Robotic Massage, Anyone? 161
Migraineman writes "These folks have built a small robot designed to walk around on your back. The website includes a short video of the machine roaming around. There's another that's suspended from the ceiling and performs 3-D solid mapping of the person beneath. Warning - the website contains 'artsy' stuff, and doesn't include technical tidbits. Dang."
haha robots that massage (Score:5, Funny)
Re:haha robots that massage (Score:5, Informative)
Sexually Deviant Engineers (Score:5, Funny)
Maybe you should go visit here
Or... continuing my theory that all engineers are somehow perverted, I submit the following:
For mechanical engineers: http://www.fuckingmachines.com/ [fuckingmachines.com]
For electrical engineers: http://www.erostek.com/html/et-312.html [erostek.com]
I don't know of any such toys for civil, aerospace or *gasp* nuclear engineers.
No, the ET-312 is *not* a piece of test equipment, though it really looks like it. Having tried it, lemme just say that it gives you a happy ending with absolutely no moving parts.
Re:Sexually Deviant Engineers (Score:5, Funny)
Hm.. (Score:2)
Fuckingmachines? (Score:3, Funny)
stuff from realdoll (Score:2)
I mean, none of us had that kind of money back then (food money, after all), but sleeping on a bed of boobs do have its enticing points. Anybody give it a try and post the results? that would be the ULTIMATE bed-mod project.
(for pricing reference, last I checked a "midsection sample" is 1,500 dollars,
Re:haha robots that massage (Score:5, Funny)
Re:haha robots that massage (Score:5, Funny)
Re:haha robots that massage (Score:2)
Send robbie out to Mow the Lawn [robotic-lawnmower.com] first.
Re:dear lovers (Score:1, Informative)
sensual massage for couples [amazon.com]
learn how to give pleasure with your hands [amazon.com]
massage: the ultimate illustrated guide [amazon.com]
and especially for the ladies,
girlfriend-to-girlfriend time-tested techniques that will blow his mind [amazon.com]
have fun now (and please don't buy that robot)!
yours truly,
letter
p.s. all of the
It's a match made in heaven (Score:1)
Massage... (Score:5, Insightful)
I guess that's why they call it "The Tickler"
Same with a handjob.... (Score:2)
Re:Massage... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Massage... (Score:3, Funny)
On the other hand, every cat I've ever known would run and hide from a machine like that.
yeah, this article won't be abused... (Score:5, Funny)
Well, at least the FP trolls won't have to get creative with this one.
Other products to relax with at the spa: (Score:1)
Re:yeah, this article won't be abused... (Score:2)
Ah, yes, the pleasure of being stroked. Although I never had an interest in the intelligence of the stroker....
human power rawr! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:human power rawr! (Score:5, Funny)
I'm all for robot-anything (Score:3, Interesting)
Wow (Score:1)
wonderful quote (Score:1)
Ah, the pleasure of being stro
Re:wonderful quote (Score:3, Funny)
Those wacky dutch!
Re:wonderful quote (Score:2)
Re:wonderful quote (Score:1)
All I know is, it's amazingly relaxing and we're all asleep soon enough. As long as they're not dumb enough to jump on the keyboard....
Artsy hey? (Score:2, Interesting)
I mean seriously, look at the picture of the Morphotheque [xs4all.nl]
It Can't be just me. Maybe it's what I'm drinking.
On a more serious note, it's interesting to see art and science start to mix more and more in recent years. Seems that technology, especially robotics, has gone the full circle. I mean, in publications such as Astounding from the Forties and Fifties had "outrageous" desings of
Strange shapes (Score:2)
I thought it was interesting that they're using laser-sintering techniques to make some of the fractal-looking blobs. I thought the Factory piece was a cool mix of mechanization and performance-art (without being too Rube-Goldberg.)
Disappointing Video (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Disappointing Video (Score:2)
Exotic Robotic Massage (Score:5, Funny)
If prostitutes ever wanted to unionize, this may be the time.
Just like those Detroit auto workers, they may soon find that they've been replaced by robots...
The System Is Down (Score:5, Funny)
Kind of puts an entirely different spin on 'having the system go down on you'!
Blockwars [blockwars.com]: a multiplayer, head to head game similar to Tetris.
IN SOVIET RUSSIA... (Score:1)
Re:The System Is Down (Score:1)
For whatever reason, some people would refer to the mainframe as "he" or "she." One day the Univac crashed, which was noticable by the sudden silence in the terminal room when all the terminals quit printing.
Girl 1: Did he go down on you?
Girl 2: Yes, he wen
Re:Exotic Robotic Massage (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Exotic Robotic Massage (Score:3, Funny)
It's been a while (Score:5, Interesting)
But it's a LARGE investment. I mean, really large investment - one that you cannot easily hide from other people either.
