How Office Depot Pushes Service Plans On Customers 417
Harry writes "I was amused, appalled, and angry — yes, all three — when I spotted signs above every register at my local Office Depot with handy scripts for clerks to use in 'recommending' that customers buy extra-cost, extremely profitable protection plans. And now Laptop Magazine has posted an eye-opening investigative report that charges local Office Depot stores with instructing staffers to lie and tell people who want to buy laptops without service plans that they're out of stock." Update: 03/13 00:53 GMT by T : An employee with Office Depot, somewhere in the southeastern US, wrote to respond to this story as a employee of the company, but in his off time and not in any official capacity:
"I will only say that what is described in your article and the Laptop
Mag article is not something that occurs across the entire company as
sanctioned or ordered by the Corporate Higher Ups and is certainly
nothing I have experienced as a 10-year employee of the company, we
want sales. Yes, we want add-ons, but we will take the sales regardless."
The More You Read the Uglier It Gets (Score:5, Funny)
Remember, you're helping them by saving them the loss N years from now when it breaks and they didn't buy an N + 1 year warranty.
Re:Better Question (Score:5, Funny)
Why would you buy a computer at office depot?
Because you need something with enough mass to make it through the store window when you plan on returning it?
Because you don't feel satisfied with a computer purchase unless you know you've been ripped off?
Because Office Depot is the only place that will extend you credit because you put a months worth of hookers and blow on your creditcard?
Am I the only one ... (Score:1, Funny)
that read "How Office Depot Pushes..." as "Home Depot Pushes..." and wondered why you'd want a service plan for a screwdriver and a sheet of plywood?
Yabbut... (Score:5, Funny)
Wait till they get a patent on this method!
Re:Best Buy tried this as well to "fight" piracy. (Score:5, Funny)
"Sir, I saw you put those CDs in your pants. Are you stealing them?"
"Yes, well I wasn't going to download these, but then I saw your sign..."
Re:Best Buy tried this as well to "fight" piracy. (Score:5, Funny)
-wasn't
+was
Guess I should have bought an extended warranty on my original post.
An Old Adage and a Modern One (Score:2, Funny)
Since the days of the Romans, the adage has been "Caveat emptor." (Let the buyer beware.)
Now Modern Marketing has their own adage: "Carpe emptor!" (Seize the buyer.)
Let the Battle of the Adages Begin!
I've got a better script. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Yabbut... (Score:4, Funny)
Wait till they get a patent on this method!
Exactly. We have the patent system so that new ideas do not become widely available to society, thereby confining the damage.
Re:Best Buy tried this as well to "fight" piracy. (Score:2, Funny)
Will they replace a candy bar under the plan? (Score:3, Funny)
Will they replace a candy bar under the plan?
I can see it now.
Just buy a candy bar and they ask do you want a protection plan you say yes eat it right there and ask them How do I make a clam?
As for batteries will they give new ones for free when they go dead or does the plan cost more then the batteries?
Re:Appaling? (Score:2, Funny)
That's a good word.
Actually, it's not. Appalling is a word, but not appaling.
Re:Best Buy tried this as well to "fight" piracy. (Score:3, Funny)
Sir, you didn't purchase any music CDs today, so I must believe you have stolen CDs. Please strip naked and prepare for a cavity search. On another note, remember to have your handy RIAA Support badge worn for a low low purchase price of $100 to avoid being hassled on the way out of our store.
Re:Will they replace a candy bar under the plan? (Score:4, Funny)
clam
Get a mother clam, a father clam, and put them in a clamhouse.
Re:Here is what I do (Score:5, Funny)
Or you could try my favorite.
Oh its out of stock? Damn thought you guys had a good service plan too. Guess I will go to insert other store here.
Magically in stock again? At register with item in hand. Service plan? What service plan? I didnt say I wanted one please take it off.
Bait and switch works BOTH ways.
Well, that's one problem I'll never have (Score:3, Funny)
I found one vintage keyboard model that I like, and I've stuck with it, accumulating them when they come up on eBay and various other places. The one I'm typing on now has dual English-Japanese key caps on it which, IMHO, is cool and different. I have to use an AT to PS2 converter, which I plug into a PS2 to USB converter. If anything supersedes USB (doesn't seem likely) it might get really ugly though.
Re:Well, that's one problem I won't have (Score:3, Funny)
If USB goes away... start collecting USB-equipped dumb terminals, as ethernet isn't going anywhere any time soon. Use them to VNC into your main computer, and just use it for the keyboard.
Re:Better Question (Score:5, Funny)
Re:An Old Adage and a Modern One (Score:4, Funny)
"Carpe emptorem!" Perhaps
Re:Here is what I do (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Better Question (Score:5, Funny)
Oh... OH. You meant BUY it. Nevermind.
How does that work? (Score:5, Funny)
While this is an annoying policy on paper, there are several ways I could see this actually playing out, and none of them really seem to work.
Scenario 1
Customer: "Hi, I want to buy this laptop"
Clerk: "You wanna buy an extended warranty?"
Customer: "No thanks"
Clerk: "We don't have any in stock"
Customer: "Uh... then yes I do?"
Clerk: "We just got some in right now!"
Customer: "Then I'll take one without the warranty."
Clerk: "Aw, what a shame, we just sold out."
Scenario 2
Clerk: "Hey, you seem interested in that there laptop, you want to buy one?"
Customer: "Sure."
Clerk: "Extended warranty?"
Customer: "No thanks"
Clerk: "Sorry, I just checked, we're out of stock"
Customer: "But... you didn't go anywhere, you didn't even act like you were looking in the stock room"
Clerk: "Uh... Telepathy!"
Scenario 3:
Customer: "I want this laptop."
Clerk: "You want extend waranty."
Customer: "No"
Clerk: "No computer in stock"
Customer: "Yes you do, this box right here, in my hand, I want to buy it."
Clerk: "Me ring up"
Customer: "Okay here"
(Customer hands computer to Clerk, Clerk smashes the computer with a primitive club)
Clerk: "No computer in stock."
Then again, I haven't worked in retail for a long time, maybe my "Lying to strangers" skills are rusty.
Re:The More You Read the Uglier It Gets (Score:5, Funny)
New great lie of history: "I'm from (wall street/mortgage broker/bank/investment firm) and I'm here to help."
Re:Company or store policy? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:read this for the real stormy on car sales men (Score:3, Funny)
IT vendors only exist so that people who are too evil to sell used cars have somewhere to work.
Re:Better Question (Score:5, Funny)
250MB hard disk
In this case, I think I'm going to have to agree with the OP.
Re:Better Question (Score:4, Funny)
Great! Point me to a local, non-national chain store to buy a netbook or MID (or laptop, for that matter) and I'm totally there.
Do you happen to live in Richfield, Minnesota? Because if that non-national part isn't a sticker, there's this company there called Best Buy you should look into.
If not, I'm 100% out of ideas.
Re:Office Despot (Score:5, Funny)
I suppose that's one way to think about it. Another is that since those drugs are illegal, they tend to be supplied by large drug-smuggling operations.
I run a mom-and-pop drug smuggling operation, you insensitive clod!
Re:The More You Read the Uglier It Gets (Score:5, Funny)
Circuit City is bankrupt. Apparently this tactic didn't actually keep them competitive.
Obviously they didn't lie enough.
Re:The More You Read the Uglier It Gets (Score:5, Funny)
I know the first two:
The check is in your mouth...
and
I won't cum in your mailbox...
Re:The More You Read the Uglier It Gets (Score:3, Funny)
#2 is: I won't cum in your mouth.
#3 is: I'll still respect you in the morning.
and #5 is: This won't hurt a bit.