Kidney Cells Make Implantable Power Source

Galactic_grub writes "New Scientist has an interesting round-up of patents related to green power technology. The ideas mentioned include an implantable power source made from stacks of kidney cells that could drive implanted devices like pacemakers, a chemical way to purifying hydrogen, a buckyball-based filter for methane fuel cells and an organism that turns grass cuttings (and other bio-waste) into ethanol."

Don't use them all together

[EmbeddedJanitor]

Green kidneys and stuffed to the eyeballs with grass mulch? No wonder this guy is sick and needs implants. He's lucky he's not dead yet.

In a subsequent patent, I claim...

[Anonymous Coward]

1. An apparatus comprising: at least one cell culture chamber wherein live neurons are maintained and grown; and a means for harnessing the thoughts and ideas generated by the live neurons, said means being connected with said neuron culture chamber, where said thoughts and ideas are used over the internet or in any electronical manner.

Mississippi ALready did it

[blhack]

an organism that turns grass cuttings (and other bio-waste) into ethanol."

So they invented moonshine producing rednecks?

Yeah but...

[j.sanchez1]

Do they run Linux?

Yes, but....

[snl2587]

will the technologies be developed in time? Or will the fuel crisis win out and send humanity to the brink of doom?

Tune in next week for the thrilling conclusion!

Oh great

[ByOhTek]

One more reason for them to steal my kidneys if I ever go to Mexico.

Re:Yeah but...

[WillAffleckUW]

Do they run Linux?

No, they're BSD. Biochemical Signal Determination.

And you better hope they have no Open Sores.

Matrix

[coppro]

1. We are getting closer and closer to functional AI.
2. Humans are a source of energy.
3. I will enjoy watching you die, Mr. Anderson

Wait... that's not how it was supposed to happen!

Matrix 4

[Anonymous Coward]

Starring Keanu Reeves as the elite-hacker Kidneyo.

Re:Don't use them all together

[Spy der Mann]

No wonder this guy is sick and needs implants. He's lucky he's not dead yet.

Yes, but after he dies, he can be turned into ethanol, too! :D

Duracell Green

[hal2814]

Duracell Green is people!

Re:Screw the fucktards with weak genes

[Anonymous Coward]

So just let the fucktards with the fucking weak genes eat god-damned fucking shit and fucking die...
Another plus of that is there will be no fucking shitdot sheeple to fucking post anymore.

GO AHEAD FUCKING FLAME AWAY OR WASTE YOUR GODDAMNED MODPOINTS FUCKTARDED SHITDOT SHEEPLE!

Translation: "People with medical problems are genetically inferior to members of the master race, like myself, so they should die out. But unfortunately this important fact will never be known, because the other slashdot users all have medical problems and don't want the Truth to be known!"

This troll seems to be new, so your trollfu has been rated on the following categories:
Batshit insanity: +10 trollfu points
Maximum moderation level: 0 (+0 trollfu)
Number of replies: 3 (+3 trollfu)
Number of non-anonymous replies: 1 (+5 trollfu)
Current moderation level: -1 (-1 trollfu)
Chance of post being mistaken for being "informative" or "insightful": none (-100 trollfu)

Final rating: -93
Comments: YUO TROLLING = AWFUL!

To improve your trollfu for next time, why not try disguising your post as a serious point about the healthcare industry? You can basically say the same things, but if you present your claims in the right way, you might trick someone into modding you up. The best trolls don't look like trolls. Try rereading some classics like ATTN: SWITCHEURS and see how they masquerade as real posts.

Summary: Fucktard

Re:Proper Ethanol

[nacturation]

The faster we switch ethanol production over to cellulose, the better.

The US should switch to adipose for an almost limitless energy supply.
 

Re:Don't use them all together

[qzjul]

he's not dead yet.

He's getting better!

Re:I wonder...

[sm62704]

No, kidney cells were patented in 1874 by I.P. Freelie.

-mcgrew [slashdot.org]