robot Operating System.

  • Since it can't climb obstacles, I wonder if you could simply corral one with a few well-placed bricks or concrete blocks.

    • Yes, you probably could.

      And using GPS, it would detect that it is not able to continue it's programmed patrol route, and it would signal for human backup to investigate.

      If you really want to defeat these, use the "cry wolf" method: Immobilize the bot, wait for backup to arrive and right it, wait until backup leaves, and then do it all again. After a dozen or so times, the security service will deem that these bots are useless, and just stop using them.
  • I think they sould be superseded by k-9 unit.
  • So even if they work they won't fully replace human security guards, what they will do is allow one guard to do the work that is now performed by a large group of people.
  • Had a whole storyline on this. Once again Microsoft is behind the times ...
  • This sounds like the T-1.

  • Microsoft Security Robots?
    They're an actual screen of death.
    They're blue and red all over.
    They're a punch line.

  • Hmm, I guess they still crash as often as Windows does.

    Brings new meaning to the phrase, Blue Scream of Death.

  • I've seen these robots, inside and out. Plywood and body putty, mainly, with off-the-shelf electronics and software glued together. Very spiffy-lookging UI, though. Gotta do the pretty part first, you know.

    The CEO of the company has an interesting track record -- no time to google it now as I'm headed for the airport -- but he left the taxpayers of Indiana with a $75 million liability when his company harvested a bunch of tax credits and then cratered. Oh... and I think just a couple of weeks ago this C

  • If you see a blue screen on one of these...DUCK!

  • They contain a sophisticated sensor suite that includes 360-degree HD video, thermal imaging, night vision, LIDAR, and audio recorders

    So, they can be defeated by a blanket.

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