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Wearable Technology Fashion Show 174

Posted by michael from the beauty-is-in-the-eye-of-the-camera-holder dept.
jlouderb writes "I know, it's been done before. But at the recent CTIA show I stumbled onto a wearable computing fashion show. It was weird. I had my camera and filched a copy of the show script. Combined together, you get a bizarre pastiche of scrawny models attempting to make phones, notebooks, video cameras and more into fashion statements. Just too surreal for words."
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Wearable Technology Fashion Show More

Wearable Technology Fashion Show

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  • Does this include (Score:1, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward
    strap on vibrators ?

  • Hey mom! (Score:5, Funny)

    by thebra ( 707939 ) * on Friday March 26, 2004 @12:40PM (#8680562) Homepage Journal
    "I need a new pair of pants, my other ones have a virus!"
  • I don't know if it's just me, but doesn't the first model in the set of pictures (Nomad Augmented Vision System) look like some random Borg like creature with her headset and red-eye?

  • uhh.. (Score:5, Interesting)

    by garcia ( 6573 ) * on Friday March 26, 2004 @12:41PM (#8680571)
    Semi-starved models flounced around the runway sporting mobile (and not so mobile) gear, accessories and smart clothing.

    I realize that women have been getting into the geek market lately (with the iPod-mini, various games, etc) but man, I really don't see how this fashion show was giving me any inkling of how this stuff would look on ME.

    90 pound models wearing sheer clothing and silver head gear, helmets, and carrying large backpacks isn't exactly what I think works.

    Show me people dressed in t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. Show me men/women dressed in business suits.

    • Re:uhh.. (Score:5, Funny)

      by drooling-dog ( 189103 ) on Friday March 26, 2004 @12:50PM (#8680680)
      90 pound models wearing sheer clothing and silver head gear, helmets, and carrying large backpacks isn't exactly what I think works.

      It works for me...

    • Re:uhh.. (Score:5, Funny)

      by Saeed al-Sahaf ( 665390 ) on Friday March 26, 2004 @12:50PM (#8680687) Homepage
      Well, Bill, I don't think they will sell any of this stuff by strapping it to 250 pound pasty white geek guys with a bottle of Dew in one hand.
    • 90 pound models wearing sheer clothing and silver head gear, helmets, and carrying large backpacks isn't exactly what I think works.

      I bet it works as a movie treatment.

    • Re:uhh.. (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Strange Ranger ( 454494 )

      That brings up an interesting point.

      I thought the Emaciated Ghoul look went out of style? I was hoping. I like tall thin girls. Quit a bit, oh yeah! But many of those models look like sunken-eyed junkies. Vaccuum sealed bags of bones too malnourished to provide life support for a modest pair of breasts. I always thought sexy and healthy went hand in hand?

      Each to their own I guess.

      Back on topic, that Wildseed phone looks like it came straight from a ST:DS9 Bajoran.
      • I thought the Emaciated Ghoul look went out of style? I was hoping. I like tall thin girls. Quit a bit, oh yeah! But many of those models look like sunken-eyed junkies. Vaccuum sealed bags of bones too malnourished to provide life support for a modest pair of breasts. I always thought sexy and healthy went hand in hand?

        Did you *actually* look at the picures in the story? Yea, I know, not the Slashdot way. Most if not all look *quite* healthy to me...

    • Re:uhh.. (Score:3, Funny)

      by gmkeegan ( 160779 )
      You're missing one of the basic premises of marketing. The message here is that if you buy the products that the models are promoting, not only will you look and be as cool as they are, they and other highly attractive females will want to have sex with you!

      This sig intentionally left semi-blank

  • New? New? (Score:5, Funny)

    by Realistic_Dragon ( 655151 ) on Friday March 26, 2004 @12:42PM (#8680576) Homepage
    I'll have you know I've been wearing a VAX since the mid 70s.

    Mobile power computing AND a good daily workout.
    • > I'll have you know I've been wearing a VAX since the mid 70s.

      VAXen, my children, just don't belong in some places. *rimshot*

  • Finally! (Score:4, Funny)

    by Savatte ( 111615 ) on Friday March 26, 2004 @12:42PM (#8680582) Homepage Journal
    A legitimate reason for cameras in shoes, besides for taking upskirt pictures. Technology rules!

