Homeless to be Implanted with Subdermal RFID Tags 511
An anonymous reader writes "Politech has the scoop on the Bush administration's plans to forcibly implant RFID tags into homeless people in participating U.S. cities. Here's an excerpt from the UPI article: "The miniscule RFID tags are no larger than a matchstick and will be implanted subdermally, meaning under the skin. Data from RFID tracking stations mounted on telephone poles will be transmitted to police and
social service workers, who will use custom Windows NT software to track movements of the homeless in real time... A second phase of the project, scheduled to be completed in early 2005, will wirelessly transmit live information on the locations of homeless people to handheld computers running the Windows CE operating system.""
Because (Score:4)
Re:Because (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Because (Score:3, Funny)
Sadly enough you know it's an April Fool's hoax with that first sentence alone.
Re:Because (Score:3)
Re:Because (Score:4, Insightful)
re: Soylent Green (Score:5, Funny)
Re:And the only thing more terrifying than a (Score:3, Insightful)
Cool.. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Cool.. (Score:5, Funny)
"Found cache easily. Coordinates a bit off, though. Took empty whiskey bottle, left Play-Doh."
"Took me a while to find this one, the GPS was all over the place. Cache is in bad shape and smells of liquor. TNLN, thanks for bringing us to this beautiful neighborhood!"
"Found the cache after some bushwhacking. Our kids enjoyed the chat with the cache owner. Took nothing, left some Ramen noodle soup."
Re:Cool.. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Cool.. (Score:5, Funny)
One step closer to a Gattacan Society.... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:One step closer to a Gattacan Society.... (Score:5, Funny)
And Howard Dean said "GwaUEAUEAAUE".
Re:One step closer to a Gattacan Society.... (Score:5, Funny)
You misspelled "assmutilate"
Re:One step closer to a Gattacan Society.... (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:One step closer to a Gattacan Society.... (Score:2)
If there was ever a time for a -1 sucker moderation, this is it.
Re:One step closer to a Gattacan Society.... (Score:5, Interesting)
All the rest of you are already being tracked by your:
credit card
membership card (wall mart, sams, grocery store, etc.)
utility bills
bank
employer(time cards, drug testing, etc.)
state ID
IRS
ISP
slashdot(you never know)
Did I miss anything?
Re:One step closer to a Gattacan Society.... (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:One step closer to a Gattacan Society.... (Score:4, Funny)
How else do you think the "identify" people by their dental records.
Re:One step closer to a Gattacan Society.... (Score:4, Interesting)
Only your brain.
(Sorry... I'm in a bad mood and I have some karma to burn. 'Twas not intended as a comment on you as a person, of course.)
The RFID chips would be tracking realtime movement rather than traffic stops, debts, or purchases. While the items in your list can track the periodic locations of a person, they do not provide realtime location data.
As for the article: I'm pretty sure it's an "April Fool's" prank, just picked up a bit late. After all, the RFID detectors would need some kind of return response, and I don't imagine that the RFID tags could have that much antenna power (or electric power at all, for that matter). Not to mention that the whole thing would be flawed by the problems encountered with underground telephone lines and cutting tools which might be used to remove an RFID chip (and for extra fun, that chip could be placed underneath a stray cat's collar or wrapped in tin foil for a magpie or crow to pick up).
So... I'm not ready to believe this information, just yet.
If I see it a week from now, I'll consider it with more weight.
~UP
Re:One step closer to a Gattacan Society.... (Score:3, Informative)
What the #$%#? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What the #$%#? (Score:2)
Hey, that sounds like a good idea for an April Fools joke! I think I'll write it up so Slashdot can post it next year.
Re:What the #$%#? (Score:2)
Why don't you patent it?
Re:What the #$%#? (Score:2)
And I bet the smell of burning karma is funnier that the string of crap that masquerades as April's fools jokes on /.
Re:What the #$%#? (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:What the #$%#? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What the #$%#? (Score:3, Interesting)
Unless, of course, the power source gets it's power from the movement of body. I have seen such power sources on wristwatches.
