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Upgrade Your Dog 296

Posted by timothy
from the cats-are-superior dept.
ptorrone writes "Engadget has glimpse in to the future, a future where your dog has a cell phone, webcam and electronic tag, and maybe even talks to you. Maybe. Some of this dog-tech isn't available yet, and some of it is (in Japan, of course). The overview includes some interesting iterations of pet technology, and they even made their own version of a dog webcam along with the first ever canine photographer's photo gallery." I'd rather see more of these things applied to infants.
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Upgrade Your Dog

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  • by nxtr (813179) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:12AM (#10380646)
    ...Yellow Dog Linux, maybe?
  • Disposible (Score:5, Funny)

    by acxr is wasted (653126) * on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:12AM (#10380647)
    Of course, every few years, when you upgrade your dog, you can use some parts from your previous dog, and sell the rest on ebay.
  • by neuro.slug (628600) <neuro__@hotmail. ... com minus distro> on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:13AM (#10380652)
    I like dogs because they're lovable, cute, loyal, and a pleasure to be around. Not because they're functional. Those Japanese will never learn...
    • by TWX (665546) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:20AM (#10380689)
      Some dogs are functional though. "Seeing Eye" dogs, drug sniffing dogs, bomb detection dogs, dogs to seek out victims in structural collapses, dogs that find people in avalanche areas, and the like. Personally, I'd like it if the technology could evolve to where the dog could actually indicate if it found drugs or if it found something that it wanted to eat or have sex with, instead of leaving that up to the dog's wrangler. Many a canine officer has claimed that someone had drugs in a backpack or whatnot at some point because the dog wouldn't leave a backpack alone, while there was probably just a candy bar in there or something. For myself, if I had a dog at all I'd just want a fairly mild-tempered, easy going, no-frills, housebroken dog.
      • by nick0909 (721613) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @02:56AM (#10381230)
        Whatever dog you speak of must have not been very well trained. If you have ever spent much time with a "working dog" it is amazing what the well trained ones can do. In my Search & Rescue [buttesar.org] unit we have many dogs that can scent discriminate off a scent article and follow that scent trail only in a world of people. They also have different reactions to a live person, a live person matching the scent article, a dead person, a dead person matching the scent article, and a well-trained handler and dog can work very effectivly. I am not a dog handler, but work closely with them on searches, and it is amazing watching them work.
      • "Seeing Eye" dogs

        That always makes me laugh! Try Guide Dog.

        So is a Guard dog a biting mouth dog then?

    • by acxr is wasted (653126) * on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:20AM (#10380691)
      I like dogs because they're lovable, cute, loyal, and a pleasure to be around. ... Those Japanese will never learn...

      Apparently, Japanese women agree with you. [bbc.co.uk]
  • by ravenspear (756059) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:14AM (#10380655)
    My dog already seems to be fairly well equipped...

    Oops, I promised the producer I wouldn't say anything.
    • by pipingguy (566974) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @03:19AM (#10381305) Homepage

      So *you're* that guy...

      There's this guy who drinks at a local bar every night. One night, he came in and ordered only coffee. The bartender was curious and asked him why he wasn't buying beer.

      The man replied, "I don't drink anymore... last night, I blew chunks."

      "Oh that's nothing", the bartender replies. "Everyone gets a little sick after drinking too much at times."

      "No, no", the man replies. "You don't understand. Chunks is my dog!"
    • they even made their own version of a dog webcam along with the first ever canine photographer's photo gallery

      Just what I need,... the ability to watch my dog lick his balls via webcam.

  • UGA Cam (Score:4, Informative)

    by Darthmalt (775250) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:14AM (#10380660)
    The University of Georgia has been putting a camera on their mascot an english bulldog named UGA (pronounced UH-GUH)for years and broadcasting it up on their Jumbotron
    • Re:UGA Cam (Score:2, Insightful)

      by MrBlue VT (245806)
      Yep, of course this isn't new or original. Engadget just rehashes old concepts and pays [slashdot.org] Slashdot to put it on the front page. Hmm, up to 9 links this month, eh?
  • umm (Score:4, Funny)

    by Quasar1999 (520073) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:15AM (#10380663) Journal
    Can they implant something that house trains my puppy? Two weeks now and he still shits and pisses on my computer...
    • Re:umm (Score:3, Funny)

      by Soko (17987)
      Can they implant something that house trains my puppy? Two weeks now and he still shits and pisses on my computer...

