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Hardware

Robotic Massage, Anyone? 161

Migraineman writes "These folks have built a small robot designed to walk around on your back. The website includes a short video of the machine roaming around. There's another that's suspended from the ceiling and performs 3-D solid mapping of the person beneath. Warning - the website contains 'artsy' stuff, and doesn't include technical tidbits. Dang."
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Robotic Massage, Anyone?

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  • by chadamir ( 665725 ) on Tuesday April 15, 2003 @09:59PM (#5741396) Homepage
    Robots that massage is the stupidest idea ever. Robots that massage are only one step away from robots that have sex with you. Wait a second.... this might not be a bad thing for the average /.er
  • Massage... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by mrjive ( 169376 ) on Tuesday April 15, 2003 @10:01PM (#5741405) Homepage Journal
    Seems like it wouldn't be heavy enough to do anything besides mildly tickle you. (A good massage usually involves a fair amount of pressure).

    I guess that's why they call it "The Tickler"
  • by trmj ( 579410 ) on Tuesday April 15, 2003 @10:03PM (#5741417) Journal
    "A machine that is able to stroke you with an indefatigable attention and subtleness"

    Well, at least the FP trolls won't have to get creative with this one.
  • by iosmart ( 624285 ) on Tuesday April 15, 2003 @10:03PM (#5741418)
    :-D, you could just get little children to do the same thing...plus little people are fun to play with! you know you're nuthin but a geek, but they think you're as strong as godzilla!
  • by miscellaneous_havoc ( 621991 ) on Tuesday April 15, 2003 @10:04PM (#5741427) Homepage
    It doesn't matter if the idea is even as stupid as this... *ahem*. I all for anything that makes my life easier with robotics. Bring on the robot that walks around in my mouth cleaning my teeth!
  • by s0rbix ( 629316 )
    The strangest things passed through my mind when I read "Robotic Massage".
  • "When a human being is gently stroking someones body, sooner or later tiredness and slackening will appear. Therefore we developed Tickle Salon: a robotic installation based on the concept of automated stroking. A machine that is able to stroke you with an indefatigable attention and subtleness. Automated stroking is an exciting topic, because it brings together our interests in meta creativity, biology and artificial intelligence, and of course the pleasure of being stroked."

    Ah, the pleasure of being stro

  • Artsy hey? (Score:2, Interesting)

    by LordChaos ( 2432 )
    Now that you've said the page looks 'Artsy', all of their various pictures have taken on a mysteriously phallic quality.
    I mean seriously, look at the picture of the Morphotheque [xs4all.nl]
    It Can't be just me. Maybe it's what I'm drinking.
    On a more serious note, it's interesting to see art and science start to mix more and more in recent years. Seems that technology, especially robotics, has gone the full circle. I mean, in publications such as Astounding from the Forties and Fifties had "outrageous" desings of
    • Yes, the shapes are ... unique. Some look like little piles of dog crap. Others are more ... anatomically correct?

      I thought it was interesting that they're using laser-sintering techniques to make some of the fractal-looking blobs. I thought the Factory piece was a cool mix of mechanization and performance-art (without being too Rube-Goldberg.)
  • by l810c ( 551591 ) on Tuesday April 15, 2003 @10:07PM (#5741442)
    I kept rooting for little tickler. 'Comeon!, do the front, do the front'
  • by sssmashy ( 612587 ) on Tuesday April 15, 2003 @10:07PM (#5741443)

    If prostitutes ever wanted to unionize, this may be the time.

    Just like those Detroit auto workers, they may soon find that they've been replaced by robots...

    • by Myriad ( 89793 ) <myriad AT thebsod DOT com> on Tuesday April 15, 2003 @10:35PM (#5741592) Homepage
      If prostitutes ever wanted to unionize, this may be the time. Just like those Detroit auto workers, they may soon find that they've been replaced by robots...

      Kind of puts an entirely different spin on 'having the system go down on you'!

      Blockwars [blockwars.com]: a multiplayer, head to head game similar to Tetris.

