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Cars that Can't Crash? 921
johnsee writes "Microsoft is working with Ford Motor Co towards car that can't crash. The future of cars according to Gates will involve high-definition screens, speech recognition technology, cameras, digital calendars and navigation equipment with directions and road conditions." From the article: "Also on Friday, Microsoft unveiled its Performance Peak Initiative -- a line of computer systems to help the auto industry better coordinate supply chains, streamline design, production and sales and fill vehicles with computer gadgets."
And the winner is... (Score:5, Funny)
Microsoft is working with Ford Motor Co towards car that can't crash.
Re:And the winner is... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:And the winner is... (Score:5, Funny)
That crash really would be a blue screen of death.
Re:And the winner is... (Score:4, Funny)
The problem is, even if this decreases crashes by 99%, the first time the technology does fail and there is a crash, think of the law suits...
Read the EULA. Forget the lawsuits. You should not have used the software for any critical application and agreed to indemnify the maker by starting the car.
Re:And the winner is... (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:And the winner is... (Score:3, Informative)
I doubt the court will be impressed with what is written on page 87 of a EULA that the driver supposedly agreed to by turning the ignition key.
Are we both talking about the same Microsoft that bought off the DOJ? The same Microsoft that was convicted of monopolistic abuses but was still allowed to compete, and was even preferred, for federal contracts because of a presidential order rescinding a previous Executive Order? The Microsoft that has way more pull with the government and courts than Ford or F
And the winner is... (Score:5, Funny)
Sounds like peril sensitive sunglasses [hhgproject.org]
In other news... (Score:5, Funny)
Ford stock crashes on fears of new Microsoft car models.
I can see it now... (Score:5, Funny)
After making a second consecutive right turn, Clippy appears. "It seems like you're turning. Would you like help about this topic?" You say no.
AutoFormat kicks in, causing your car to automatically turn right at every intersection. You manage to get rid of that, but now every time you try to turn left the steering wheel is AutoCorrect'ed to the right.
You finally just let the car drive you wherever while you listen to MSN radio. You don't get where you wanted to go, but at least you didn't crash.
Re:I can see it now... (Score:5, Funny)
That fits with Microsoft's new slogan change from "Where do you want to go today?" to "You're coming with us!"
Where do you want to go today? - TM (Score:5, Funny)
CLIPPY: Sorry, I don't understand your input, Shell Gas?
Re:"Merge onto I-5 HAL" "Sorry Dave, I can't do th (Score:3, Informative)
There is reportedly at least one exception: loose gravel. On a gravel road, locking up the wheels will stop the car faster than ABS. One of the earliest cars with ABS (a Mercedes) had an override switch to disable ABS, for this exact reason.
However, there's a trade-off: you lose steering if the front wheels are locked. Depending on the situation, an longer stopping distance on a gravel would be p
Re:"Merge onto I-5 HAL" "Sorry Dave, I can't do th (Score:3, Insightful)
I have in fact nearly been been killed due to the effect of having two tires sand and two tires on pavement after a snow cleared and the road was dry. The brakes refused to engage because they asumed I was doing something stupid.
There is also an intersection in my town that many cars fail to stop at (it has a stop sign) because surface irregul
Re:Can you explain that to my wife? (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Can you explain that to my wife? (Score:3, Informative)
Crappy ABS will allow you to keep steering authority no matter how much you hammer the brake pedal, and that's the main point of it. However, it is reasonable to believe that any given ABS implementation is not going to give you the best possible stopping distance.
I've had the opportunity to drive a wide variety of vehicles, and I have a habit of testing the ABS just for kicks. Some are too quick to release brake pressure, well before you'd l
Re:And the winner is... (Score:3, Funny)
And the loser is... (Score:5, Funny)
This is the scariest thing I have ever seen.
Perhaps the Dept of Homeland Security should notify the president that Microsoft and Ford are working on WMDs!
Re:And the loser is... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:And the loser is... (Score:4, Funny)
So would that mean a Pinto based on this technology could be called the Ford Exploder?
Thanks! I'll be here all week. Try the veal.
