Finally ... RoboShark!

Noryungi writes "Cousteau's grandson has built a robotic replica of a great white shark to better observe these animals in their natural environment. The robot-slash-submarine is able to mingle with the great white, and not draw their attention, thanks to a closed-circuit pneumatic propulsion system and cleverly disguised cameras. Do not miss the nice pictures next to the Wired article. Let the Dr Evil joke begin!"

Veggie Boy

[fembots]

It will probably be teased for being a vegetarian too.

However the scariest part is when the real sharks kidnaps this roboshark, and one of them disguises and returns to the base...

Re:Veggie Boy

[fat man with a monke]

"However the scariest part is when the real sharks kidnaps this roboshark, and one of them disguises and returns to the base..." Dunno if you were making an animorphs reference there, but that's what I pulled from that. THey were good books about six years ago.

GWS are not very heard oriented species

[EmbeddedJanitor]

AFAIK (and I hope the great man's grandson knows better), are mainly solitary beings so I don't really see the point on trying to look the same. It might make sense with hammerheads that often congregate in hundreds.

They also spend a lot of time hunting in waters with shortish range visibility where you'd expect a robot to sound different and send out diferent electrical patterns.

Re:GWS are not very heard oriented species

[Furmy]

Heard?
Herd?

Fish would be a school.
But I don't even know if it would be "school of shark" or "school of sharks".

Crows get to be called a murder.

And after some imagining, I wouldn't know how to even START naming a Beowulf Cluster of Robot Sharks.

Re:GWS are not very heard oriented species

[Jedi Alec]

But I don't even know if it would be "school of shark" or "school of sharks".

Generally speaking the last thing people are concerned with when surrounded by great whites would be how to call them. But judging from the movies a congregation of them would commonly be referred to as "uh oh"

Re:GWS are not very heard oriented species

[TFGeditor]

"I wouldn't know how to even START naming a Beowulf Cluster of Robot Sharks."

A circuit of sharks?
An elasmobranch of robots?
A bulwark of Beowulfs?

Re:GWS are not very heard oriented species

[Dirtside]

And after some imagining, I wouldn't know how to even START naming a Beowulf Cluster of Robot Sharks.

The name for that is whatever the hell the sharks want it to be.

Re:Veggie Boy

[mog007]

I feel sorry for the guy. Is he going to have to live in the shadow of his grandfather for the rest of his life? This is an amazing piece of engineering, and he's going to go down in the books as "The grandson of the bestest oceanographer to come out of France." That's not very fair.

Re:Veggie Boy

[jessecurry]

well, he's credited as coming from the same family...I'd consider it more of an honor. He is definitely getting credit for his own work, but mention of his grandfather is brought in to show that they have a legacy. It's really similar to the way that professional athletes are credited for being the son of some other famous professional athlete.
I for one would be proud to carry on such a great family tradition, the fact that I was working to a level that allowed me to be classified with my grandfather would

Re:Veggie Boy

[GreyWolf3000]

There's still the matter of the cheese, oh smarmy AC. He didn't say 'lacto-ovo.'

Yup. I live in Austin Texas alright.

No one likes a vegetarian?

[Pfhorrest]

Come now. Plenty of us like vegetarians. Far leaner and juicier than carnivores, much less those bottom-feeders and carrion-eaters you catch at fast food joints. I especially like the macrobiotics. Stir fried, with tamari and red pepper... mmmmmmm....

Re:No one likes a vegetarian?

[GreyWolf3000]

Must admit, though my parents are full vegetarians, I've never been able to make the jump. Though, now I eat 5 servings of meat per week. I've been learning to cook more and more, and I often substitute soy for meat--just as much protein (I work out pretty often), but way better for you.

Re:No one likes a vegetarian?

[r00t]

Well, that's about right for a human. There's no
reason for you to change. Meat consumption was one
of the critical changes that made apes human.

Just stay away from blackened (cancer-causing) stuff
and fake stuff like hot dogs.

