The Ultimate All-In-One Storage Solution

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The Ultimate All-In-One Storage Solution 387

Posted by timothy on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:01PM from the if-you-have-to-ask-you-can't-afford dept.

karnifex writes "Filled up your LaCie Bigger Disk already, and looking for a little more storage space? Good news! The Petabox is ready! 'The petabox by the Internet Archive is a machine designed to safely store and process one petabyte of information (a petabyte is a million gigabytes).' And luckily, as the Internet Archive notes, it's shipping-container friendly (20' x 8' x 8'). So save on delivery costs and order two!"

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The Ultimate All-In-One Storage Solution

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Finally (Score:5, Funny)

by foidulus ( 743482 ) * writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:02PM (#9121801)

My million monkeys at a million terminals will have somewher to save all their potential Shakespeare works.
But the question is, do my monkeys use VI or Emacs? That shall remain a mystery.

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colossal... (Score:2, Funny)

by ambienceman ( 721763 ) writes: <crazywolfeyes@yah o o . c om> on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:02PM (#9121803) Homepage

Imagine all the Spice Girls' songs you could save on that thing...wow...

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I'd buy one.... (Score:5, Funny)

by david_reese ( 460043 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:03PM (#9121812)

but I heard that all you can store on there are
...drumroll

Peta-files

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Can you get one... (Score:2, Funny)

by hemp ( 36945 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:03PM (#9121814) Homepage Journal

if you still enjoy wearing furs??

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One question... (Score:3, Funny)

by Cyno01 ( 573917 ) writes: <Cyno01@hotmail.com> on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:05PM (#9121834) Homepage

How many LOCs/VW Bug?

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Re:colossal... (Score:5, Funny)

by foidulus ( 743482 ) * writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:06PM (#9121852)

Don't just stop at songs! Store the DNA sequences for the spice girls on it, such that years from now our decendants may know the joys of Scary Spice.

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Potential customers (Score:5, Funny)

by thedillybar ( 677116 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:06PM (#9121853)

"After extensive market analysis, we have found 1 (one) organization that is interested in purchasing this device."
Can we say, Goooooooooooooooogle?

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Ummmm (Score:2, Funny)

by akira69 ( 621573 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:07PM (#9121865)

20 feet by 8 feet by 8 feet eh.... I thought they had that in the 1970s

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Re:wrong (Score:3, Funny)

by Vihai ( 668734 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:08PM (#9121870) Homepage

Wrong :)

One PetaByte is 1,000 TeraBytes which are 1,000,000 GigaBytes wich are 1,000,000,000,000,000 Bytes wich are 3.35 LotsOfPr0n.

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Ahhh... (Score:2, Funny)

by 10101001011 ( 744876 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:09PM (#9121893) Homepage

I just updated my old stone disk (it was erroding) with the latest gerbil in a wheel (I couldn't afford the guinea pig) with awesome seek times (he can seek food in less than 30 nanoseconds) and at least double-digit RPMs.

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Re:Finally (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:10PM (#9121905)

Well, seeing as how monkeys type random gibberish,
vi would seem like a perfect fit, yes?

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Ohh Good, now I can buy Longhorn (Score:5, Funny)

by l0ungeb0y ( 442022 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:10PM (#9121907) Homepage Journal

Though it says Linux is the standard OS, I'm hoping they plan on optimizing for Longhorn... so far this is the only system out that can meet Longhorns recommended disk capacity and RAM requirements. ...now if they could only find a way to fit all that into a mini-ATX tower.

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Re:I'd buy one.... (Score:5, Funny)

by Smidge204 ( 605297 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:10PM (#9121909) Journal

I heard the FBI managed to squeeze 1000 of these into their annual budget...

Exa-Files.
=simdge=

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one petabyte? (Score:5, Funny)

by circletimessquare ( 444983 ) writes: <(circletimessquare) (at) (gmail.com)> on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:12PM (#9121934) Homepage Journal

one petabyte ought to be good enough for anybody

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Re:wrong (Score:4, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:14PM (#9121957)

After extensive market research, it has been determined that a "buttload" is roughly 3.5 gigabytes.

In case you were wondering.

It's my favorite unit of measure.

Coincidentally, I have a buttload of porn.

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Re:Finally (Score:5, Funny)

by foidulus ( 743482 ) * writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:14PM (#9121961)

A British researcher actually did trap some monkeys inside a room with a computer for a couple days. They flung large amounts of feces at the monitor and keyboard and beat the living crap out of the box, and typed the letter s a lot. Sounds like the response of a typical user upon their first vi experience.

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Re:Ummmm (Score:3, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:15PM (#9121963)

"20 feet by 8 feet by 8 feet eh"

In 2010 it better be 1 by 4 by 9.

