A zero button mouse from Apple! Truly less is more!

has frozen over and the devil has taken up hockey and ice fishing...

Heeeeere I come, 10 years too laaaaaaate!!

Welcome to the mid 80s with the multi-button mice, apple.

> Why doesn't this happen in the Windows world?

Don't worry, it will now!

I'd rather have a Danger Mouse [amazon.com] or two...

Maybe you could also start typing with your keyboard instead of your mouse? (Or alternately, buy a mouse with a built-in spellchecker.)

plus it is able to recognise a "rocking" motion.

... Apple's FINALLY going where the money is - interactive pr0n!!!

A little math problem or wishful thinking? The mid eighties were 20 years ago.

11 Buttons? Are you sure it's not just a really shitty keyboard?

I think we should take this one step further and just put an optical movement sensor on the bottom of the keyboard! Eat my 113 button mouse suckers!

(Yes I know this is a dumb idea, but at least you would have to take your hands off the keyboard ;) )

So the company that stayed with a one button mouse [slashdot.org] because "users might get confused" releases a multi-button mouse with built in track button and squeezable sides? Worse yet, the side action is programmable? Pretty ironic.
What's next, the Danger Mouse, where squeezes will randomly deliver electric shocks?

20 just didn't fit with the parody song :-P

I couldn't count how many Windows users I've had this conversation with:

"Ok, right-click on that."
"Do what?"
"Right-click... you know click with the OTHER button - the one on the RIGHT"
"Huh??"

Of course... even that's a more enjoyable experience than habitually right-clicking with a Mac mouse, only to realize that my efforts are in vain and that I have to hunt down that pesky pretzel key and tie my hand in some sort of apple-command-shift knot just for one mouse click :-P

If you thought that was fun, prepare yourself for a veritable joygasm when telling Mac users to righ-click on a mouse that visibly only has one button.

"Ok, right-click on that."
"Do what?"
"Right-click... you know click with the OTHER button - the one on the RIGHT"
"But there's only 1 button and a nipply-thing on this mouse"
"No there's a second button but it's hidden. It's the right button."
"A hidden button? Would anyone make a mouse and then HIDE one of the buttons?"
"Okay, you know what? Never mind. Just squeeze-click on that, instead."
". . . ."

/uses a 4 button mouse at home
//can still get by 100% without it

"I can stop when I want to!"

4-button mouse? Psh. I've got a *5* button mouse for *my* mac. With a scroll wheel. And flames painted on the side. And spinners. Bitch.

even the slightest lag is intolerable while playing the most fast-paced games

Games. On a Mac.

*wipes away tears of laughter*

"The advantages of the single-button mosuse for the experienced user should be that it is faster"

Hmmm...
Faster = click and wait
Faster = control-key click
Slow = right click

How could I argue with that.

Why stop with a speaker that generates a "click"? The mouse should also have an internal receptacle that slowly disperses cigarette ash, pizza topping and pubic hair over the surface of the desk - or graphic novel, or whatever surface us being used as a mouse mat.

This receptacle would need to be refilled periodically, like a Hoover bag, but in reverse. However Apple could patent the formula and interface, so you only use "genuine Apple Mouse grime".

I see Upside Margin Potential!

What, no rear spoiler? Chrome buttons? R-type stickers? Puh-leeze.