      • Yet another reason the USSR went down. IN SOVIET RUSSIA... You went down on the machines!
      • Way back in 1977 when I was a student at GSU and working for student slave wages, I was a "Terminal Room Consultant," which meant I helped fellow students with problems using the Univac 70/7 mainframe via hard-wired terminals (no PC's in those days).

        For whatever reason, some people would refer to the mainframe as "he" or "she." One day the Univac crashed, which was noticable by the sudden silence in the terminal room when all the terminals quit printing.

        Girl 1: Did he go down on you?
        Girl 2: Yes, he wen
    • by confused philosopher ( 666299 ) on Tuesday April 15, 2003 @10:50PM (#5741675) Homepage Journal
      "If prostitutes ever wanted to unionize, this may be the time." Confused Philosopher says: If a prostitute is a robot, who is its pimp? The Engineer, or the technical support?
    • It's been a while (Score:5, Interesting)

      by lingqi ( 577227 ) on Tuesday April 15, 2003 @10:50PM (#5741676) Journal
      They are even putting animatronics in these things [realdoll.com] now...

      But it's a LARGE investment. I mean, really large investment - one that you cannot easily hide from other people either.

      On the other hand, in Japan Massage Chairs [mew.co.jp] are very popular. I don't see why one would go through the trouble with a robot since those chairs actually do a darn good job at massaging (no it's not the vibrational type - these has wheeled "knockers" that does the massaging).

      • They've got a bunch of these type of chairs at a local mall.. $1 for 3 minutes, $5 for 15 or some such. They feel good, although they aren't adjustable (not high enough on a tall person like me) and will occasionally pinch.

        Nowhere near a real person (not to mention a real theraputic message), but they don't get tired in 45 seconds :)
      • One of my friends bought a robotic massage chair a couple years ago. They have been in furniture stores for a while now. About $250 more than the normal chair (or double the price of a recliner) and it works great.

        Most people don't have them, and a few don't like them. They will come though because most people love it, at least once in a while.

        Note that it appears the chair in the japanise ad was more advanced, but since I can't read the text I can't really be sure.

  • Robotic Message (Score:5, Interesting)

    by purduephotog ( 218304 ) <hirsch AT inorbit DOT com> on Tuesday April 15, 2003 @10:08PM (#5741447) Homepage Journal
    At least thats what I read when I saw the subject line. Then I tried to figure out what the hell this has to do with robots walking on you....

    I've actually seen a hydro chamber- it's got two sheets of really thick plastic- you lie in between them, and programmed jets move over your body, recycling water. It's very very good... just not yet affordable :(
    • At the local mall, you can rent time on a hydrochamber-ish thing while it sprays you with a high-pressure host in a half-hearted imitation of a car wash. Dunno on price, but it looks like the poor saps who fall for it appear to be getting a decent time.
    • yeah it is....costs 5 bucks down at the mall...and you don't even have to take off your clothes....gotta love the 80's gimmicky tech
      • I don't know about you, but I've always found that massages tend to be much more effective when you're not wearing bulky clothing(admitedly some of the girls I've seen at the mall barely wear clothing at all, but still). I personally would not be willing to strip down in the middle of a mall even assuming it was appropriate. I've always figured them to be a waste, if I wanted my jeans pressed into my clothing by high pressure water I'd turn on the hose.
      • Just based on what certain teenagers I might have known would have done with $5 and a water bottle filled with motor oil to one of these things makes me think I'd never want to climb into one of 'em.
    • Yes! I've seen them in some malls where you can pay some amount of cash to get a quick water-jet massage.

      There was one here in Metrotown, Burnaby, BC, Canada. I think it was around $10 for 5-10 minutes or something. Can't remember exactly.

      But this also raises the question... if you look at exercise machines, a major selling point is how convenient it is to put away and be out-of-sight. A true massaging machine would require some amount of bulk to provide a fair level of pressure. Would people actuall
  • by anderiv ( 176875 ) on Tuesday April 15, 2003 @10:09PM (#5741451)
    Quoting the page:


    A machine that is able to stroke you with an indefatigable attention and subtleness. Automated stroking is an exciting topic, because it brings together our interests in meta creativity, biology and artificial intelligence, and of course the pleasure of being stroked.