      Lemme guess his name...

      BillGates? :-p

      Soko
    • Re:umm (Score:5, Informative)

      by Anonymous Writer (746272) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:54AM (#10380862)

      Two weeks now and he still shits and pisses on my computer...

      It's probably because he has pissed on it before that he continues to do so. Once they mark a spot with pee, they continue to use that spot because it has been marked with a scent, even if you clean it up well. I think there are pet products that you can use that counteract that smell. If not, vinegar and water [doggiedoor.com] might do the trick. There are other tips [homestead.com] online about training puppies.

      Then again maybe he's telling you to get a better computer.

      • Vinegar is an acid. Trust me: acid + computer = not good.
        • Trust me: acid + computer = not good.

          I guess then just wipe down the computer case with it, and don't use a spray on it. However, the area around the computer needs to be deodorised well, especially if it has carpeting. Dog pee + computer = not good either, especially if other dogs compete with marking the territory by peeing on the same spot, which happens when an area is marked with a scent. Kind of like fire hydrants.

    • Re:umm (Score:5, Informative)

      by NerveGas (168686) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @01:19AM (#10380955)

      With both of my puppies, I took them outside whenever they would need to go. That's not so hard to figure out. A puppy will need to pee:

      1. Within a few minutes of waking up from ANY duration of sleep.
      2. Within a few minutes of drinking ANY water.
      3. After playing for a little bit, and after they stop playing.

      They'll have to poop within 10 to 20 minutes after eating any amount of food, and after waking up from sleeping.

      At those times, take the puppy outside. Wait until he goes. IMMEDIATELY (within 1 second) give him a reward.

      If it goes in the house, make a noise to interrupt it, pick it up, take it outside, let it finish, and when it does, IMMEDIATELY reward it. Don't hit it, swat it, rub it's nose in it, or anything else.

      I can't tell you how many puppies I've seen that work like a MIRACLE for - but only if YOU are consistent.

      Dogs instinctively won't go in their "den". The trick is that you need to help the dog realize that the entire house is a den.

      I've also seen people trying to crate-train that achieved near instant success the day after they started letting the puppies sleep on the bed - that just helped the puppy learn that the house was the den, not the crate.

      steve
      • Re:umm (Score:2, Funny)

        by Brandybuck (704397)
        ...pick it up, take it outside, let it finish, and when it does, IMMEDIATELY reward it.

        It? Stop switching pronouns. For a while there I thought you were talking about the turd!
      • Re:umm (Score:3, Informative)

        by pamar (538061)
        While I agree with most of your post, I'd like to add that you'd better not to let your dog sleep on the bed.

        This was covered in conferece by a Vet specializing in psychological rehab and training for dogs (especially for dogs who have been taken to a pool/shelter).

        I do community work at a local animal shelter, this was a series of conferences to help the people to better work with the dogs and the people who wanted to adopt them.

        There are some signals/behaviours that could confuse the dog idea of
  • by TWX (665546) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:15AM (#10380667)
    ...in Holy Fire by Bruce Sterling? One of the dogs in that book even had a talk show, it's support electronics were so advanced.
    • That dog's name was Plato, and he was more than 40-years-old --- one of the "oldest dogs in California" according to his companion, Martin Warshaw. I'm not sure that Plato was a happy dog --- though he was a very good dog.
  • by YrWrstNtmr (564987) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:16AM (#10380669)
    ...cell phone, webcam and electronic tag
    I'd rather see more of these things applied to infants.

    Let us know how it works out.

    maybe even talks to you.

    Thet do that normally after a while. Be patient.


    • I would love to be able to track a kid, especially a rather young one, say 4-14.

