Implant a Chip in Your Head 204
vic_1066 writes "Brain chips sound pretty Orwellian, but the tech has come a long way (Soul eating registration required) in the past few years. Not that I'll be signing up anytime soon to get my head sliced open just for kicks, but if I was massively paralyzed this would be welcome news.
If you get a chance, check out Cyberkinetics Inc."
Mnemonic? (Score:5, Funny)
I would really like to regain some of my toked away memory
Re:Mnemonic? (Score:3, Funny)
Sure, why not? Just make sure you have your mnemonic kit. You know, your motion detector, data encryptor, memory doubler, mouthguard, tai-chi manual, and last, but not least, super hot ass-kickin epileptic bodyguard.
Re:Mnemonic? (Score:1)
I see that shit all the time.
You'll wind up acting like Keanu Reeves (Score:3, Funny)
And getting "miscast as someone with too much information in his head."
Brain chips huh?? (Score:1)
Re:Brain chips huh?? (Score:1)
Just remember to turn it off when you`re on acid
Re:Brain chips huh?? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Brain chips huh?? (Score:3, Funny)
What about using this for video game play? (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:What about using this for video game play? (Score:3, Informative)
Re:What about using this for video game play? (Score:3, Funny)
But were they able to win Quake III levels at nightmare setting, and take out all the terrorists in Counterstrike?
Re:What about using this for video game play? (Score:2, Informative)
Already have one, we all do. (Score:5, Funny)
Implant a Chip in Your Head
Does it act as a co-processor to the one the government puts in our heads at birth?
Don't laugh!: Using your index and middle finger feel your skull at the base where your spinal column meets your skull. Notice that little bump? Now with your middle finger pressed firmly on the bump rub it with your index finger across the bottom near your top vertebra.
Feel that hard thing move? Of course not, but I'll bet there are hundreds of geeks like you pressing two fingers against their skull at this very moment.
Re:Already have one, we all do. (Score:3, Funny)
Tonight at 5!
Thousands of lonely men wearing foil hats were found paralyzed in the basements of their parents homes today. All were found staring at the same article from the "Slashdot" website. An infamous cult leader named "grub" has been named as the primary suspect in this bizarre case.
Re:Already have one, we all do. (Score:2)
Re:Already have one, we all do. (Score:1)
Only those worthy of the chip have it.
Me neither (Score:5, Funny)
That's right, it's just disgraceful. I'll never ever sign up to get NY Time account...
Re:Me neither (Score:1)
Clicky... [oaklandtribune.com]
Sadly... (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:Sadly... (Score:1)
Into the microwave you go before you are allowed to enter my house
External memory would be nice. (Score:5, Interesting)
So far I rely on pen and paper to remember everything... I mean seriously, I have a lot of trauma in my past and the way my brain dealt with it was to just become so forgetful that I can barely remember what I did the week before.
I'd really like some safe, secure way to "back my brain up" as it were, besides filling albums with photos to job my memory.
Re:External memory would be nice. (Score:2)
To make it worse, this tech is the same as trying to look at a monitor through a sheet of paper you get a few patterns of light, enought to react on if the screen changes colour, but there's no detail.
Re:External memory would be nice. (Score:2)
Well, poop. I guess I'll have to stick with Kodak and LiveJournal for remember what my life was like a couple of months ago. =P
Re:External memory would be nice. (Score:3, Interesting)
Scenario>>
ME: Hmm, I wonder what it feels like to jump off of a cliff.
Paramedics arrive at the scene of the gruesome death.
Medic1: Oy, that's one mangled robot carcass.
Medic2: What's that clutched in his strong, metal robot ha
Re:External memory would be nice. (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:External memory would be nice. (Score:2)
Re:External memory would be nice. (Score:2)
Re:External memory would be nice. (Score:2)
Well, I have considered it, but psychological stuff is so expensive and I don't really have time even if I had insurance that would cover it... plus I'm mostly happy, I just don't have a memory for crap. Maybe if I remembered more I'd be one of those really bitter, cynical people. I just wish I could at least know what I had for lunch yesterday. ^_^
Chips and trips (Score:3, Insightful)
Sounds familiar... (Score:1)
Coming Soon: a real Six Million Dollar Man (Score:2, Interesting)
"Turning Thought Into Action"
That's the CyberKinetics catch-phrase.
