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Handhelds Hardware

Get Your New Handheld...in Butter. 167

Wow. That's about all I can say to the 50 pound PDA made out of butter currently on eBay. Obviously, the Dairy Council got to them.
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Get Your New Handheld...in Butter.

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  • by Anonymous Coward
    I wish I could post the crap that I'm selling on Ebay to Slashdot, I'd get better sales for sure!
  • Great! (Score:4, Funny)

    by xiangpeng ( 324117 ) on Friday August 31, 2001 @01:34PM (#2239777) Homepage
    great, now i need to keep my PDA below 30C.
  • ... can it run Linux?
  • by Anonymous Coward
    Around here butter goes for about $4 a lb...
    Who knows how high the bidding will get, but it's a good deal at the moment.

    Plus butter goes great with hot grits.
  • I see no reason anyone would want this. What are you supposed to do with it when you win? surely not anything on their top ten list. The only thing to do with a big hunk of butter in the shape of a palm is to be laughed at.
  • Hrm.. (Score:5, Funny)

    by Bob McCown ( 8411 ) on Friday August 31, 2001 @01:36PM (#2239791)
    I can't believe its not Palm!
  • What's scarier (Score:3, Insightful)

    by Traicovn ( 226034 ) on Friday August 31, 2001 @01:36PM (#2239793) Homepage
    I don't know which is weirder. The fact that someone actually made this and is selling it on ebay, the fact that someone has actually placed a bid on it, or the fact that it made it to slashdot. I think my favorite things to see sold on ebay yet though were people who were selling their virginity, or their souls. Even if you never buy anything off ebay, it's fun just to type in some random word and see what comes up.
    Anyone know the freshness date on the butter palm? Or maybe the butter palm is for people who have butter for their hands and are always dropping their palm-pilot/cellphone :)
  • I'm sure that using all that butter you could make and sculpt at least 3 mac n cheese palms....
  • is a Venus de Milo in butter, some bread, and I'd be set for life.
  • by Dr. Dew ( 219113 ) on Friday August 31, 2001 @01:38PM (#2239807) Homepage
    "...no, I told him I thought the latest Palm designs were cheesy!"

  • Damn, it's a sculpture.

    I thought it's a real PDA. :-)
  • If we were to make one of these [imac.com] the same way, would that be an iMac and cheese?
  • Butter doesn't conduct static electricity, so all hotsync'ing problems should go away :)
  • by Outlet of Me ( 90657 ) on Friday August 31, 2001 @01:40PM (#2239822)
    I've heard of greasing palms before, but this is ridiculous...
  • by MillMan ( 85400 ) on Friday August 31, 2001 @01:41PM (#2239826)
    As soon as I read this I knew there was only one place in the world where this would be done, the Minnesota state fair. Every year there is a "beauty contest" and the winner along with the runners up get a butter sculpture in the likeness of their head (the winner represents the Minnesota dairy industry). So now there are a number of groups around who do things like this. I didn't expect people to try and make money off of it, though.
    • I didn't expect people to try and make money off of it, though.

      I always expect people will try to make money off of everything;-)
    • Every year there is a "beauty contest" and the winner along with the runners up get a butter sculpture in the likeness of their head.

      I guess in Minnesota calling someone a "butter face" is a compliment.

    • They aren't trying to make money off of this, so much as trying to benifit a good cause. They say that the money from the auction is going to go to the 4H foundation, which makes a lot of sense. If it wasn't for 4H and the FFA most state fairs would be nothing more then a carnival these days. Its the kids involved in these programs that are involved in the agricultural exhibits.

      This is basically an oversize version of the classic "cake auction" where a business might buy the blue ribbon cake for several hundred dollars, more to give the money to the 4H program then anything else. I'd much rather they do this then just throw the thing away.
      • Yup, 4-H needs your support. It's more than animals and plants. This year and last year my daughter (okay, so I'm bragging now--shoot me if I'm proud of my children) won the North/Central district public presentation contest. Last year was about paper-making and this was about Sheep to Shawl, past and present. Talked about how wool comes from sheep, yarn comes from wool, and sweaters come from wool.
    • Princess Kay of the Milky Way is not a beauty pageant.

      Of course, the winner is never particularly ugly, but the cow-handling requirements keep most of the Miss America types out of the running.
    • They should have the Battle Bot people outbid one another to have the privledge of cutting it up in the Battle Bot competition only a few blocks away on Machinery Hill.