      I know the civil liberties / big brother complaints. These days, your cell has GPS, your car has GPS, and the gubermit probably has enough KH sats to watch you whenever you go outside if they want.

      Was it McNeely at Sun that said something like "Americans have no privacy, they need to get over it." Scary, but true.

      I still want to know where my kids are and have some notification when they break boundaries or curfew.
      • Re:Your kid first (Score:2, Insightful)

        by Anonymous Coward
        where is the tracking chip implanted, gatze? In the wrists? I'll make sure I cut her hands off when I abduct your 14year old for some fun times in the woods. In the neck? necrophelia never stopped psychos before. I am considering getting a faraday cage van too, then I can fuck your kids without getting blood on my shirt.
      • Re:Your kid first (Score:4, Interesting)

        by YrWrstNtmr (564987) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:46AM (#10380838)
        I still want to know where my kids are and have some notification when they break boundaries or curfew.

        Are they obeying those boundraies because you're taught them it's the right thing to do, or because they know dad is tracking them? Big difference. Curfew is a non-issue. Either they're home or they're not.

        And yes, I have teenagers.

        • by Moraelin (679338) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @03:16AM (#10381296) Journal
          This is the most insightful thing I've read today, and I wish I could mod it up.

          I find it sad that people basically want to shut their kids off and never have to talk to them. The kid is something that should be put on a leash, or at least stay the fsck out of the way, while the parent is busy watching football or the 15'th soap opera for today.

          And when the kid learns something awfully wrong, and the parent never was there for them to teach them otherwise, the parent promptly goes looking for a scapegoat. Nosiree, bob. It wasn't me who's to blame, guv'nor. I never taught him to do drugs and beat other kids up. (Never taught him that it's wrong to do that either, though.) It was those evil game companies and TV companies. Let's sue those.

          Dunno, makes me think of Peter's Principle. Just because they have genitals, people are elligible to be "promoted" to parent. Too bad that half of them are utterly incompetent for that job.
      • I would love to be able to track a kid, especially a rather young one, say 4-14.

        People have managed to track their kids for a million years (depending what you count as people:-)). Should be a solved problem by now, no need for high tech.

        As for curfew, if you don't know if the kid is in the house you have a remarkably quiet and undemanding child.

  • babies too? (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:16AM (#10380672)
    I'd rather see more of these things applied to infants.

    As a parent, I can honestly say that I would NEVER EVER put an electronic leash on my 3month old. Who are these paranoid fuckwad parents who are lining up to chip their pets and unwilling children in the name perceived orwellian safety?

    It's they who are to blame for the starting the slide down the slippery slope. "Oh, but this RFID comes with a cute camera and a crude baby-to-human universal translator! ahhh! how cute! and SAFE too!" Die you braindead soccermom fucks. Get some personal responsibility and learn to live with the fact that shit happens despite your best efforts to nerf the world.

    • Re:babies too? (Score:2, Informative)

      by MoggyMania (688839)
      "Get some personal responsibility and learn to live with the fact that shit happens despite your best efforts to nerf the world."

      I'm not a parent, but I can say from experience that after you've actually seen a loved one in severe pain or even watched them die, the above poster's attitude comes across not as insightful but inexperienced/immature/ignorant. It's a lot easier to sneer "shit happens" when you haven't had that shit happen to you.
    • Re:babies too? (Score:2, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward
      I agree !

      The fact that there is such a thing in the US as parenting classes because people haven't got a clue anymore is bad enough allready.

      This and the fact that US citizens are getting fatter everyday are causing the rest of the world not to take the US serious anymore. They can't even take care of themselves...

      And Bush doesn't help either.. ;-)
    • As a parent, I can honestly say that I would NEVER EVER put an electronic leash on my 3month old.

      I agree.

      If you don't get the electronic leash on them by the time they are one month old, you might as well just give up the kid for adoption.

    • Re:babies too? (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Overzeetop (214511)
      You may have a child (poor kid), but the mods who gave you anything but "troll" are idiots.

      Of course you wouldn't put a leash on your three month old. You don't have to worry about getting separated from your 3 month old unless you put the infant carrier down and walk away.