CyberKinetics, the company mentioned in the article, has implanted chips into monkeys that enable them to play video games using brain waves alone.
Not only is this a miracle for paralyzed people, but I predict that brain waves will be able to control bionic arms and legs. It's only a matter of biofeedback learning and a chip capable of measuring ten or so distinct brainwave patterns.
Of course, after inflation... (Score:1)
Re:Of course, after inflation... (Score:2)
I thought about that, but with hardware costs failling through the floor, it's only a matter of time before we can all be bionic for $600,000 or so.
the implantable V-chip (Score:3, Funny)
Also for adults, the Viagra-Chip, and for Politicians, the VAccountablility chip. Working with Pfiser, the Viagra-Chip, when implanted in the adult brain, will stimulate sexual desire and promote long term erections, overcoming such things as headaches, modesty, impotence and other debilitating male problems.
The Politican version will emit a tiny negative reinforcement every time a politican attempts to lie to the public, or attempts to promote or approve of a policy in which he or she will do everything possible to avoid accountability.
Coming soon, built in GPS, public registration numbers, ATM and bank account numbers, and even a full, updated copy of your credit history. Now all you need to do is wave a wand over your head to get instant loan approval!
(The U.S. Governemt endorses the GPS/ID enabled V-Chip implant, but swears to God that they will not use it to track, monitor, or otherwise ride herd on any U.S. Citizen. They really mean it. The promise! Cross their hearts and hope to die.)
dont laugh... (Score:2)
He make the basic discovery for that technique while accidently stimulation wrong parts of the spline of a women that had a punction....
I'd get one (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I'd get one (Score:2, Funny)
Interface, Stephen Bury (Score:3, Informative)
It's also a very fun read.
Brain Chips? (Score:1, Offtopic)
Diebold (Score:1)
Brain implants are very useful! (Score:5, Funny)
personally
had my +
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PRG
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Re:Brain implants are very useful! (Score:2)
4D 61 6B 65 20 73 65 6E 73 65 20 64 61 6D 6D 69 74 21 00
Disfunction (Score:1, Funny)
Ahh...to be a handless Jedi Knight. (Score:2)
Later overheard in the Mos Eisley Cantina:
Damn Luke! You need to get you some of that!
-JT
reg free link (Score:5, Informative)
spam (Score:3, Funny)
Orwellian? (Score:5, Interesting)
Perhaps it was 1984? But as I remember it, the Party had never been able to develop a technique to discover what another human being was thinking. The inside of the human mind remained untouchable; it was the last sanctuary from their totalitarianism. Hence their reliance on propaganda and torture as cruder methods of mind control...
Re:Orwellian? (Score:1)
Orwellian, as in the future being a totalitarian state where our every action is monitored. Not, in this case, as referring to the works of Orwell.
Re:Orwellian? (Score:2)
Mind you, its been years since I read it. (1984 to be exact, my how time flies.)
Semi-OffTopic (Score:1)
Some woman gets shot in the head, and for some completely random reason, they take a Microchip from the old "KITT" car, and put it in her head, and magically, she is all better.
I just remember thinking how absurd that was, now only to see it actually happening.
Re:Semi-OffTopic (Score:1)
Add that to your resume (Score:5, Insightful)
My curiousity is when will this sort of thing become competitve enough that it will start to be asked for on job applications? When will it get to the point that it is no longer an option but a requirement in order to administer large networks?
This sort of thing is straight out of movies, like Johny Mnemonic even from role playing games like Shadowrun.
If this sort of thing comes to fruition would you have a chip installed in your head?
I know I would.
But I don't know many others that would comprimise their bodies for a career. Would you?