Re:Veggie Boy

[Moraelin]

Wow, worst advertising ever: "87% of people thought our game sucked enough to never come back once they tried it!"

Well, that's not _necessarily_ a bad thing (although from experience it _probably_ is). It all depends on why they thought it sucked.

For example think in terms of Bartle's dividing the MMO players into "killers", "achievers", "explorers" and "socializers". If you make a game where it's absolutely impossible to harm or scam other players, you'll lose "killers" within hours. I.e., you've driven

Oh gee thanks...

[DarkHelmet]

Let the Dr Evil joke begin!

Good one Noryungi! I'm sure there were tons of us slashdotters who were saving up their wit and creativity for a post like this.

I imagine there are slashdotters out there who have mountains of In Soviet Russia, Old Korean People, Sharks with Friggin Lasers, goatse, and Microsoft Trolls just WAITING to be unleashed. It's been a long time since we could use the Sharks with Friggin Lasers troll/joke, so this would have been a perfect story to use it...

But what do you do? You give the goahead for us to make the joke! You killed the surprise! You made all those trolls out there look... *gasp* unoriginal! This will not stand!

Now, all those posts will be -1 Troll instead of +5 Funny! You killed slashdot culture! You bastard! Timothy, quick! Do something! Censor him! Anything!

----

On another note... the article tickled me to no end as Cousteau referred to the shark kind of like a "retarded cousin from Australia." I wonder what the Aussies have to say about this. How about a comment there, Steve Irwin? Too busy with that crockie? No worries.

Re:Oh gee thanks...

[deathazre]

problem is, the laser joke initiated in the by-line

from the sans-frickin'-lasers dept.

Re:Oh gee thanks...

[Infinityis]

What the heck, I've got karma to burn!

In Soviet Russia, Old Korean Sharks with Friggin Lasers goatse you!

Re:Oh gee thanks...

[general_re]

Speaking of /. jumping the shark, what's this day pass business?

Re:Oh gee thanks...

[The Dark]

On another note... the article tickled me to no end as Cousteau referred to the shark kind of like a "retarded cousin from Australia." I wonder what the Aussies have to say about this.
He probably just picked Australia as we tend to have more sharks per head of population than most of the rest of the world, and probably fewer legs per head of population than then rest of the world too.

Re:Oh gee thanks...

[Koiu Lpoi]

So, are you saying that, in order to be modded as 'funny', people are actually going to have to be funny, and not just repeat an age-old slashdot horseburger?

Bullshit.

Re:Oh gee thanks...

[Koiu Lpoi]

Overlords? Hardly, dude. I tried to tell you - they don't exist!

Well, at least statistically.

Re:Oh gee thanks...

[DarthStrydre]

You tried to sum up all of Slashdot's awesome creativity potential in one post. Sadly, you failed.

I, for one, welcome our new friggin-laser-armed shark overlords.

Re:Oh gee thanks...

[elgatozorbas]

It's been a long time since we could use the Sharks with Friggin Lasers troll/joke

More specifically: from the previous story.

(I know, it's irony)

Dr. Evil? How 90's! Try Sealab 2021

[Anonymous Coward]

"My dad put his robot penis in my mom's shark vagina!"

Let's Begin indeed

[Man in Spandex]

Interesting articles. I wonder how they made Jaws now. Puppets?!

Let the Dr Evil joke begin!"

Yes interesting article but I stil see no frikin laser beams attatched to their heads!

Re:Let's Begin indeed

[josh3736]

Interesting articles. I wonder how they made Jaws now. Puppets?!

Admit it. You fudged your way through that wholly uninspired line just so you could write "frikin laser beams attatched to their heads."

Re:Let's Begin indeed

[Man in Spandex]

[Dr Evil Voice]
SILENCE! I will not tolerate your insolence!

Re:Let's Begin indeed

[B3ryllium]

But my shoes don't HAVE insoles.