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Aha! (Score:3, Funny)

by Dark Lord Seth ( 584963 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:19PM (#9122002) Journal

See? Those Longhorn specs are quite easy to achieve... Now let's sit back and wait for Intel or AMD to come up with a 1x1x1m slab of silicon that can melt graphite and run Longhorn at the same time!

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Re:Finally (Score:4, Funny)

by MaxiCat_42 ( 711203 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:19PM (#9122005)

Sounds like the beginnings of Titus Andronicus.

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Useless Statistics! (Score:5, Funny)

by INMCM ( 209310 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:20PM (#9122008) Homepage

1 MILLION GIGS! BAH! That isn't news unless they convert it to some entirely inappropiate metric. How many Library of Congresses is this? How many 128kbps MP3s can you store on it. And most importantly, how many floppy disks is this equivalent too?!

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Re:Don't get too excited (Score:4, Funny)

by danormsby ( 529805 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:20PM (#9122011) Homepage

Almost a Petabit though.

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I can see the office manager now... (Score:5, Funny)

by stienman ( 51024 ) writes: <adavis&ubasics,com> on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:20PM (#9122013) Homepage Journal

Office manager: "Hey, Adam, do you know why our power usage might have gone up this last month?"

I surreptitiously conceal the firewire cable going out the side door.

Adam: "No, John, I haven't the foggiest."

OM: "Ok, well I'll ask Kim when I talk to her about the strange shipping container outside. Thanks."

-Adam

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A petabyte here, a petabyte there... (Score:2, Funny)

by rikomatic ( 673311 ) writes: <rikomatic@@@yahoo...com> on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:20PM (#9122017)

... and pretty soon you're talking REAL storage.

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pedo, not peta (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:21PM (#9122021)

you perverts try to hide your pr0n, but we know what you do with these things...

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Immortality? (Score:5, Funny)

by Sir Nimrod ( 163306 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:21PM (#9122023)
In his novel 3001 Arthur C. Clarke asserted/speculated that one petabyte would be sufficient space to store a lifetime's memories. (He didn't say if this was compressed.)

So, assuming you can handle the trivial exercise of transferring your memories (the implementation of which is left as an exercise for the reader), immortality is yours for the buying!
1. Transfer memories to Petabox. Sign with your public key, so everyone knows it's you. Don't encrypt!
2. Put Petabox in shipping container, along with retrieval instructions in English, Esperanto, and Chinese (to cover your bases).
3. Bury shipping container in Yucca Mountain. (It's unlikely to ever see any nuclear waste, and it'd be a shame to waste the space.)
4. Kill yourself.
5. Wait for a society (a) advanced enough to restore you and (b) rich enough to bother.
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well i know that... (Score:1, Funny)

by ambienceman ( 721763 ) writes: <crazywolfeyes@yah o o . c om> on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:25PM (#9122071) Homepage

This is totally unnecessary. EVERYONE knows we only need 640k

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In other news... (Score:3, Funny)

by nacturation ( 646836 ) writes: <nacturation AT gmail DOT com> on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:28PM (#9122098) Journal

Duke Nukem Forever is "ready"!

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themselves, not google... (Score:4, Funny)

by SuperBanana ( 662181 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:36PM (#9122171)

Can we say, Goooooooooooooooogle?
I'm guessing they were referring to themselves, not google.

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Re:Don't get too excited (Score:3, Funny)

by 0racle ( 667029 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:36PM (#9122172)

Ya but what a rack it is.

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Re:To bad it won't last... (Score:5, Funny)

by Tailhook ( 98486 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:39PM (#9122191)

...but I mean in 400 years how is anyone going to know what we were like...

What tiny fraction of our history is actually preserved in a useful manner will be misinterpreted and spun in ways you can't possibly imagine. 400 years from now you will be known as an ignorant fool guilty of untold crimes against lord knows whom. This will be true regardless of the quality of the archive used to figure you out.

So don't worry about it.

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Re:Finally (Score:2, Funny)

by TTK Ciar ( 698795 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:52PM (#9122316) Homepage Journal

Argh .. well, I made sure vi and emacs were installed, and jove is installed (my personally preferred editor), and pico is installed, but there is no teco.

Guess your monkeys will have to use something else :-)

-- TTK

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Makes life easier (Score:2, Funny)

by esvoboda ( 166456 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:55PM (#9122341)

Good, now I don't need to delete my spam.

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Re:Ummmm (Score:2, Funny)

by shigelojoe ( 590080 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:56PM (#9122351)

Obscure? This is Slashdot we're talking about here. ;D

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actually... (Score:5, Funny)

by MarcoAtWork ( 28889 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @07:59PM (#9122389)

given that monkeys have basically four hands I think they'd be more suited for emacs (alt-meta-control-super-hyper-shift-q) than vi ;-)

I have been using emacs for nearly 10 years now and I swear sometimes I have been seriously considering adding a foot pedal or 2 to my setup (besides control, shift and meta I also routinely use Super and Hyper, xmodmap is great!)