      Imagine that--the home-constructed battle bots competing to smash the butter PDA to bits. Butter everywhere, bots covered in butter, the fans covered in butter, the bots beating one another up.

      Alas, I couldn't see anything at the Battle Bot competion because it was too crowded. Oh well.

      The MN state fair is so awesome...
    • No, not only the Minnesota State Fair. This year at the Iowa State Fair, there was, in addition to the traditional butter cow, a butter John Wayne. (In the past there's been a butter Elvis and a butter Garth Brooks.) I hope that Ms. Duffy Lyon, the sculptress who does the Iowa butter sculpture, will be a bit more high tech next year.
    • New York State Fair (Score:3, Informative)

      by Russ Nelson ( 33911 )
      The New York State Fair has a butter sculpture every year. It's usually the size of a refrigerator. A couple of years ago, it *was* a refrigerator, with milk, eggs, and cheese in it. A couple of kids were stealing the chocolate milk out of it, and had spilled some.

      Yeah, and the whole thing was made out of butter.
  • It's the Mother Teresa bun [bongojava.com] for our modern, secular age!
  • Talk about getting greasy palms.
  • It looks like it didn't win any prizes in the dairy products [mnstatefair.org] or sculpture [mnstatefair.org] categories. Shame, it looks good.
  • As usual..

    "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of..."
  • OY, my cholesterol
  • I'll be up at the State Fair this weekend. I hope the butter PDA is still there so I can try to pass it a virus. You think it's got a port for me to 'plug in'?

    BTW, the butter sculpting is one of the grand old traditions at the Minnesota State Fair, the biggest state fair in the USA. The State Fair queen gets her likeness carved out of butter every year, and I know they sent David Letterman a bust of himself a few years ago.
  • At the Minnesota State Fair, the regional Dairy Princesses [startribune.com] have their likenesses carved into a 90 lb block [midwestdairy.com]of butter. It's one of the big attractions every year at the Fair.
  • by BobGregg ( 89162 ) on Friday August 31, 2001 @01:44PM (#2239863) Homepage
    10. Gives a whole new meaning to "palm oil".
    9. Runs so smooth... it's like butter.
    8. Stupid character recognition... I wrote "butter", but all it will say is "Parkay".
    7. Gives a whole new meaning to "butter fingers".
    6. And to think, they said my computer would be no substitute for a girlfriend. Boy, were THEY wrong.
    5. First ever computer with a "best used by" date.
    4. Would you like your PDA salted or unsalted?
    3. Gives a whole new meaning to "memory churn".
    2. I think heat dissipation is going to be a problem.

    And the number 1, absolute LAMEST joke about the Butter PDA:

    1. I think I've milked this long enough.
  • i'm gonna buy this thing, melt it in a 40-gallon cast iron frying pan, and cook myself a 120-lb Windows PC made out of CHICKEN!!!
  • At long last! She can cook my dinner with it and then when we're done I can rub it all over her and have mad kinky sex with her.

    Thanks EBAY!
  • Reminds me of the butter sculpture of N.C's own "Sodfather", Jim Grahm, (ex-Commisioner of Agriculture), at the N.C. State Fair.
  • Shipping? (Score:2, Insightful)

    And if you win, how the hell do you ship something like this. The seller has neglected to include the most important nugget.

    What major shipping carrier will ship a 50lb chunk of butter with a promise not to melt it?

    Maybe this is more of a proof of concept thing -- to see if people really *will* buy any old shit on Ebay.
    • In all seriousness, a larg insulated crate and some dry ice would keep the butter very cool for days.

      It would be fun to destroy it creatively, though.
  • I can't help but wonder if Miguel [fatchicksinpartyhats.com] uses one of these.
  • For the last time, Quit Playing With Your Food!
  • Behold the [processor] power of Cheese!
  • Now we know what The Evil Business Guy Made Of Butter [angryflower.com] used for a PDA!
  • by Geoff ( 968 )
    Does this promote software bloat?
  • by jayhawk88 ( 160512 ) <jayhawk88@gmail.com> on Friday August 31, 2001 @01:52PM (#2239921)
    Yes, that's right, it's a fake. Proof? Consider the following:

    - The picture shows the words "Palm VII x" across the top, but there is no antenna visible on the right side of the unit.