You could also make use of the constantly changing pressure in blood vessels to power pietzoelectric crystals, or you could put a little turbine inside some blood vessel or windpipe (thought that might be irritating to the subject), or you could simply put the generator to the
walmart is selling homeless people? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:walmart is selling homeless people? (Score:5, Funny)
Something's been bugging me for a long long time.. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Something's been bugging me for a long long tim (Score:2, Funny)
Step 2: Purchase new device. Help economy.
Step 3: Windows CE has been restarted successfully.
Simple. Microsoft borrowed technology... (Score:5, Funny)
argh (Score:5, Funny)
(huddles in corner wearing tinfoil hat whilst sucking on thumb)
This is not entirely a joke. (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:This is not entirely a joke. (Score:5, Interesting)
OK, enough is enough. (Score:5, Insightful)
This sounds like someone's idea of a very bad joke.
This is mild for Bush (Score:3, Flamebait)
Re:OK, enough is enough. (Score:5, Funny)
No, it's absolutely true. Polling shows it'll play well in the midwest.
In the words of Red Foreman, "Don't be such a dumbass."
Polling does NOT show it would play midwest well. (Score:4, Informative)
Yes, I know that you're continuing the political propaganda ^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H alleged joke.
But, no, polling does not show it would play well in the midwest. Or with the right wing - especially the Christian Right. Even a trial balloon on this subject would result in a guaranteed loss for Bush in the next election.
FYI: There is nobody more rabidly opposed to implanted RFID tracking devices than a Christian Fundamentalist. While right-wingers in general are suspicious of programs that invade personal privacy (since they are perceived as mostly used, once instituted, by left-wingers to dump on their political enemies), an implanted I.D. chip plays directly into one of the Christian Fundamentalists' hot buttons.
An implanted RFID device is an indellible "mark" transmitting a number - the serial number of the device (which is used as an index to an external database of personal information) and/or any stored information (which is also encoded as a binary string, i.e. a number).
According to a Christian Fundamentalist, tagging people with a government-mandated indelible identification number is applying the "Mark of the Beast". (See the Book of Revalations.) The person who would cause that to occur as a government program is the Antichrist, it happens as the end times and final battle are approaching, anybody who lets it happen to him has signed up with the wrong side, etc.
This opposition to anything even approximating applying a number to people, especially if related to financial transactions (which includes aid programs) is SO strong that it has been a problem even during the rollouts of Social Security, the Income Tax, credit cards, ATM debit cards, and online banking services.
Bush and his administration have been clueless enough to do a number of things to tweak off their electoral base. But mandating an implanted I.D. number in the face of this well-known (on the right) hotbutton issue would be cluelessness far beyond the pale. Essentially ALL of his advisors would be SCREAMING at him if he gave the SLIGHTEST sign of being in favor of such a scheme.
Which is why you KNOW this is another (literally) damned April Fool joke.
Confound this evil plot! (Score:5, Informative)
... Informative? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Confound this evil plot! (Score:2)
Re:Confound this evil plot! (Score:5, Funny)
You can defeat this plot by putting the homeless person in a microwave.
I love meta-humor. The moderation of the parent Informative is funnier than the parent's joke itself, and way funnier than the story.
Re:Confound this evil plot! (Score:2)
I'd have to agree, I've been laughing more at this one moderation/comment than any AF story today.
Re:You insensitive clod (Score:2)
You just need to cut the person into small enough pieces to stack into a normal sized microwave. Sheesh.
Sure. (Score:5, Funny)
That's a joke all in itself.
Re:Sure. (Score:2)
Yes, I know it's April first.
Not actually too far from reality (Score:5, Insightful)
I am invloved in an effort to produce an open source HMIS, so that if we are required to have tracking systems, at least they will be inexpensive and under the control of non-commercial entities. You can see a demo of the open HMIS at: homeless-mis.net [homeless-mis.net] It uses PHP and Postgres (or MS-SQL if you like that sort of thing....)
The idea of integrated information systems actually started with homeless advocates that wanted to improve services through coordinated service delivery. But, like any tool, HMISs can be mis-used, and sometimes you wonder what motiviates these federal requirements.