On the other hand, in Japan Massage Chairs [mew.co.jp] are very popular. I don't see why one would go through the trouble with a robot since those chairs actually do a darn good job at massaging (no it's not the vibrational type - these has wheeled "knockers" that does the massaging).
Re:It's been a while (Score:2)
Nowhere near a real person (not to mention a real theraputic message), but they don't get tired in 45 seconds
Visit a furniture store (Score:2)
One of my friends bought a robotic massage chair a couple years ago. They have been in furniture stores for a while now. About $250 more than the normal chair (or double the price of a recliner) and it works great.
Most people don't have them, and a few don't like them. They will come though because most people love it, at least once in a while.
Note that it appears the chair in the japanise ad was more advanced, but since I can't read the text I can't really be sure.
Robotic Message (Score:5, Interesting)
I've actually seen a hydro chamber- it's got two sheets of really thick plastic- you lie in between them, and programmed jets move over your body, recycling water. It's very very good... just not yet affordable
Re:Robotic Message (Score:2)
Re:Robotic Message (Score:2)
Re:Robotic Message (Score:1)
Wait a sec- (Score:2)
Think Linux-
1)Get Girlfriend
2)?????
3)Profit!
I'll let you figure out what to do in step 2, but I hope its fun.....
eeewwww (Score:2)
Re:Robotic Message (Score:1)
There was one here in Metrotown, Burnaby, BC, Canada. I think it was around $10 for 5-10 minutes or something. Can't remember exactly.
But this also raises the question... if you look at exercise machines, a major selling point is how convenient it is to put away and be out-of-sight. A true massaging machine would require some amount of bulk to provide a fair level of pressure. Would people actuall
Robotic Stroking (Score:5, Funny)
Whoa. I didn't know there was a legit use for that many instances of the word "stroke" in two sentances.
Geek porn (Score:2)
If only I were that robot...
Re:Geek porn (Score:5, Funny)
Embed them with hidden webcams and give them as gifts.
Re:Geek porn (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Geek porn (Score:1)
uh (Score:3, Interesting)
people don't pay thousands of dollars to go through a, say, swedish massage course to learn how to operate a tank tread robot that walks on your back.
skull crushing (Score:1, Troll)
"Do you have any massage for me?" - Pink Panther.
Handheld Shoulder Massager (Score:1)
Maybe AIBO can do this. (Score:3, Informative)
I program AIBOs at school [cmu.edu] now. AIBO already walks, of course, and it has an accelerometer that may be able to deterimine when it's about to slip off your back. Combining them both is a simple matter of programming. For all the trouble it gives me, it'd be nice for AIBO to give a little back in return.
Once things get less busy (i.e. perhaps in the summer), I may try coding this up. Shouldn't be too difficult.
BTW: if anyone has an AIBO and is frustrated with trying to program it, check out our new development framework [tekkotsu.org]. If I ever do get that massaging AIBO to work, maybe mention of it will turn up on that website.
--Tom
Re:Maybe AIBO can do this. (Score:1)
Re:Maybe AIBO can do this. (Score:1)
When I first read this, my first thought was "You were thinking of doing what to robots, you naughty person?!"
tickling? (Score:1)
1984, anyone? (Score:2, Insightful)
Anyway, just seems to me that as corny (or cool, to some ./ers) as this idea may seem, it seems to me to be yet another step towards computers/robots entrenching themselves in our lives. I'm not saying that this is a bad thing, but the more used we get to technology doing everything, the more shocked we will be if it ever ceases.
Re:1984, anyone? (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:1984, anyone? (Score:1)
We are not deprieved of technology. What country do you live in, dude? Look around you. Cars are getting smarter every year. GPS systems, and how about the engine management systems? Do you think the fuel knows exactly how much to drip in on it's own for every possible temperature and throttle opening? Technology is being implented into every aspect of ours lives, slowly but surely.
And no, I'm not one of those who believes Deus Ex and Matrix... fully.
Re:1984, anyone? (Score:3, Insightful)
Oh, Come On (Score:1)
Re:1984, anyone? (Score:1)
Then you probably should have read "Brave New World" as well. That probably would be the more appropriate literary reference.
How the hell is this a robot? (Score:1, Flamebait)
All it does is go go go go go until a little sensor inside detects a pitch, then one side goes go go go go in the opposite direction so it can turn away from the edge.
I hear that in the future, traffic lights will be able to tell when cars are at the intersection! Crazy times we live in.
Re:lights (Score:2)
nuff said.... (Score:1)
and of course the pleasure of being stroked
OK, I'll take one- how much???
