Mind Over Machine

Mind Over Machine 331

Posted by michael on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:20PM from the ultimate-laziness dept.

broKenfoLd writes "Monkeys moving robotic arms by manipulating a cursor on a computer screen, simply by thinking about it? Mice who cause their water tube to dispense some refreshing H2O just by wishing it? Signal processing and decoding has long been a dream of Matrix fans and lazy system administrators for years, and science is amazingly keeping up! Popular Science's Carl Zimmer has written a fascinating piece documenting recent progress in decoding brain signals and interpreting commands issued from thoughts alone. If you heard a single violin playing Beethoven's 5th, you would be able to tell what piece of music was being played even though the rest of the orchestra was not heard. In the same way, by monitoring a relatively few neurons, computers can recognize patterns and allow programming based on these patterns to say, know if a mouse is thinking about pushing his water lever. You can pass the time waiting for Matrix-style video games and motionless system adminstration/utilization by reading the full article."

Mind Over Machine

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Channel surfing (Score:5, Funny)

by Dashing Leech ( 688077 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:21PM (#8409970)

But can it be used for channel surfing. That's the ultimate goal.

Useful... (Score:2, Funny)

by ackthpt ( 218170 ) * writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:22PM (#8409981) Homepage Journal

computers can recognize patterns and allow programming based on these patterns to say, know if a mouse is thinking about pushing his water lever.
Sounds like an old joke we shared around the IT dept about 20 years ago related to 'anticipatory paging', why not anticipatory programming. Hmm. Useful
This could save some of the

effort [umd.edu] of heavy lifting of that axe or driving that nail.

"after the nth time the process failed I gave the computer such a look that the software uninstalled itself, the harddrive crashed and the O/s committed suicide."

Just don't forget one thing! (Score:5, Funny)

by Bendebecker ( 633126 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:23PM (#8409989) Journal

Monsters, John! Monsters... from the id!

This could be bad... (Score:5, Funny)

by jhouserizer ( 616566 ) * writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:23PM (#8409991) Homepage

Can you imagine what might happen when a "hottie" walks though the office?

We have that already. (Score:5, Funny)

by tktk ( 540564 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:23PM (#8409992)

...motionless system adminstration/utilization...
I call it sleeping.

Not such a big deal (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:23PM (#8409993)

My water tube can dispense a refreshing H20-based substance just by wishing.

Maybe the Should Rename Magazine... (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:23PM (#8409996)

from Popular Science to Crazy as Hell Science.

Well (Score:0, Funny)

by Rupan ( 723469 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:25PM (#8410022) Homepage

I, for one, welcome our machine overlords. Welcome to the Source!

Wow, Me Too! (Score:5, Funny)

by MooseByte ( 751829 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:25PM (#8410024)

"Mice who cause their water tube to dispense some refreshing H2O just by wishing it?"
Uncanny! Just this morning I caused by "water tube" to dispense liquid just by wishing it too!

Re:Channel surfing (Score:3, Funny)

by Hooya ( 518216 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:27PM (#8410050) Homepage

but the TV would be stuck on the p0rn channel. if you've got a wife, LOOK OUT!!

ai (Score:2, Funny)

by maxbang ( 598632 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:27PM (#8410051) Journal

They're talking about reverse engineering the brain - it would be pretty sweet, but one hell of a task to filter through all the activity and figure out what signal meant what, combinations, etc. I'm sure an Altair is all you would need to reverse engineer my brain. You'd flip maybe ten switches, tops.

Ok, that should be SUV... (Score:2, Funny)

by bad enema ( 745446 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:29PM (#8410070)

Not SCV...Damn Starcraft.

Re:Say it all with me now... (Score:5, Funny)

by ImaNumber ( 754512 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:30PM (#8410080)

The best part is that this computer can be mass produced with unskilled labor!

Re:This could be bad... (Score:5, Funny)

by FooGoo ( 98336 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:30PM (#8410081)

all the CD drives prematurely eject?

Maybe in the future... (Score:5, Funny)

by BW_Nuprin ( 633386 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:30PM (#8410086)

...we'll be able to RTFA just by thinking about it!
But that would require thinking, and that hurts :(

Re:Channel surfing (Score:2, Funny)

by rusty0101 ( 565565 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:30PM (#8410087) Homepage Journal

Here I though the idea was to make it possible to force 1000 monkeys to type more continuously.

We have got to see if Shakespear was better than 1000 monkeys don't we?

Re:This could be bad... (Score:3, Funny)

by ackthpt ( 218170 ) * writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:31PM (#8410099) Homepage Journal

Can you imagine what might happen when a "hottie" walks though the office?
What? Outlook automatically downloads all youre V1@gr@ spam onto your drive for your perusal?

Re:umm.. not just yet. (Score:5, Funny)

by millahtime ( 710421 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:31PM (#8410100) Homepage Journal

"but if you tried to walk with 95% accuracy"

95% is better than me and my friends after a night out onthe town and we make it home ok. 95% is pretty good betting odds, too.

