Disposable Cell Phones Arrive 434
headGasket writes "After the disposable cameras, here comes the disposable cell phones. Ideal for trash talk. Seriously, there is a $5 incentive to not dispose of it in the trash and bring it back for a rebate on the next one." These seem like a nice alternative to being locked into a lengthy contract, or for people who only need a cell phone for a short period of time.
Wop Hoo! (Score:5, Funny)
FP?
Where's my disposable car (Score:5, Funny)
And how about clothes that last for 1 day so we can keep up with the latest trends.
Or pets that die after a week, for when you want some love around Christmas but don't want an 8-20 year commitment.
21st Century Business Plan (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Where's my disposable car (Score:5, Funny)
Looks like you've never had a goldfish.
Finally, a solution (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Where's my disposable car (Score:2, Funny)
Even crappier cell phones arrive (Score:4, Funny)
"I've been waiting for the shittiest cell phone I could," remarked Janice McFarley of Prescott Hills "the phone Merison sold me wasn't that great, but I was planning to keep the unit even though I could no longer afford the service. With this phone, well, it simply has no value! I'd throw it away without a second thought!".
The new "KrapPhone", with a limited feature set and shoddy quality, is perfect for service providers that are looking to milk customers that have very little money. Robert Slaton of Merison Vireless explained to us that they could make a tidy profit on welfare mothers and the homeless.
"We find that welfare mothers would like a cell phone, but they can't afford the $30 monthly fees. With this totally crappy phone, we can sell them service, make a tidy profit, and the destitute will be able to remain only 3 or 4 payments behind on their rent. Once they default on our charges, they can simply throw away the phone under the guise of it's crappiness.
Re:Where's my disposable car (Score:4, Funny)
You could just drive into the Bronx, like people do today, for the same effect.
And how about clothes that last for 1 day so we can keep up with the latest trends.
Your clothes will only last a day or so, too, in the Bronx, if you stand still long enough
Or pets that die after a week, for when you want some love around Christmas but don't want an 8-20 year commitment.
Just get married
How much easier does it need to be?! (Score:3, Funny)
*beep* <- 911 was just pressed
Operator: "911 emergency, how can I assist you?"
Caller: "*muffle* *muffle* mmmph *muffle*"
Operator: "Sir...er..or madam, are you in trouble? Where can we locate you?"
Caller: "*shuffle* *muffle* mmm *smack* *shuffle* *beep* *muffle* *beep*"
Operator: "Hello?"
Caller: "*beep beep beep beep beep beep...*"
Re:Um.. not a nice alternative.. (Score:2, Funny)
Indeed. You really must wonder about those people who INSIST on having their rights respected and who hold that funny little view that "Innocent until proven guilty" should be honored. Why it's downright SEDITIOUS! Everyone knows that anyone who complains that their privacy has disappeared is just a terrorist whose evil plan has been frustrated by all the attention.
These people really need to looosen their tin foil beanies [paladin-press.com] and GET WITH THE PROGRAM! Everyone knows our overlords at Homeland Security and the DoJ respect the rights they've graciously allowed us to keep.
Perhaps those people should be rounded up and kept somewhere for safekeeping and let us HONEST, PATRIOT ACT COMPLIANT citizens get on with our lives without worrying about such potentially dangerous persons.
*hides his outlawed copy of the old US Constitution under the loose floorboard in the kitchen and looks around warily...*