Fiat Joins Microsoft in a Wireless Partnership

bizpile writes "The AP is reporting that Microsoft and Fiat have gotten together to develop a system of wireless communications into Fiat's vehicles. The goal of the alliance, announced Thursday, is to create a flexible, easy-to-use telematics system (think OnStar from General Motors) for Fiat and its Lancia and Alfa Romeo brands sold in Europe, the companies said."

Bluetooth and wireless

[olderchurch]

Does this mean that I can hack away at somebodies car? I hope it has a bit more security then the usual Microsoft products. And do I need to run Windows Update every week if I have such a system in my car?

Lovely....

[HiQ]

Driving around on a hot summer day in your Fiat, with your Windows wide open......

Welcome Pwn3d-Star

[mfh]

This Fiat/Microsoft article reminded me of an old gem:

For the sake of argument, let's nickname this service Pwn3d-Star, so I guess this is your Fiat updated version!

1. Every time the server-side software is upgraded, you'll have to buy a new car.

2. When your Fiat dies on the freeway randomly, you can now be told by a Pwn3d-Star agent that you have to restart it. They would also say nice things and pepper MS branding through the whole conversation.

3. If your car failed to restart after one weird maneuver (like backing up too quick), the new Pwn3d-Star agents will tell you that they will send a tow-truck to you for an extra surcharge, and that your engine will need to be replaced.

4. You can now have more than one person in the car, but they will all need their own license to use Pwn3d-Star, even if they are dying on the road.

5. Macintosh will not do this, but if they do, it will be 100x better and have a super-iPod built in. You'll be able to download music without leaving your car, which is great for many car geeks, although Fiats aren't that popular among car geeks.

6. (this one didn't change) The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.

7. (strangely this one didn't change either) People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other cars for many years.

8. We will have to get Microsoft gas to run the vehicle, or a Pwn3d-Star agent will tell us that the gas we are purchasing is not Microsoft Certified, and we may be in violation of our warranty if we continue to use said gas.

9. New seats will force everyone to have the same sized butt. Pwn3d-Star will warn you if someone's butt is too big or small.

10. The airbags will now say "Are you sure?" before deploying. (pretty much the same as the original)

11. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened, but the Pwn3d-Star agent would tell you that techsupport is working on an explanation. Then you would get some excellent elevator music for about a half hour as you cling to life.

Close the windows!

[rvw]

Well you know what to do when the vehicle crashes... Close all windows and try a restart.

Dangerous?

[Anonymous Coward]

Brings a whole new meaning to blue windscreen of death

How long before we can install Linux...

[EsbenMoseHansen]

whatever, I'm sure we'll soon be able to install Linux on it in any case :-D

And that's why.....

[ZZeta]

I don't drive a Fiat...

Hmm

[Anonymous Coward]

A Fiat with WiFi sounds like a really crappy episode of Pimp My Ride.

How fitting

[Anonymous Coward]

In Germany FIAT stands for

Für Italien ausreichende Technik
(for Italy adequate technique)

or

Fehler in allen Teilen
(Fault in all parts)

No better partner than Microsoft.

What a team!

[Anonymous Coward]

I can only imagine the synergy between these titans of reliability.

Obligatory

[The-Bus]

FIAT was "Fix It Again, Tony"

Will they change it to RIAT? Reboot it again, Tony...

Although Tony the Mechanic will have much less work to do. Hell, you can do it yourself.
Roll down all the windows, then roll them all back up. Then turn off your car, wait 2 minutes, and turn it on again. Ta-da! Your problem is fixed.

Re:Welcome Pwn3d-Star

[Dogtanian]

The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.

Already been thought of! Courtesy of the Unix Fortune cookie program:-

"Brian Kernighan has an automobile which he helped design. Unlike most automobiles, it has neither speedometer, nor gas gauge, nor any of the numerous idiot lights which plague the modern driver. Rather, if the driver makes any mistake, a giant "?" lights up in the center of the dashboard. "The experienced driver", he says, "will usually know what's wrong."

Re:Bluetooth and wireless

[danormsby]

If we hack it can we remote control it with "Remote Assistance" [microsoft.com]?

I can imagine the phone call from my girlfriend already... "Dan, I'm trying to parallel park but can't do it in these shoes. Can you remote connect? My IP address is..."

A match made in heaven

[nusratt]

Considering the Italian cultural traditions of contempt for
authority and official standards, it seems like poetic justice.

OTOH, given the historical mechanical reliability of Italian mass-market cars,
the security and stability of Windows will fit right in.

btw, gives new meaning to the term "war driving"

Re:Lovely....

[Aranel]

Fiat's rock. My Tipo used to regularly do 999MPH (it had an electronic dashboard). The Windows (no pun intended) wouldn't close unless someone was leaning on them. My coupe had dodgy wiring in the boot, so I got to be part of the mafia for the day and shut my mechanic in the boot :o) But if MS get involved....there's no way I'm buying another Fiat!!! Sarah

Ferrari and Formula 1

[senaattori]

This is good news for Formula 1 fans. Ferrari (a part of Fiat Group) is doing great in Formula 1. So great, that they have made Formula 1 very very boring for spectators. Everybody knows in advance that Ferrari wins every GP. The biggest advantage of Ferrari is its reliability. But not for long. Not after this.

bleh

[Killshot]

I am sick of all this crap microsoft is doing, when are they going to get their sh*t together and put out a REAL product, like some sort of breakfast cereal, with little marshmallow bill gates heads. yum

We all know what FIAT stands for ...

[arhar]

... Fix It Again, Tony!

It's only fitting that they partner up with MicroSoft.

Car Activation!

[hotbutteredhtml]

So does the car cease to function after 30 days if you fail to activate it?

Oh no...

[bushda]

Take the world's most unreliable operating system, combine it with a manufacturer who's name is rumored to be short for "Fix It Again Tony", and what do you get? Probably the fabled car with the hood welded shut that Open Source fans (like myself) have talked about for years.

Congrats to Microsoft and Fiat - I was wondering who'd finally build a replacement for the Yugo...

Re:A list of desirable exclusions

[internic]

On slashdot in 2005: "A new worm has emerged that exploits the URI handler vulnerability in Microsoft onboard sotware and passes instructions directly to systems controlling vital functions."

;-)

Re:How fitting

[Desval]

I was under the impression that it was Italian for 'lawnmower'.