Re:And the loser is... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:And the winner is... (Score:3, Funny)
1. Profit!
2. Cars that don't crash.
3. Software that doesn't crash.
Microsoft's "crazy like a fox" reverse scheme...
Re:And the winner is... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:And the winner is... (Score:5, Funny)
Happy to give it a try (Score:3, Interesting)
My thoughts exactly. As soon as you move things, there's a chance something will go wrong. Shit happens.
But... You do realize that the (human) driver is one of the failure points? Frankly I'd be happy to get into a car and have the driving done for me. So I could enjoy the landscape, read a book, or have fun with other passengers. Or be able to drive drunk, without risking the lives of other people.
When or how? When the technology has shown to be safe
Re:And the winner is... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:And the winner is... (Score:5, Funny)
Driver calling tech support...
Driver: I need some help, my car won't start.
Tech Support: sounds like a driver problem.
Driver: Hey, fsck you!!! I know how to start the damn car!
Tech Support: No sir, I mean the driver for Windows.
Driver: Oh, ok, sorry. Yeah, my kid is always screwing the damn windows. Up and down, up and down. I'll let you talk to him.
Tech Support: Thank you sir, that would be easier for all of us.
I rebooted my truck last month (Score:5, Interesting)
Just a few weeks ago my wife and I were leaving a restaurant's parking lot after dinner and the engine was running really rough. I mean really, really rough, and this truck has always run fine before. It coughed and it gasped, and the power was just not there. I stopped and started the engine, but it still continued to run rough. I got maybe a half mile down the road when I realized I wasn't even going to make it home.
I pulled to the shoulder, and was going to phone my son to come pick us up when I said "hey, what happens if I reboot this thing?" So I turned off the engine, let it sit totally dark for about five seconds, then started it up. It started right up and took off, no problems, no choking, no gasping.
A cold reboot fixed my truck.
And now Microsoft wants them to run WINDOWS on this thing? Words fail me.
The favourite of GNU people everywhere... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The favourite of GNU people everywhere... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:And the winner is... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:And the winner is... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:And the winner is... (Score:5, Funny)
>
>Microsoft is working with Ford Motor Co towards car that can't crash.
They also get infinite mileage.
In theory, it's like what happens when you take a cat, and strap a piece of toast to its back, buttered-side up. Wrap some wires and magnets around it and launch it into low-earth orbit. As long as there's carpet on the floor of the spacecraft, the cat will spin and generate power indefinitely. You can do this with less than six pounds of butter per year.
Don't try prototyping this. Just about everywhere from ten feet up and low earth orbit, you end up with something that works like the opposite of the Schrodinger's Cat experiment; the waveforms always end up pretty firmly collapsed.
Come to think of it, "Don't try prototyping this" applies just as well to the buttered-cat perpetual mostion experiment as well to the Microsoft car.
Re:And the winner is... (Score:5, Funny)
Damnit, this is the first place I've seen this documented. I'm soo sorry, Fluffy 1 thru 4, Princess, little Garfield, and Mittens.
You died for science. No one told me I needed orbital capability.
Re:And the winner is... (Score:5, Insightful)
Safest Vehicle ever (Score:5, Funny)
unfortunately due to a restrictive EULA you will not be permitted to sell it once you've used it, and you can be arrested for opening the hood.
Re:Safest Vehicle ever (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Safest Vehicle ever (Score:5, Funny)
Also, make sure you don't change too much of your hardware. If you change your oil, hope you don't get a flat tire because that will be too many hardware changes and you will need to reactivate. If you can't get to an Internet-enabled Windows PC, you can call their toll-free customer service hotline and speak to a representative about reactivation and the Microsoft Genuine Advantage.
Oh yeah, almost forgot - make sure you scan your entire car for spyware every time you go to a gas station. You never know when a purple monkey is going to try to sell you toothpaste while you are driving.
Re:And the winner is... (Score:5, Funny)
Ford's Pinto division is working with NASA towards shuttles that don't explode.
Re:And the winner is... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:And the winner is... (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Get your bets in now! (Score:3, Funny)
Depends on the buffer overflow...
nah (Score:4, Funny)
"where do you want to go today"?
