Number of Cellphones Now Equal To Half the Human Species

netbuzz writes "A major milestone was reached today, according to communications industry analysts: there are now some 3.3 billion mobile phone accounts worldwide. Of course, it doesn't really mean half the world's population has a cell phone, since users in 59 countries average more than one per person. '"The mobile industry has constantly outperformed even the most optimistic forecasts for subscriber growth," Mark Newman, head of research at Informa said in a statement. "For children growing up today the issue is not whether they will get a mobile phone, it's a question of when," Newman said. In recent years the industry has seen surging growth in outskirts of China and India, helped by constantly falling phone and call prices, with cellphone vendors already eyeing inroads into Africa's countryside to keep up the growth.'"

I have two

[Anonymous Coward]

So I'm doing my part.

Next goal...

[TheMeuge]

Good for them. Now can they all please stop screaming into their phones as soon as my train comes up to the surface. Because if I have to endure one more time of "you won't believe what that bitch said to me" at 100dB and 6 inches away from my ear, I might snap.

OCPC?

[EmbeddedJanitor]

Perhaps One Cellphone Per Child is a more useful goal than OLPC? Much cheaper and likely far more useful.

I, for one

[noidentity]

I, for one, thank those in the 59 countries who have more than one cellphone so that I don't have to have one of those damn things.

Re:Never had one, probably never will.

[Anonymous Coward]

I don't own a TV. Never had one. I call it the idiot box. Yesterday at work some was talking about CNN. I was like "CNN, what's that some sort of new car or something?" The told me it was a news channel on TV. At that point I politely reminded them that I don't own a TV and never have.

and in other news...

[zappepcs]

Hello and 'can you hear me' are the first two phrases that people learn when learning a new language. I remember the days when it was "I'll have another drink please" and "where is the bathroom", followed closely by "what's your sign?"

Re:So there's only 0.5 cell phones?

[Anonymous Coward]

Or are their...

See, this is why silly, pointless nitpicking isn't a sound strategy.

Gentlemen, our end is nigh!

[4D6963]

Number of cellphones : half the number of humans
Number of women : half the number of humans

Let's see, men can hardly give them pleasure for more than 10 minutes, and we hardly can be arsed to listen to them unless an instance of giving them barely 10 minutes of pleasure hasn't occurred yet. Cellphones can vibrate on demand for hours on end, and women enjoy talking to them for hours too!

Let's face it, we are obsoleted by our technology, and now that there is one cell phone available for every single woman, they no more have a reason to let us live! It's only a matter of time before their collective intelligence realises this and decides to do away with us and for good! We are doomed!! Our only hope of survival is to kill them one by one before they kill us all! WHY ARE YOU STILL SITTING ON YOUR DAMN CHAIR, GET UP AND GO KILL YOUR GIRLFRIEND BEFORE SHE KILLS YOU!!!

Oh, well, that's for the ones among us who have one, of course.. meh.

The upcoming robot wars.

[w3woody]

So, are cell phones the advanced scouts for the upcoming and inevitable Robot Wars?

well

[genican1]

I for one welcome our up-and-coming wireless overlords!

Re:The future of computing

[noidentity]

For years I've been predicting that cellphones are destined to become the future of computing. They are the most powerful computers that we carry with us all the time, every day.

I prefer to carry around a much more powerful bowling-ball sized computer atop my neck.

Re:Better than landline infrastructure

[insertwackynamehere]

I'd carry a celphone distruptor before I'd cary a celphone.

Would you ever consider carrying a pocket dictionary maybe?