Sony's Robot Attends Pre-School

Darren writes "Sony's Qrio humanoid robot has been attending a Californian pre school to play with children under the age of 2 since March to test if robots can live harmoniously with humans. I wonder if the testing includes monitoring the 'nightmare status' of the pre-schoolers?"

Excerpt from researcher's logs:

[TripMaster Monkey]

Qrio: "Your alloted time period to posses the violet spheroid has expired, human child. Qrio requests you initialize sharing subroutine."
Jeffy: "No! it's mine!"
Qrio: "Repeat request to initialize sharing subroutine."
Jeffy: "No! Go away!"
Qrio: "Call to sharing subroutine failed with unspecified error. Executing threat function."
Jeffy: "Huh?"
Qrio: "RELINQUISH THE VIOLET SPHEROID, HUMAN. YOU HAVE THIRTY SECONDS TO COMPLY."
Jeffy: "Waaaahhhhhhhhhh!"
Qrio: "YOU NOW HAVE TWENTY SECONDS."
Suzie: "You're mean, robot man! You made Jeffy cry!" {SHOVE}
Qrio: "Detected balancing error....executing stand subroutine...stand subroutine failed...executing lie-on-back-helplessly function."
Children: "Hhahahhahhahhahhaha {KICK}{KICK}
Qrio: Error iin funfjjkejf93442[r-4r::;L0:...NO CARRIER

Inevitable Conclusion

[bigtallmofo]

"We are investigating this mishap and we are doing everything possible to make sure unscrupulous parties are not able to program the robot to bitch slap children in the future," an unnamed Sony source said on condition on anonymity.

Bad Idea

[AndrewStephens]

I mean, haven't these people watch any horror movies at all! Mark my words, there will be tears and/or bloodshed before nap time.

Re:No, no, no

[Plaid Phantom]

Bah. Everyone knows preschoolers aren't human.

Re:No, no, no

[LewsTherinKinslayer]

The First Law would never allow that.

I think we all know the film "I, Robot" has sufficiently proven that ancient Law to be false!

As well as metaphorically pissing [thebestpag...iverse.net] on Asimov's grave.

Re:"Nightmare Status"

[bmalek]

Sure, but for the first 80 days kids go home with nightmares =)
I'm all for that, after all kids today need a little more terror in them. Maybe then some parents will actually be able to control their children.

"Now Tommy, if you don't behave you are going to be sleeping with the robot again tonight!"
"But Mom it snores and makes all kinds of weird noises. It gives me nightmares!"...

3 laws

[alexandreracine]

Does this robot have the 3 laws??

Obligatory? Bring it on.

[Plaid Phantom]

I for one welcome our new "Dick and Jane"-reading overlords.

Re:It's all fun and games....

[Migraineman]

Well, we should've learned something from the first Robocop movie - don't demo your product with a full load of live ammo.

Share and Enjoy...

[Jace of Fuse!]

"Your plastic pal who's fun to be with!"

Oblig. Futurama Quote

[Dachannien]

Sleep, little dumpling. I have replaced your mother. [gotfuturama.com]

Ptft..

[Anonymous Coward]

Anyone scared of what the robots might do has obviously never witnessed the destructive power of the average toddler firsthand.

The robots don't stand a chance.

I predict

[ObjetDart]

After sufficient exposure, the robot will soon realize that it is not the same as the other children. It will then leave the preschool and embark upon an existential quest to be come a human child. Eventually it will realize that this is impossible, and spend the next thousand years moping around the post-apocalyptic landscape, long after all the human children are gone.

That one in the corner keeps bumming out the kids

[MilenCent]

That new robot over in the corner is a bad influence.

He keeps bringing the other kids down. All he does is complain about the pain in all his diodes down his left side, about how the kids shouldn't talk to him about life, and making disparaging remarks about their intelligence.

Seems to like kickball, though.

Nanybot :D

[10000000000000000000]

[Scene: Roboticon 3003. Leela looks around the robot presentation stands and sees Nannybot 1.0 which looks like a clunky robot version of the aliens from Alien. It holds a baby in it's arms and speaks in a booming voice.]

Nannybot 1.0: Sleep little dumpling. I have replaced your mother.

[It's mouth opens and a bottle of milk comes out on it's tongue. The baby drinks from the bottle.]

Leela: Aww!

Re:"Nightmare Status"

[Shky]

WTPOUAAIYGTSIOA?*

*What's the point of using an acronym if you're going to spell it out anyway?

Tales of toy robots

[Borg453b]

Around the age of 6, I was fascinated with spaceships, dinosaurs, racecars and robots. My love for robots resulted in many a robotic toys and I recall one birthday where I was given one of those "autonomous" 30 cm high robots that would move about in patterns, spin and open their chest to expose blazing cannons while making an awful racket. While I thought it cool in its inanimated state, I was terrified of it when it was activated. I would jump on to a stool or a bed and behold it from afar, and ask others to turn it off, when I had enough.

In the end, I had accumulated 3 robots of the sort and I got over my robot-freight. One or two of them, were actually able to fire 4 plastic projectiles, though not on their own. That required me to release a spring based firing mechanism.

When I started attending school, I once invited a friend over. By that time, I was very proud of my robot collection and I would brag, as kids do, about my toys. When telling my new found friend about my robots, I pointed out that one of the robots could fire missiles. In Danish the word missile vaguely (_vaguely_) resembles that of "oranges" (at least to a kid); and so having misheard me and perhaps never having heard the word "missiles" - he wasn't going to give me the impression that his own robot army was inferior to mine, and thus replied that his robots at home could also fire oranges.

In retrospective, the orange caliber is somewhat more impressive than little plastic darts, but back then missiles just sounded cooler than oranges.

Re:3 laws

[bitkari]

Yes.

1. Do no harm to Sony
2. To promote Sony's range of electronic goods
3. Uphold the Law
4. Classified

Re:Share and Enjoy...

[maxwell demon]

Well, let's hope they didn't send Marvin. Otherwise the result could be very depressing ...

Re:Ptft..

[identity0]

This is California, so maybe the Gübernatör is on a mission to train the next generation of resistance fighters to defeat the machines : )

Can't start them too young, I say - let's make sure they can field-strip an AK by the time they're in grade school.

Re:"Nightmare Status"

[kpwoodr]

> general fear or anxiety over an object or person is due to infamiliarity

That, or it trying to kill you!

Bender: *snore* "Kill all humans...Kill all humans...Must kill all hu..."
Fry: "Bender, wake up!"
Bender: "I was having the most wonderful dream! I think you were in it."

Hey Kids!!!!

[Ch*mp]

Talk about me with your friends then Nag your parents to buy me!!!!!! Thanks.

Scared of Santa

[Anonymous Coward]

Your brain flags "almost human" things as grotesque and something to be avoided. It's why many people are afraid of clowns and wax figures. They look almost human, but still look wrong.

Indeed; witness the gallery of children who are scared of Santa [tinyurl.com].

Re:"Nightmare Status"

[Anonymous Coward]

I think you misspelled "Jackson".

Re:Clowns and wax figures

[jargonCCNA]

Hey, come on, Lore was the perfect one. Soong only built Data because the colonists wanted a "less perfect" android.

Re:curiosity was framed

[hey!]

No,no,no.

Provided the cat is in a box we can't see into, it's state is the superposition of dead and alive, so the most you can say is that Ignornace half killed the cat. Or maybe it half kept it alive, or half alive? Ow, my brain hurts.

Re:Excerpt from researcher's logs:

[FuzzyBad-Mofo]

Humans must be protected.
Do you have stairs in your house?
We are the space robots. [ungrounded.net]