If Microsoft Built Cars... 642
trystanu writes "If Microsoft Built Cars, occasionally your car would just die on the motorway for no reason; you'd
accept this, restart and drive on -- at least that was the joke a few years ago. ZDNET reports that Microsoft has persuaded a number of carmakers to use its slimmed-down Windows CE operating system to power a variety of in-car electronics, from navigation systems to music players to information devices. BMW, in particular, has gravitated to Microsoft systems, although the company has announced wins with Honda, Volvo and others as well. Perhaps the recent trapping of Thai dignitaries inside a BMW should be a warning to us all."
Hmm... (Score:1, Funny)
If if if (Score:4, Funny)
If Microsoft Built Cars..
An interesting proposition..
If Microsoft Built Cars... [hoppers.com.au]
If Microsoft Built Cars... [tremcopoliceproducts.com]
If Microsoft Built Cars... [carbuyingtips.com]
If Microsoft Built Cars... [tfhrc.gov]
If Microsoft Built Cars... [bbc.co.uk]
If Microsoft Built Cars... [aol.com]
If Microsoft Built Cars... [planetx.org]
If Microsoft Built Cars... [dangerous-walkers.com]
If Microsoft Built Cars... [memphismaulers.com]
Whoa.. stick with QNX [qnx.com], please.
Brings a whole new meaning to "system crash" (Score:2, Funny)
4 words (Score:5, Funny)
Microsoft security (Score:5, Funny)
If Microsoft built cars.. (Score:4, Funny)
heh (Score:3, Funny)
Cardows Update (Score:5, Funny)
If Slashdot made cars... (Score:1, Funny)
have you heard this one? (Score:3, Funny)
And they are proud of it too... (Score:5, Funny)
Microsoft Technology Hits the Road in BMW 7 Series [microsoft.com]:
Re:Microsoft security (Score:1, Funny)
Reminds me of this one... (Score:5, Funny)
"I know", said the Departmental Manager, "Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement, Change Management, Re-Engineering and Service Integration, find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way."
"No, no", said the Hardware Engineer, "That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I've got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip
down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way."
"Well", said the Software Engineer, "Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again."
BSOYFGTTW (Score:5, Funny)
Stop: 0X0000000A (0X00000000, 0X00000002, 0X00000001, 0X80448BF6)
IRQL_NOT_LESS OR EQUAL
Adress 80448BF6 base at 80400000, DateStamp
3d366b8b - brake.exe
Beginning dump of physical facial bones
Microsoft's response: (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Old MS car joke... (Score:5, Funny)
Hey, see that link in the article? That's right, the very first one?
Click it, and it leads to...
..wait for it...
That's right! The same old joke you just reposted! Tell him what he's won, Rod!
He's one a 5-day, 4-night stay in beautiful RTFALand! We'll fly him and a guest non stop to a room where he can sit and actually read the articles before posting ancient jokes we've all seen before that are referenced by the article itself!
Re:Microsoft security (Score:5, Funny)
Microsoft Joke (Score:5, Funny)
The MS guys say, "Whoa! Wait a minute, how are you all going to ride with only one ticket."
"You'll see," they replied.
Everyone boards the train and the MS employees take their seats while all three Apple employees cram into the bathroom. A while later the ticket taker comes down the isles and takes the tickets from the MS employees. He passes the bathroom, notes that it says "Occupied" and softly knocks on the door. "Ticket please," he says. Slowly, the door cracks open, one hand reaches out and hands him a ticket. A few minutes later, the Apple employees emerge from the bathroom and take seats, much to the amazement of the MS employees.
After the conference, on the way back home, the same employees are reboarding the train. The MS people, having deftly learned a new trick, buy just one ticket. The Apple employees then say, we aren't going to buy a ticket this time. MS peoples' jaws drop, but everyone gets on the train.
