Convert a SIM To a MicroSIM, With a Meat Cleaver 302
Posted
by
timothy
from the next-week-how-to-deliver-a-baby dept.
from the next-week-how-to-deliver-a-baby dept.
An anonymous reader writes "This morning, my shiny new iPad 3G 64GB arrived from the USA! The only problem was, it had an AT&T MicroSIM and as yet there is no such thing in the UK. So what's the solution? Get a chopping board, a meat cleaver, and a pair of scissors — simples!"
That's certainly... (Score:5, Funny)
Cutting edge technology.
Re:That's certainly... (Score:5, Funny)
[Insert sunglasses here]
YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
This is so much funnier, because (Score:2)
I had *just* gotten done watching the 'Machete' trailer over at The Superficial(.com)
Re:That's certainly... (Score:4, Funny)
It's from a popular American joke about Romanians and Gypsies.
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Re:That's certainly... (Score:5, Interesting)
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You had me until you said duct-tape. Try heat shrink tubing...
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Electrical tape is your friend too. Duct tape can be conductive. I found that out the hard way when I was a kid (miswired ignition system, 15Kv through a metallic non-electrical part covered in duct tape. Ouch.)
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Yeah, but you spent an hour soldering half of a $7 USB cable to repair a $15 Wi-Fi dongle.... :-)
I like to keep my finger on.. (Score:3, Funny)
The cutting edge of knifewear.
Re:That's certainly... (Score:5, Funny)
Cutting edge technology.
This person puts a new meaning to the term "hacker."
Re:That's certainly... (Score:4, Funny)
Will we hire him? I think he'll make the cut.
Re:That's certainly... (Score:4, Funny)
That was very cleaver!!
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Knife one!
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Re:That's certainly... (Score:5, Insightful)
Except that the page footer says "Made on a Mac" with an Apple logo. "Sent from my iPhone." "Sent from my iPod." Who cares? Their products insert advertising. I hate Apple for that crap.
Re:That's certainly... (Score:4, Insightful)
Did the guy write it himself? No? Then the product inserted it. I didn't claim it was hidden from the user.
Re:That's certainly... (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:That's certainly... (Score:4, Insightful)
Yeah so?
Blackberry does it on their devices, Hotmail does it, Android phones do it. So you hate all of them too?
Re:That's certainly... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:That's certainly... (Score:5, Informative)
Re:That's certainly... (Score:4, Insightful)
Never mind, apple lovers dont need to be factual when taking shots at android - big Steve said so.
Re:That's certainly... (Score:4, Interesting)
Ummmm....the point isn't that you can disable it. It's that it's extra advertising that's automatically inserted by default. If I buy a product, the company should be happy enough about that, not make strong suggestions that I continue advertising their product. Most consumers leave their gadgets at default settings, and Apple is relying on that tendency.
Yea :/
Now I should say up front, I do like Apples products. But that advertising thing even bugs me.
However in one case, specifically with my iPhone, I've discovered it's actually better for me to keep that there. Sorta.
One of the first things I did after setting up email on my phone, was delete the signature.
I noticed that when sending email from my iphone, I would compose the emails totally differently than I would at any computer (Be it from home or in the office), and people would actually read that as being too snippy to them, or are pissed off at something.
Re-reading my sentbox, I could see why. They had no idea i was adjusting my replies to be quick, for the trade off of getting a response in minutes instead of when I am next back in the office (Possibly 12 hours later if they send it right after I leave the building, or worse if that is on a friday)
I went in and re-added that signature, slightly modified:
-- Thanks, Dissy [Sent from cellphone]
(Well, I do use my real name for work)
Now people know I am typing on a teeny crappy onscreen keyboard that thinks it knows better than i what word I meant, and its just the quick 'text message' type thing. They know if it isn't that important it can wait until I am at a computer and can compose a more helpful reply. If it is an emergency, they now know to stop paging me on the loudspeakers and either call my cell, or I would be calling them directly.