Re:Not actually too far from reality (Score:3, Insightful)
I sincerely hope you are kidding. Forcibly implanting ID tags in people is the stuff of science fiction, and that's exactly what it should be: fiction.
Anything else is a direct violation of basic human rights. There is no good reason for it, and if in place it will be abused.
I agree, implanted ID tags are crazy (Score:5, Informative)
This was obviously written by someone who works with homeless programs. PATH is a real program, funded under the McKinney grant, and they are actually deploying Palms to collect data on mentally ill homeless persons.
On any other day, I would actually have believed this for half a second. Clearly, there are big privacy issues with collecting any sort of information on people. The current requirements make me any many others very uncomfortable. The federal government has actually received quite a bit of push back over this issue, and the final rule has been delayed for more than a year as a result of the privacy concerns.
Thankfully, it look like HUD will be making significant concessions to address community concerns, that will result in a final requirement that better protects client privacy.
Re:Not actually too far from reality (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:Not actually too far from reality (Score:3, Insightful)
Windows NT....Real time (Score:5, Funny)
Drone Aircraft Part of the Plan (Score:2)
I also heard that "Drone UAVs will be used to provide live video if necessary of any and all actions of said individuals."
I also heard these people are first in line for new jobs with the TSA
I personally think... (Score:2, Funny)
A telephone pole sized one.
Anally.
From bad to worse! (Score:2, Funny)
What's next, Research showing Sco kill Mother Teresa?
Plese let it stop!
Is it still 1st April in the morning somewhere? (Score:2)
Re:Is it still 1st April in the morning somewhere? (Score:2)
Re:Is it still 1st April in the morning somewhere? (Score:2)
Re:Is it still 1st April in the morning somewhere? (Score:2, Funny)
"Mid-morning on the 2nd" is still ~18 hours away. Hell, midnight is still nearly 9 hours away!
Subscribers get better April Fool's jokes (Score:2, Insightful)
Relax folks, the workday is ending here in the CST and I don't need more articles to pass the time, tomorrow will be back to normal, no harm, no foul. Hell, I've even read more /. today than I usually do.
I like knowing that the crew here knows how to take a day off, unlike many of the rest of us.
Holy shit I am paranoid. (Score:2)
Re:Holy shit I am paranoid. (Score:3, Funny)
Honestly now... (Score:5, Insightful)
Re:Honestly now... (Score:3, Insightful)
Tracking the homeless? (Score:5, Insightful)
So now... (Score:2, Redundant)
Yay! (Score:2)
Stage Three.... (Score:2)
Stage three uses the rest of the matchstick probe (RFIDs are really tiny) to upload a custom version of Windows XP to all infected hosts.
Bill Gates, CSA of Microsoft, is quoted as saying, "This will create thousands of pay wireless internet terminals in major metro areas and simultaneously helping thousands of unfortunate souls. I am God."
Yet to be seen, however, is the effect of crashes, such as STOP errors, which has caused heart attacks
Why God? Why dost thou mock me so? (Score:2)
great idea to help homeless! (Score:2)
Jokes on you (Score:2)
I think this joke's on
The remaining gnome steps... (Score:2)
Step 4: Profit!!!
I'm really offended by this (Score:2, Funny)
crap, library's closing. bbl
We should put them in criminals too (Score:5, Funny)
Better, you could program the automatic doors of your home or office to not let in tagged criminals.
By storing the information in XML format, you can interactively query a RFIDed criminal to find out what their background is (violent vs. non-violent, type of theft, drug use, current income level, gender, SSN, credit history, etc.) and let your security system decide on the fly whether you want that particular entity on your premises.
In fact, governments, building owners, and residents could publish their specification for the type of people they will allow into their space -this will solve all sorts of social ills in the future. The Upper Eastside of New York City, for example, could specify:
<Entities_Allowed>
<Income minimum="50000"/>
<Convictions allowed="white_collar"/>
<Race allowed="caucasian,asian"/>
<Memberships disallowed="ACLU,NYCLU"/>
<Jokes onyou="april foools"
</Entities_Allowed>
Man, these stories just aren't good. (Score:3, Insightful)
Fair and Balanced... (Score:2)
They also plan to put one in John Kerry's head to figure out where he is at. At this time, nobody seems to be able to figure out where he is on any issue. With this device, we'll be able to track him in real time as he flip-flops his way through the polls.