The MS people quickly cram into the bathroom, and the Apple employees go into a different bathroom. After a couple of minutes, one of the Apple employees comes out of the bathroom, walks up to the door of the bathroom that the MS employees are hiding in, knocks on it, and says:
"Ticket please"
Add outlook e-mail to Windows CE for Car (Score:2, Funny)
Ctrl-Alt-Del to be replaced with (Score:2, Funny)
What happens if you have an automatic???
Two words... (Score:5, Funny)
Isn't it ironic... most cars now have latches to let kids and gangsters out of trunks, yet now you can't get out of the car when its OS freezes? Good grief!
How many times has the Enterprise been saved (or blown up to kill bad guys) through the use of manual overrides? I should be able to get out of my car, even if the battery is drained and the computer is drained. If it's good enough for Jean Luc, it's good enough for me!
Re:Bumps and the BMW 7 series (Score:3, Funny)
I'll be in the area in a few weeks
Re:Microsoft security (Score:5, Funny)
"I wonder which one of these is the 'any' key?"
Blue Windscreen of Death (Score:2, Funny)
Re:There's no reason to trust MS cars, but..... (Score:5, Funny)
What is the difference between final control in Japanese and Yugoslav car factory?
In Japan they put a cat in the car and seal the doors. Tomorrow if the cat is still alive that means that sealing is not good because air managed to get in.
In Yugoslavia we also put a cat in the car but tomorrow we check is the cat still in the car or she managed to escape.
--
No cats were harm during posting this message.
If Linux Users Built Cars... (Score:3, Funny)
Other Drivers? (Score:5, Funny)
Only YOU will be able to drive your car, and if your friends or family want to drive it, they will have to purchase a seperate licence from the manufacturer!
Re:Microsoft's response: (Score:5, Funny)
If we all (linux) built cars. (Score:2, Funny)
Time for a change (Score:2, Funny)
Re:If Linux Users Built Cars... (Score:1, Funny)
And when the Microsoft users asked where the steering wheel was, they'd be told to try installing a rudder pedal / joystick combination instead.
"Really, it's easier. Well, its not, but everyone does it that way. You'll get used to it."
Can I have that car without Windows, please? (Score:5, Funny)
Doing a CISCO on used cars? (Score:2, Funny)
http://www.cisco.com/warp/public/csc/refurb_equipm ent/swlicense.html [cisco.com]
Driving will become much more hazardous... (Score:3, Funny)
At the next car expo: (Score:5, Funny)
uuhh...moving right along...
Bill Gates: So this must be why we're not shipping Windows Car yet.
Absolutely!
Re:If if if (Score:4, Funny)
Mangled quote:
"The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy defines Microsoft as 'a bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes... Curiously enough, an edition of the Encyclopaedia Galactica that had the good fortune to fall through a time warp from a thousand years in the future defined Microsoft as 'a bunch of mindless jerks who were the first against the wall when the revolution came'."
-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
Imagine the possibilities for script kiddies (Score:5, Funny)
People will have their cars recalled 3-4 times a year to apply the latest patch.
You might have viruses that spread from car to car.
There'll be the IloveYou kind of virus, or blaster kind of virus, that will shut down traffic and cause millions of accidents within hours of release to the wild.
There's the jerusalem style of virus that will crash all cars on the planet at a predetermined time.
There'll be backdoors and IRC robots, where the script kiddies in stead of trying to shut down a web site in a DDDOS attack, will instead take control over cars, and use real people as objects in a videogame.
Or more innocent viruses that hijacks a car's stereo, and starts blasting Wang Chung at full volume.
Scary. The scariest part is that this is not crazy science fiction. By all signs, I don't see that any of this is avoidable, given MS current dominance, their awful track record on security, and the extremely weak consumer protection laws.
No... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Trapped OUTside a locked car? (Score:3, Funny)
That would KICK ASS. But with the way we insist on individual transportation in Canada everybody would have to have their own sled+team and we would end up with dogs outnumbering people 10 to 1.
Pets.com was ahead of its time.