Re:Let's Begin indeed

[X0563511]

Now what would be funny is if the guy added a laser pointer to it's forhead that he could fire during pictures. Use one of the green ones, it'll show up well in the water.

Frickin' sharks... go the Dolphins!

[Audent]

Forget your namby pamby laser-free sharks.

You want one of these!

http://www.innespace.com/ [innespace.com]

sweeeeeeet.

1,200 pounds

[maotx]

Yes, but does it come with a freakin' laserbeam mounted on its head?

"It's extremely innovative" said Cousteau. "It's a 1,200-pound tool that looks, feels and moves like a great white shark."

1,200 pounds is pretty big no matter how you look at it. And on top of that it moves with no engine noise or bubbles. It pushes through a 120-cubic-foot cylinder to move.
This definatly sounds like an improvement from the robotic shark used in the Jaws movies. I hate to be the one stuck filming with the thing if it malfunctions.

However, if the sub goes kablooey, Cousteau can eject through an escape hatch in the shark's head.

Only to be eaten by a hungry Great White.*

*One would be suprised how the Great White is really looked at competely the wrong way. The reason for the wrap of the bad name (besides Jaws) is the problem with their way of satisfying their curiousity. As humans have a habit of touching things they are curious about with their fingers sharks satisfy it by biting. Their bite is meant only as a touch but with thousands of razor sharp teeth it can also be deadly. I've seen divers who swim with full size (17 feet) Great Whites without a cage and escape harmless.

Re:1,200 pounds

[sTalking_Goat]

As humans have a habit of touching things they are curious about with their fingers sharks satisfy it by biting.

The one I've always heard is that if you get attacked by a Great White its probably because they've mistaken you for a Seal. Sharks supposedly don't like the tatste of human much, and don't actually eat the parts they've bitten off.Though that doesn't make you any less dismembered.

That might be apocryphal though, so don't quote me.

Re:1,200 pounds

[_Hellfire_]

I heard this too. Apparently, when you're lying on a boogie board with your legs and arms dangling over the side, you look a helluva lot like a seal from underneath to a shark (as they have poor eyesight).

Re:1,200 pounds

[iocat]

From a significant distance -- a couple hundred feet -- boogie boarders in northern CA who wear wetsuits, look like seals from *shore.* You gotta forgive the sharks a few exploratory nibbles.

Re:1,200 pounds

[Joe Tie.]

Sharks supposedly don't like the tatste of human much

And they hate, hate, zombies.

Re:1,200 pounds

[CoffeeJedi]

don't you mean Zombi's?

(i know its an old story now, but i gotta give props to a Fulci reference)

Re:1,200 pounds

[Creepy]

Actually, the seal thing is why some smaller sharks attack surfers by accident (like black and white tipped reef sharks). These sharks never attack divers unless provoked (at least that I know of), but do account for many bite and flee attacks. And from watching film of it, a surfboard and a seal from 10' underwater do look an awful lot alike. A previous post mentioned poor vision, which is wrong - read this about shark vision [elasmo-research.org]. They do cover their eyes when they bite, so don't really know exactly what

Re:1,200 pounds

[Infinityis]

"Their bite is meant only as a touch but with thousands of razor sharp teeth it can also be deadly. I've seen divers who swim with full size (17 feet) Great Whites without a cage and escape harmless."

Your use of the word "escape" seems to indicate bias, as though they really are that dangerous...

Re:1,200 pounds

[maotx]

Allrighty then...
And leave the water without harm.

Though a 4,000 pound shark that could easily rip you apart is kinda dangerous.

Deadly, for sure...

[Infinityis]

The human touch can be deadly too. Let me tell you, any guy who touches an unfamiliar girl out of curiosity will likely meet a swift death.

Re:1,200 pounds

[H0NGK0NGPH00EY]

I've seen divers who swim with full size (17 feet) Great Whites without a cage and escape harmless.

Yeah, I can imagine that most humans would be pretty harmless lying in a hospital bed.