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Re:colossal... (Score:4, Funny)

by Cyno01 ( 573917 ) writes: <Cyno01@hotmail.com> on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @08:05PM (#9122453) Homepage

They sing?

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Re:Potential customers (Score:5, Funny)

by lewp ( 95638 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @08:48PM (#9122780) Journal

NASA just uses an alien with a really good memory to store all their data. The IRS doesn't store any data at all. They just make shit up on the fly.

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Re:Immortality? (Score:5, Funny)

by theLOUDroom ( 556455 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @08:55PM (#9122819)

Transfer memories to Petabox. Sign with your public key, so everyone knows it's you. Don't encrypt!

Don't encrypt! Ye gods man!
I don't know about you, but I have a few things I wouldn't like people to know about, even long after I'm dead.
I mean, let's face it, not all our memories are that flattering.

And anyways, I'm pretty sure some of the memories from my college years are already "encrypted".

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WTF? (Score:5, Funny)

by imag0 ( 605684 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @09:18PM (#9123039) Homepage

If you gave me a 100 mbit line, it would take me over 92 days to fill it up with porn. More if I slept.

yeah, but if you looked closer, it's the same 6 gigs over and over again.

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Petabox? BAH - GMAIL! (Score:5, Funny)

by Compulawyer ( 318018 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @09:21PM (#9123063)

I'm just gonna get 1,000,000 free Gmail addresses and email all my data to myself 1 Gb at a time.

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Re:colossal... (Score:4, Funny)

by iminplaya ( 723125 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @09:23PM (#9123073) Journal

You can fit a Spice Girl on a floppy.

Or, you can fit two floppies on a Spice Girl
"Sock it to me."

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Re:two words (Score:2, Funny)

by maczmail ( 624087 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @09:58PM (#9123308)

Good luck trying to create a taxonomy to organize a PB worth of objects much less a file system! /dev/FrigginHUGE

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If you're a big fan of this much storage? (Score:5, Funny)

by stox ( 131684 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @10:35PM (#9123548) Homepage

Does that make you a petaphile?

[massive karma burn detected]

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Re:Useless Statistics! (Score:3, Funny)

by carlislematthew ( 726846 ) writes: on Tuesday May 11, 2004 @11:25PM (#9123775)

"40,000 miles when laid end on end"
What the hell does that mean? How many times around the earth is that? How many times to the moon and back?
START MAKING SENSE!

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That's Nice But... (Score:4, Funny)

by dbretton ( 242493 ) writes: on Wednesday May 12, 2004 @01:42AM (#9124231) Homepage

Is there enough disk space left to do anything useful after installing WinXP on it?

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Just nerds seem to reply... (Score:2, Funny)

by Chreo ( 694625 ) writes: on Wednesday May 12, 2004 @05:45AM (#9124937)

... but honestly, that's a lotta pr0n!

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There may be more comments in this discussion. Without JavaScript enabled, you might want to turn on Classic Discussion System in your preferences instead.

Finally (Score:5, Funny)

colossal... (Score:2, Funny)

I'd buy one.... (Score:5, Funny)

Can you get one... (Score:2, Funny)

One question... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:colossal... (Score:5, Funny)

Potential customers (Score:5, Funny)

Ummmm (Score:2, Funny)

Re:wrong (Score:3, Funny)

Ahhh... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Finally (Score:5, Funny)

Ohh Good, now I can buy Longhorn (Score:5, Funny)

Re:I'd buy one.... (Score:5, Funny)

one petabyte? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:wrong (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Finally (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Ummmm (Score:3, Funny)

Aha! (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Finally (Score:4, Funny)

Useless Statistics! (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Don't get too excited (Score:4, Funny)

I can see the office manager now... (Score:5, Funny)

A petabyte here, a petabyte there... (Score:2, Funny)

pedo, not peta (Score:1, Funny)

Immortality? (Score:5, Funny)

well i know that... (Score:1, Funny)

In other news... (Score:3, Funny)

themselves, not google... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Don't get too excited (Score:3, Funny)

Re:To bad it won't last... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Finally (Score:2, Funny)

Makes life easier (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Ummmm (Score:2, Funny)

actually... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:colossal... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Potential customers (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Immortality? (Score:5, Funny)

WTF? (Score:5, Funny)

Petabox? BAH - GMAIL! (Score:5, Funny)

Re:colossal... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:two words (Score:2, Funny)

If you're a big fan of this much storage? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Useless Statistics! (Score:3, Funny)

That's Nice But... (Score:4, Funny)

Just nerds seem to reply... (Score:2, Funny)

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