But sure, the sig mentioning the iphone specifically is borderline spamming my friends family and coworkers. They do not need to know which device that sim card is in anyway, they ALL have tiny crappy keyboards for composing long email replies with :P
Re:That's certainly... (Score:4, Insightful)
but doesn't that mean we can just hate on both Apple AND Blackberry now?
Universal Solution! (Score:5, Funny)
Apologies for the focus issues with my new Canon IXUS 210 - it is going back today!
Why send it back when you have such mad skillz at your disposal? What happened to your DIY attitude? Just fix that lens focusing issue with a sharpie and a plasma cutter!
This works for SD cards going into microSD slots as well--just chop them up. I also heard that if you cut Wii discs in a perfect circle down to GameCube size they will even play in GameCubes. Cutting things up until they fit solves all of life's problems. Steak won't fit in mouth? Cut it up! Square peg not going in round hole? Cut it up! Video too large for e-mail? Cut it up! Loud mouth neighbor too large for freezer? Cut him up!
Re:Universal Solution! (Score:5, Funny)
I tried your approach with the bills that I couldn't pay but they just sent me another invoice.... :(
Re:Universal Solution! (Score:5, Funny)
I tried your approach with the bills that I couldn't pay but they just sent me another invoice.... :(
Try cutting the people sending the bill instead of the bill itself!
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Thank you for showing the plausibility of my above post.
Re:Universal Solution! (Score:5, Funny)
Billy solves his problems by calling up his mom.
Heather solver her problems with drugs and alchohol.
Daniel solves his problems with a doctor and the law,
But Malcolm has his own way, it's better than them all!
Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw!
Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw!
Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw!
And he never has the same problems twice!
Whether it's a bill or a cheque arriving late,
Rancid marble cheese or a steak that's second rate,
Awful TV programming or a broken Elvis plate,
Or his fiancee who dumps him, because he's gaining weight,
Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw!
Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw!
Malcolm solves his problems with a chainsaw!
And he never has the same problems twice!
-- The Arrogant Worms
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blurry vision (Score:5, Funny)
I read your comment as so:
I tried your approach with the balls that I couldn't play...
- took me a while to come back into my senses after the cold feelings of horror have gone through my spine column and I forced myself to reread that statement.
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Send them an invoice for your shredding services.
Re:Universal Solution! (Score:5, Funny)
Square peg not going in round hole? Cut it up!
I prefer using a lathe.
Then again, not everyone has access to one.
Re:Universal Solution! (Score:5, Funny)
I prefer using a lathe.
You're jutht being lathey.
Obligatory Galaxy Quest (Score:3, Funny)
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Should have use a really big piece of paper. Just hope the rock monster does not have a scissors monster friend.
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It's so rare to find a signature as true as yours is in this case.
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That was painful to say the least.
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Except for the I'm-too-big-for-your-mom problem.
You could cut off your own penis you know. Just leave the tip and cut off from the other end.
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Your attitude would have stopped every human technological advance from fire through to space travel.
The risk of any experiment is failure. The reward is knowledge either way. I mean come on, he was risking a SIM card, not life and limb here.
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> He made the mistake of presuming that the circuitry inside would
> be no bigger than the effective external contact area.
Not really a presumption considering that some operators actually mark the micro-SIM cutting lines for you:
http://aaisp.net.uk/i/sim.png [aaisp.net.uk]
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I think it was a little more calculated than pure luck. It is pretty much a known certainty that a SIM/Smart card is going to have most of the silicon applied to the back on the contact area, it's just cheaper to make them that way.
Worst case scenario? His "lack of judgement" forces him to call vodafone and request a replacement Sim. They normally arrive next day. Given the choice between no internet and playing the low risk game of butcher the card, I think the butchery would be my preferred option.
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He just decided to not fork out for the tools
Gives new meaning to the term (Score:2)
Up next: how to split an SD card into two mini-SD cards, using "git bisect."
