HOWTO: The Anti-Printer 179
Compu486 writes "Inventgeek.com has an interesting article on modding laser printers. In this how to mod they have converted a standard Xerox laser printer into an automatic high volume paper shredder. Just what we need to take care of those pesky alien autopsy photos, TPS reports, and Apple & IBM's CPU Contracts."
Ho hum... (Score:5, Funny)
Big deal...at my office there's a printer that randomly shreds documents without any sort of modification. ^_^
Re:Ho hum... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Ho hum... (Score:2, Informative)
Er, sounds like you have one broken printer there. Might I recommend an engineer call?
Re:Ho hum... (Score:2, Funny)
Actually, I should have noted that the point of the original article is that they only unleashed the natural paper-hating spirit of the demon that lurks in the heart of every printer. (Benjamin Franklin excepted.)
But it still deserves to get modded redundant? Will it help avert redundancy if I tell the story of my three of my early printers? One was this weird thermal paper jobber. Then there was this early daisy wheel thing b
Re:Ho hum... (Score:2)
Re:Ho hum... (Score:3, Informative)
Generally speaking, I don't have anger issues. I'm laid back, mellow, and "nice". But at that moment, the urge to beat her to death with the fax machine almost overwhelmed me.
Re:Ho hum... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Ho hum... (Score:3, Insightful)
A postscript dot matrix printer? Has there ever been such a beast?
Re:Ho hum... (Score:2)
OB office space (Score:2)
Aliens (Score:2, Funny)
Aliens are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos!
Re:Eskimos (Score:2)
Weird (Score:5, Insightful)
Hacks are wonderful things... but this is like turning a 911 into a Chevette.
Re:Weird (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Weird (Score:5, Interesting)
So yeah, it is like turning a 911 into a Chevette.... except that you've slammed the 911 into a tree the day before and actually have a use for a Chevette - maybe some Chevette fan is offering you loads of money for it?
Re:Weird (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Weird (Score:2, Funny)
A friend of mine married a very elegant French woman who insisted that he buy her a "sporty car". So, one day he handed her a set of keys with a fob that said "Vette".
It was all hugs and kisses, until she got to the window, at which point her mood changed (permanently, I think).
Re:Weird (Score:2)
Re:Weird (Score:3, Informative)
If there was a need for a bulk shredder, why did they use a $15 walmart piece of crap?
Those things aren't designed to run continuously - it's gonna burn out in less than a week.
Now this [mbmcorp.com] is a bulk shredder - it will take CD's VHS tapes, and even 3-ring binders (whole - including the rings.)
Re:Weird (Score:3, Informative)
You could buy a new $15 shredder at Walmart every week for the next 38+ years for that price!
Re:Weird (Score:2)
Re:Weird (Score:2)
You'd be buying them every day, not week. I don't know about you, but that's not a great way to spend my time.
And it *still* wouldn't take binders and CDs, unless you were buying them everyy 5 minutes.
My point was that a $15 disposable is *NOT* a bulk shredder.
Re:Weird (Score:2, Interesting)
Re:Weird (Score:2)
Re:Weird (Score:2, Funny)
Mine will shred bowling balls, whole cabinets full of 3-ring binders and an entire meeting room full of PHBs... All at once!
I'm the evil midnight shredder what shreds at midnight! Bwahahahahaha!
--It's the only jib I've got Baby!
Re:Weird (Score:2)
Re:Weird (Score:2)
Also, your solution while envy-producing starts at $32,000.
Re:Weird (Score:2, Funny)
Results may vary, of course...
Re:Weird (Score:5, Funny)
I need the shredder on the output of the laser printer for the ultimate in secure documents that are so secure that they must be shredded as they are printed.
You could have more "fun"... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:You could have more "fun"... (Score:2)
Modded toner cart (Score:4, Funny)
Missing features (Score:5, Informative)
They really miss these good old features on this Xerox. Too bad, else it would have been worth to spend some time on it.
Re:Missing features (Score:2)
Our new Canon ImageRunner came with this feature. You'd think that for all the things they list that it does, that they would've included this one. Of course, it doesn't do it very often, so maybe they just didn't want to get people's hopes up...
Re:Missing features (Score:2)
the other way? (Score:2, Funny)
Other mods on the site (Score:2)
Re:Other mods on the site (Score:2)
Though i can't help thinking that it looks like an iMac with an eating disorder
Re:Other mods on the site (Score:2)
Hey.