  • I pity... (Score:3, Funny)

    by frodo from middle ea ( 602941 ) on Friday March 26, 2004 @12:43PM (#8680592) Homepage
    the fool, who liks a article with pcitures and a slide show at that, and pictures of fashion models to boot, on slashdot.

  • Fashion. (Score:4, Interesting)

    by SatanicPuppy ( 611928 ) <SatanicpuppyNO@SPAMgmail.com> on Friday March 26, 2004 @12:43PM (#8680605) Journal
    Fashion all too often seems like the opposite of tech.

    Tech is all about having things that work (or ought to work). Form follows function, and the coolest things are the things that function best. Appearance is strictly secondary for any knowledgable user (which is probably the sticking point here).

    Whereas fashion is all about things that are nonfunctional. The most fashionable things are the least practical ones, at least as far as the fashion pundits are concerned.

    Doesn't surprise me that the fashion people are trying to add a fashion element to tech, though I can't help but think that its doomed. Form and function are too closely linked.

    • Re: Fashion. (Score:4, Insightful)

      by baudilus ( 665036 ) on Friday March 26, 2004 @12:51PM (#8680692)
      You're forgetting about the MOTR people out there. We all know that the most nerdy people couldn't care less about the look of their tech, they just care that it works. Conversely, no matter how cool it looks, the high fashion snooty types would never WEAR a phone. That's just too lowbrow [lowbrow.com].

      Ah, but then there's the majority of people out there that would think, "How cool is that phone! I have to get one!" Believe it or not, those are the people that drive sales like the iPod mini and things that seem wasteful to us /.'ers. Those are the people that these things target. Lots of disposable income, average IQ.

      gg
      • Ah, but then there's the majority of people out there that would think, "How cool is that phone! I have to get one!" Believe it or not, those are the people that drive sales like the iPod mini and things that seem wasteful to us /.'ers. Those are the people that these things target. Lots of disposable income, average IQ. Dude. That's way too harsh. I think you should give people some credit for knowing what their needs or wants are versus what they can afford.

        • Re: Fashion. (Score:3, Insightful)

          by sTalking_Goat ( 670565 )
          I think you should give people some credit for knowing what their needs or wants are versus what they can afford.

          rofl. I don't know where you live. Where I live people's needs are driven by whats hip ATM. I've watched kids I worked with at retail stores for just above min wage blow two weeks pay on a platinum watch. I watched a 27 year old guy working at UPS for 15.00 an hour, living at home with his parents so he can drive a pre-owned Lexus with $1500 Rims. I've known people who change their cell phones e

        • Dude. That's way too harsh. I think you should give people some credit for knowing what their needs or wants are versus what they can afford.

          I don't. Ever since the peak of the dot-com bubble, in the US, consumer debt has exceeded the GDP. Kind of implies that people are spending *way* more than they make.
      • Hmmm.

        Well, aside from the changable faceplates, most phones just seem to be trying to be more like Trek communicators, which would suggest that even celebs and people with too much disposable income are dorks.

        I always think of Zoolander, with the micro cellphone the size of a cheezit.

      • Re: Fashion. (Score:3, Insightful)

        by Strange Ranger ( 454494 )
        > no matter how cool it looks, the high fashion snooty types would never WEAR a phone.

        As a mid-fashion average man who has been known to go into fairly nice sports bars with his fishing vest still on (oops)..

        I can tell you it NEVER looks cool to wear a phone. Think about it, they're now the same size as a pack of cigarettes, or smaller. You haven't seen anybody WEAR a pack of cigarettes since Schneider. [kfcplainfield.com]

        It's didn't make him cool, quite the opposite, in a very similar way as wearing a phone will nev
    • "form follows function" is a central bauhaus [bsu.edu] tenet - I've got a bauhaus-styled watch [klaus-kaufhold.de] and car, and you've probably seen these chairs [bsu.edu]. It is a fashion, it is functional, and in my eye, it's beautiful.
    • What about macs? and case mods? better yet-4x4 trucks. something can be both functional and beautiful at the same time. appearance is objective, so what looks cool to me, a gamer, looks stupid to "cooler" high fasion people. also, a device being wearable is another part of function, not form. being able to take your computer with you in a more portable form than a laptop could be extremely useful to some users. these devices might replace PDA's, but then again, they might just fall into the cracks as new

  • Poor Wire Girl (Score:4, Funny)

    by stoolpigeon ( 454276 ) <bittercode@gmail> on Friday March 26, 2004 @12:44PM (#8680612) Homepage Journal
    Wire Girl (designed by Gabriele Semeco) represents our bodies chained to our wired technology. Thought I was reading a new strongbad email for a minute.