What do you mean by redundant? (Score:5, Funny)
That makes me wonder though, how many duplicate posts will we see in this thread?
Re:What do you mean by redundant? (Score:5, Funny)
Funny you should say that...twice! (Score:5, Funny)
Can't Crash? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Don't Worry (Score:3, Funny)
No problem! Your new MSFord will have a new one built into it!
The Peak Performance Initiative press release [microsoft.com] also states:
It will also "Drive Efficiency and Innovation Across the Manufacturing Value Chain." When I figure out what a Manufacturing Value Chain is, I'
What about an OS which "can not crash"??? (Score:5, Funny)
Paul B.
What about someone else for a change?? (Score:5, Insightful)
I've seen the car of the future in countless sci-fi movies and books already! But, hey, if Gates says it, then for sure it must be right around the corner. Ho hum..
God help us all if these are the things to come. In fact, I prefer my technology to
Even my first-gen iPod still works! I dunno, I'm past the disliking Gates and his empire and now I'm just sick of him telling everyone what the future's gonna be and the fact that Microsoft's gonna get you there.
Hang it up man, hang it up.
Cue jokes... (Score:5, Funny)
Huh???? (Score:2)
????
I'm speechless, I really am.
my head... (Score:5, Funny)
can't crash...
must... make... joke... before head explodes...
Re:my head... (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:my head... (Score:4, Funny)
The jokes write themselves (Score:2)
If Microsoft Made Cars... (Score:2)
http://www.usd.edu/~bwjames/humor/ms/microsoftcar
If the Open Source Community made Cars (Score:3, Funny)
1. There would be multiple distributors of free cars, though all would be spurned by the commercial auto industry.
2. If you want to change your tires you have to download all the most recent parts and rebuild your engine.
3. Upon building a new car you would find that your new windshield wipers are not yet supported.
4. You could build your own windshield wipers if you really, really wanted to.
5. Sourceforge would release a wrapper to allow you to retrofit M
Old Joke (Score:5, Funny)
Bill Gates wanted to look good and impress everyone with his success. He decided to measure the accomplishments of Microsoft against General Motors. The comparison went like this:
If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades, you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. (160,000km/hr)
Or you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds (14 kilos) and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50.
In response to all this goading, GM issued a press release stating the following: "If GM had developed technology like Microshaft has, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics:"
Re:Old Joke (Score:5, Informative)
The 2005 BMW 760i has a 'Start' button you must press (along with a transponder you insert into a slot) to start and stop the car [theautochannel.com]. So does the Lexus Gs 430 [msn.com] as do some Mercedes and Toyotas.
Re:Old Joke (Score:3, Funny)
A few questions (Score:5, Funny)
Will I have to pay yearly license fees to drive my car, or will it just one day swerve off the road if I let my licenses lapse? Can they catch a virus from neighboring cars at the parking lot? Will it come with Clippy? "Hello! you seem to be flying off the roadaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh" (car flies off road, rolls, and catches on fire).
Must resist urge to make bluescreenofdeath jokes.....
Ahh, but (Score:5, Funny)
hawk
Re:Ahh, but (Score:3, Interesting)
Because you're right, they'd defintiely try and disclaim all responsiblity for anything bad happening, but there is NO WAY that would fly in the auto industry...we have a long history of suing them to bits when something breaks.
The first time a MS car's cruise control screws up and plows someone into a Semi at 100 miles an hour their little fantasy world of "It's not
this is a set-up right? (Score:3, Insightful)
How do they lead to fewer crashes? (Score:5, Insightful)
That's nice and all, but how will these technologies help cars to 'not crash'? It seems like a digital calendar will lead to more crashes.
Driver: "Car! I said DON"T CRASH! DON'T CRASH!"
Re:How do they lead to fewer crashes? (Score:3, Funny)
"Ooooh! Quick honey, look at this really cool instrument panel screensaver that some nice man named "4@X0r-4-d3@th" sent us from Thailand!"
"I can't really look right now sweetie, I'm trying to merge...Hey! That's wicked cool!
