120519
story
starexplorer2001 writes
"It seems that new AT&T/BellSouth/Cingular merger might actually have some benefits, specifically in the area of pushing the technological envelope. Developers are close to releasing a cellphone device that is implanted into your molars. From the article on the HowStuffWorks site: 'Once implanted in a person's molar, the transducer caused the tooth to vibrate in response to radio signals. The physical structure of the jaw carried the tooth's vibrations to the inner ear, where the user, and no one else, could perceive them as sound. The implant's designers held dramatic demonstrations of this principle using a vibrating wand. Participants confirmed that they could hear crystal clear voices through their teeth. '"
Already been done (Score:1)
http://www.healthyhearing.com/library/ate_content
Re: (Score:1)
Re: (Score:2, Funny)
iPhone (Score:5, Funny)
Sorry, but my head is full of ponies...
Or... (Score:2)
Re: (Score:1)
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
And make sure you don't slam the phone down when you are mad. You'll bust a tooth.
lol (Score:3, Insightful)
SMS (Score:5, Funny)
Re: (Score:1)
Didn't you read the article? Keyboards are being implanted in the penis for male users.
Re: (Score:1)
Re: (Score:1)
Guys... (Score:5, Insightful)
Re: (Score:2)
The problem with "fake news" on the Web is that it's trivial to produce, and not so very different from what you can get every day of the year on the political blog of your choice.
My personal advice to anyone who gets the urge to run a fake news story is: if you could create funny fake news stories successfully, you'd be working for The Onion by now. If you aren't working for The Onion, it would probably be best if you kept your "humour" to yourself.
Why the
Re: (Score:1)
Re: (Score:2)
Slashdottit malfunction (Score:2)
Confirmed (Score:2, Funny)
Kent, this is God. (Score:4, Funny)
This is Jesus, Kent (Score:1)
So what? (Score:1)
Funny (Score:4, Funny)
so many uses!! (Score:2)
2. Could be great way to cheat on an exam. Teachers will have to walk around with bluetooth sniffing devices (or at random stick fingers into your mouth) to spot this fraud.
3. Also great opportunities for your defence in court:" Sir, mmy wisdom tooth told me to kill him" .
great technology, already so many uses for it.
Thankfully (Score:5, Insightful)
The Voices (Score:1)
Re: (Score:2)
1) it's hands-free.
2) 90% of all cell users talk out of their ass anyway
3) 5% of cell phone users need to have their phone forcibly be placed there if they don't shut their fat clown mouths.
4) You haven't lived until you've heard rectal ringtones. In Germany, Flatus Frog was a hit for years.
5) Cell battery charging can be done in-place, and really feels good.
6) However, answering the phone while driving is very difficult
7) Work
Re: (Score:1)
While there is some debate concerning the date of the invention of the rectal cell phone, multiple sources suggest that events immediatly preceeding the invention included the user of a conventional cell phone partaking in an [unnecessarily] loud conversation whilst seated in a movie theatre.
And In Other News (Score:1, Troll)
Watching my teeth (Score:2, Insightful)
What an old tech April Fools story
Next year you need a new angle. How about tattooing cellphones on the backs of pets.
So... (Score:1)
But (Score:5, Funny)
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Re: (Score:1)
um... (Score:1)
Oh, Great ! (Score:1)
That's just *great*. Bad enough having to listen to Son of Sam's dog in my fscking head, now I have to listen %*)()_##!! Berkowitz call' too!
vibrate... (Score:2)
Duke Nukem, anyone? (Score:1)
Count me out (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Hehe. I'm fighting the losing battle, am I? Put down your bible and pay attention to physics.
Reminds me of a rant on a show called "The 90s" (Score:1)
It makes sense (Score:1)
WIRED (Score:1)
RMAs are a bitch ... (Score:2)
Old news, been around for 5 years (Score:1)
http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/200
Re: (Score:1)
Removing Slashrating Slashdottit (Score:2)
Avogadro (Score:1)
A cellphone in your molar? With a SlashRating© of 10.23 x 10^11?
Would have been more amusing if the SlashRating© was 6.022 x 10^23 [wikipedia.org]
Re: (Score:1)
And I actually saw this in a magazine somewhere, a few years back. No idea where or when exactly, though. (They were talking about using it for football players so the coaches could radio them.)
Re: (Score:1)
Brady Bunch first (Score:1)
Additional features (Score:2)
Helicopter helmets (Score:2)
Seriously, Doc..... (Score:1)
Doctor: "Sure they are."
Me: "No, I'm not kidding."
Doctor: "Well, then. Tell me, what are these voices telling you?"
Me: "The Oakland Raiders won the Super Bowl."
Doctor: "Sure they did....."
(brief buzzing sound)
(two big burly guys in white coats burst in through the door and drag me off to a padded room)
----------
Man, talk about being able to get into someone's head!
Now offering: Bank By Brain
Hedwig and the Angry Inch? (Score:1)
Vibrating Cavity? (Score:1)
Can you imagine how painful every cavity you get will be with all that vibrating going on in your mouth?
And can you imagine the deductible charge on your molar if you swallow the device?
I mean I already have a problem with dropping my cell in the urinal when I forget to shift my phone to the back of my waste band- 3 phones at $50 a pop, and now I'm allowed no more...
Also- wont this make diagnosing schizophrenics harder? I mean I could be walking down the street talking to myself and no one would know t
LARD - Can God Fill Teeth? (Score:2)
Where's the pliers.
GOD DAMMIT! Where's the pliers?!?
WILMA! Where'd you put my electric drill.
This is all coming out right now. TODAY!
AAAAAAAaaaaaaggggghhhhh!!!!
Jello Biafra and Alien Jorgensen forever...
I want wheels, not a cellphone. (Score:1)