Even PCs need lovin' sometimes.
Yeah, but... (Score:5, Funny)
I thought not.
Re:Yeah, but... (Score:2)
Re:Yeah, but... (Score:2)
Collides yes. Simply comes into contact with, no. You just need a little higher velocity to achieve the same result.
:-P
So, all you need it your LXPS (Large Xerox Particle Sled) to get the two up to speed, and you can have exactly what you wanted.
I hearn CERN has a facility for printer/anti-printer interaction analysis.
Re:Yeah, but... (Score:2)
Stolen Idea (Score:4, Funny)
I believe that the submitter was referring to this [politiq.org] Xerox "real customer testimonials" advertisement.
What's the point? (Score:2)
Re:What's the point? (Score:2)
Re:What's the point? (Score:2)
It's a pointless project, pure and simple. The stupidest part is you need to buy shredders and gut a large laser printer in order to complete it.
Re:What's the point? (Score:2)
Re:What's the point? (Score:2)
As to the alternative, the alternative is to buy a shredder which can take 10 sheets of paper at a time. I believe they can be had for quite reasonable amounts
Re:What's the point? (Score:2)
Re:What's the point? (Score:2)
Re:What's the point? (Score:3, Funny)
You're not a fool
{cue Monty Python Lumberjack music}
Oh, I'm a Terrorist and I'm okay,
I scheme at night, and I plot all day.
{a group of riot police show up for the chorus}
Oh, he's a Terrorist and he's okay,
He schemes at n
Duplex (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Duplex (Score:2)
And the OS? (Score:3, Funny)
Great boon for document security... (Score:5, Funny)
The sad thing is, if I say that out loud here, it would probably become office policy.
Speaking of shredders, I remember seeing a handheld, wand-shaped, shredder for sale once. My first thought was that this was a dumb idea. Then, I realized that they would be perfect for those goobers that are constantly shoving flyers at you when you walk into a shopping mall or down city streets. I can just see how the interaction would go:
[goober] Would you like a flyer explaining our cause to fight discrimination against people with excessive ear hair? It's also good for 10% off a facial a Chez Whositz.
[me] Sure, thanks! {immediately runs it through handy shredder}
[goober] you're an asshole, you know that?
[me] {chuckling to myself}...yea....
Re:Great boon for document security... (Score:2)
That just takes care of the one flyer. Better to run the goober through a woodchipper.
Better yet, follow the money trail and keep sticking them into the chipper.
Re:Great boon for document security... (Score:2)
Re:Great boon for document security... (Score:2)
You're not the first one to have this idea.
Re:Great boon for document security... (Score:2)
Back in those days however, I was more a "Calvin and Hobbs" and "Bloom County/Outland" guy.
Cheers,
Joe
Re:Great boon for document security... (Score:2)
Anyhow, in that strip, Dilbert's handing an urgent document to the boss, who promptly proceeds to shred it in his portable shredder, and, when Dilbert remarks how much he hates that thing, asks whether Dilbert's tie's made of silk.
I think it fits perfectly with the boss' personality.
What, no laser? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:What, no laser? (Score:2)
"boss, I'd like to buy this new ultrasecure shredder. It uses a laser to completely obliterate the document. The only snag is that we'd need to have a 2.5 kA/400V feed brought in."
Re:What, no laser? (Score:3, Insightful)
The perfect device for the Bush administration (Score:4, Funny)
Dearest Mods: No, this is not a troll, just a potentially lame attempt at humor. This [aol.com] is a troll.
Re:The perfect device for the Bush administration (Score:3, Funny)
Mr. Zulu (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Mr. Zulu (Score:2)
Heh, completely pointless (Score:5, Funny)
"This motor is actually scavenged from an additional paper shredder"
Sooo, take one functioning printer, one functioning shredder, combine the two and what do you have; one functioning shredder that looks like a printer and a pile of spare parts
I love mods for mods sake
Re:Heh, completely pointless (Score:2)
I shudder at the thought of a paper jam in that beast.
Re:Heh, completely pointless (Score:2)
Why? Afraid that your page is going to come out whole?
Why not cross-cutting.... (Score:4, Insightful)
But consider this; assume the shredder takes a vertically-aligned piece of A4/US-Letter paper. That's not too bad if you've printed the document in the same orientation.