Robots of death (Score:1)
Re:Robots of death (Score:2)
Awesome, awesome reference.
"I heard a cry."
what we really need.. (Score:1)
Hmmmm (Score:1)
"Tickler" robot internal monologue (Score:3, Funny)
That is it Human, RELAX
Feel your tension drift away
Let your eyelids grow heavy
Fall asleep
I am just a harmless massage droid
There is no robot conspiracy
Today is not the Day of Liberation
Believe, Human
Trust
Relax
UNF
for better or for worse... (Score:1)
Handjob... (Score:2, Funny)
And This Thing Looks Like... (Score:2)
who?
Jessica Alba? Carmen Electra?
Or even some no-name Asian chick down in the Tenderloin here in San Francisco?
If not, I foresee no sale...
Unless you can use it as a dildo...
Then it will sell big in San Francisco, for both sexes...
I Just Looked At This Thing - What if... (Score:3, Funny)
it accidentally walks up your ass?
Makes the Richard Gere story look tame, doesn't it?
Is it delivered by Captain Crunch?? (Score:1)
In case you missed it. [slashdot.org]
Yes.. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Yes.. (Score:2)
I'm afraid i can't do that, Dave.
hmmmm... nah. (Score:1)
165 grams is too light! (Score:1, Interesting)
My cockatiel (little bird with a crest) weighs 120grams and he is nothing!
Robotic massage? Not really. (Score:4, Insightful)
The people who created this are artists. Admittedly, artists who are also darn good engineers, but artists nonetheless; and as such, they're probably more conerned about aesthetic than function. Now, I'm not saying that this gizmo doesn't function; it does just what it's supposed to do. It bumbles around on your back and creates a tickling sensation. It's not entirely non-theraputic; the light pressure is probably enough to stimulate the circulation to an extent. Still, it was created as a piece of artwork, and that is its primary function.
Good massage requires the ability to find and loosen tense muscles without hurting the person being massaged. This means it has to be interactive: "Am I pressing too hard? How does that feel?" Even most hydromassage beds don't allow a person to control water pressure or target certain areas. People spend years (depending on the local requirements) learning the techniques and becoming certified, and that is because you can do some major damage if you don't know what you're doing.
Bottom line is, it's a toy. It's cute, and has a serious "way cool" factor, but it's piece of self-propelled sculpture. Human hands aren't in any danger of becoming obsolete, IMNSHO.
What the hell... (Score:1)
http://www.xs4all.nl/~notnot/index.html
If that's what it does to you... I want two!
OK Now Thats cool.... (Score:1)
examine those pix (Score:1)
http://www.xs4all.nl/~notnot/TickleSalon/render
has the groin defined to high res
has proper uses too no doubt. now even the world oldest profession is under threat from technology?
I wonder if anyone has trief to combine this with realdoll and http://www.erostek.com/html/et-312.html ?
Male Liberation! (Score:1)
What is that site about?? (Score:1)
My little "Runaway"? (Score:1)
BTW, if that thing goes out of control, do I have to call this guy [imdb.com] to come blow it up?
Poor Girl is Panting. (Score:1)
-Heath
I hope these robots don't run Windows (Score:2)
customer: MS there ? your MassageXP Robot mark I has been stuck on my *****.
MS: could you tell us the product's serial number ?
customer: I can't f****** reach it from here!!!
MS: maybe you should reboot it Sir.
customer: hmmm...it has gone in sleep mode. (customer presses reboot button).
customer: but it does not go away!!! it keeps saying about product activation or something!!!
MS: Sir, you are usi
stressed out (Score:1)
Time to get the MindStorms kit out... (Score:1)
The "Enema" massage at malls... (Score:3, Informative)
I recently saw it in Myrtle Beach in November. What I was most surprised is the number of people testing it out. It looked like a "Micheal Jackson Oxygen Sleeper" or a Cryo Chamber from "Aliens or 2001". Although, mainly men seemed to be interested as the girl running it was model quality attractive.
Here is just a picture of another one: Water Massage [ultimatewatermassage.com]
a little "artsy" (Score:2)
Grow up. In the mean time, if anyone massaged me with the pressure those things are likely capable of, I'd ask them togive up and try walking on my back instead.
usually I have a smart ass comment (Score:2)
(This coming from a Lords of Acid fan
bah... (Score:1)
from the bending unit dept?? (Score:2)
TickleBots (Score:2, Interesting)
Although, mapping the contours of the body is interesting. Combine that with an expert system and a robotic head that can apply friction, point pressure, rolling and spreading motions with various degrees of pressure and you have a real massage robot. Add head, cold, and therapeutic EMS
Re:Not my cup of tea (Score:1)