The only car that can't crash... (Score:4, Insightful)
If you put them on real rails, (Score:5, Insightful)
Um...can't...crash? (Score:3, Interesting)
Enjoy the BSOD of Halo 2 [flickr.com]
Simple, low tech ways to prevent car crashes. (Score:5, Insightful)
1. Breaks
2. Steering wheel
3. Side mirrors
4. Don't speed
5. Don't drink while drunk or high
6. Use your turn signal
7. Leave enough space between your car and the car in front of you.
8. Check over your shoulder to look in the blind spot before making a lane change.
9. Be considerate of other drivers.
10. Don't drive in LA.
And a bonus 11th point to feed the trolls:
11. Revoke the drivers licenses for anyone with 3 serious tickets in the last 5 years.
Re:Simple, low tech ways to prevent car crashes. (Score:4, Funny)
5. Don't drink while drunk or high
You're tellin' me. Every time I do that I wake up next to someone ghastly.
Re:Simple, low tech ways to prevent car crashes. (Score:5, Funny)
I never drink when I'm drunk or high, I only drink when sober
Enjoy,
Re:Simple, low tech ways to prevent car crashes. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Simple, low tech ways to prevent car crashes. (Score:3, Funny)
You forgot #12... don't post while drunk or high.
That's some bad advice. (Score:3, Interesting)
Look over your shoulder for as long as it takes you to determine it's safe to make a lane change. Count how long that was. 1 second ?
Remember that value.
Now, driving along in traffic with a speed and following distance you'd normally have, close your eyes for that amount of time.
Can you? Does it feel safe? Why not?
If you need to look over your shoulder, your mirrors are not properly adjusted. I have most of my cars with the mirrors set to just the
Maybe after that... (Score:5, Funny)
Oh wait.
Microsoft jokes aside.... (Score:5, Informative)
google IVHS (intelligent vehicle highway system) for starters.
Not the Microsoft would be my first choice to design mass-produced life-threatening embedded systems.
The irony is that it can be done today. (Score:3, Informative)
http://faculty.washington.edu/~jbs/itrans/PRT/ [washington.edu]
Cameras? (Score:5, Insightful)
What would stop a car, trying to avoid a potential accident, from steering itself off the side of a cliff?
And what about choices that real people may have to decide. If I lost control of my car and the options were
1) Attempt to crash into brick wall
2) Attempt to crash into side of a hill
3) Do nothing and continue on course to plow into a group of children crossing a street.
What would the car decide? What's the failsafe if the magic computer stops working? What level of control is still in the hands of the driver? These are questions people will want to know the answer to, not a bunch of marketing oral-ejaculation about how this is the greatest thing since seatbelts.
Re:Cameras? (Score:3, Funny)
Three Laws of Robotics-Gates style (Score:3, Funny)
2. A robot must obey orders given by permission of Bill Gates and his minions and no one else.
3. A robot must arrest any person or machine that attempts to force it to break the first or second law.
Re:Cameras? (Score:3, Interesting)
It just so happens that I have personally known people to have died in automobile accidents, and in two of those cases, it was because the driver thought it was best to swerve (navigate) to avoid an accident rather than simply ap
I'm sorry Dave, I can't let you do that. (Score:3, Interesting)
Everyone stop (Score:4, Interesting)
Yes the story invites the inevtiable, insipid jokes about Microsoft and unstable software. Some are even clever. Some might even be funny.
It is worth pointing out the scale of this proejct for those who can't (or won't) accept it: cars are simpler than general purpose computers. Yes, cars are complicated machines with lots of interworking parts. However, the hardware installation on a car is fixed (within paramters) whereas today's general purpose PCs are not.
The flexibility of modern computer peripherals makes for seemingly endless combinations of hardware and existing software. Microsoft attempts to support quite a few of those combinations, with the mixed results we see today.
But cars are a different beast. I bet it's possible to get good test coverage of this car software through test driving. The scope is that much smaller. Think of your favorite console game; has it crashed recently? Ever? It is possible to create software that passes some reliability metric with a fixed hardware platform. A general purpose OS would be hard pressed to make that guarantee.