On the other hand, if you've printed the document as 'landscape' (or simply fed it in that way), the text is rotated by 90 degrees, and it's quite possible to get a COMPLETE LINE OF TEXT LEFT INTACT. Sure, it might get cut in half. Or it *might not*... and this is a near-certainty if you have one of those cheap shredders that only does really wide strips (7-8mm). Not to mention that the latter, assuming the documents in the bin haven't become too mixed, will be relatively easy to reconstruct because there are so few pieces.
In addition, feeding the paper 'correctly' (as a printer mechanism would) improves the alignment and hence *increases the problem*!
I bought a cross-cut shredder which reduces to fairly small pieces (4 x 22mm). Although it might be possible to have some meaningful information remain intact (e.g. a short account number), this is far less probable. Even if this happens, as it's not part of a long run of text, the context and meaning will be separated (e.g. the account number might not be recognised as such), and unless someone *really* knows what they're looking for, they'll probably miss it.
Plus, they have *many* more pieces to search through, and they're easier to mix up if you're really paranoid.
Yeah, the FBI could still get your information if they got their hands on the shredded paper (I bet they have pretty advanced 'stitching' software and the money to pay people to scan the pieces properly), but there's little information I have that the FBI couldn't find far easier in another manner. It'll stop everyone else, and that's good enough for what I use it for.
Re:Why not cross-cutting.... (Score:2)
The cross-cut shredder *won't*, and that's the point I was trying to prove. You *might* be able to determine what the shredded piece was originally part of (e.g. photo, bank statement etc.), but I wouldn't lose sleep over anyone being able to extract any useful information from it.
And i
Re:Why not cross-cutting.... (Score:2)
Reminds me of a joke I read.. (Score:5, Funny)
"This is a very sensitive official document," says the CEO. "My secretary's gone for the night. Can you make this thing work?"
"Sure," says the junior exec as he turns on the shredder and hits the start button.
"Great," says the CEO. "I just need one copy."
arent paper shreders insecure as well (Score:4, Interesting)
Re:arent paper shreders insecure as well (Score:3, Interesting)
I've wondered if this could be used o
Re:arent paper shreders insecure as well (Score:3, Interesting)
I remember a gadget sold aboot 20 years ago that you put old newspaper into, added water, then it squeezed this into "logs" which you put aside to dry. In winter time, burns like wood. (Normal paper burns too fast for a fireplace, you have to keep feeding in ha
Oblig. (Score:5, Funny)
Printer v Shredder (Score:5, Funny)
Half-a$$ed job! (Score:2, Funny)
Nor does it run NetBSD. I've got this great toaster that....
difficulty: experanced (Score:2, Funny)
"experanced", yeah...
Something between esperance and rancid? ;-)
Fax shredded (Score:2)
Big deal (Score:2)
Similar to our printer names (Score:4, Funny)
shredder
pc_load_a4
toner_low
paper_jam
warming_up
fax_machine
The helpdesk tickets are rather amusing.
Okay, getting anal here, but... (Score:2)
I can remember (Score:2)
I loved that machine, particularly when I left the job. All my file cabinets went through that shredder.
The only mod I'd make to the original is a cross cutter as strips can be re-assembled with a little bit of effort.
However, re-assembling confetti is a whole lot harder.
What a disappointment (Score:2)
I thought this was going to be a cool mod. Instead the guy bought a shredder from Wal-Mart and stuffed it in the printer shell. My hope was the guy tweaked the laser so it would cut paper. Oh well...
how to.... (Score:2)
it's certainly cool but i don't ever wanna turn an expensive laser printer into a paper shredder, which i can pick up for 8 bucks.
Dissappointing (Score:2)
Finally! (Score:2)
Re:Cuts out... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Ultimate BOFH LART. (Score:2)
Re:Toms hardware did it first (Score:3, Informative)
"This project was featured on 8/3/05 on toms hardware's "how to" section."
Re:Where's the challenge? (Score:2)
http://www.hp.com/ [hp.com]Click Here!
R.
Re:Where's the challenge? (Score:2)
Re:Where's the challenge? (Score:2)
Have you ever used a HP Deskjet?
Re:Cheap? (Score:2)
Re:I could use this (Score:2)
Re:I could use this (Score:2)