    - The unit itself seems to be out of proportion with real VII x's by nearly 7 millimeters width.

    - The "Login" button on the front screen is missing the "send information" icon (looks like waves moving out from a point) that is the staple of almost all Palm Portal online applications.

    - The front panel buttons seem to be positioned wrong. The real up and down buttons on VII x's are centered approximately 3.5 mm farther down.

    - The "cradle" this unit is sitting in is cleary missing the Palm logo on the front, as well as any visible HotSync button.

    - The entire unit seems to be yellow in color and made of butter. This may be a result of a bad picture, but real VII x's are made of plastic and are black in color, with the distinctive "Palm green" monochrome screen.

    Cleary this is the work of someone very skilled in Photoshop. I wonder if this is a retaliation by Palm after the recent FCC screwup [palminfocenter.com] with their new i705, to try and generate more interest in the VII x? Or perhaps it is the work of Palm-knockoff pirate organizations in Tailand or China, eager to flood the PDA hungry US market with cheap, imitation Palms.
  • The best part... (Score:3, Insightful)

    by glowingspleen ( 180814 ) on Friday August 31, 2001 @01:54PM (#2239929) Homepage
    The best part is that they actually put a RESERVE PRICE on it. As if it's got enough shelf life for them to really wait for the best price...for a CHARITY AUCTION no less. Bwhahaha...
    • Errr, butter actually has a very long shelf life. Probably not the sort of shelf life that would hold the shape for a while, but it would stay good enough to eat.
  • All jokes aside, you know a piece of technology has become a cultural phenomenon when some person (or people) take the time to create it's likeness in a statue of butter.

  • It isn't that big, nor is it all that impressive. You guys should see the butter heads they have at the Fair - all of the royal court, lead by "Princess Kay of the Milky Way." [the-land.com]

    I know I'm a goon for saying this, but it's a pretty cool sight. I'm disappointed because there seems to be less and less of a family farming feel to the fair every year.

  • it's for charity. The money goes to 4H.. although the reserve is probably a little out of my budget.
  • I can't believe it's butter :)
  • 50 lbs. of butter : $200.00

    Dry Ice : $10.00

    Shipping Costs : $40.00

    Being able to update your schedule and check off items on your to-do list by eating breakfast?

    Some things in life you can't put a price on, for everything else, there's the Butter Palm &copy :)

  • Butter. (Score:5, Funny)

    by fobbman ( 131816 ) on Friday August 31, 2001 @02:03PM (#2239980) Homepage

    "Rather than see the world's first, largest, and most beautiful, Butter PDA go to waste, we recognized the market demand for such an item [Emphasis personally added]and now offer it to the public in a charity auction."

    Who was polled in this market study, a tub of Parkay?

    Interviewer: "What sort of changes or enhancements would need to be made to handheld computers of today to make you more likely to purchase one in the future?"

    Small Plastic Tub: "Butter."

    Marketing Department: *ding*

  • Homer says: (Score:2, Funny)

    by ocie ( 6659 )
    Marge: Homer, is that my good butter?
    Homer: Quiet Marge! I'm trying to work. And now to write another delicious memo.
    • A bread wallet to protect your PDA.
    • a pluggable keyboard made out of cheese.
    • The credit cards will have to be made out of ham now (if you're afraid someone will steal it, eat it!).
    • The stylus should be made out of _______ (you fill it in).

    Now, this is lame. When I see a PDA made out of peanut butter, then we'll talk (creamy or crunchy? Now, there's a great flame war).

  • So how do you ship a 50 pound slab of butter? In any case I'd get it insured. :)
  • If you drop it, which side lands down?
  • and my story submissions about athlons and p4s and new hardware and comparisons don't get posted, and I never see any other stories about them either...

    if ( random(10) == 0 )

    • Actually, slashdot is written in perl so...

      if ($submit_count % 1000 = 0) { # one in one thousand
      update_database($accept_random, $submit_count);
      } elseif ($submit_topic eq "interesting") {
      update_database($accept, $submit_count);
      } else {
      update_database($rejected, $submit_count);

  • I guess this means truly thin computing isn't quite here yet, at least not if the fellow who buys it uses it all on his buttered corn. :)

  • by Rupert ( 28001 ) on Friday August 31, 2001 @02:18PM (#2240066) Homepage Journal
    There is a business card for the sculptor in the case. It says he is immediately available. So next time I need a butter sculpture in a hurry, I'll know who to call. Or rather, I won't, because he wasn't beaming his card out of the butter PDA.

