McDonalds Free Wi-Fi Users Soak Up Seating 500
bfire writes "McDonalds has earmarked potential changes to seating plans in some restaurants to prevent free Wi-Fi users from monopolizing seating, particularly in peak periods. The availability of Wi-Fi means people are now spending 35 minutes in McDonalds — rather than the average ten minutes that patrons used to spend eating there. But it appears not everyone is happy with the increased 'stickiness' of customers, with some licensees in Australia reporting that Wi-Fi users aren't turning over seats fast enough. The restaurant chain is considering options including space demarcation to deal with the problem."
Solution: Block Slashdot (Score:5, Funny)
Because we all know they are just sitting there waiting to get first post.
Oh wait...
Coffee (Score:3, Funny)
HEYO!
Re:Simple Solution (Score:5, Funny)
And they employ sock puppets to promote their company on slashdot, too!
I still prefer my coffee shop. (Score:3, Funny)
Even if I did eat McDonalds food there I don't think I like the atmosphere enough to stay. There coffee tastes like piss anyway. With all the great local free wifi around where I live I'd have to be pretty desperate to go there. Simple solution: open up a coffee shop next door.
Why people only stay seated for 10 minutes.. (Score:5, Funny)
rather than the average ten minutes that patrons used to spend eating there
I only ever sat there for 10 minutes because that's all it took for the diarrhea to activate after eating that addictive crap. Sitting any longer and the chairs would be a different color.
Re:Since when does McDonald's want 'sticky' custom (Score:5, Funny)
They don't want sticky customers. The signs in the bathrooms require that employees wash hands. But you know, the last time I was there, no employee would wash my hands... I wanted to complain but people made me leave.
They're all Googling "Heart Disease" (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Since when does McDonald's want 'sticky' custom (Score:1, Funny)
Australian McDonalds restaurants are mostly http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McCafe these now. They have friendlier interiors, provide newspapers and make coffee thats slightly better than it used to be. And, they sell slurpees. Nerd Heaven.
Re:Turn it off when there are no seats. Duh. (Score:5, Funny)
I've read over your post four times now and I still have no idea what your point is.
Something about hot dogs? Now I'm all hungry again after dinner, thanks.
Re:What was the business plan? (Score:4, Funny)
I thought compact fluorescent lamps ran comparatively cooler than incandescent.
Re:Since when does McDonald's want 'sticky' custom (Score:4, Funny)
They don't want sticky customers. The signs in the bathrooms require that employees wash hands. But you know, the last time I was there, no employee would wash my hands... I wanted to complain but people made me leave.
If your hands were sticky after leaving the bathroom stall, the employees were right to refuse service.
Solve the problem with trap doors under the seats (Score:3, Funny)
Tell the users that they can use the wireless until a trap door opens up underneath them and they are dumped into a vat of boiling french fries. Their times are announced by some junior on front counter with a megaphone.
"Come in number 192.168.1.121, your time is up"
Re:Coffee (Score:4, Funny)
How is that a change?
Re:Coffee (Score:4, Funny)
Or make the wifi users eat McDonalds food. That'll kill them off quickly, freeing up all those valuable seats.
--
Slow Poke [pair.com]
Re:They're all Googling "Heart Disease" (Score:1, Funny)
Considering McD's was founded in '55 (someone wiki that, I'm not entirely sure, and I'm lazy), I think you might be off a little. Ultimately, you can't assign death to McDs, you can assign it to poor standard of living, or even poor intake of food and an utter lack of exercise (thanks car culture), but McDs is a symptom, not a cause.
McD's does what any other business does. Sell you something you want. In their case, they sell fast, cheap and tasty food. Don't deny it, you've eaten there, I've eaten there, and so has everyone else reading this. The difference between you, I, and the guy dying of a heart attack right now is that I run 2 miles a day and eat McD's once a month at most.
I believe the appropriate epitaph here is "all things in moderation" (except women, you can never have too much woman, even if it kills you, it was totally worth it)
Re:I still prefer my coffee shop. (Score:3, Funny)
So you confess to going into their store when you normally wouldn't and purchasing stuff? You utter bastard! Heaven forbid they earned a little more money that day. It's anarchists like you that make a mockery of cheap promotional stunts by honest, hardworking advertising executives.
Re:What was the business plan? (Score:3, Funny)
If we're going to quibble about poor spelling on an international forum here I may as well horrify many of the Americans here by stating that three of the coffees you can get are flat white, long black and short black. A few Aussies have been badly misuderstood in the USA when they asked African-American waitressess for a short black. Bonus points in the South if they think you are gay as well as racist in asking for a long black.
Re:PANERA solved this, by limits during peak hours (Score:5, Funny)
Thankfully, I have GNU macchanger installed
You can also use /etc/network/interfaces:
iface bond0 inet dhcp
hwaddress ether de:ca:fb:ad:d0:0d
For extra fun, send messages to Starbucks in your MAC.
Re:Coffee (Score:5, Funny)
Surely you mean Big MAC addresses?
Re:Simple Solution (Score:3, Funny)
Have you seen MacDonalds' customers? Most of them bring extra seat padding with them! You'd need to have seats with 6 inch nails hammered upwards through the seat in order to penetrate the comfy cushions of flab...
Re:Coffee (Score:2, Funny)
I guess you could say that after 20 minutes you need to buy another MAC muffin?
Define kid friendly (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Coffee (Score:4, Funny)
They could simply stop sending the client webpages and start sending "Your time is up, thank you for eating at McDonald's! =D" pages after 15 minutes.
Re:Since when does McDonald's want 'sticky' custom (Score:5, Funny)
Well then.. what do you call a Quarter pounder in Chile?
McRoyale with cheese, motherfucker?
Re:Solution: Block Slashdot (Score:5, Funny)
Losers?
Re:Beyond Simple, just apply common sense! (Score:5, Funny)
I got a vasectomy for a reason.
In your case, wouldn't that be like winterizing a home in Florida?
Re:Simple Solution (Score:5, Funny)
And they employ sock puppets to promote their company on slashdot, too!
Food, wi-fi, AND a puppet show? Man, I am never leaving this place!
insights for goldfish (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Coffee (Score:2, Funny)