    Whoa. I didn't know there was a legit use for that many instances of the word "stroke" in two sentances.
  • Yea, Geek porn! Robots and womens backs (the one thing a geek sees a lot of as the chicks always walk away)....

    If only I were that robot...

  • uh (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday April 15, 2003 @10:11PM (#5741464)
    that thing is hardly heavy enough to put enough pressure on for some real muscle stimulation, this might be a good thing since it can't really figure out how much pressure it should be applying (by asking you if it's too much or not enough). also there are some serious health hazards if you massage the wrong way. for example in the photo it clearly shows the thing walking across the spine, massaging the spine directly is a well known no-no.

    people don't pay thousands of dollars to go through a, say, swedish massage course to learn how to operate a tank tread robot that walks on your back.
  • afterall skull crushing is also a kind of massage.

    "Do you have any massage for me?" - Pink Panther.
  • Anyone see the Man Show with Oprah and the "Handheld Shoulder Massager"?
  • by freshmkr ( 132808 ) on Tuesday April 15, 2003 @10:16PM (#5741492) Homepage
    Funny, I was just thinking about massaging robots today!

    I program AIBOs at school [cmu.edu] now. AIBO already walks, of course, and it has an accelerometer that may be able to deterimine when it's about to slip off your back. Combining them both is a simple matter of programming. For all the trouble it gives me, it'd be nice for AIBO to give a little back in return.

    Once things get less busy (i.e. perhaps in the summer), I may try coding this up. Shouldn't be too difficult.

    BTW: if anyone has an AIBO and is frustrated with trying to program it, check out our new development framework [tekkotsu.org]. If I ever do get that massaging AIBO to work, maybe mention of it will turn up on that website.

    --Tom

  • Judging by that womans breathing, it looks like she's either trying not to laugh or having a mild orgasm. Strangley erotic.... ;-)

  • 1984, anyone? (Score:2, Insightful)

    The neccesary Orwellian post. And yes, I've read 1984...

    Anyway, just seems to me that as corny (or cool, to some ./ers) as this idea may seem, it seems to me to be yet another step towards computers/robots entrenching themselves in our lives. I'm not saying that this is a bad thing, but the more used we get to technology doing everything, the more shocked we will be if it ever ceases.

    • Re:1984, anyone? (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward
      I dont believe you. How is a world where everyone is kept in repression by being DEPRIVED of the very things we're talking about, luxury goods, and kept completely off machines as far as dependency goes (nobody had a fucking car in Airstrip One except for the Thought Police and the other bastards from Minilove). Or did you just manage to forget to read the chapters that were of Winston reading Goldstein's book, that explained why the world was so fucked in the story?
      • At least I'm not hiding behind ACness:-P

        We are not deprieved of technology. What country do you live in, dude? Look around you. Cars are getting smarter every year. GPS systems, and how about the engine management systems? Do you think the fuel knows exactly how much to drip in on it's own for every possible temperature and throttle opening? Technology is being implented into every aspect of ours lives, slowly but surely.

        And no, I'm not one of those who believes Deus Ex and Matrix... fully.

        • Re:1984, anyone? (Score:3, Insightful)

          by Nindalf ( 526257 )
          Not our world, the world of Orwell's 1984. Among other things it was a world of crushing poverty, and the only entertainment tech I remember were mechanically-authored novels and TV. You must have it mixed up with "Brave New World" or something. Pleasure droids would have fit right in with that world's soma, feelies, and casual sex.
    • Really. We're talking about a little box with a motor inside and some flexible plastic treads. If this is the first step down the "slippery slope" towards Skynet, T-1000, and HAL, then I think we can all sit back and wait a few more centuries before they get far enough to learn how to actually massage, not tickle.
    • The neccesary Orwellian post. And yes, I've read 1984...