      Children ARE foolish, and parents are NOT perfect. As careful as I am with my 2 year old, I wouldn't hesitate to slap a gps wristwatch/pager on my kid if I took here to a place where she had any possibility of getting lost. No matter ho
    • Um, I took the comment "I'd rather see more of these things applied to infants" as a joke that the person would like to have an infantCam view of the world...especially during feeding times..wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more.

      Look for the humor in everything first. You'll live longer.

  • GPS (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Heem (448667) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:18AM (#10380676) Homepage Journal
    I always wanted to attach my GPS to my dog just to see where he goes. Probably around in circles chasing squirells and such, but might be interesting.
    • A friend of mine was visiting his parents' country house and decided to see how his dog would react to a pager. He clipper the pager to the dog's collar and called the number from his cellphone. I don't know if he meant to have it on "vibrate", but the instant result was his 12-year-old hound leaping straight up into the air, spinning around several times really fast, and running into the woods like he had a demonic ferret in hot pursuit.

      When Dog came back two hours later, the pager was not to be found.

  • by The-Bus (138060) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:21AM (#10380693)
    There's only one thing that dog should be able to do, and as far as I can tell, that's been covered already [btinternet.co.uk].

    That's right, Rolfie. Come to papa with his brandy.
  • by zymurgy_cat (627260) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:22AM (#10380702) Homepage
    This sounds neat and interesting....until you realize (afterwards, of course) that the dog was in the room watching you have sex.....
  • I prefer the art upgrade: the dog paints [tillamookcheddar.com]!
  • by mcrbids (148650) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:22AM (#10380704) Journal
    I was just reading about how nerds will rule the world because "A nerd, ...is someone who concentrates on substance.".

    And then I read this. And I think to myself... is there more than one definition for "nerd"?
    • Well the author probably did concentrate on substance - abuse thereof, to be sure, but substance nevertheless.

    • Unfortunately, /. is populated mainly by geeks, not nerds.

      And as a bonified nerd, I say that with all the disdain possible....
      • And as a bonified nerd, I say that with all the disdain possible....

        I'm being terribly unfair - especially since your response is really quite nice and all ...

        But, "bonified" would be the result of taking the root word "bone", and converting it to "bonify", meaning "to make into or resemble bone", and then make it past tense.

        As in: "He was bonified when he drank too much of that calcium powder".

        So, I get this weird picture of a nerd with big, nasty bones sticking out all over his face!

        Yeah, grammar na
      • ummmmm...I thought they were the same thing?
        If not, I wonder which I am.
    • there are nerds, and wanna be nerds. Usually known as geeks.

      Now, technology is hip. I mean look its small cute hip. Chick hip.

      Nerds will continue to build and design the things geeks covet.

  • I'd rather see more of these things applied to infants.

    I vote for dogs.
  • Bad Marketing (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Agret (752467) <alias...zero2097@@@gmail...com> on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:24AM (#10380722) Homepage Journal
    "On the website, the scenario presented is a woman calling her dog telling him he should be home soon." Yet another example of bad marketing
  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:24AM (#10380724)
    ...and find lost packets all over the floor!

  • by Letter (634816) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:24AM (#10380726)
    Dear Timothy,

    I'm a proud parent of a newborn young girl. The first thing I did after getting her home from the natural birthing center was to install a subdermal electronic tag so she can't escape. Second, since I'm a good dad, I bought her a cell phone (an N-Gage even!) with a 700 minutes/month plan. Third, I enrolled her in ESL classes, cause she sure damn can't speak English yet. I don't understand a word she says!

    Until later,!
    Letter

  • We've all seen what happened to 'Cat' in Red Dwarf, right?
  • by Atmchicago (555403) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:29AM (#10380743) Homepage

    I already get tons of e-mails telling me they can upgrade my "dog" by adding a few extra inches.

  • Infants? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by teamhasnoi (554944) <.teamhasnoi. .at. .yahoo.com.> on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:44AM (#10380823) Homepage Journal
    I fail to see why an infant needs a webcam, gps sensor, e-tag, or translator.

