Kinect: You Are the Controlled 156
theodp writes "GeekWire reports on a newly-surfaced Microsoft patent application for 'Targeting Advertisements Based on Emotion', which describes how information gleaned from Kinects, webcams, online games, IMs, email, searches, webpage content, and browsers could be used to build an 'Emotional State Database' of individuals' emotions over time for advertisers to tap into. From the patent application: 'Weight-loss product advertisers may not want their advertisement to appear to users that are very happy. Because, a person that is really happy, is less likely to purchase a self-investment product that leverages on his or her shortcomings. But a really happy person may purchase electronic products or vacation packages. No club or party advertisers want to appear when the user is sad or crying. When the user is emotionally sad, advertisements about club parties would not be appropriate and may seem annoying or negative to the user. Online help or technical support advertisers want their advertisements to appear when the user is demonstrating a confused or frustrated emotional state.'"
Why am I thinking of the old Clippy cartoon... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Why am I thinking of the old Clippy cartoon... (Score:5, Funny)
You appear to be in love... would you like to order a box of Trojans? Please drop your pants so we can determine the correct size for you.
You appear to be forever alone... would you like to order a Smith & Wesson? Or would you prefer to order Mountain Dew and Cheetos?
You appear to be annoyed... would you like to order a BV Chardonnay?
You appear to be masturbating... would you like to order a fleshlight?
You appear to be attempting self-fellatio... would you like numbers for local cosmetic surgeons?
You appear to be smoking refer... would you like to order Clenbuterol?
You have thrown your controller at the television... would you prefer a new Samsung or anger management classes?
You appear to be horny... check out these barely legal MILF transgender hotties!
You appear bored... whatever you do, don't walk away from your television. We'll find something!
You appear to have beaten your wife... The Law Offices of Gettum, Smackem, and Gethoffski are here to serve you.
You appear to be fat and slovenly... increasing general tax rate to compensate for your poor choices or you can do 50 jumping jacks.
You appear to be thinking independently... calling local authorities and scheduling time in Room 101.
Re:Why am I thinking of the old Clippy cartoon... (Score:5, Funny)
You appear to be horny... check out these barely legal MILF transgender hotties!
Couldn't resist. Had to Google.
Is this soviet russia? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Why am I thinking of the old Clippy cartoon... (Score:3, Funny)
Ceiling Clippy is watching you masturbate!
Re:Why am I thinking of the old Clippy cartoon... (Score:3, Funny)
My current favorites are ads for Google+ on Google+.