Knock Knock (Score:5, Funny)
You have violated the TOS you agreed to by opening the packaging. Please relinquish the device post haste. Failure to produce the device will result in you being thrown in the apple shark tank (also known as the limo the lawyers ride in).
Re:Knock Knock (Score:5, Funny)
Perhaps not the best home visit to make. Your intended victim:
a) has a meat cleaver, and
b) has demonstrated significant skill in its use.
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b) has demonstrated significant skill in its use.
It would have been much more impressive if he used the cleaver to do the trimming with one handed swings instead of just using it to scribe lines. Even better if he could do it from memory freehand without a sample to guide him.
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Too bad someone had to agree to the terms before buying it. Apple requires that you're presented with all the terms of service about the device before the purchase can be made. You have to 'sign' (digitally or otherwise) that you agree to the terms before they take your money.
If you don't know what you're getting into when you buy an iPad or iPhone you entirely deserve to be told to fuck off for being a moron that signed without reading.
The current person in possession of the device may not have agreed to
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Too bad there's a well established principal in law that prevents getting someone to agree to something through inaction.
The Meat Cleaver brings the Swedish Chef to mind (Score:2, Funny)
Clipped-SIM in de iPad...
Bork Bork Bork! [youtube.com]
(sorry)
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Remember kids,, 'chef' in Swedish means 'Manager' [google.com]..
(or so Google tells me)
I hear that a file is better... (Score:5, Insightful)
I've heard advice from others that a file is actually better, as it works better for removing the controlled amount of material and things like rounding corners.
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I'm not very good at precision work with files, etc, but the Dremel makes it much easier for me. Especially if I can work off a template or set up a jig.
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If you want decent precision with a minimum of effort, why not use a Dremel tool?
Butcher. Put it in the vise on my CNC milling machine, conversational G-code at the keyboard, accurate to about a ten thousandth of an inch in a fraction of a second.
I'm sure someone richer than me would use a lasercutter, which even rounds the edges nicely.
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But a file is actually software isn't it? This is more of a hardware hack.
Or am I missing something?
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From Office of Making Things Unnecessarily Small (Score:3, Insightful)
What exactly is the point of MicroSIM anyway? To make it easier to lose?
Re:From Office of Making Things Unnecessarily Smal (Score:2)
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Fair enough, but why is the first thing to use it an *iPad* which is over twice a big as an iPhone with a regular SIM card? :)
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Or more to the point why didn't they make it that small to big with. Since all the guy did was cutdown a normal SIM card!
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Or more to the point why didn't they make it that small to big with. Since all the guy did was cutdown a normal SIM card!
My mom had a cell where you put in the entire credit card sized SIM, then came the smaller SIMs that you broke away from the "credit card". I'm guessing they made it that big simply because it's easier to handle big objects - rember that the target marked back then was butterfingered rich men.
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The actual reason was that back then sim cards (and mobile accounts) were expensive as hell. Namely you (as rich dude) were more likely to have multiple phones than multiple sim cards.
As such, a credit-card sized SIM made sense. It's sized to fit in your wallet with the rest of your cards. You would keep it in your wallet and when needed, whip it out and insert into "phone" of choice.
Back in the 80's/early 90's I remember coming across car stereos wondering why they had credit card slots, then I found o
in the interests of pedantry... (Score:2)
In the interests of whoosh... (Score:3, Informative)
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What exactly is the point of MicroSIM anyway? To make it easier to lose?
As you can see from the pictures, a regular SIM card wastes several mm^2 of space. Apple used the extra space to implement awesomeness and a fancyfier.
Re:From Office of Making Things Unnecessarily Smal (Score:5, Funny)
No, no, no. The point of the MicroSIM is so that you can sneak it across the border in your sinus cavity to evade the authorities.
Oops. I've said too much. :-D
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Locking customers in.
Re:From Office of Making Things Unnecessarily Smal (Score:5, Interesting)
Just think, the original SIM cards were as big as the piece of plastic you now punch them out of.
The common SIM we use today is properly called Mini-SIM.
