simPC - Your Grandparents' New Computer?

trs9000 writes "The Register has a blurb about simPC, an "idiot-proof" PC set to debut in May of this year. It seems like a step towards a thin-client world, though it is aimed primarily at the elderly. For about $400 for the box and a $13-per-month subscription, users get a box with a propietary OS and software preinstalled for online banking, spam filtering, virus detection and online storage. What users don't get is the ability to install software, burn CDs or download large files. Initial release is only for the Netherlands and Belgium."

My grandparents are dead

[Anonymous Coward]

You insenstive clod!

And isn't this the name of that Indian computer?

How soon we forget: webtv, iopener, audrey etc.

[Anonymous Coward]

How soon we forget: webtv, iopener, audrey etc.

It's not easy selling computers to people who don't buy computers. WebTV was a lot cheaper than this, and sold very poorly, not because it wasn't a good value but because it was targeted
at people who don't buy this stuff! At $400 + $13/mo, you not only have the "I'm just not interested" factor, but also the "are you kidding, I can't afford that!" factor.

I just don't understand why people keep trying these "basically it's a crippled PC" business models. It's been proven so many times that even with a decent product and huge marketing budget, they just don't sell.

On related note, I'd like to share a little secret about the Philips Sonicare [sonicare.com] toothbrush. Now, anyone who's used the Sonicare knows that this thing really does a fantastic job on teeth and gums. It's got some seriously powerful, high frequency action. Well, it turns out that the slender angled neck is perfect not only for reaching those tricky back molars, but is also perfectly suited for navigating the details of the inner labia. WARNING: do not stampede for the clitoris! The Sonicare is just too powerful to go there without careful warming up. You should probably also steer clear of the bristly side at first. I strongly recommend enabling the 14-day EasyStart feature, which gradually ramps up
the power as she becomes comfortable with it. Good luck!

Like my Granny used to say...

[The Ultimate Fartkno]

"...boy, you can buy yourself one of them newfangledy calculatin' machines or you can sell a pig in a poke to a one-eyed man with a two-eyed mule. And if that don't set your pears to picklin' then I'm not worth a squirt of spit into an Alabama wind. Yep, that's what I'm sayin'."

Okay, so Granny drank a hell of a lot...

Re:This is a smart idea

[thrillseeker]

I think this is a great business plan if they actually can get this to work.

Most business plans are great if they can be made to work.

not really hackable

[Anonymous Coward]

Well, hopefully that this, like many of its predicesors, will be fun to hack and crack, and will hopefully end up being cheap so we can buy a bunch of them and do CRAZY anti-DMCA things to it.

It's not all that hackable. The whole thing is practically hermetically sealed. Both the charging base and the movement are driven by magnetic coupling (in order to waterproof it).

I dunno - maybe there's some anti-dmca thing you could do but I can't think of what.

Re:idiot-proof

[Manchot]

Teenagers, twenty-somethings, and Slashdotters everywhere are rejoicing at the thought of not having to fix their parents' and grandparents' computers.

Re:not really hackable

[X0563511]

Not sure if your trying to be funny or not, but i think he was talking about the simPC, not the toothbrush...

Re:How soon we forget: webtv, iopener, audrey etc.

[Anonymous Coward]

is the clitoris that thing that hangs down in the back of my throat??

I have one.

[HackingYodel]

It runs on a proprietary OS; and to prevent problems, users won't be able to install software, download big files, burn CDs or DVDs or edit videos.

I just purchased an old Pentium Pro, MS-DOS box for $10 and it has all these features. Looks like my system was just ahead of its time.

Douglas Adams said it...

[caveat]

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof was to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." - Mostly Harmless

Re:How soon we forget: webtv, iopener, audrey etc.

[Anonymous Coward]

No, that would be a penis.

Warning!

[djward]

2) Do not eat simPC.

Re:How soon we forget: webtv, iopener, audrey etc.

[phillymjs]

is the clitoris that thing that hangs down in the back of my throat??

Only if you're Linda Lovelace. [imdb.com]

Otherwise, that would be the uvula.

~Philly

Re:How soon we forget: webtv, iopener, audrey etc.

[BobNET]

Only when it's really cold outside.

That's OK

[Anonymous Coward]

It runs BSD.

sex ed for geeks.

[Anonymous Coward]

What are the % of geeks that had to go consult Wiki to find out what a clitoris of labia are?

Re:idiot-proof

[Justin205]

Or the classic quote...

"Make something idiot-proof, and they'll invent a better idiot."

Re:idiot-proof

[sowdog81]

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."
-- Rich Cook

DonsimPC

[Frank T. Lofaro Jr.]

simPC!

-only $14.95-

* Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to simPC.
* Caution: simPC may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
* simPC Contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
* Do not use simPC on concrete.

Discontinue use of simPC if any of the following occurs:

* Itching
* Vertigo
* Dizziness
* Tingling in extremities
* Loss of balance or coordination
* Slurred speech
* Temporary blindness
* Profuse sweating
* Heart palpitations

If simPC begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.

simPC may stick to certain types of skin.

When not in use, simPC should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration...

Failure to do so relieves the makers of simPC, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.

Ingredients of simPC include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

simPC has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.

Do not taunt simPC.

simPC comes with a lifetime guarantee.

simPC

ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!

Re:idiot-proof

[emjoi_gently]

Well, yeah there's that, and trying out every P2P program on the planet, most of which seem to come along with an uninvited guest.
They're curious kids. And as with teenage sex, they grab at whatever looks pretty without thinking too hard about what might come along with it, downloading all kinds of junk. I've tried to educate them in having a bit of restraint. (in downloading stuff... the sex thing is up to their parents (I hope))

Re:Why would old people buy a PC?

[eclectro]

Actually they're only buying a computer because you never write to them. Plus they would like to keep in touch with all their friends who haven't died yet.

Including that really nice Nigerian man that they just met that has a little problem he needs some help with.

Re:How soon we forget: webtv, iopener, audrey etc.

[Daengbo]

Now if you own/have a clitoris (i dont)
I just rent...

Re:Or

[BigJStudd]

I don't know what kind of superpowers your grandparents have, but my grandfather (may he rest in peace) did not have the ability to use a computer without a monitor, keyboard and mouse.

Re:idiot-proof

[lxs]

What about us 40 years olds who have to fix the damn teenagers PCs filled with spyware.

What about the damn teeagers who have to fix the 40 years old's PCs filled with pr0n dialers?

Stop replying to: "H...Awtt..Brittannee w4itz 4 U" mails, dads!

Idiot Proof it is Not

[serutan]

Because you have to be an idiot to pay $400 for a crippled computer and then pay $13/month for the privilege of using it.

Re:idiot-proof

[Tristan7]

Good lord. You nkow entirely too much about these systems.