    • Three days ago, I was trying to untangle a spool of bare wire used for thermocouples. By the time I got through, I had enough pieces to wire my pants. With a little luck, I might even get tangled up with someone like #15.
      Normally I just get a short circuit.

  • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday March 26, 2004 @12:45PM (#8680623)
    and in other news, SCO has announced that it is extending its lawsuits to cover clothing that contains technology that may somehow be infringing on SCO's intellectual property.

    • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward
      They're literally going to sue the pants off people.

  • Sexy! (Score:1, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward
    The technology, not the models.
    • Ah! So I wasn't the only one sitting there going "Ok, now where can I buy that?" and wishing the pictures would focus more on the actual product...

  • Article text (Score:4, Funny)

    by Mateito ( 746185 ) on Friday March 26, 2004 @12:46PM (#8680632) Homepage
    Just kidding.

    You don't load this page for the article.

  • Burton iPod jacket (Score:5, Informative)

    by bblackfrog ( 513266 ) on Friday March 26, 2004 @12:47PM (#8680639)
    While this iPod jacket [burton.com] from Burton is probably not bizarre pastiche enough to make the fashion show, I'd say it's a practical example of Wearable Technology.

    • Re:Burton iPod jacket (Score:4, Insightful)

      by Ed_Moyse ( 171820 ) on Friday March 26, 2004 @01:11PM (#8680903) Homepage
      I wouldn't know, since I couldn't see the pcture. Instead (after a click) I got this:
      Site Requirements
      If you're visiting this page it probably means that you are experiencing some technical difficulties (or you're a computer nerd).

      Our sites use advanced internet technologies that require the latest and greatest internet browsers and plug-ins. The good news is that you can upgrade for free.

      Well THANKS mr/ms webmaster but actually I *AM* up to date (latest version of opera), but am out of luck because we use linux at work.

      It's annoying enough not to be able to look at webpages because of some totally unnecessary plugin, without being told that it's because I'm behind the times. Flash/QT/Whatever is NOT needed to show a fucking picture. Back to amazon I go, which is focused on being as accessible to as many potential customers as possible, rather than allowing some web designer to toss off.

    • While this iPod jacket from Burton is probably not bizarre pastiche enough to make the fashion show, I'd say it's a practical example of Wearable Technology.

      Yeah, once the novelty wears off, you want something that doesn't make you look like a slave to bad fashion.

      My personal favorite was by Andy Ink... Andy Inkha... that guy who writes for MacWorld. He had a holster for his Newton that was fashioned from a tactical pistol holster. Pity that google only turns up tangental references.

  • Not a mature technology by any means, but soon (Score:5, Insightful)

    by drkhwk82 ( 202181 ) on Friday March 26, 2004 @12:47PM (#8680644)
    Wearable computing is a technology that simply hasn't come to maturity yet. Things need to get smaller. But as some further down this page have done lets look at the possibilities.

    First, realize that the human body isn't designed to support any large quantity of hardware where most of the sensory organs are clustered, consequently we have to seperate the display from the CPU. The torso is an ideal place to put this sort of thing, both for weight purposes and for its relitivly easy access for the user (try typing on your head sometime).

    As for applications, the possibilities are limitless. I'll stick to Augmented Reality for most of my examples.

    1.) Imagine a surgon with a system capable of integrating the data from Xrays, CAT scans, and other probes on the fly and displaying that data in real time, actualy altering the view of the patients body. This amounts to fewer head movements, faster surgeries (particularly key in an ER), and fewer mistakes. This same principal can be extended to an auto mechanic, or any number of other occupations.

