Robots To Clear the Baltic Seafloor of WW-II Mines

An anonymous reader writes "A Russian company is building a massive natural gas pipeline that will run across the Baltic Sea floor. But first, they must clear some of the 150,000 unexploded bombs sitting at the bottom of the sea, left there by the Russian and German armies in the 1940s. About 70 of these mines, each filled with 300 kg of explosive charge, sit in the pipeline's path, mostly in its northern section just south of Finland. And so the company contracted to remove the mines is bringing in robots to do the dirty work. Here's how it will work: A research ship deploys the robot to the seabed, where it identifies the exact location of the explosive. After sounding a warning to surrounding ship traffic, scaring fish away using a small explosive, and then emitting a 'seal screamer' of high intensity noises designed to make the area around the blast quite uncomfortable for marine mammals, Bactec's engineers erupt a 5 kg blast, forcing the mine to detonate. This process ensures the safety of humans plus any animals living in the surrounding environment. The operation concludes with the robot being redeployed to clear up the scrap of the now-destroyed bomb."

DISCRIMINATION!

[Thud457]

once again, The Man keeping the metalman down by only giving him the shitty jobs!!!

humans

[Anonymous Coward]

One day robots will use humans to dispose of mines...won't be so funny then...

Re:DISCRIMINATION!

[Anonymous Coward]

Hey, it could be worse. I envisioned the robots to be like underwater roombas. The machines would roll over to the mine, and hit it really hard with a comically shaped hammer. Bam-Splat, no more mine or robot. Very Wile E. Coyote style.

Re:Save everything that can move away fast enough?

[tompaulco]

There probably aren't a lot of plants that far down, but there would be lots of invertebrates. Poor invertebrates have all the bad luck. Perhaps one day they will learn the evolutionary advantage of being cute and furry.

Good news!

[MahJongKong]

I hope that around 2050 we'll take care of Afghanistan, once Rwanda is done around 2035.

Re:Save everything that can move away fast enough?

[interkin3tic]

What about the plants? and stuff that can't move away fast enough?

It's not like WWII happened yesterday. They had plenty of time to move away from the bombs. If they didn't that's their own damn fault for choosing to grow right near an old bomb! [/joke]

Re:humans

[megamerican]

I, for one welcome our new aquatic suicide bombing robot overlords.

Re:Save everything that can move away fast enough?

[rarel]

But opposition to the detonation of the sea floor was fierce in some quarters, particularly from hyper-intelligent crabs and designers of algae, with crustaceans also appearing troubled by the decision. Many urged that the seafloor be moved to "underground seafloor" status instead of being wiped out of the ocean altogether. Also protesting are the people of sharks, who feel that though they thought seafloor-bombing is a racist activity, that it is ironically a form of tribute to their lasertag games. "I do believe the community may regret this decision and the loss of the excellent mud design on the rocks," said Nemo, a ridiculously cute goldfish who was passing by. "I will, however, submit to the Humans' decision."

"Although this decision is by no means unanimous, the Human feel that the seafloorlacks the necessary characteristics to take upon this task on their own," said Prostetnic Human Smith, a captain with the fleet. "Demolition will begin soon."

"As the proper paperwork has already been appropriately filed, resistance is useless!" Smith added. "This detonation had been discussed for several decades and the plans were available in a nearby continent for review and/or complaint. We regret the loss of lives, but we can't be blamed if you won't take the trouble to get out and get involved in your neighborhood"

Re:humans

[Anonymous Coward]

Let me fix that for you;
In Soviet Russia robots use humans to dispose mines...

Re:Save everything that can move away fast enough?

[ColdWetDog]

Or just farm out the job to PETA [peta.org] they seem to have that angle covered.

Re:Save everything that can move away fast enough?

[g0bshiTe]

So long and thanks, for all the fish....

Re:Dirty Jobs ftw

[natehoy]

"Dirty Jobs"... with Mike RoweBOT? (snare drum)

oh, "mines" not "mimes"

[Anonymous Coward]

For a minute I read your post as this:

One day robots will use humans to dispose of mimes...won't be so funny then...

and I was going to vehemently disagree.

Re:Where do I submit my CV?

[PotatoFarmer]

Eh, it's not as cool as you might think. I've found a screenshot [wordpress.com] of their software interface, looks pretty boring.

A warning to anyone googling for "seal screamer"

[synaptik]

A warning to anyone tempted to google for the article's intriguing term "seal screamer": the google search result pointing to Urban Dictionary's entry for "screamin' seal [urbandictionary.com]"-- while interesting in its own right, and marginally related-- is likely not the same phenomenon.

Re:Will the mines explore

[nitehawk214]

The cheapest, fastest, and safest way is to just blow them all up.

That's your solution to everything.

Re:Who would oppose this?

[infinite9]

The way the internet is, all you have to do is say "I like toast" and someone from the Anti-Cruelty to Bread Society will come out of the woodwork to harass you.

Re:oh, "mines" not "mimes"

[plover]

For a minute I read your post as this:

One day robots will use humans to dispose of mimes...won't be so funny then...

and I was going to vehemently disagree.

ROBOT 01101001: Do you know what is funny about mimes?

ROBOT 10000110: No. What is funny about mimes?

ROBOT 01101001: Their interaction with my gustatory sensory circuits.

ROBOT 10000110: Ha. Ha. Ha.

Re:Who would oppose this?

[gestalt_n_pepper]

Damn your anti-dough-ism!

Leavenophiles are united! Heads will roll! We will not loaf; we will RISE to the occasion and defeat the effete fascist flour flouters!!

Re:Sooo, paying for WWII cleanup...Who gets the bi

[Anonymous Coward]

Cui bono?

Fork it up, Israel.

Re:DISCRIMINATION!

[timeOday]

Are you accusing Russia of leveraging its natural resources as economic means to influence geopolitics!? I'm glad our oil suppliers never pull any of that crap.

Re:Sooo, paying for WWII cleanup...Who gets the bi

[Duradin]

Hey now, we could at least let them sign the treaty at some place fancy, like Versailles.