SIMs use the same technology as smart cards (which every European credit card now is*), so they were originally the same size... no doubt this was back when mobile phones were the size of bricks or worse.
* We had a French foreign exchange student a few months ago, she tried to use her credit card at a gift shop, and couldn't figure out what she was supposed to do with it as there was no smart card reader. The swipe-and-sign method was completely foreign to her (literally!) just as the chip-and-pin method is foreign (and unavailable) to us. It was enlightening.
Agh, don't cleave with a vegetable knife! (Score:4, Informative)
You'll ruin your mighty-fine blade [amazon.com]. Rock it on the cutting board, dice up a big 'ol pile of veggies. This is a cleaver [wikipedia.org].
Boy, Slashdot needs <WP:Cleaver>-style tags.
Re:Agh, don't cleave with a vegetable knife! (Score:5, Funny)
This is a cleaver
That's not a cleaver, this is a Cleaver. [tvphotogalleries.com]
same works for apple products (Score:4, Funny)
That's not a meat cleaver! (Score:5, Informative)
*Twitch* *Twitch*
I have to do it. My parents own a kitchen store.
THAT'S NOT A MEAT CLEAVER!
It's most likely an 8" chef's knife. However, a meat cleaver would be better since the front and back edges are closer to parallel, where as the chef's knife is tapered to a point. The parallel edges would give a more precise cut when hammering on the back edge.
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31ETG99JSQL._SL500_AA280_.jpg [images-amazon.com]
*sigh*
Re:That's not a meat cleaver! (Score:5, Funny)
He is...the most annoying man in the world.
"I don't always correct other peoples errors on the internet, but when I do, I drink Dos Equis.
Stay pedantic, my friends." ;-)
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Re:That's not a meat cleaver! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:That's not a meat cleaver! (Score:4, Funny)
I see you've played knifey spoony before...
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Meat Cleavers the Optimal Solution (Score:4, Funny)
I think that this should start a trend.
Clearly meat cleavers are the best way to deal with all Apple products.
Good news everyone! (Score:2)
You have an iPad but it doesn't fit in your pocket? Grab a chef's knife and cut it down to iPod touch size!
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Your comment isn't so far-fetched.
It got me thinking about people dropping serious cash on a device like the iPad...then resorting to THIS kind of shit just to get it to do what they want it to.
Either Apple, or this guy trimming down SIM cards, need to rethink things.
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This guy imported a product that's not officially launched anywhere except the USA. So of course there has to be some hacking required. This is like people installing modchips in their consoles and DVD players to bypass countries/regions restrictions.
But will it blend? n/t (Score:2)
But will it blend?
If I ever decide to get a vasectomy... (Score:2)
John Benson is... (Score:2)
...pretty damned sharp. I bet it even works on the Edge network.
Slashdotter buying iPad? (Score:2)
Slashdot should have enough articles demonstrating how evil Apple is, and how even more evil the iPhone and iPad are.
Why is a slashdotter buying an iPad? That is the real news to me.
All I want for xmas is.... (Score:2)
All I want for xmas is a 3-G meat cleaver.
To everyone... (Score:2)
http://www.wengerna.com/giant-knife-16999 [wengerna.com]
In case you break the SIM - just etch a new one with the integrated workbench
It woudl have been interesting to know... (Score:2)
A better write-up, with dimensions and adapter (Score:3, Informative)
The linked article was mediocre. We all know how to cut things with scissors and knives, what we need are the measurements. Here is a better writeup, with the micro SIM dimensions [touchuserguide.com]. It also links to the micro SIM shop, where you can buy adapters to convert the micro SIM back to a mini SIM.
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Oops, LoudMusic already pointed that out. Sorry.
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Where?
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Actually the saying I use when my coworkers complain it is too cold in the office but I'm still hot is "You can always add more layers while I have only so many I can take off". That mental image usually shuts them up for a while.
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Why? The sim card is certainly lower on the hardness scale than most random bones in meat that the knife is likely to come in contact with.