Re:Useful... (Score:3, Funny)

by Tablizer ( 95088 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:32PM (#8410114) Journal

why not anticipatory programming

THEN x = 3
IF x == uninitializedValue

I'm thinking... (Score:2, Funny)

by kyshtock ( 608605 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:33PM (#8410125)

1. I'm thinking to secure the server/firewall/whatever... Zzzzzt! done!
2. I'm thinking I deserve a raise. Zzzzt! agreed.
Idiot! 3. I'm thinking I'll have myself a raise. Zzzzt... done.
4. I'm thinking that the leggy busty blonde wants visit my bed tonite...Zzzzt!
5. I'm thinking I should you all leave think. Zzzzt!.. !@#RTA [NO CARRIER]

Doesn't the guy from Amazon... (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:34PM (#8410134)

...have a patent on thinking about stuff? Might cramp the market for such devices.

Re:umm.. not just yet. (Score:2, Funny)

by ackthpt ( 218170 ) * writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:35PM (#8410153) Homepage Journal

the best of these kind of devices (devloped in nasa labs) can only do 95% accuracy.
Well, so they claim, it's a robot that just appeared one day and keeps complaining about this horrible pain in all the diodes down its left side.

Re:This could be bad... (Score:5, Funny)

by bluGill ( 862 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:36PM (#8410155)

Interesting question. I love questions like this that we can debate, secure in the knowledge that we will never find out the real answer. Eventually we will find out what it is like to have this working, but we geeks will never find out what it is like to have a "hottie" walk though the office.
Congratulations, you have posed the perfect open ended question.

Re:This could be bad... (Score:0, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:39PM (#8410185)

I suspect her anti-leering shields will activate.

I Wish (Score:2, Funny)

by RetroGeek ( 206522 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:40PM (#8410207) Homepage

Singing to self: "I wish I was an Oscar Myers wiener"

P O O F !

Re:I don't think it will ever be like in the movie (Score:5, Funny)

by kfg ( 145172 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:47PM (#8410269)

But a rat's mind is way simpler.

Allow me to introduce you to our management team.

KFG

Re:Channel surfing (Score:5, Funny)

by spectecjr ( 31235 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:48PM (#8410278) Homepage

but the TV would be stuck on the p0rn channel. if you've got a wife, LOOK OUT!!

The trick is to marry someone who enjoys watching porn with you. It's not that hard; if I can do it, anyone can.

Re:Cell Phone (Score:0, Funny)

by memco ( 721915 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:50PM (#8410293) Journal

I sure hope we're not "plugged in". A lot of companies are investing in some new technology called wireless or something. It may just be the wave of the future!

As his cat goes up in flames... (Score:3, Funny)

by bobdotorg ( 598873 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:51PM (#8410307)

As his cat goes up in flames...

No!!! God dammit!!! I thought a BUD LIGHT!!!

I'm thinking of.... (Score:5, Funny)

by weeboo0104 ( 644849 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:52PM (#8410315) Journal

FIRST POST! FIRST POST!

(Damn, didn't work)

Natalie Portman in my cube.

(Nope, still doesn't work)

I want to be overworked and overpaid, but still have time to surf slashdot from work.

(Woohoo! It works!)

Re:This could be bad... (Score:3, Funny)

by lcsjk ( 143581 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:52PM (#8410316)

So that explains all that spam! Wait, I can't feel the wires. They must have used wireless devices! Help, I'm not sure if this is really me!

Re:We have that already. (Score:3, Funny)

by raider_red ( 156642 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:56PM (#8410353) Journal

I call it working for a government agency. (Before you accuse me of trolling, I am working for a government agency.)

Re:This could be bad... (Score:5, Funny)

by elbarrio ( 592330 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:59PM (#8410380)

ahhh.... you obviously have never worked on the same floor as HR. ;)

Re:Well (Score:2, Funny)

by Zcipher ( 756241 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @03:07PM (#8410448)

I, for one, welcome our machine overlords.

Or, more accurately, "I, for one, welcome our new monkey-controlled robot overlords."

Remember, the first rule of comedy: Monkeys are funny. The second rule of comedy? Anything that is funny can be made more so by the addition of monkeys.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled /., already in progress.

Re:Not such a big deal (Score:1, Funny)

by StarfishOne ( 756076 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @03:08PM (#8410461)

that sounds quite disturbing to me somehow...

Re:Channel surfing (Score:5, Funny)

by lcsjk ( 143581 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @03:08PM (#8410472)

What's his name?

Re:Channel surfing (Score:3, Funny)

by SEE ( 7681 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @03:11PM (#8410489) Homepage

Please. This is /. The only wives we have are from here. [realdoll.com]

Re:Channel surfing (Score:5, Funny)

by tanguyr ( 468371 ) writes: <tanguyr+slashdot@gmail.com> on Friday February 27, 2004 @03:19PM (#8410598) Homepage

i'm thinking real hard of modding you +1 funny. let me know how it works out.

