Nissan Adds Robot Helper To Its Concept Car

narramissic writes "Nissan has mounted a robot passenger in the dashboard of its Pivo2 concept car whose job is to keep the driver happy, give spot-on directions, and even check your e-mail. 'We have data that happy drivers' accident rates are drastically lower than depressed ones, so this robot stays there to make sure the driver is happy always,' said Masato Inoue, chief designer at Nissan's exploratory design group, in an interview at the Motor Show. 'This guides the driver and sometimes cheers up the driver. For example, if the driver is irritated it might say 'Hey, you look somehow angry. Why? Please calm down.'' Other features of this vehicle include a cabin that can turn through 360 degrees so you never have to worry about looking behind when you back up and wheels that can twist 90 degrees, eliminating the need to parallel park." The article includes a video of the car talking to the driver, which is kind of adorable in a 'future is now' sorta way.

GLaDOS is your friend...trust me!

From the i-don't-trust-glados-with-a-stick-shift department

Nah, GLaDOS is OK. Just don't throw her ethics module into a fire and you should be fine.

Re:GLaDOS is your friend...trust me!

Do you remember the time I tried to get you to turn the wrong way down a busy one way street and you were all "NO WAY!" and I was like "only kidding!" That was great.

Clippy

I see you're trying to parallel park. Can I assist you? Hey, now you like kinda angry. Please calm down. Count to ten. Wait! What are you doing?! Don't throw me out the window! Wait! Hey! Help!!!!

Beep

"R2! We lost number two cupholder! See if you can't lock it down!"

Re:Beep

Um ... the car's cupholders ain't for number two.

Hmm..

>'Hey, you look somehow angry. Why? Please calm down'
It was shortly afterwards the robot was punched into pieces and thrown out the window.

ugh

You know, you've had a terrible day at work, fought with your wife, got pissed because of some other bad news, then you get into your car to drive home, and this robot goes "Hi! The sun is shining! Everybody is haaappyyy! Smmiiiile!"

That's not what it's for

> then you get into your car to drive home, and this robot goes "Hi! The sun is shining!"

And now imagine how great it would feel to slug it.

The ride home from work....

Dave: Hi Car.

Car: Hello Dave.

Dave: Let's go home. I had a really bad day at work today.

Car: What can I do to make you happy?

Dave: How about a blow job on the way home.

Car: I'm not that kind of car Dave.

Dave: You do want to mak

Piss you off

I'm guessing 9 times out of 10 this will make someone angrier then they already were. Although at least they won't be depressed!

Oblig. HHGTTG Quote

Hi there! This is Eddie your car computer and I just know I'm going to get a kick out of anything you want to do today. Share and enjoy!

Re:Oblig. HHGTTG Quote

"impact minus 10 seconds, it's been great knowing you guys... As you walk through the storm hold your head up high...."

Hmmm, I'm not sure about that.

Re:Piss you off

"door is open", "fasten your seatbelt", "handbrake on"

Okay, I can completely sympathize, but if you routinely drive around without your seatbelt, a door open, and the handbrake engaged, I think you have some more important things to worry about.

*Zzzzzt* -Why master, why?

You can talk to this one, and it responds. There is room here for great use. Let me *borrow* from some other posts:

• Every time I step into my car, it should try to gauge my mood and normally it should tell me a joke. Jokes get categorized by the personality types that find them funny, so most times, when I get into my car, it has something witty to say that I appreciate.
• If I'm in a foul mood, it knows the right way to respond. For me, that means no jokes and just a short pithy saying in the tone that one would associate with Batman's butler.
• If I'm not in a better mood within a couple minutes, it should offer further mood improvement options, based on my tendencies:
  1. If Sir cares for a stoogie, there is a convenience store that sells cigars just to your right in one mile.
  2. Sir might be interested to know there is an electronics store just two miles south of here.
  3. There is a gentleman's club ahead with free steak buffet and cheap liquor. If your majesty cares to indulge, I should be glad to send your bank a request to hold funds beyond $200 this evening and arrange for a cab to pick you up.
  4. The Duke of Earl might be interested to know that his weed supplier Kevin is still out on bond this week. Perhaps I should ring him for you?
• Finally, there should be a little red button beside the hand break. When I press the button the robot should react as if being electrocuted. Short bursts should produce short whimpers then complaint. Longer bursts should produce howls mingled with sobbing and begging. A really long burst should produce incoherent screaming followed by lights out, no movement and no sound (simulated death.) Bonus points if the robot can simulate the voice of people I've talked to on the phone and answer to their name.

Sick? Twisted? Maybe, but I suspect it would do wonders for my mood.

Disclaimer: No, these are not really my tendencies

Ridin Shotgun

Man this thing might cheer you up for a little while, but the novelty will quickly wear off, especially after you realize how much money you spent on your robot co-pilot.

Japanese

This seems to be a feature of Japanese (and Chinese) technology, the idea of enforced 'happiness'. Smiling faces everywhere, bright colours garish colours and features. Perhaps this has only limited cultural relevance in the international market?

Pivo?

Isn't 'pivo' how you say 'uh oh' in Russian? (I tried to find a copy of the Sealab 2021 'uh oh' song online, but I can't now.)

The cab that rotates is neat, but it seems it would be easier to just turn the car around than bother spinning the whole cab, driving out, then spinning it back. The tires are neat, but if you have a problem with the mechanism, I bet it's a bitch to find a mechanic that can fix it without charging an arm and a leg.

Neat car, but I'm betting it stays 'concept' for quite a long time.

Happy drivers are safer

By the way, did they check happiness before or after accidents? I guess drivers who got home will be happier than those who had an accident..

Been done

Did no one learn anything from Clippy?

Cybersex

Ok, so how far exactly is this robot willing to go to keep me happy?

New ad slogan:

"He's your plastic dashboard pal who's fun to be with!"

Chris Mattern

redundant

the car has a square footprint and the wheels turn through 90deg, by extension it should be trivial to turn the whole car on the spot, so why bother making the cabin independently movable?

Electric Cars

Another motor show, another concept car with useless features. Has anyone noticed that these concept cars mostly never see the day on the road? I'd like to see these electric cars for sale but without the ridiculous design. Can't they just make a normal electric car? It's more like there is a consipiracy or something that the automakers continue to churn out these concept cars that no ordinary people will be willing to buy.

I can't believe these companies waste so much money on developing hybrids, fuel cells, etc. but don't sell just a simple electric car with better batteries. There's no way the amount of energy generated from a vehicle would be more efficient than by power utility companies. If they are really serious about saving the environment as they claim, they must sell electric cars.

I dont need a machine to make me happy...

...when I drive. I NEED a machine to man the chain gun so I can concentrate on maneuvering.

Re:

Have a nice day!