    2.) Tired of lugging your laptop, cellphone, PDA, etc around? Meet the ultimate virtual office. A pair of MEMS projectors mounted on a pair of sunglasses traces the "office" in 3d onto your retinas. Tracking systems (much like those allready in use today) track the movement of your fingers in relitive position to your body. By tracking these movements the user can type on a non-existant keyboard and navigate a 3d "desktop" in real space. Metaphors provide interfaces for important applications. Integrate an audio device with this and you can easily move your entire office to the bench in the park without anyone being the wiser.

    It doesn't take a lot of immagination to work out how this could be an amazing application. Yes, right now it looks like a bad cross between C3P0 and a Electircal Engineering project gone awry. Nonetheless, in 10 years you'll probably see it integrating into the lining of a designer series of jackets, sunglasses, and hats worn by every trendy highschool and college kid in the country.

  • And now for a T&A break from our sponsor...... (Score:5, Funny)

    by dlosey ( 688472 ) on Friday March 26, 2004 @12:47PM (#8680648)
    This is a great excuse to post a nice slideshow of some hot babes. Great job.

    It provides a great break to the workday, right around lunchtime.

    Oh, and the new technology is nice too.

  • Defrag! (Score:1, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward
    I'd like to defrag that!
    • You can do better, we know it. Let me get you started.

      I'd like to mount her filesystem.

      I'd like to fsck that.

      I'd love to probe those ports.

      etc.

  • Steve Mann as one of the models? I hope so. Unless, of course, they wanted people to actually _wear_ the tech ;-)



  • "The JoyDress is integrated with flexible vibrapads that vibrate by programmed impulses from a thin, user-controlled command pad connected by tiny wires. It enhances the feeling of body consciousness with pleasant sensations that energize feelings, stimulate blood circulation, and give you a gentle massage."

    Just imagine. Hacked to run linux, wireless LAN, etc, etc.
    • I thought the "JoyDress" had a button hidden on it that, when pressed, caused the dress to break apart and fall to the ground.

    • Hacker sex machine (Score:4, Funny)

      by rcastro0 ( 241450 ) on Friday March 26, 2004 @02:36PM (#8681966) Homepage
      The JoyDress is integrated with flexible vibrapads that vibrate by programmed impulses from a thin, user-controlled command pad (...)

      Baby, I can hack into your dress, and program impulses to make you feel like you've never felt before. I can make it vibrate and give you sensations you never thought possible -- pleasure you only dreamed about. Do you know what it means to be a woman ? Do you know just how many "multiple" means -- and how far I can lead you ? Come on now, naughty, open up that telnet connection...
  • The MicroOptical BV-1 video glasses I mean...
  • "bizarre pastiche of scrawny models attempting to make...fashion statements." Sounds like my high school.

  • Holy cow! (Score:5, Funny)

    by Genjurosan ( 601032 ) on Friday March 26, 2004 @12:56PM (#8680758)
    Are those breast implants or armor plating (blue bikini)???

    Now that's wearable technology in action.
  • A form-fitting, hand-controlled, twenty-first century navigator, this device manipulates the Internet?s visual data field as the user moves through three-dimension cyberspace with the ease of air typing. Your desires are communicated via beams of light as optical reflectance ushers in a new era in human interface.

    Oh, baby, you got it all! Beam me your desires and we'll navigate through 21st century cyberspace together.
  • Now a real "wardrobe malfunction" could *REALLY* wreck your day...

  • Is it just me? (Score:2, Insightful)

    by spidergoat2 ( 715962 )
    Everyone of those models, no matter how attractive, still looked like a dork with all those gadgets straped to them. It looked just like any other geek gear. Things like this will take a giant step forward when designers stop trying to make a PDA look cool, but instead, hide it in a Gucci handbag. Then they'll sell like hotcakes.
  • "The Resonator is an antenna unit that transmits and receives all sound-based communication via vibrations."

    Sub-etheric vibrations? Ectoplasmic vibrations? Good vibrations?

  • You gotta love the gold chick. The wire chick loks pretty bummed though.

