The BlackBerry Orphans

theodp writes "The WSJ reports that the growing use of email gadgets is spawning a generation of resentful children. In addition to feeling neglected, kids fear BlackBerrys and Treos can put their lives in jeopardy as Mom and Dad type away while driving." From the article: "Like teenagers sneaking cigarettes behind school, parents are secretly rebelling against the rules. The children of one New Jersey executive mandate that their mom ignore her mobile email from dinnertime until their bedtime. To get around their dictates, the mother hides the gadget in the bathroom, where she makes frequent trips before, during and after dinner. The kids 'think I have a small bladder,' she says. She declined to be named because she's afraid her 12- and 13-year-old children might discover her secret."

Re:Quick

[Anonymous Coward]

Which just proves how screwed up some people's priorities are. My goal in life is to work as little as possible.

Re:My God!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Probably because we're not noteworthy.

I love my 9 month old son. I make sure I play him for a while before I head to school/work each day, and I make sure to spend some time with him each night before he goes to bed. That time can be feeding him time, crawling on the floor with him, or reading Dr. Seuss books to him (esp. Mr. Brown can Moo). Weekends, I get to play with him even more.

Not really that news worthy, since that's what's supposed to be happening.

HEADLINE: "Man spends time with son!"

Precisely

[Sycraft-fu]

It is perfectly possible to have gadgets like this, and not be attached to them. I have a smart phone since my work got one for me, with a data plan and so on. However it's not even set up to check my e-mail. Why? I just don't care. I check e-mail from 8-5, after that I'm on my own time. Either it's a critical problem that rates a phone call or it can wait until tomorrow. I don't have a family, I'm not married, it's just I am realistic about how important things are and I don't like my time being intruded upon. Having the device doesn't necessitate that I am glued to it all the time. It's just a nice cell phone that I can surf the net on when I want.

For Good Reason

[heli0]

"kids fear BlackBerrys and Treos can put their lives in jeopardy as Mom and Dad type away while driving."

BlackBerry tapping causes car-crunching chain reaction on I-5 [nwsource.com]

Odd.

[PieSquared]

I've always heard that the blackberry was addicting, which was why I was worried when my dad got one for his work. It hasn't been a problem, though. It makes a buzzing sound whenever he gets an email, and I hear it fairly often at dinner (and yea, we actually eat dinner together, 9/10 times). He doesn't answer it... he usually doesn't even look at it until the next morning. The easy way to do that is to remind people that it is just e-mail. E-mail != instant message. E-mail can wait for a response.

My dad manages IT for a small chain of banks, so sometimes he really is needed for something. If something important happens (usually an alarm going off, once or twice armed robbery...) then they'll call him. I rather suspect that this is true for *anyone.* If they really need a fast response they'll call - doesn't the blackberry itself offer voice service?

Perhaps it is something about my family... I never check my email more then once a day, either. People seem confused when I tell them I hadn't yet gotten their email 12 hours after they sent it. I have a cell phone - if it is important they'll call me.

How anyone can find themselves addicted to checking email or a blackberry is still beyond me. Then again what annoys me even more is a phone in a store... lets say you walk into a store for two reasons, to buy something and to ask if they'll be open on a minor holiday. You wait in a line, and when you get to the front you pay, then start to ask your question... and the phone rings. This person also asks if they'll be open for this minor holiday, but despite the fact that you bothered to come in, and just gave them money, they will always talk to the person on the phone first. What happened to the "hold" button? People are so addicted to instant communication these days that the person right in front of them gets shunted to the side.

Re:I'm A Government Mule

[Anonymous Coward]

That was different. When I was a kid, my mom was often on the phone with her mother or one of her friends. But this was at home when little or nothing else was going on. Because this was the day before cell phones, she was not on the phone while driving, at my concerts or little leage, in the movie theater, or at the dinner table. That's a big difference. My wife has a crackberry, but I don't think she is as bad as most of these people. Still, I often want to smash it bits in a field Office Space style. Sometimes when we go out to dinner or we are on vacation, I will take it and hide it, giving it back to her for set limited periods. What bothers me most is whole always connected, always reachable obsession that many workplaces are developing. It is so out of balance that is going to create a legion of OCD, burned out workers or a bunch of addicts with no attention span or ability to sit still at all. People need to remember that there was a time before crackberries and everyone having cell phones, and yet somehow we managed to survive. Though I have to admit, if I had one and I had not already seen what it did to my wife, I would probably be just as bad until I burned myself out.

-a

Re:My Strategy Exactly

[inviolet]

The compulsiveness is just that, an incredibly strong compulsion to 'just check my messages'. Resisting that compulsion is almost as destructive as giving in- you have a really hard time giving your kids the attention they deserve, simply because your brain is focused on something else.

I know of what you speak.

One thing I've found that works well to tame the compulsion, is to wear one of those thick rubber-bands around your wrist. Whenever you feel the urge coming on, stretch the rubber-band and then let it snap back against your wrist. Hard. Over time, the urges will fade, or even disappear.

It also works for over-eating, obsessing about a lover or an Ex, procrastinating, any sort of habitoid brain malfunction.

Re:Parents

[colourmyeyes]

Kids remember, vividly, how their parents treated them. Ignore your kids now and you shall reap what you've sown. You won't care if that client doesn't call you in 20 years.

Then again, if you're such a lousy parent now, will you care if your kids don't call in 20 years?

Re:That's why they call it the Crackberry.

[DragonWriter]

I actually had a boss who told me that I didn't love the company if I pursued a personal life during my off hours.

I actually had a boss who told employees that, since we were in salaried, exempt positions, we didn't actually have "off hours", just time that we happened to be away from the office.

Re:Teens Making Parents Come to the Dinner Table?

[ImaLamer]

That's why I propose that you turn kids into personal secretaries.

There is no need to exclude them from your daily lives when you can include them. They can read you e-mail's, send off reports and respond to instant messages when you drive or while you navigate the office, elevators and more. Take them out of school and take them to work. They will learn your trade and the world while keeping the family bond strong and reinforcing the importance of education. You see, you'll teach them to read much faster when you are driving 60 miles an hour and you need to know the time of your next appointment and what direction you should really be going on the highway.

Maybe employing our own children is the answer to allowing more flex time and true telecommuting.

Re:It can be addictive...

[bladesjester]

You go to a theater to watch the movie, not to talk on your phone or send text messages. That's not only completely silly on your part, but extremely rude to everyone around you. I don't care if you think it's "addictive". There are times and places to not use it.

There has been one time in my life that I've used my phone in a theater. I was on alert from a client that I might have to be called in if something they were doing during that time went south. I set that incomming number on vibrate and all other incomming numbers on silent.

The phone buzzed in my pocket, I got up, left the theater, and then called them to say I'd be in shortly.

Apart from that one time, the phone has either been off, on silent, or left in the car.