    If you're a good parent, you don't need this stuff.

    Someone should send social services over to Timothy's house to see how many lost infants he's got in his garage.

    sheesh. It might be neat on dogs, it's just dehumanizing on people.

  • by K-Man (4117) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:45AM (#10380831)

    Competing against dogs for DBA jobs.

  • Infants!? (Score:4, Interesting)

    by carcosa30 (235579) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:48AM (#10380845)
    I'd like to see many of these things applied to adults.

    In a world where billions don't have enough to eat, we are now giving our dogs cell phones.

    Truly sick.
    • Re:Infants!? (Score:3, Insightful)

      by bigberk (547360)
      In a world where billions don't have enough to eat, we are now giving our dogs cell phones.
      This is probably the most meaningful analysis of the situation, and also unfortunately the least concern to most :(
      • Yeah! The most meaningful analyses are always the knee-jerk ones!
        • Re:Infants!? (Score:2, Flamebait)

          by l0ungeb0y (442022)
          You sir are correct.

          To put it bluntly, to think as the parent did one would have to consider giving instead of "having". Fuck those who can't make it as well as the person next to me.

          Why invade Sudan which has for the last decade exsperienced genocide after genocide? What do they have to offer me? Nada! Let them die for all I care, they deserve whatever they get.

          I whole-heartedly support our presidents decision to invade Iraq. Our grand conquest will fuels both our SUV's and our national "surplus" of oil
    • Re:Infants!? (Score:3, Insightful)

      by carcosa30 (235579)
      There's nothing wrong with geek toys etc. I just have to laugh when I see people walking around encrusted with the newest pagers, cell phones, I-pods, PDAs, etc etc-- like barnacles on their waistlines-- when IMO they are oftentimes missing out on the things that are truly important in life. And I see it so much.
      • As a geek toy? Yeah, go for it. I have no beef with fitting a dog with a webcam, mobile phone, GPS, or whatever for a bit of fun.

        Suggesting, on the other hand, that this sort of technology might be useful as a substitute for actual supervision of a pet, or worse yet, a child - well, that's just pure negligence!

      • I just have to laugh when I see people walking around encrusted with the newest pagers, cell phones, I-pods, PDAs, etc etc-- like barnacles on their waistlines

        Of course; the larger your waistline, the more gadgets you can wear round it- better get more pizzas and Coke in.
    • Re:Infants!? (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Just Some Guy (3352)
      In a world where billions don't have enough to eat, we are now giving our dogs cell phones.

      Which is a shame, because that cell phone directly took the food from a photogenic orphan's mouth.

      I just bought some grass seed for my lawn - instead of sending the money to a starving kid.

      I recently paid for another 3 months of DSL service - instead of sending the money to a starving kid.

      Next week I'll pay my daughter's tuition - instead of sending the money to a starving kid.

      This morning you logged onto an

  • by antifoidulus (807088) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @12:55AM (#10380868) Homepage Journal
    from the cats-are-superior dept.
    'Nuff said

    *Ducks!
  • "I'd be delighted to tell you a suggestive story, if you think it would help." -- augmented dog Blood, to Albert, upon not being able to sniff out a partner for Albert
  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @01:03AM (#10380893)

    from the cats-are-superior dept.

    ahem

    Perhaps you meant "from the no-cat-will-ever-drag-your-sorry-ass-out-of-a-burn ing-building dept."

  • I'd rather see more of these things applied to infants.

    So would I, though I still think a dog would be more useful.
  • "Engadget has glimpse in to the future, a future where your dog has a cell phone, webcam and electronic tag, and maybe even talks to you. Maybe."

    And with that extra stick of DDR RAM, you can teach an old dog new tricks...
  • Ya know... (Score:2, Interesting)

    by l0ungeb0y (442022)
    I already read the engadget article much much earlier.
    Saddens me to say, but is this the harbinger of the end of /.'s media relevency?