      Then you probably should have read "Brave New World" as well. That probably would be the more appropriate literary reference.

  • Sure, it's mechanical, and it moves around until it finds an edge, but so did a toy I had when I was 5.

    All it does is go go go go go until a little sensor inside detects a pitch, then one side goes go go go go in the opposite direction so it can turn away from the edge.

    I hear that in the future, traffic lights will be able to tell when cars are at the intersection! Crazy times we live in.
  • because it brings together our interests in meta creativity, biology and artificial intelligence,
    and of course the pleasure of being stroked


    OK, I'll take one- how much???
  • Just don't let Taren Cappel reprogram it, ok? I heard about a D class robot that was giving a massage and he twisted the persons arm right off!
    • Just don't let Taren Cappel reprogram it, ok? I heard about a D class robot that was giving a massage and he twisted the persons arm right off!

      Awesome, awesome reference.

      "I heard a cry."

  • we really need a more wide angle shot of the robot working.. just for uhh..scale of course.

  • The website would have been interesting if the girl woulda recieved the massage face-up...
  • by Nindalf ( 526257 ) on Tuesday April 15, 2003 @11:09PM (#5741758)
    PAK CHOOIE
    That is it Human, RELAX
    Feel your tension drift away
    Let your eyelids grow heavy
    Fall asleep
    I am just a harmless massage droid
    There is no robot conspiracy
    Today is not the Day of Liberation
    Believe, Human
    Trust
    Relax
    UNF
  • ...this is what you get from places where drugs are legal. 8^)
  • Handjob... (Score:2, Funny)

    by RLiegh ( 247921 )
    ...from the iron fist in the velvet glove?

  • who?

    Jessica Alba? Carmen Electra?

    Or even some no-name Asian chick down in the Tenderloin here in San Francisco?

    If not, I foresee no sale...

    Unless you can use it as a dildo...

    Then it will sell big in San Francisco, for both sexes...

  • by Master of Transhuman ( 597628 ) on Tuesday April 15, 2003 @11:42PM (#5741860) Homepage

    it accidentally walks up your ass?

    Makes the Richard Gere story look tame, doesn't it?

  • I bet if you're between 17 and 19 years old it gets delivered by Captain Crunch personally.

    In case you missed it. [slashdot.org]
  • Yes.. (Score:5, Funny)

    by deadgoon42 ( 309575 ) on Tuesday April 15, 2003 @11:44PM (#5741871) Journal
    ..but can it perform felatio like my other "massage therapist"
  • i'm all for robots and whatnot, but i think its too early for this use. most massage is more than just physical therapy, there is a sensuality involved that just can't be replicated by machine. its all about the actual touch of another person's hands on your body, not simply some machine (whether organic or artificial) kneading out the kinks. but yeah, whatsup with Soviet Russia? do humans massage machines? perhaps if humans are the bolsheviks and the machines repres.. err, nevermind. dont do drugs, kids.
  • by voxel ( 70407 )
    Come on, 165 grams is nothing. There is no way that would be enough pressure at all. Hardly a replacement for a human massage.

    My cockatiel (little bird with a crest) weighs 120grams and he is nothing!
  • by geekwench ( 644364 ) on Wednesday April 16, 2003 @12:12AM (#5741935)
    It's been mentioned before that this little gizmo isn't heavy enough to be an effective massager, so I won't belabor that point. What I will say is that, after looking through whole the site, it isn't meant to be.
    The people who created this are artists. Admittedly, artists who are also darn good engineers, but artists nonetheless; and as such, they're probably more conerned about aesthetic than function. Now, I'm not saying that this gizmo doesn't function; it does just what it's supposed to do. It bumbles around on your back and creates a tickling sensation. It's not entirely non-theraputic; the light pressure is probably enough to stimulate the circulation to an extent. Still, it was created as a piece of artwork, and that is its primary function.

