Apple iPhone Dissected 338
Conch writes "Only hours after the launch, the Apple iPhone has been dissected. The good folks at AnandTech violated one of the first iPhones to still our curiosity about whats inside the aluminum shell.
'Please note that we're doing this so you are not tempted to on your recent $500/$600 expenditure, while it is quite possible to take apart using easy to find tools we'd recommend against it as it will undoubtedly void your warranty and will most likely mar up the beautiful gadget's exterior.'"
Snuff movie (Score:5, Funny)
US$600 well spent on... (Score:2, Funny)
2. Figuring out if the iPhone has vestiges of unimplemented features (like how they found unused slots on the Mac Mini).
3. Seeing exactly which parts are from China, Taiwan and Korea.
4. And most importantly... iPorn! (is what you get when you cause your iPhone to do an iGoatse.)
Re:Wow (Score:5, Funny)
You'll be surprised. Most Mac people I know are poor, unemployed, and step on toes around their machines. But they were so convinced they should absolutely must get Apple, they would stay away from pot for a month to afford one.
This is just the beginning... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Wow (Score:4, Funny)
They probably weren't poor until they blew all their cash on Apple kit.
Also just hours after launch ... (Score:5, Funny)
This is indeed an opportunity for all kinds of modern enterpreneurs.
50 reasons the iPhone sucks (Score:1, Funny)
2. That button is the number 6.
3. It comes with an on-screen keyboard that is too small for all but children to operate.
4. Steve Jobs has been happily married to Bill Gates for the last ten years. The supposed rivalry between their companies is a marketing ploy.
5. It offers only 8GB of memory; the average Internet user's hard disk contains almost twice that in celebrity porn.
6. The built-in battery is non-rechargeable and non-removable. Once dead, it will have to be sent back to Apple to be replaced.
7. The average battery life (idle): 17 hours.
8. The average battery life (running iTunes): 68 minutes.
9. It will only run Apple's OS X, which science has proven to be the worst operating system ever.
10. The built-in web browser supports neither Flash nor Java.
11. The built-in spellcheck and auto-complete only understands American English.
12. The user cannot add new ringtones. Rather, he must select from a list of Steve Jobs quotes.
13. The cellular internet connection runs at a paltry 16kbps. At that speed, it's faster to write your own Internet.
14. To make it 'secure,' Apple is not allowing third-party developers to create programs for the iPhone. No, you will take what Apple gives you, and <i>you will like it</i>. I guess Apple learned its design strategies from <b>Joseph Stalin</b>.
15. Stephen Hawking will not be buying one.
16. Unless you also buy a two-year contract with AT&T, you have just bought a very expensive paperweight.
17. In fact, it is impossible to make the iPhone run on any network but AT&T's.
18. Some reviewers have commented that the iPhone is a sexy machine. Clearly, they have never felt a woman.
19. It is assembled in Taiwanese sweatshops while Apple pockets a 50% markup.
20. Did I mention that Apple is evil?
21. Apple has cut numerous features in order to make the release, including the ability to <i>make phone calls</i>.
22. Also crippled is the virtual keyboard, which lacks both punctuation and capitalization. good job apple way to spread decoherence in the english language lol
23. Early voice recognition was bugged to the point of being unusable: it would misdial all numbers as 1-900-SEXCHAT. The capability has been removed entirely, presumably following complaints.
24. Apple has announced that additional features may be added after release. Thank you, guys, for selling us a product that even you admit isn't finished. Thank you straight to Hell.
25. Besides, how are we supposed to get these updates without an <b>internet connection</b>?
26. Following the Apple pattern, the iPhone is incompatible with <b>Linux</b>.
27. Following the Apple pattern, the iPhone has no games. At all.
28. The screen is 320x480 pixels, a resolution beaten by the Apple II in the <b>1970's</b>.
29. To battle what they perceive as amorality, Apple has removed the 'vibrate' capability.
30. The iPhone costs <b>$600</b>. For that amount, you could save over 200 African families from malaria.
31. You could also buy a separate PDA and dedicated cell phone.
32. Or, if you <i>have to</i> have OS X, an older Apple laptop. And a dedicated cell phone.
33. Let me just say it again: 200 families.
34. It is a well-known fact that hand size is correlated with penile length. Keep this in mind when you want to buy a 3.5 inch phone.
35. All of the promotional videos (including the vaunted feature walkthrough) are <b>computer generated</b>.
36. Chris Tucker was originally set to play the Mac in Apple's TV ads. He was only replaced when Steve Jobs insisted on somebody "whiter."
37. Apple's design once again relies heavily on white with blue and gold tr
Re:The battery is not replaceable by design. (Score:4, Funny)
In my experience there are way too many people who shouldn't be allowed anywhere near a soldering iron.
Put down the soldering iron and back away. That's right, back away from the soldering iron.Re:Hooray Apple released a phone! (Score:3, Funny)
If you don't know what Cmd-Shft-TacoBellGrande is for, GTFO!
If you don't know what Cmd-Shft--- whaddayamean, I forgot to tick "Anonymous"?
AWWWW, FUCK! Delete! Delete!
Re:The battery is not replaceable by design. (Score:0, Funny)
Re:The battery is not replaceable by design. (Score:2, Funny)
6. This thing is useless without activation. If I decide I don't want Cingular, it's not even an ipod, it's a doorstop.
It's just a little bit too small to be much of an effective doorstop, I'm afraid.... :P Even if it would be a classy one.