Google Moves Into Drink Market 199
atrader42 writes "Google has announced on its main page a mysterious new product called "Google Gulp". Featuring qualities such as "autodrink" and brain optimization, Google Gulp promises to be the drink of the future. Although one may be concerned about the fine print, which includes provisions such as "Google Gulp will send packets of data related to your usage of this product from a wireless transmitter," we should be able to trust them on this. What's next? Yahoo Yoohoo? MSN Munchies?"
I'm probably reading too much into this, but... (Score:4, Interesting)
4. What if I don't want to use Auto-Drink(TM)?
No problem - simply turn off Auto-Drink(TM) on your Google Gulp preferences page.
5. Well, shouldn't Auto-Drink(TM) be default-off?
You mean we should cripple a perfectly useful feature just because of a little bad PR?
Re:I'm probably reading too much into this, but... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:I'm probably reading too much into this, but... (Score:2)
Re:I'm probably reading too much into this, but... (Score:5, Funny)
7. How can I get my hands on a Google Gulp?
This "limited release" beta product is available to anyone who turns in a used Google Gulp bottle cap at any local retailer. If you don't have any Gulp caps, ask a friend to give you one.
8. What if none of my friends have a Gulp cap to give me? Can't you just give Google Gulp to anyone who wants it?
Well, we're thinking about it, but, um, you have to understand that there are many considerations which go into deciding how to distribute --
9. I mean, isn't this whole invite-only thing kind of bogus?
Dude, it's like you've never even heard of viral marketing.
Re:I'm probably reading too much into this, but... (Score:2)
This is why the gmail spool is good, and possibly why it's actually surprisingly hard to locate [google.co.uk] using Google..
Re:I'm probably reading too much into this, but... (Score:2)
But I still link to it from my sig anyway.
Re:I like an April Fools joke as much as the next (Score:2)
I mean, I wouldn't mind it so much if some other site managed to fool the slashdot editors... but they're being complicit in all of this, and turning Slashdot into "Poor Parodies for Nerds".
Re:I like an April Fools joke as much as the next (Score:2)
A Proposal (Score:5, Funny)
A Slashdot/Google Tradition (Score:1)
Re:A Slashdot/Google Tradition (Score:3, Informative)
Re:A Proposal (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:A Proposal (Score:1, Funny)
privacy policy (Score:5, Funny)
Re:privacy policy (Score:4, Funny)
No personally identifiable information of any kind related to your consumption of Google Gulp or any other current or future Google Foods product will ever be given, sold, bartered, auctioned off, tossed into a late-night poker pot, or otherwise transferred in any way to any untrustworthy third party, ever, we swear.
I'll see your Joe Schmoe's contact information and raise you Jane Doe's SSN.
Bathroom (Score:2)
I think Yahoo has them beat, though - their acquisition of Drinkr has really upped their cred in the blogosphere.
Re:Bathroom (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Bathroom (Score:2)
I can't actually think of a pub in my home town that doesn't do this already. There used to be a bar at my local football club that had that day's sports pages there, though.
MSN Munchies? (Score:1)
I don't care... (Score:2, Funny)
I know!!! (Score:4, Funny)
THAT would be unexpected and hilarious!
Re:I know!!! (Score:1)
Re:I know!!! (Score:2)
That would REALLY be funny!
Spread the word!
AND THEN... HAHA.... THEN.. (Score:1)
HAHAH GOOD IDEA AHAHA.... THAT would be HILARIOUS!!!
Re:I know!!! (Score:2)
If believed this was true you did, (Score:2)
I'll stop the Yoda nonsense now.
It's April FOOL! (Score:1)
Today.... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Today.... (Score:2)
Get it on Ebay! (Score:5, Interesting)
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ite
Re:Get it on Ebay! (Score:1)
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ite
Re:Get it on Ebay! (Score:1)
-Tim
Re:Get it on Ebay! (Score:1)
Google Gulp [ebay.com]
Re:Get it on Ebay! (Score:2)
It's already on eBay (Score:5, Interesting)
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ite
Re:It's already on eBay (Score:1)
What will the seller do when the buyer demands his Google Gulp cap? I'm sure someone will sue this man for all 40 cents he is owed. I swear people will take these kinds of things seriously.