Re:Add that to your resume (Score:1)
It isn't soon enough for me though.
Something I am worried about, is will Microsoft have anything to do with the coding?
Imagine www.cert.org CN-0003221042011-1 Brainchip maker Screwloose has anounced a flaw in BCin() that allows malicious code to be injected into neurons. Which could lead to a denial of service or a remote admin compromise.
Proof of Concept has been made public and "script kiddies" around the world have laughed at the antics they make the admins get up to.
Re:Add that to your resume (Score:2)
Exactly. I'd feel MUCH better knowing that that bastion of mental health, RMS, was involved in hacking my brain.
Re:Add that to your resume (Score:2, Interesting)
The killer application will, as always, be sex and games. Who wouldn't want to experience fully immersive games and "recreational" programs so real you'd have to build some sort of system into it distinguish it from "reality". And mimicing reality is only the beginning, it's the unreal possibilities I want to experience in full lucidity with all my senses.
One problem is, would you dare be
Call me a purist ... (Score:2, Insightful)
Now I'm interested in one thing... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Now I'm interested in one thing... (Score:1)
Re:Now I'm interested in one thing... (Score:1)
actually (Score:2)
Serious questions re IP & ubiquitous computing (Score:1, Interesting)
If I'm able to translate and store information hot off my optic nerve, and translate and store vibrations picked up in my ear canal, could I be charged as a "Thief" or a "Pirate" for sampling a CD in a store or watching a movie in a theater, and "remembering" it with augmentation?
Gargoyle Steve Mann [wikipedia.org] had some well-documented troubles in a similar vein -
No Reg Link From Google (Score:2, Informative)
Waiting (Score:1)
So, how long until we can... (Score:1)
Forget needing special glasses to view things, why not have the chip piggy-back onto your optical nerve? Digital overlaying, all the stats you can stick on your HUD, like the first couple of pages in Ghost in the Shell 2: Man Machine Interface... sometimes it's useful being able to look at an object and automatically have a label pointing to it, identifying exactly what it is, what spee
Cyberkinetics (Score:2)
Bluetooth in your brain - psycho spam! (Score:3, Funny)
The voices in my head told me to get a bigger penis!
Re:Bluetooth in your brain - psycho spam! (Score:2)
Brings a new meaning (Score:3, Funny)
Massively Paralyzed/Parallellized (Score:1)
Am I the only one that thought of a beowolf cluster of quadriplegics? Parallelize the paralyzed!
(Is this crass enough to be modded down? Let's see
Implants. Hmm. (Score:2, Funny)
I know this is going to start a huge discussion of religion in general, but if I can save one person's soul, it's worth it.
Read Revelation 13 and 14 [shorl.com]. Take your time - this is one of the most obscure bits of the Bible that is very hard to relate to real life.
Note what happens at 13:16 - financial transactions are now dependent on some sort of mark (implant?) on the right hand or forehead.
Skip forward to 14:9, and see what the third angel says. Anyone who takes the mark is out of reach of the salva
Re:Implants. Hmm. (Score:3, Insightful)
It seems to me like first of all, it clearly speaks of a mark, not of an implant deep inside your body. Second, what it speaks of there, is about accepting the rule of the antichrist and the social/economic structure that comes with it, not about merely getting a medical implant.
As far as I know, so far noone's asking you to accept some particular government to get a simple medical imp
Hmm. (Score:3, Interesting)
Not to argue your entire post, but I would like to point out some things you said in the following paragraph, because I think that although you've read the Bible and are being (rightly) critical, you've missed the point of the verse.
As far as I know, so far noone's asking you to accept some particular government to get a simple medical implant.
Ah if life were that simple! You're right, nobody explicitly does such things, but implicitly, the consent is given. At the risk of ending this thread (!) nobod
Re:Hmm. (Score:2)
And you could even argue about the credit card number or SSN as being the mark of the beast. I can see _some_ way in which you could say they symbolize accepting the religion of money. I'm not religious, but honestly, the current rush where all that matters is making a profit _this_ _quarter_, even if it means alienating your customers and burning your bridges... well, it can't be healthy and it
Re:Implants. Hmm. (Score:2)
And, therefore, if the ramblings of a psychotic that, in your be
thanks... (Score:1)
you started my day off with a laugh, I appreciate that.