Microsoft could get this right technically speaking. It remains to be if they do.
Oh, and is it a good idea? I wouldn't buy one :)
Re:Everyone stop (Score:3, Interesting)
I fail to see how a car with a computer built into it, is simpler than a computer.
It is possible to create software that passes some reliability metric with a fixed hardware platform. A general purpose OS would be hard pressed to make that guarantee.
Um, you do realize that to run software, you need an OS?
Re:Everyone stop (Score:3, Informative)
I think you're thinking of a computer as "PC with any one of a few hundred motherboards, a few hundred videocards, a few hundred soundcards, a few hundred CD-ROM/DVD-ROM drives, a few thousand hard disks and Heaven only knows what other crazy peripherals".
In this context, a computer will be built out of few, well-tested, reasonably reliable parts and these parts won't vary from vehicle to vehicle. They probably won't vary
Re:Everyone stop (Score:3, Interesting)
Limit the scope to all the problems that could go wrong in the car itself, and it is more than mo
Can't resist (Score:3, Funny)
Specially if its a dachshund. (Score:3, Funny)
Great! (Score:3, Funny)
Douglas Adams said it best (Score:5, Insightful)
...TOO...MANY...JOKES... (Score:3, Funny)
First I'd like to point out to the OP that it was recently MAY first, NOT April first.
Quite moving (Score:3, Funny)
The unity of Slashdotters above is quite beautiful. I've never seen anything quite like it, where an entire discussion can be moderated redundant once and be completely correct. It is the most amazing thing to have happened since user #1 signed on...to be honest, it brings a tear to my eye.
David Hasselhoff, is that you? (Score:4, Funny)
KITT: It sounds like you're trying to jump over a construction site. Would you like help?
Michael: Yes! Turbo Boost now!
KITT: There's a grammatical error in that --
Michael: You bastard!
*crash*
A few hours later, in the Knight Travelling Truck...
Michael: Bonnie, KITT has something wrong with him. When I asked him to Turbo Boost, he kept asking for confirmation, and then said that I talked funny.
Bonnie: No problem, let me look under the hood. (pulls vainly on hood) KITT, open up.
KITT: No, Bonnie, you are not authorized to look at my internals.
Bonnie: Devon, what is this crap?! What's going on?
Devon: Oh, we signed a contract with Microsoft for them to provide us with software updates. After all, the Knight Foundation can't afford as many programmers as Microsoft can.
Bonnie: But Devon, I'm the only programmer who ever worked on KITT!
Devon: But look, Bonnie, KITT can now play all these MP3's. Watch. KITT, play "Knight Rider TV Theme Song."
KITT: No, Devon. "Knight Rider TV Theme Song" is owned by Universal Studios. You do not have the right to play that song.
Devon: Bloody hell. KITT, play "Knight Rider 2010 Theme Song".
KITT: No, Devon. "Knight Rider 2010" sucked.
Devon: What cheek! You little wanker!
KITT: It sounds like you're trying to view pr0n. Would you like help?
Michael: See? See?
--Rob
Ford and Microsoft - a marriage made in hell. (Score:3, Funny)
Ford now stands for Fix Or Reboot Daily.
Gates the Prognosticator (Score:3, Funny)
New Ford Motto - "Remember the Yorktown!" (Score:4, Informative)
(For the ignorant, the NT-based US Navy ship that had to be towed back to port when NT crashed.)
Second new Ford motto: "Quality is Job - er, where's the Task Manager?"
"End Task"
"The program is not responding. Do you want to end the task?"
"Yes - that's why I clicked 'End Task' - you stupid fucking piece of shit...!"
Cringely's Last Piece Was On New Jets (Score:3, Informative)
which are supposed to be the safest and most fuel efficient ever made.
Then he said the jet's systems were Microsoft-based.
So I sent him an email asking: "What's wrong with this picture?" and referencing the Yorktown.
He replied that he was going to research that part some more, but he got the point.
Re:Irony (Score:5, Funny)
No.
Re:Slashdot Feature request (Score:3, Informative)
Then make those accounts friends of your main account, and set your "Foes of friends" modifier appropriately.