The Universal Card 358
retro128 writes "Wired News is carrying a story about a new product from Chameleon Network that's supposed to replace all of your credit/debit/customer cards. It can read the information off of the magnetic strips of credit/debit cards, scan the barcode off of customer loyalty cards, and even memorize the RFID signals of devices like the Mobil SpeedPass. All of this information is stored in a device called the Pocket Vault, and is unlocked with the user's fingerprint. If you wish to use a magnetic strip card, you select the card from the touch screen and put a Chameleon card, which looks like and can be run in standard readers like a credit card, in the Pocket Vault. The Chameleon card will then assume the identity of the card you selected, but only for 10 minutes. In this way, if the card is lost or stolen, nobody can use it. In the case of RFID, you just hold the Pocket Vault up to the RFID scanner for a reading. For barcode-based cards, the barcode will appear on the screen and can be scanned by a standard barcode reader. Chameleon Network says this technology will be available in early 2005 and is expected to cost under $200."
Yes but what about bluetooth? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Yes but what about bluetooth? (Score:2, Funny)
Gimmie your wallet! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:My vote: the current system (Score:1, Funny)
ATM? (Score:2, Funny)
The Ident-i-Eeze!! (Score:5, Funny)
It was an Ident-i-Eeze, and was a very naughty and silly thing for Harl to have lying around in his wallet, though it was perfectly understandable. There were so many different ways in which you were required to provide absolute proof of your identity these days that life could easily become extremely tiresome just from that factor alone, never mind the deeper existential problems of trying to function as a coherent consciousness in an epistemologically ambiguous physical universe. Just look at cash point machines, for instance. Queues of people standing around waiting to have their fingerprints read, their retinas scanned, bits of skin scraped from the nape of the neck and undergoing instant (or nearly instant-a good six or seven seconds in tedious reality) genetic analysis, then having to answer trick questions about members of their family they didn't even remember they had, and about their recorded preferences for tablecloth colours. And that was just to get a bit of spare cash for the weekend. If you were trying to raise a loan for a jetcar, sign a missile treaty or pay an entire restaurant bill things could get really trying.
Hence the Ident-i-Eeze. This encoded every single piece of information about you, your body and your life into one all-purpose machine-readable card that you could then carry around in your wallet, and therefore represented technology's greatest triumph to date over both itself and plain common sense.
Ford pocketed it.
Wow, how convenient. (Score:3, Funny)
A thief can now just steal my vault and get access to not only my credit cards, but get discounts at my grocery store!
I gotta go with the last line... It sounds cool, but it's just more hassle to actually use come purchase time.
"Honey, this was a lovely dinner of sushi, are you sure this isn't too expensive"
"No problem, I'm just going to pay with my pocket vault... and...uh"
"What's wrong?"
"I've got soy sauce on the fingerprint scanner and now it won't authenticate me and give me my credit card!"
"Don't you have cash?"
"I don't use cash because I have the pocket vault! AUUGGGHH THE BATTERY WENT DEAD!"
Re:Warning: Vaporware Company Detected (Score:2, Funny)
I will not buy it, Sam I am.
Off topic and probably wrong. (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Ouch (Score:1, Funny)
Sorry, I forgot where I was for a second.
To quote George Carlin... (Score:3, Funny)
How it will really be used.... (Score:1, Funny)
2.) Shake hands with your rich boss who has a speedpass watch
3.) Smile as your card copies his speedpass
3 1/2.) ?????
4.) Profit
~~ the h0rse has spoken ~~
A Lord Of The Rings Moment (Score:5, Funny)
One Card to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Cameleon Network where the Shadows lie.
Invasion of Privacy! (Score:1, Funny)
Re:potentially inconvenient (Score:2, Funny)
Leeloo Dallas Mul-ti-pass. Mul-ti-pass. (Score:2, Funny)
Korben: Yeah.
Leeloo: Mul-ti-pass.
Korben: Yeah, multipass, she knows it's a multipass. Leeloo Dallas. This is my wife.
Leeloo: Mul-ti-pass.
Korben: We're newlyweds. Just met. You know how it is. We bumped into each other, sparks happen
Leeloo: Mul-ti-pass.
Korben: Yeah, she knows it's a multipass. Anyway, we're in love.
DNA had the right idea.. (Score:1, Funny)
From Mostly Harmless:
It was an Ident-I-Eeze, and was a very naughty and silly thing for Harl to have lying around in his wallet, though it was perfectly understandable. There were so many different way in which you were required to provide absolute proof of your identity these days that life could easily become extremely tiresome just from that factor alone . . . Just look at cash machines for instance. Queues of people standing around waiting to have their fingerprints read, their retinas scanned, bits of skin scraped from the nape of the neck and undergoing instant (or nearly instant -- a good six or seven seconds in tedious reality) genetic analysis, then having to answer trick questions about members of their family they didn't even remember they had and about their recorded preferences for tablecloth colors. And that was just to get a bit of cash for the weekend. If you were trying to raise a loan for a jetcar, sign a missle treaty, or pay an entire restaurant bill, things could get really trying.
Hence the Ident-I-Eeze. This encoded every single piece of information about you, your body and your life into one all-purpose machine-readable card that you could then carry around in your wallet, and it therefore represented technology's greatest triumph to date over both itself and plain common sense.