    I mean, if /. continues upon this line of reposting from blogs, wy not just go to the blogs themselves? Or is /.'s future just to be an outlet/media-spokesite for Roland and engadget et al? Why are so many topics not posted here first? While I enjoy free media, is /.so unknown thhat the personal bloggers get the first scoop? If so.... what can be done to change this? Are th
    • Slashdot has always been just a 'central' location for stories. From CNN, to IEEE.org, to blogs.
      I don't think Slashdot has ever written their own stories(insert thinkgeek jab here)

      I don't know what illusion you have been under.

      What people come here for is the hot grit^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Heerr stimulating conversation.
      • No illusion.
        I have engadget.com bookmarked because the stories show up there faster. So tell me, do the corps send press releases to them directly and do they even have a press core? No.
        They are no different from /.

        My point which I willl try to make as clear as day is: Why does /. reprint from other reprint sources? It's getting to the point where it's like looking into an Escher drawing. A mirror into a mirror into a mirror.

        Maybe /. is very underground .. but having seen /. articals posted on the homepag
    • If so.... what can be done to change this?

      Start a site that competes with slashdot? Perhaps one where the editors can master the basics of grammar and are willing to use a spell-checker? One that posts news articles in a timely fashion, rather than days, weeks, months, or sometimes even *years* later? And one where karma-bombers and folks with vendettas aren't rewarded for their childish behavior?

      Call it something like "No Signal". Oooh, I like that! Copyright! Copyright!

      Max
      • NO.

        IMHO I think that /. just needs to stop playing favs and start cheking links and post thing that are relevant whether or not they think the poster is "acceptable". If the link is there and the source is accurate, they should post. PLenty of time however, they have posted eronious stories. That fact alone demonstrates that/. plays favs and do not fact check.

        Maybe that is the root of the problem.
        • NO.

          YES.

          Maybe that is the root of the problem.

          I think the root of the problem is that slashdot doesn't have any real competition. There are other sites like it but those sites don't have the same appeal. Clone and improve slashdot and I'm willing to bet people will jump to the new site the same way they jumped from older search engines to Google.

          Then Slashdot would have to improve itself in order to compete. Sounds good to me.

          After all, we're always yammering on here about the evils of monopoly an
        • I agree with you, that Slashdot at least seems to play favorites, especially where ptorrone is concerned. It seems any time I see one of his hack-assery projects listed on Engadget, I can just drum my fingers a few minutes before he's on the wire to pound his chest a bit and post the same crap on Slashdot.

          I like Engadget for its news of new gadgets coming to market and such, but to the do-it-yourself junk (yes...junk), I say, "meh."

  • This of course will spark a backlash from tech-fearing dogs everywhere. Just how long will it take for one of them to become the Una-barker and start sending exploding poop packages to unsuspecting researchers?
  • ...is the suspicion that any number of gifted dogs could do a better job as director than half the moviemakers in Hollywood today.
  • by ReidMaynard (161608) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:51AM (#10381599) Homepage
    A'la Woody Allen ..

    MED SHOT on COMPUTER GEEK and his DOG answering the door to his apartment. The dog is wearing a RED ELECTRONIC GIZMO on his collar.

    Geek opens door.

    CAMERA REVEALS NANCY an attractive girl in a skirt.

    GEEK: Uh.. hi Nancy, come on in.

    Nancy smiles, and start to enter. SUDDENLY the DOG grabs NANCY'S LEG and starts HUMPING MADLY.

    DOG TRANSLATOR: I LOVE YOU
    DOG TRANSLATOR: I AM HAPPY
    DOG TRANSLATOR: DO YOU SEE MY BONE?
    DOG TRANSLATOR: YOU ARE MY BITCH
    DOG TRANSLATOR: I SMELL TREATS
    DOG TRANSLATOR: MARRY ME
  • If you could get a firmware upgrade for an Alsatian, and it was open source, would it come under a GSD licence?
  • It's a friggin Cocker Spaniel. Not exactly the apex of dog intelligence, barely above the greyhound and afghan. And what the heck is with a guy owning one in the first place. Get a real dog. 8-)

Whenever people agree with me, I always think I must be wrong. - Oscar Wilde

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