  • Ahhh, the LightDress (Score:5, Funny)

    by PateraSilk ( 668445 ) <tedol AT isostandardstudio DOT com> on Friday March 26, 2004 @01:13PM (#8680927) Homepage
    "An embedded sensor registers emotion and communicates it through a visible light, with the intensity glowing to the extent of the emotion."

    That could be potentially embarrassing, no?

    That redhead certainly gets me glowing.

  • Silly pics? (Score:4, Funny)

    by groundscape ( 656723 ) on Friday March 26, 2004 @01:13PM (#8680928) Homepage
    If you think the pics look funny now, just wait 50 years. It will be the equivalent of a 60's mod girl with a reel to reel strapped to her ass.

  • Wow... (Score:2)

    by gUmbi ( 95629 )
    Baby, you can assimilate me anytime.
  • notice any technology? I just saw some fine looking women (and some guy but i skipped over him quick). It's amazing how they can get hard ware to blend in these days!!! (I did notice the alienware laptop, but thought it was a purse at first... oops, girls like that don't carry laptops though, they have minions to do that, or something)

  • This may be a first (Score:3, Funny)

    by JuggleGeek ( 665620 ) on Friday March 26, 2004 @01:16PM (#8680963)
    Just when you thought it could never happen.

    It's possible that everyone who posts to this thread will actually RTFA (or at least look at the pictures) for a change.

    • It's possible that everyone who posts to this thread will actually RTFA

      Maybe... It was only on my second run through the slide show that I actually noticed that there was text underneath the picture saying what the technology was and what it is supposed to do. Of course, how often do you "re-read" the article, so you are right, it is a first.
  • Years ago when invited to a Canon Computer show at the now out of business Fashion Cafe in NYC (Naomi Campbell was there) Canon attempted to create a fashion show out of their hardware.

    Among the notable and memorable features were:

    A woman that was dressed in about 200 sewn together Canon CD's.

    A guy rollerblading with an open working laptop in one hand and CD's in the other (on a 3 foot wide ramp 4 feet from the floor)

    And finally a model balancing (probably painfully) and Canon inkjet printer on her head and power cord dangling behind her.

    People - Computers are not a fashion statement...
  • my tradeshow class at GSU visited the show and from what I could tell the show was really just an event thrown together to attract more visitors. It wasn't reallyment to present a well thought out vision of the future or anything simular. It was really just a publicly stunt. A fun one though.

  • Back in the 1950's (Score:4, Interesting)

    by PeterCook ( 673216 ) <peter.cook@tTOKYOemple.edu minus city> on Friday March 26, 2004 @01:23PM (#8681030) Homepage
    The folks at the Eckert Mauchly Corporation in Philadelphia (makers of the UNIVAC computer) staged all kinds of stunts like this.

    They once had a woman in a Maidenform bra pose next to the UNIVAC for the "You Never Know Where The Maidenform Lady will show up next" ad campaign.

    Also many then famous celebrities posed with the UNIVAC like Angie Dickinson, Pat Boone, John Wayne and others.

  • Sorry i can't come out tonight (Score:1, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward

    my jacket keeps segfaulting so ive gotta stay in and recompile it

  • One more reason to... (Score:3, Funny)

    by AchilleTalon ( 540925 ) on Friday March 26, 2004 @01:41PM (#8681252) Homepage
    add backdoors to the software...

  • Hahaha (Score:3, Funny)

    by ziggy_zero ( 462010 ) on Friday March 26, 2004 @01:48PM (#8681337)
    The best part of it all is the looks on all the geeks' faces in the crowd (when you can see them)....they're obviously not used to seeing beautiful and/or scantily clad women in person ;).
  • I was at a hockey game the other night, and overheard two stunningly gorgeous early 20s girls who had just been hired as phone reps (a waste really) for a tech company say to each other, "I guess what they said to us about being nice to geeks, because you'll end up working for one, was true."