No larger than a MATCHSTICK ...?! (Score:5, Funny)
Dude, I don't know about your matchsticks
-kgj
The Homeless are not worth the trouble. (Score:3, Insightful)
If Upper Management wanted to tag homeless people, they'd be tagged already, and the only reason it might be done would be to soften the rest of the public up. Though, truthfully, I'd see it starting with prisoners, then parolees, then addicts who get free needles, then people receiving unemployment benefits. Then Islamics.
But even all of that would only be a psychological form of control; something purely to make you know that you're the dog and break down your spirit of rebellion. In truth, the 'real' threats, (regular people with jobs and pseudo-power), are already tagged. You carry one or two of them around with you in your wallet and you produce them for regular scanning. And beyond that, you'll probably be wearing a tag or two in your fancy GAP pants by the end of this year without even realizing it.
Anyway, all these April Fool's stories are giving me a stomach ache. Not a single one of them so far would be terribly out of place on a regular news day. That'll give anybody with a soul gastric problems.
-FL
Hurry midnight (Score:3, Insightful)
Homeless Buying Microwave Ovens? (Score:5, Funny)
A few years ago, I went into a Sears to buy a new microwave oven. They had a display model that was really cheap, so I decided to buy it. The sale associate says "Whats your name" and I say "Why do you need my name? I'm paying cash for this" and he replies "Because the computer tells me to".
I ask "Does the computer tell you other things?" He doesn't get it. So I say "Jackie Brown" (just watched the movie the night before). He says "Huh? But..." but types it in anyway. Then he asks for my address. I reply "I don't have an address, I'm homeless." Mind you, I'm wearing nice clothes, driving a new car, etc. He asks "If you're homeless, then why do you need a microwave?" I respond "Because I don't have one." Increasingly frustrated, he says "I have to put something in." So I pick up a card and read the stores address to him. By this time a couple of other bored sales associates have come round. He doesn't like my answer, but types it in anyway. Then I pull a fat wad out of my pocket and peel off a hundred. And walk out with my oven.
-cp-
Personal story (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Hmm (Score:4, Funny)
real (Score:4, Funny)
Turn on CSPAN if you don't believe me. Apparently the fifth cousin of an FBI detective that knew about 9/11 a few seconds before the first impact is homeless, and we suspect they're manufacturing WMD in secret rather than feed their own people.
Re:Jokes, jokes and more jokes! When will it end?! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Jokes, jokes and more jokes! When will it end?! (Score:2)
Re:Jokes, jokes and more jokes! When will it end?! (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:Jokes, jokes and more jokes! When will it end?! (Score:2)
Re:Jokes, jokes and more jokes! When will it end?! (Score:2)
No, I think your line is, "Somebody set up us the bomb." Then, we say, "All your dealsites are belong to us."
It looks like you have no chance to survive... make your time.
Re:Jokes, jokes and more jokes! When will it end?! (Score:2)
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
Re:Jokes, jokes and more jokes! When will it end?! (Score:3, Insightful)
OK, I gotta stop reading these crap April Fool's discussions...
Re:Jokes, jokes and more jokes! When will it end?! (Score:2)
No big deal... I've refreshed his page a few times (once it came back up), and it looks... lacking. If I were actually looking for something, I'd go elsewhere. Meanwhile, though, he's getting charged for bandwidth without generating any ad revenue... unless, of course, we *are* clicking through, in which case we're the ones with a screw loose.
Slashdot hasn't been this much fun since they c [slashdot.org]
Well (Score:2)
Re:Jokes, jokes and more jokes! When will it end?! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Jokes, jokes and more jokes! When will it end?! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:didn't MS officially kill NT? (Score:2)
Re:Third phase (Score:2)
Re:Third phase (Score:2)