CBV
I would be willing to wager.... (Score:1)
There is some anecdotal supporting this out there that can be found with googling (mkultra, etc), but I have no direct knowledge of it, but given the normal track record of advanced designs and processes out there in those blackbudget areas,ie, "more advanced than you think",
Slight downside (and opportunity) (Score:3, Interesting)
Of course, I wonder if someone is working on a socket to which bone and skin will graft. If you can get tissue to seal around the housing for the wires, it would make it even easier for people with the implant to live normally.
Trails in 2004! (Score:3, Funny)
The END is NEAR! (Score:1, Insightful)
v-chip (Score:3, Funny)
Soul eating registration required (Score:5, Insightful)
Why therefore do people submit science stories with a link to NYT when they could just link to the source material? This is the frigging internet. You can do just as much research as the press-release-editing typewriter monkey at NYT can.
For instance, the facts in this story were reported six months ago [sciencedaily.com] on ScienceDaily [sciencedaily.com] , three months ago on Wired [wired.com] and dozens of other places that could be found in 20-30 seconds on googlage.
In summary, if you don't like NYT's registration, don't link to it. You are advertising for them.
</rant>
Re:Soul eating registration required (Score:2)
Severly disabled? (Score:2)
Flip-reverse it (Score:2)
A speaker can be used as a microphone. A microphone can be used as a speaker.
Should add some interest to the thread eh?
Carpal tunnel be gone! (Score:4, Interesting)
To say nothing of having an imbeded PDA in my head reminding me of appointments I'm missing.
What I *really* want is image recognition tied into my vision so I can instantly remember the name anyone I've ever seen before.
Welcome to the shadows, chummer (Score:4, Funny)
If the US Department of Defense incorporates and starts handing out business cards, or kids start getting born with pointy ears, I'm moving to New Zealand.
-Carolyn
Re:Welcome to the shadows, chummer (Score:2)
Re:Welcome to the shadows, chummer (Score:2)
Nobody remebers 'seeing' this in wired? (Score:2, Interesting)
"A half century of artificial-sight research has succeeded. And now this blind man can see."
The patient lost his sight to accidents. By inserting brain implants and connecting them to cameras he can 'see' well enough to drive again. The dataflow direction is reversed but the implementation is the same.
Time will tell (Score:2, Interesting)
Holding out (Score:5, Funny)
Then I'll kick some serious butt on Jeopardy.
would you want a Microsoft OS in your head? (Score:2)
I suspect that we'll need to seriously rethink systems software to make these things really useful. My guess is that the first real applications of this sort of thing will be extending people's memorization capability and ability to do mathematical calculations of various sorts.
To put the value of these into perspective, FDR had a man that travelled with him wh
Not again... (Score:3, Insightful)
Such phrasing is apparently all it takes to get something like this into
"First clinical trials planned for 2004."
They don't even know if it'll work. And if it does, these things are no more Orwellian than a joystick. RTFA and then act like you did, and stop submitting/releasing ScienceFUD. If you need a fix of Brain Eating Monsters, go turn on SciFi Channel or something.
'Holy' crap!!! (Score:2)
I know I am going to be ridiculed, but isn't chipping [surfingtheapocalypse.net] something of a hot topic lately ?
(tin foil hat ready to be served sir! eat here or take away ?) :-)
Re:Aha! (Score:2)
Re:if only.. (Score:2)
It finds logins for all sorts of sites (there's even a
Make any woman.. (Score:1)
Re:Make any woman.. (Score:1, Funny)
Of course, Alcohol is the slightly lower tech version...But it still works.
Re:RFID and Cellphones (Score:1)
um... (Score:2, Insightful)
So you want the brain power of a mouse, or maybe a grasshopper?
Dare to dream dude.