Re:1,200 pounds

[flyingsquid]

Yeah, I can imagine that most humans would be pretty harmless lying in a hospital bed.

Maybe it's a typo, and he meant "escape armless".

That's mostly semantics.

[i41Overlord]

One would be suprised how the Great White is really looked at competely the wrong way. The reason for the wrap of the bad name (besides Jaws) is the problem with their way of satisfying their curiousity. As humans have a habit of touching things they are curious about with their fingers sharks satisfy it by biting. Their bite is meant only as a touch but with thousands of razor sharp teeth it can also be deadly.

To a researcher, it may be a big deal to find out what the shark's intentions are when they bi

Yummy!

[WerewulfX]

Crunchy on the outside, humanie on the inside!

In other news

[NIK282000]

Cousteau's grandson was eaten. The suits manufacturer says that the wearing of the suit and being ingested by another animal is purely conicidental.

salsa robo-shark

[merc]

Man goes into cage, cage goes into salsa, shark's in the salsa, robo shark.

Re:salsa robo-shark

[Flounder]

Gonna need a bigger chip.

Tintin jokes

[mollyhackit]

I think Tintin [wikipedia.org] jokes would be more worthwhile. Red Rackham's Treasure here we come!

Definitely prior art

[xixax]

Billions of bilious blue blistering barbequed barnacles! I'm sure Tin Tin has prior art over shark subs. Or maybe Cousteau read too much Herge as a lad.

Better article from Apple.com

[jberkom]

...not likely to slow down much either.

http://www.apple.com/pro/video/cousteau/ [apple.com]

retarded

[azatht]

Since Troy cannot respond in a sophisticated, sharklike manner, Cousteau decided that while the great whites do buy that he's a shark, they consider him more like a "retarded cousin from Australia."

why is all retarded cousins from Australia?

Re:retarded

[PedanticSpellingTrol]

yeah, everybody knows that the real 'tards are all Newfies. Ahh Newfoundland... giving the American South someplace to point the finger and say "See! We're not the bottom after all"

Re:retarded

[schtum]

giving the American South someplace to point the finger and say "See! We're not the bottom after all" ... if they could find it on a map.

Mac Attack!

[eander315]

Wow, that was a bad subject. But it's not a joke [apple.com]. Apple has more material on their site than Cousteau [fabiencousteau.com] does on his.

Shark People, Shark People

[crlove]

Looks like shark, tastes like people.

Didn't Wired used to pull stories from Slashdot?

[penguinstorm]

At least that's how I thought the news flow went.

Slow news day

[OverlordQ]

Welcome to 2004 [deeperblue.net].

I Think I Hear Spielberg Swearing

[DumbSwede]

Spielberg could have saved himself a lot of money filming "Jaws" if this thing had existed then and been at all realistic. I'll bet Grade B movie producers are scrambling over themselves to offer to rent this thing. Of course CGI has made this kind of actual model filming largely unneeded, but probably for a few more years people might like a physically based special effect if the price is right.

Of course Cousteau (Jacques's son Fabian) is himself using the beast for filming -- so not so pure research after all.

Attach cameras Fabien!

[xbsd]

" Spielberg could have saved himself a lot of money filming "Jaws" if this thing had existed then and been at all realistic. I'll bet Grade B movie producers are scrambling over themselves to offer to rent this thing."

This thing swims like a shark but does not bite like a shark, so is not ready for the movies.

Now, I don't know much about aquatic life, but wouldn't be cheaper if, instead of mimicking sharks with a robot, they just attach three remora-like cameras to a real shark?.

Re:Attach cameras Fabien!

[Famanoran]

Do you want to volunteer to attach these cameras to a shark?

Re:Attach cameras Fabien!

[CmdrGravy]

Ha ha, this is the brilliant bit. I simply manufacture a totally lifelike human robot to play the part of the actress.

Brought To You By...Grizzlebee's!

[JohnPerkins]

Insert Tinfins joke here...

Re:Brought To You By...Grizzlebee's!

