Death to the Trapezoid... Next USB Connector Will Be Reversible 408
TheRealHocusLocus writes "Extreme bandwidth is nice, intelligent power management is cool... but folks should be spilling into the streets in thankful praise that the next generation miniature USB connector will fit either way. All told — just how many intricate miracle devices have been scrapped in their prime — because a tiny USB port was mangled? For millennia untold chimpanzees and people have been poking termite mounds with round sticks. I for one am glad to see round stick technology make its way into consumer electronics. Death to the trapezoid, bring back the rectangle! So... since we're on roll here... how many other tiny annoyances that lead to big fails are out there?"
The new connector will be smaller too.
fit both ways (Score:5, Funny)
Even worse... (Score:5, Funny)
USB cables are 4 dimensional (Score:5, Funny)
Apologies if this appears twice. It looks like slashdot ate the first attempt.
Re:fit both ways (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Even worse... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Doesn't Apple have a patent on this? (Score:5, Funny)
Very well designed until you step on one in bare feet, anway.
Re:Doesn't Apple have a patent on this? (Score:3, Funny)
You really think that those are well designed? It looks like russian solution for me. While it's harder to die from an electric shock, one can easily kill somebody else with such plug :-)
Re:Even worse... (Score:5, Funny)
I find if I go to plug in a USB connector, it's best to change your mind at the last minute and turn it over because you're *always* wrong first time.
Unfortunately, the only times that I would not be wrong the first time are the times I do this. There is no way to win.
Re:Even worse... (Score:5, Funny)
Damn it, Jim, a spin-1/2 connector!
USB connections are quantum entangled. At the other side of the wormhole there's a reality where you've spent your entire life getting the usb in in the first try.
In that reality you're rich and powerful.
Re:Even worse... (Score:5, Funny)
It's a practical application of the Monty Hall Problem
Re:Apple All Over Again (Score:4, Funny)
Unlike Lightning, this is just a connector for USB 2/3, not a whole new interface. A dumb, cheap adaptor should suffice. (Unlike Lightning to 30-pin adaptors which are basically tiny protocol droids translating between the two.)
The image I get in my head is a miniature C-3P0 inside the connector talking very quickly.
Re:Even worse... (Score:5, Funny)
USB plugs only fit in after they are observed, Before that, they are in superposition. See http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/4555650/The+Quantum+state+of+a+USB/ [funnyjunk.com] for an explanation.
Re:fit both ways (Score:4, Funny)
That's immoral
Only if you are a religious bigot.
I actually believe that all sets of cabling should be treated the same. I object to bigots telling me that I shouldn't stick a USB connector into an SAE AS 50151 B [sae.org] 500 amp connector.
Re:Small Connectors (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Even worse... (Score:5, Funny)
Equally, for micro/mini USB, have you ever tried plugging in your phone in the dark,
The process goes something like: gently push. Doesn't work. wiggle a bit. Still doesn't work. Flip over and try again. Neither of those work either. Then repeat a little bit harder until eventually it goes in or breaks.
Fun fact: apparently on the nexus 5 you can jam in the connector upside down quite easily!
Re:Apple All Over Again (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Even worse... (Score:5, Funny)
That is what you get for using a Universal Schrodinger Bus connector.
Re:fit both ways (Score:5, Funny)
Ruins the sanctity of cabling.
No, it's all natural when the cabling is born that way. If you want to see ruined sanctity, ram a current USB plug in the wrong way...
But I say this is only the first step. Next we must eradicate male - female difference, and have just one plug-socket which will fit, work and feel good no matter how you do the coupling.
Re:Small Connectors (Score:5, Funny)
I greatly prefer regular-sized USB to micro-USB, they sit much better in the slot.
oh, c'mon, that is SO what she said!
The ancient future awaits! (Score:5, Funny)
Is the fact that the standard USB connection (rectangle) is not really 180 degrees symmetric (despite a shape that indicates it should be), usually takes 3+ attempts to get it in. Damn it, Jim, a spin-1/2 connector!
Protip: The USB emblem goes "up". The logo is trademarked, and without it the cables are too frustrating to use. An interesting feat of human engineering indeed.
Now, let us travel through time far enough into the future that we come to appreciate the greatest connector design possible:
First, consider the connector with zero lines of symmetry, such as USB, or a polarized pronged plug. There is a 2D plane that the connector travels orthogonal to and which it must breech in order to complete a connection docking sequence. Consider this plane slicing through your connector and receptacle's contacts. Note that there is one receptacle surface for one connector pin passing through the docking plane.
To the Future! Copy and rotate your receptor 180 degrees in place along the docking plane. Eliminate any conflicting isolation surfaces, and move the pins such that they do not interact with each the other's connection surfaces. Now you have a reversible connector with one line of symmetry in the receptacle. The connector pins can occupy both sets of receptacle contact surfaces, but need only occupy one position to complete the electrical circuits.
Advance! Now we will perform the same step again, but with a 90 degree increment. Behold! A square connector!
60 degrees? Hexagonal connectors! Note that just imagining it we can nearly taste the hex filled future!
Onward, to 45 degrees, and to victory! Octagonal connections even mirror our futurist desire to slice the corners from our square UI windows, and tabs.
Oh integration, you foul beast. Clearly to see furthest into the future we must have infinite lines of symmetry in our docking plane -- BUT HOW?! With all pins occupying all positions across the USB connector, the left side interacts with the right side. Since connector pins need only exist in one position we need only make the connector pins have zero lines of symmetry -- move all the connector pins to one side. Simultaneously we have a perfectly round receptacle -- Ah, but all intersecting isolation surfaces are removed, this leaves us with only a flat ring of contacts and several pins.
So, now we will enter a new Dimension! We can stretch the docking plane in the 3rd dimension along the orthogonal connection axis! BEHOLD! We have discovered the most futuristic connector of all time! The Head Phone Jack!
Now, what's old can finally be new again. Story time is over, now get off my lawn.
Things you do in the dark (Score:5, Funny)
The process goes something like: gently push. Doesn't work. wiggle a bit. Still doesn't work. Flip over and try again. Neither of those work either. Then repeat a little bit harder until eventually it goes in or breaks.
Wait, we're still talking about USB ports here, right?