Re:It's already on eBay (Score:2)
Re:It's already on eBay (Score:1)
A joke of course... (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:A joke of course... (Score:2)
Some people just like to blow things out of perspective cause they can...like you.
Re:A joke of course... (Score:2, Informative)
I'm sure any number of drive-by-installed spyware programs could say exactly the same thing.
What about the people I email, and whose email I'd receive in a gmail account? They haven't given their consent to have their communications tapped, and I hardly think it's practical to check the privacy policy of every email provider of everyone you might want
Re:A joke of course... (Score:2, Insightful)
One problem here. Gmail didn't drive by and install itself on your machine! You went to their page and accepted their agreement and click many-a buttons to get your account. And if you don't like it, just don't check your email and look, nothing is read!
"What about the people I email, and whose email I'd receive in a gmail account? They haven't given their consent to have their communications tapped, and I hard
Poster is the fool.... (Score:1)
shens (Score:1)
Scary enough this would work. (Score:2)
Re:Scary enough this would work. (Score:2)
Placebo! The drug against which all others are tested!
AFJ (Score:1)
from the faq (Score:5, Interesting)
A Man, if you pressure us, you just drive us away. We'll commit when we're ready, okay? Besides, what's so great about taking things out of beta? It ruins all the romance, the challenge, the possibilities, the right to explore. Carpe diem, ya know? Maybe we're jaded, but we've seen all these other companies leap headlong into 1.0, thinking their product is exactly what they've been dreaming of all their lives, that everything is perfect and hunky-dory and the next thing you know some vanilla copycat release from Redmond is kicking their butt, the Board is holding emergency meetings and the CEO is on CNBC blathering sweatily about "a new direction" and "getting back to basics." No thanks, man. We like our freedom.
Re:from the faq (Score:2)
You mean like Linux 1.0 ;)
In Russia. (Score:2, Funny)
In Korea (Score:1)
It's sad.... (Score:3, Funny)
Today I almost find myself hoping for a Roland Piquepaille article, just to relieve the pace....
Cheers,
b&
You know (Score:1, Redundant)
Roll on tomorrow, when the site will return to being nearly (but not quite) a useful source of information.
Hi. (Score:1, Redundant)
Listen, I understand the need to (try?) be funny on April Fools day. But the problem is, the whole spirit of "April Fools" is to fool the person into actually believing the joke.
Posting random bits of joke material over and over is not a very good April Fools.
Might I suggest next year that you post a story amongst a bunch of real runes, that is somewhat believable..
Have a nice day.
Should have. . . (Score:2)
Of course, the part about brain optimization might also be useful in her case.
To see some of the stories you've been missing, see my Journal.
Google Gulp and Your Privacy (Score:2)
Google Gulp and Your Privacy
From time to time, in order to improve Google Gulp's usefulness for our users, Google Gulp will send packets of data related to your usage of this product from a wireless transmitter embedded in the base of your Google Gulp bottle to the GulpPlex(TM), a heavily guarded, massively parallel server farm whose location is known only to Eric Schmidt, who carries its GPS coordinates on a 64-bit-encrypted smart card locked in a stainless-steel briefcase handcuffed to
Oh, Gawd... (Score:1)
Wireless Transmission (Score:1)
I've tried it... (Score:2, Funny)
porp
hardware? (Score:2)
Re:hardware? (Score:2)
Re:hardware? (Score:2)
Google (Score:1)
When will you take Google Gulp out of beta?
Man, if you pressure us, you just drive us away. We'll commit when we're ready, okay? Besides, what's so great about taking things out of beta? It ruins all the romance, the challenge, the possibilities, the right to explore. Carpe diem, ya know? Maybe we're jaded, but we've seen all these other companies leap headlong into 1.0, thinking their product is exactly what they've been dreaming of all their lives, that everything is perfect and hu
Phew,,, (Score:1)
Mmmm... Fat Clusters (Score:3, Funny)
Additionally, Campbell's ammounced today that they are releasing a Unicode version of their famous Alphabet Soup.