    ObOffTopic: it was right next to the Unisys booth. They were demoing an electronic voting system. plover and I both voted twice (if you remove the smart card from the reader after it authenticates you at the beginning of the transaction but before you complete it lets you vote again). I hear it's already installed in Florida.
  • This is... (Score:5, Funny)

    by carlos_benj ( 140796 ) on Friday August 31, 2001 @02:29PM (#2240122) Journal
    much butter than the one I'm using now. With the larger screen you can make notes in the margarine and not just the body of the document. And what a spread(sheet) application! Video scrolls very smoothly pasturize as you watch full screen MooPGs and PowerPint presentations.

    Many pundits have had a cow over this thing, some going so far as to declare it udderly ridiculous. Others believe it will saturate the market as readily as this reporter's pants and shirt. If the producers stick to their plans, this device should pound the competition within the next quart-er. Of course, that's provided they don't let this opportunity slip through their fingers. There is some concern about keeping up with demand and they may have to farm out some of the manufacturing to avoid a melt-down if things begin to heat up.
  • Man, those lobbyists will do anything to grease the palms of industry.

    This kind of blatant merchandising really churns me up. I mean, you know they're skimming right off the top.


  • We've known for some time that Palm and Handspring operated on razor-thin profit margarines.
  • very cheap butter
  • by selan ( 234261 )
    Okay, this has got to be Stef Murky's [userfriendly.org] idea. :)
  • I can't belive it's not a PDA!
  • Do we rate it in calories or MHz (mega-herdz)?
  • Why is there a reserve price? It would be foolish for the seller to think they could make money selling a giant butter sculpture (let alone one that looks like a PDA). They should be trying as hard as they possibly can to get rid of it...

    Then there's the continual monetary drain due to needing to keep the sculpture refrigerated (who has a refrigerator that big?). They must pay someone to keep it refrigerated for them.

    If I were the seller, I'd have no reserve and a low "Buy Now" price. Come to think of it, if I were the seller, I never would have ended up with a fifty pound butter PDA in the first place.
  • This is just what that American Pie kid needs.
  • Can I hot sync it with my fridge?
  • but the Newton had a 70-lb shortening version about 6 years ago. It had difficulty with handwriting because of a faulty butter knife attachment.

    Prior to that, I understand NEC had managed to create a dried-apple head version of a cash register, but the disturbing pop-up No Sale key frightened young children.
  • A New Hope (Score:1, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward
    Episode IV

    It is a period of civil war, Rebel boxes, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Corky Empire.

    During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal and destroy secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the Bang Dollar, a 1U space station with enough horsepower to destroy an entire network.

    Pursued by the Empire's sinister agent, Prince h4x0r races home aboard his webserver, custodian of the stolen data that can save his people and restore freedom to the workplace...

  • Under the site's "Top 10 things to do with a 50lb butter PDA":

    4. Healthy Midwestern snack that melts in your mouth not in your Palm

    Putting aside the obvious issue of how 50lbs of butter can possibly be healthy, who on earth eats straight butter for a snack?

    (Well, I suppose that somebody does, but they probably gave it up after their quadruple-bypass.)

    Digital pants...ACTIVATE!

  • by GrBear ( 63712 )
    Has anyone told Compaq they used the wrong bovine output when they built the iPaq?
  • Pack some crackers around it, and present it as a snack tray at a Handspring developer's confrence.

    Lunch for my highschool gym teacher

    Pack a dozen m80s in the middle during the M$ presentation at comedex...

    Leave it in the hotel lobby at Defcon. Nuff said.

    Tell Condit there's a cute intern in the middle.

    Carve a Windows CE startup screen on it, and sacrifice at in a satanic ritual by slowly lowering it into the fire

    Feed it to the neighbor's rotweiler- Give em diarrea for life.

    It's for the children!

    Tell Micheal Jackson theres a little boy in the middle.

    Cowboy Neal

"An organization dries up if you don't challenge it with growth." -- Mark Shepherd, former President and CEO of Texas Instruments