    I wanted to tell them they had LOTS of other career choices, some of which paid very well, but they may not like the job hazards. I didn't, of course. it would have been a sexist and demeaning thing to say, although p

  • Those designs are mediocre (Score:4, Insightful)

    by Animats ( 122034 ) on Friday March 26, 2004 @02:16PM (#8681695) Homepage
    That's an poor-looking fashion show. None of the outfits fit quite right. Major fashion shows have people backstage, frantically making alterations so that everything fits perfectly. This is more of a trade-show event. (That, by the way, is what actress/model/waitress types really do. Modelling, as an job, is a few hundred people who make real money, and an army of wannabees with low-paying day jobs. It's like movie extra work.)

    Cool-looking wearable devices have been made. But these aren't it. Gaultier's 80's styles would have been a better base to work from. Gadgetry fit better with punk style.

    With today's more conservative styles, a phone divided into a locket, an earring, and a base unit, using Bluetooth to tie the components together, would have more fashion potential. Small earring speaker, locket microphone. Choice of big, clunky wristband with screen ("sports phone") or handbag-carried base unit. It would be nice to eliminate the base station, but the battery is the limiting factor there. Add a jewelry box which inductively recharges the units placed inside it, and you have a product with fashion potential.

  • Thank the iPod and cellphone (Score:3, Interesting)

    by santos_douglas ( 633335 ) on Friday March 26, 2004 @02:19PM (#8681740) Journal
    Wearable tech has come a long way in the last few years, and I attribute it largely to the success of MP3 players like iPod, and the trend toward hands free cell phone attachments. I don't think wearing music earphones everywhere you go was really all that socially acceptable for a long time - sure when you were exercising or whatever it was fine, but it was rare to see someone just walking around a store with them on. And when I got my first cell phone a few years ago, I used an early earbud/boom mic combo almost exclusively out of both convenience and early fears of EM radiation. People made fun of me all the time for this! But now as I walk around the campus of a major university, half the thousands of undergrads I see everyday have their heads plugged in to one or the other. Now that it has become socially acceptable (dare i say - cool?) to adorn yourself with electronics, the move is really on to advance this market. Ideo may have jumped the gun a few years back with one of the first showcases of wearable tech, but they had the right idea.
  • You can look at the pictures and then try to find the gadget. It usually went like this for me :

    "Woah, nice!"
    "Oh, she's holding a phone."

    This picture [extremetech.com] looks like a good concept. After beating up that guy for looking way better then me (see : Fight Club), I can mug him of that expensive gadget.

  • BSOD? (Score:4, Funny)

    by spidergoat2 ( 715962 ) on Friday March 26, 2004 @03:03PM (#8682293) Journal
    If Microsoft gets involved, would some poor woman show up at an event only to discover the gizmo attached to her dress has malfunctioned and she's wearing a Blue Skirt Of Death?
  • ... But I know what I... excuse me, my pant's are ringing...
  • Going to take them a week of showering to feel clean again after having sunk so low in their careers to be modelling wearable computers to a room full of pasty geeks.
  • Well, maybe as a fashion statement, but not as wearable technology. As a boy, I could not imagine that the "Dick Tracy" wrist watch two-way radio (think cell phone) would ever become a reality. My first radio was a "wrist radio" with earphones and a trailing wire antenna - Back in 1956. Again not much of a fashion statement, but really was the envy of my friends.
  • I like this one [extremetech.com].

    quote
    The JoyDress is integrated with flexible vibrapads that vibrate by programmed impulses from a thin, user-controlled command pad connected by tiny wires. It enhances the feeling of body consciousness with pleasant sensations that energize feelings, stimulate blood circulation, and give you a gentle massage.
    /quote

  • If I hadn't chosen computer science as a major, I would have gone into fashion design. I like people who dress with style and I try to do it myself (or at least I have been told so). And here is something that I would like to share with my fellow slashdotters: please do not encorporate anything electronic into your clothing. Same goes for tappered jeans, shirts that say "Drunk Chicks Dig Me" and socks with sandals.

    Seriously, do not clip your cell phones, pages and other electronic devices to your belts.

  • I know this is posted way too late to be noticed/modded (thank you very much Spring Break), but I personally think that once Apple creates an iPod and a line of Macs that lets you create a skin for the casing itself by displaying a digital image on its surface we will start to see innovation in wearable computing.

    Imagine being able to change the color of your clothes on the fly. Imagine being able to display movies/images on your clothing. Obviously there would surely be some annoying advertising uses, bu

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