Re:Channel surfing (Score:5, Funny)

by Tackhead ( 54550 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @03:25PM (#8410671)

> > Nice try, but women don't enjoy porn. They've got this thing with emotional bonding and sensible family life.
>
> Nice try, but I know several women who do enjoy porn. You're just not getting to know the right women.
Or he's not showing them the right pr0n. (This is Slashdot, after all.)

Is it time for ... ClippyXP? (Score:5, Funny)

by ggvaidya ( 747058 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @03:26PM (#8410692) Homepage Journal

"You are thinking of typing a letter ... "
Pleeeeeeease don't let MS get their hands on this one, mister!

I thong ot well be cool! (Score:5, Funny)

by rjelks ( 635588 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @03:36PM (#8410818) Homepage

I can't waid two get this of my home computer. I hoop is works is goat as me speak recondition program!

-

I had a machine like this once... (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @03:56PM (#8411055)

I wished for a glass of high-proof whiskey and got it, but then spilled it on my shirt. I wished for a sponge to clean it up, but the machine gave me a lit cigarette instead. After I got out of the hospital, I sold it.

Re:Cell Phone (Score:3, Funny)

by ZackSchil ( 560462 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @03:56PM (#8411057)

Well, there is pre-speech thought and there is conceptual thought. Aside from sounding like a jumblefuck of absolute nonsense, if any conceptual thought slipped into your little mental cellphone, you might have some trouble on your hands.

"No mom, I haven't filled out the job application yet!fuckingshitfilledpieceofdeathuselesskillhatrid noneedjobgetweedsmoke"

"What the HELL was that you were thinking?!"

"Umm.. ahh, I think the electrodes are malfunctioning... wait... uhh, hold on, you're breaking up. I have to go bitchlifesuckingcun...." [transmission has ended]

Re:Is this a troll? (Score:4, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @04:14PM (#8411260)

I'd like to see a simple switch based on brain activity that would toggle on during sexual thought/arousal and toggle off in the absence of that

I believe its called a penis my friend.

Re:Channel surfing (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @04:19PM (#8411299)

The trick is to marry someone who enjoys watching porn with you. It's not that hard
Can't be very exciting porn then....

Re:This is all cool, but... (Score:3, Funny)

by Psmylie ( 169236 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @04:25PM (#8411350) Homepage

"If an alien civilization / being came to visit it us, would it talk to a person, or would it talk to Google via posting websites?"

Actually, this is more or less true. The X-10 ad pop-ups were an invasion that we just barely managed to fight off with penis-enlargement spam.

Re:Channel surfing (Score:3, Funny)

by Wintergrey ( 756240 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @04:41PM (#8411491)

Sign of the Apocalypse #39952:
Intelligent, insightful relationship advice regarding women on /.
(Hold me, I'm scared...)

Something's wrong (Score:4, Funny)

by A nonymous Coward ( 7548 ) * writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @05:06PM (#8411703)

It's not that hard

Then what's the point? Especially when married?

In my job, I practice with this everyday (Score:3, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @05:06PM (#8411715)

"motionless system adminstration"

Yip.

Re:Channel surfing (Score:2, Funny)

by El_Ehmenopio ( 701830 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @06:10PM (#8412271)

I'll drink to that. But a better trick is marrying someone who enjoys MAKEING porn with you.

There may be more comments in this discussion. Without JavaScript enabled, you might want to turn on Classic Discussion System in your preferences instead.

Channel surfing (Score:5, Funny)

Useful... (Score:2, Funny)

Just don't forget one thing! (Score:5, Funny)

This could be bad... (Score:5, Funny)

We have that already. (Score:5, Funny)

Not such a big deal (Score:5, Funny)

Maybe the Should Rename Magazine... (Score:1, Funny)

Well (Score:0, Funny)

Wow, Me Too! (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Channel surfing (Score:3, Funny)

ai (Score:2, Funny)

Ok, that should be SUV... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Say it all with me now... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:This could be bad... (Score:5, Funny)

Maybe in the future... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Channel surfing (Score:2, Funny)

Re:This could be bad... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:umm.. not just yet. (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Useful... (Score:3, Funny)

I'm thinking... (Score:2, Funny)

Doesn't the guy from Amazon... (Score:1, Funny)

Re:umm.. not just yet. (Score:2, Funny)

Re:This could be bad... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:This could be bad... (Score:0, Funny)

I Wish (Score:2, Funny)

Re:I don't think it will ever be like in the movie (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Channel surfing (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Cell Phone (Score:0, Funny)

As his cat goes up in flames... (Score:3, Funny)

I'm thinking of.... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:This could be bad... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:We have that already. (Score:3, Funny)

Re:This could be bad... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Well (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Not such a big deal (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Channel surfing (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Channel surfing (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Channel surfing (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Channel surfing (Score:5, Funny)

Is it time for ... ClippyXP? (Score:5, Funny)

I thong ot well be cool! (Score:5, Funny)

I had a machine like this once... (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Cell Phone (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Is this a troll? (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Channel surfing (Score:1, Funny)

Re:This is all cool, but... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Channel surfing (Score:3, Funny)

Something's wrong (Score:4, Funny)

In my job, I practice with this everyday (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Channel surfing (Score:2, Funny)

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