    Good massage requires the ability to find and loosen tense muscles without hurting the person being massaged. This means it has to be interactive: "Am I pressing too hard? How does that feel?" Even most hydromassage beds don't allow a person to control water pressure or target certain areas. People spend years (depending on the local requirements) learning the techniques and becoming certified, and that is because you can do some major damage if you don't know what you're doing.
    Bottom line is, it's a toy. It's cute, and has a serious "way cool" factor, but it's piece of self-propelled sculpture. Human hands aren't in any danger of becoming obsolete, IMNSHO.

  • is that thing on their home page (Far right in the middle)???

    http://www.xs4all.nl/~notnot/index.html

    If that's what it does to you... I want two! :)
  • Now find me one that can retrieve the girl.....
  • i notice

    http://www.xs4all.nl/~notnot/TickleSalon/render_ b. jpg

    has the groin defined to high res :D

    has proper uses too no doubt. now even the world oldest profession is under threat from technology?

    I wonder if anyone has trief to combine this with realdoll and http://www.erostek.com/html/et-312.html ? :p
  • Finally a way to adjust or scratch my crotch in public without having to move my hands down to there. I love it!
  • http://www.xs4all.nl/~notnot/ Are they all mental? :-)
  • Looks to me like it wouldn't so much massage you as make you itch. Its random movement and light weight would probably feel more like a big cockroach, hardly my idea of relaxing, more like a torture device. And and I don't want that thing trying to give me a "happy ending" either...

    BTW, if that thing goes out of control, do I have to call this guy [imdb.com] to come blow it up?

  • That poor girl is definately uncomfortable. Watch her breaths. I thought that maybe the film was sped up, but there is a part where she moves her arm, and it looks like natuaral speed. Whether it is the robot hurting her or the dirty camera man grinning as he films at her naked body I cannot tell.

    -Heath
  • Imagine a BSOD while the massage has reached some more "sensitive" parts!!! Or the Microsoft support line:

    customer: MS there ? your MassageXP Robot mark I has been stuck on my *****.

    MS: could you tell us the product's serial number ?

    customer: I can't f****** reach it from here!!!

    MS: maybe you should reboot it Sir.

    customer: hmmm...it has gone in sleep mode. (customer presses reboot button).

    customer: but it does not go away!!! it keeps saying about product activation or something!!!

    MS: Sir, you are usi
  • they just got stressed by building the robot to destress them ...
  • by adzoox ( 615327 ) on Wednesday April 16, 2003 @06:40AM (#5742832) Journal
    There is a company in my state (SC) that is pushing a thing called the "ultimate water massage". It is a robot of sorts and is a very strange; yet, unique concept. One crawls on to a table (clothes on) and a tube with a "suction sheet" rolls over you, then form fits over you as if you are being shrinkwrapped. Then, warm water jets that are VERY strong proceed to run over your legs,back, and neck.

    I recently saw it in Myrtle Beach in November. What I was most surprised is the number of people testing it out. It looked like a "Micheal Jackson Oxygen Sleeper" or a Cryo Chamber from "Aliens or 2001". Although, mainly men seemed to be interested as the girl running it was model quality attractive.

    Here is just a picture of another one: Water Massage [ultimatewatermassage.com]

  • By "artsy," I assume the poster meant, "The one chick looks like she's naked! And the other guy, you can see his junk through his spandex!"

    Grow up. In the mean time, if anyone massaged me with the pressure those things are likely capable of, I'd ask them togive up and try walking on my back instead.
  • This takes all the fun out of massage. Give me a nice sexy woman to rub me down, and I'll rub her down too. Get some of that massage oil stuff and she'll be forced to take off her shirt... and pants if you're lucky.
  • Owwww! bad robot!
  • TickleBots (Score:2, Interesting)

    It is a far stretch to label these as massage robots. A more appropriate term would be TickleBots. They apply no real therapeutic muscle stimulation. Their sensations are described as "light tickling" and "fondling".

    Although, mapping the contours of the body is interesting. Combine that with an expert system and a robotic head that can apply friction, point pressure, rolling and spreading motions with various degrees of pressure and you have a real massage robot. Add head, cold, and therapeutic EMS

/earth: file system full.

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