Oh - come oooon!! (Score:1)
OK (Score:2)
Nothing New (Score:5, Funny)
This does not fit in the hardware category (Score:2)
Drinks are not hardware...
Yes the wireless chips and the nanobots that would be part of the drink and packaging are, but they are used in comination with a fluid medium.
All future Slashdot 04/01 jokes should now include an appropriatly created category for their placement.
JC
Yes but... (Score:1)
April Fools challenge (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:April Fools challenge (Score:1)
It A1 every day for MS proof?
Get The Facts!
Lawsuit on the way. (Score:1)
As I understand Google will be sued by MS on this idea as the former company has a patent granted regarding the information transfer technology involved with google pulp.
Skin data transfer technology has existed since when the first life forms started crawling around and feeling things (data signals sent to brain).
However the prospect of a judge ruling in favor of google depends on whether the data signals from his skin are sent to his brain and whether or not he those signals where correctly interprete
It's sad how many kids will get hooked on this (Score:1)
But, more importantly, will it come in a BSD-compatible version?
Where is the User Preference ... (Score:1)
Jumpin Jesus on a Pogo Stick. there's been at least 10 April Fools Day stories.
For real. What, is it April 1st? (Score:3, Informative)
(Although they actually fooled me a few times quite some time ago, but we won't go into that)
I have to say.... (Score:1)
Slashdot admins are smart, witty people (Score:1)
And in other news... (Score:1)
Come on... (Score:1)
If I drink that... (Score:1)
Oh, this isn't a hoax. (Score:3, Funny)
On a completely unrelated note, wouldn't you agree that it's better to take someting and run with it rather than just shout "I got the joke!"
Ahoy... (Score:2)
* Birds!
RFID tags in drinks have a metallic aftertaste (Score:1)
priceless (Score:1)
so much for Taco Bell, (Score:2)
Hey, I'm hungry, let's all get dressed up and go to eat at Google tonight! Yea!! (friends cheering)
hardware? (Score:1)
Lame-ass upcoming stories from mysterious future: (Score:2)
Mega Mags, Life Sized Magnetic Toys
Posted by CmdrTaco in The Mysterious Future!
from the to-large-for-dwarves dept.
A random user noted MegaMags , a life size version of the popular MiniMag toys available at ThinkGeek (TG is owned by OSTG, the parent company of Slashdot, so activate all conspiracy theories now). You can also look into the new iPod accessory iCopulate which allows intimacy between mp3 players never before fantasized
A good test for the product... (Score:1)
*ducking and running*
Here's a thought... (Score:2)
Gmail's first birthday! (Score:3, Informative)
Mmmm..... (Score:2)
Same story was rejected at 7AM... (Score:2)
Google Gulp is Evil!!!! (Score:2)
And next year, don't buy the Google Fedora(TM). It's spyware.
Sincerely,
Google-Gulp-Watch.org
Wrong Friggin Name. (Score:2)
Google Gulp name is lame. (Score:2)
This is pretty funny. Laugh is good for you. (Score:2)
11. When will you take Google Gulp out of beta?
Man, if you pressure us, you just drive us away. We'll commit when we're ready, okay? Besides, what's so great about taking things out of beta? It ruins all the romance, the challenge, the possibilities, the right to explore. Carpe diem, ya know? Maybe we're jaded, but we've seen all these other companies leap headlong into 1.0, thinking their product is exactly what they've been dreaming of all their lives, that everything is perfect and hunk
Re:April Fools? (Score:1)
Re:April Fools? (Score:2)
Thank you Captain Obvious!
Re:NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. (Score:4, Insightful)
But this isn't google news or excite or yahoo. I think the expectation is that I will read some *truly* insightful stuff as I wade through all the GNAA and goats.cx crap.
Provided this isn't how it looks 365, I'm not unhappy enough to quit reading and posting.
If this really pisses you off, let me suggest that you grab your local newspaper and head down for a beer at your favorite watering hole. I'm sure that the combination of beer, newsprint, and conversation with the locals will mellow your mood a bit.