[ajlitt]

"He put his human penis in my mother's robot shark vagina."

Generalization

[ChodeMonkey]

This is a great idea that should be generalized to allow humans to more easily observe nature (both in and out of the water) without the interference of cameras and trucks/boats etc.

Although I have not seen it I have heard that such a stunt was portrayed in some Jim Carey Pet Detective movie to the delight of potty humorists everywhere (I look forward to seeing it myself some day :).

It would also be a riot if other alien species do this type of thing to observe humans. Bump into someone on the street and a camera falls out of their mouth and all kinds of alien cursing starts coming from within the guy's body.

Re:Generalization

[CarnivorousCoder]

On the Discovery channel I have seen things like the "dung" camera to observe elephants, and the "log" camera to observe lions. Both met with great success.

Tehcnically speaking...

[Infinityis]

"...Cousteau referred to the shark kind of like a 'retarded cousin from Australia.'"

Wouldn't that make it a not-so-great white shark?

Re:Tehcnically speaking...

[teneighty]

Wouldn't that make it a not-so-great white shark?

You mean Greg Norman?

Re:Tehcnically speaking...

[sqlgeek]

You forgot the shark [shark.com] link.

Oblig Tin Fins

[wargolem]

We've taken nature's perfect killing machine and needlessly turned it into a robot!

2021

[Giddeon]

Fabien Cousteau: "I took nature's most perfect killing machine, and needlessly turned it into a robot!"

Screw Dr. Evil, Bring in Dr. Quinn

[Sux2BU]

I took nature's most perfect killing machine and needlessly turned it into a robot.

Favorite Quote

[bleckywelcky]

From TFA:

Since Troy cannot respond in a sophisticated, sharklike manner, Cousteau decided that while the great whites do buy that he's a shark, they consider him more like a "retarded cousin from Australia."

That third camera...

[CatGrep]

The third camera records Cousteau's behavior inside the sub.

Is this one there so they can make a documentary about marine biologists at the same time as they make the one about the sharks?

Working title could use some help

[General Alcazar]

Fabien states, "It's all about battling the mindless killing machine imagery,"

Umm, you might start with a different title than, "Mind of a Demon" then!

Fresh water Nuclear Sharks

[Blind_Io_42]

Have none of you played No One Lives Forever 2?
Do you not know of the secret government plot to train sharks to use swim up Soviet rivers with nuclear weapons for a sneaky first strike? Of course we also had to train them to use special gear for fresh water, but after the classes in nuclear physics that was not problem
... and then some bright civilian had to go build a robotic shark for half the price.

Electricity?

[dustinbarbour]

I'm interested to know how the sharks react to the obvious increase in electric current in the water. You know.. that stuff sharks are supremely sensitive to? That sutff that they can sense from miles away? Is ti a problem at all or does it jsut blend in with the natural noises of the sea? If it was a problem, how was it solved?

prey's response

[whovian]

Take dolphins for example. I just gegoogelt and found that white shark prey on dolphins, so it seems reasonable that dolphins would use their echolocation to sense the presence of "shark". I wonder what this faux shark would sonar like.
(hopefully not chicken! :P )

Re:prey's response

[arodland]

Googeln is a verb now? Oh, great. I think it's even worse than it is in English. :)

Yes, but can Fonzie waterski over it?...

[frogblender]

Let's focus on the really important questions....

What about electricity...

[rips123]

AFAIK sharks (like sting rays) are extremely sensitive to electric fields. They are so sensitive in fact that there were some shark repellant devices a few years back that basically just periodically zapped the water at a voltage level that wasn't noticed by people but scared off sharks. How then, can this mechanical device with electronic cameras in it fool a shark into acting naturally when its giving off a strange electric field signature?

Re:What about electricity...

[Quixote]

Not to mention the kerchunk-kerchunk of large cylinders hammering away inside. Since sound carries in water so well, not only will it look like the retarded cousin from Australia, it will sound like the "retarded cousin from Australia with a bad case of gas".

What about gas?

[Lead Butthead]

With all the pneumatic systems, maybe the OTHER sharks think it had beans for lunch and is thus having gastrointestinal problems.

Re:What about electricity...

[Deliveranc3]

Well if it's full of electronics, it's probably the Great Pimp Shark.

Thank you thank you I'll be here all night.

Re:What about electricity...

[nmg196]

Er, insulated wires perhaps?! Why would the electricity be able to escape into the water without shorting out the 'crafts' own systems? If it's going underwater then it's all going to be sealed. After all, a shark is perfectly happy to swim right up to a massive research ship with a cage hanging off the side which probably has it's on mains-voltage supply running the length of the ship.

Clearing out my local surf spot

[triclipse]

Wow, I was just talking to somebody about getting one of these to clear out my local surf spot (Swami's, better known as "Swarmies"). Actually, my first idea involved two power boats and a large net, but this would be much more humane.

Ace Ventura / grandson of Jacque Cousteau

[craXORjack]

A submarine that looks like a Great White Shark?
Why does this sound so familiar [tellusfilm.com]to me?
I guess it's true that great minds think alike.

A natural predator for...

[FlyByPC]

...RoboTuna! [mit.edu]

Proffesor Calculus

[Deliveranc3]

With his pith ball on a thread.

Is it male?

[Spacejock]

It had better be (a) built as a male so [most] other sharks don't try and copulate with it or (b) fitted with shock absorbers so the cameras don't shake to pieces when all the other males start humping the life out of it.

Dr Evil? How about Jaws!?

[jamesjw]

First think I thought of when I saw the title was COOL!!! REAL LIFE JAWS!!!

One of these babys on remote control and I could have some real fun at the beach!!

Course this is slashdot, and many a slashdotter has never left their house let alone gone to the beach but this could be it folks.. Radio controlled WiFi enabled Robosharks!!

I have one question though, do these guys take Visa or Mastercard? :)

I WANT MY KILLER ROBO FISH!!

-- Jim

Why isn't it an ROV?

[FridayBob]

Seems to me they could do a lot better by removing the the guy inside. After all, he can only see out with the aid of some cameras and monitors anyway. Perhaps they'd have to work on improving their wireless communications, but I don't think that would be a show stopper. A little AI would also help.

Video available from G4TV

[bindster]

Video shot before the robot was finsihed, but still has some good stuff, like the death of the mentioned first robot. http://www.g4tv.com/techtvvault/features/45548/It_ Swims_With_Sharks.html [g4tv.com]

Does it have "lasers" ?

[jocknerd]

This thing would make a great prank on a beach somewhere. You could sit on the beach with the remote and scare the shit out swimmers.

It's all fun and games...

[technopinion]

Until your robo-shark, with you in it, gets eaten by a passing Orca.

So it looks like a shark...

[quisph]

...but does it SMELL like a shark? Vision is not the shark's most acute sense. Sharks can only see about 25-30 meters in front of them (which is still pretty impressive in underwater conditions), but they can smell something hundreds of meters away.

This submarine is cool, and a step in the right direction, but it almost seems like they designed it to fool humans, not sharks.

Cool

[Junior J. Junior III]

Now I can go about delivering my candygrams.

No Sealab 2021 fans here, huh

[poot_rootbeer]

"I took nature's most perfect killing machine, and needlessly turned it into a robot." -- Dr. Quinn [tvtome.com]

Grizzlebee's Onion Burst, with Honey-Maple-Ranch dipping sauce! COWABUNGA!

Re:but do they have

[ockegheim]

It's old news- Dr Evil's underlings already did that.

Re:Bringing in the New Regime...

[joeldg]

if I had mod points.. this would go away..

welcome to being relegated to the backburner of the boring nerd-ville...

Re:Bringing in the New Regime...

[ecko3437]

if I had mod points.. this would go away..

That dumb "I, for one..." joke or the sharks?