Step-by-Step Computer Destruction 296
Posted
by
CmdrTaco
from the i've-been-doing-it-wrong-all-these-years dept.
from the i've-been-doing-it-wrong-all-these-years dept.
Unixrevolution writes "Dan's Data has an excellent article on how an enterprising user (or repair tech) can easily destroy their computer. Most of us don't destroy nearly enough hardware, so this should be helpful."
Wellll welll, (Score:3, Funny)
easier way (Score:5, Funny)
Or tell hackers that it is the most secure computer ever.
Start by defraggling your hard disk (Score:5, Funny)
You should only have to do this once
So That's How Its Done (Score:5, Funny)
And here I was using the arc welder.
The Gardener
Steps: (Score:4, Funny)
2. apply to computer
I can do it easier (Score:5, Funny)
Sure, you lose a few lives when the cute little tots start putting forks inside the power supply, but that's the price you pay for progress.
Destruction? In my house it's easy (Score:5, Funny)
Reminds me of... (Score:3, Funny)
Saw this link to the side of the page.... (Score:3, Funny)
http://www.dansdata.com/psycho.htm
Looove it!
I prefer the sledgehammer method, you may however want something more radical, like a shotgun, 9mm, or my personal favorite, use it as a noisemaker and tie it to the back of the couple's wedding limo.
Give it to my bosses son for a weekend! (Score:3, Funny)
Give him a week and you'll need a soldering iron to put it back together.
Re:Destruction? In my house it's easy (Score:5, Funny)
Memories... (Score:5, Funny)
When I was 5 I decided that the floppy drive of our C64 was thirsty and promptly poured a half liter glass of Coca-Cola into it.
Children are a joy.
You can also repair a mouse this way. (Score:3, Funny)
tcd004
My own story... (Score:5, Funny)
I was working on my home computer, had it dissassembled in various parts, was doing some testing. Wife called. Handled phone call. Hung up. Now where was I?
*power up*
*puff of smoke*
Oh, yes. The part where I was supposed to put the heatsink on the cpu.
*cry*
C//
What he missed (Score:3, Funny)
Oh yeah, be sure to clean the CPU and CPU socket with a used toothbrush. Nothing beats the scraping of a used toothbrush to ruin a CPU and CPU socket.
Also make sure that you leave the PCI and ISA cards in partway, don't push down on them just slide them in and then power on the system. Don't even bother putting a screw to hold them in place. Be sure to jerk the case around before you put it back in place.
Also should by some miricle you get the system bootable, always hit Reset or power off before shutting down the OS, so you can kill the hard drive too. Act like the whole computer is your personal game console and just power off right in the middle of running an important program with lots of files open.
Speaking of Destroying Hardware (Score:4, Funny)
A friend of mine had a trident VC that belonged to a friend that had stopped working (The VC had stopped, not the friend) and he also had a trident. He figures the bios is blown, so he pulls his bios out and puts it in this other card. Sure enough, the card works fine now. "Alright, he just needs to order a new bios chip" and he puts it back in his card. Puts the card in his PC, turns it on, and...*BOOM!"
He put the chip in backwards, and it actually exploded. I got hit in the cheek with a chunk of microchip.
Re:Steps: (Score:5, Funny)
Re:CD-Rs (Score:4, Funny)
Good, because a CD-R cannot be erased.
Maybe you're thinking of the more advanced CD-RW media.
Re:Meh (Score:2, Funny)
C'mon, guys! (Score:3, Funny)
And in the "Not kidding" department there are the ads in the Boston subways for some tech certification school that features a woman in a fleece top and a red fleece hat (like Meg on Family Guy) working on a motherboard. Apparently they misunderstood what the "Red Hat" in RHCE stands for, but I'm glad that's not my system she's working on.
Re:Steps: (Score:5, Funny)
This is not as much fun as flamethrower.
Re:destroying an imac with a sledgehammer (video) (Score:3, Funny)
In the US, about a dozen people a year die from incidents that involve dropping/damaging a monitor.
I just found a funny thing, too! (Score:5, Funny)
5 years from now, I will discover Zero Wing. When I do, I will send it to you.
Why Not... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Steps: (Score:3, Funny)
4. Profit!
Re:Meh (Score:4, Funny)
Spill juice on it, and then try to dry it out quickly by turning on the wall heater (similar to a space heater) in your apartment and lean the keyboard up against it. Make sure not to check on it periodically. In about 5 minutes it should be pretty well melted and half of the keys useless.
At least I found a cheap replacement on eBay... heh.
slow agonizing method (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Where have I seen this before? (Score:3, Funny)
Damn you Thom!!! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Destruction? In my house it's easy (Score:3, Funny)
I suppose you're right (Score:4, Funny)
Oh, I wondered why Nero wouldn't erase my CD-R Media :-P
Yes I see your point, maybe I should have written 'recordable CD/DVD orientated media' instead of me using a bastardisation of the CD-R term.
Either way, If you open the microwave and put in your 'recordable CD/DVD orientated media' into the said microwave. Close the door, set to maximum power and set the timer for 5 seconds (based around a 700watt microwave) then turn on microwave. When done, open microwave and the media should be unreadable (even if you couldn't erase your CD-R/RW, DVD/-/+/R/RAM, CD/DVD-ROM or any unmentioned media in Nero or your burning software of choice).
I might have missed some details in my instructions for you, or that incorrect usage of grammar and spelling might have occurred... or that (God forbid) I might have used technical terminology incorrectly. But I hope that I got my point across.
Just in case someone asks, I'm in a half playful, half sarcastic mood at the moment. Hence the tone of my post.
Re:Where have I seen this before? (Score:5, Funny)
Jesus, where'd you get the memory skills to remember something so insignificant from 4,5 years ago? I can barely remember what I did yesterday, let alone what I read on the net 4,5 years ago.
PS,
Nice nickname!
Etherkiller (Score:5, Funny)
I think this would bring down a network quicker than the worst Slashdotting. My favorite is the powered hub, but I think the hard drive killer is nice, too.
Re:Destruction? In my house it's easy (Score:5, Funny)
You managed to meet, and then marry, a woman who reads Slashdot?!
Re:Why Not... (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Destruction? In my house it's easy (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Where have I seen this before? (Score:1, Funny)
This article looks familiar. Perhaps it's because Slashdot linked to it 4 1/2 years ago.
OK apart from cudos for remembering something for more than a day (it seems that there are people who DO learn from history), I just find it interesting (in a sad sense) how the comments seemed to be much more "civilized" 4.5 years ago. Oh how times change...
OK, OK, I know... The death of the net is imminent, film at 11
Anonymous Cowards Unite
(karmatagcollector)
ahhh yes.... back in the old days..... (Score:2, Funny)
Another day... he thought if he plugged the AC adaptor from the Atari 2600 into the headset outlet on the TV it would make it louder... and it did for that nice POP sound you can only get when you fry something... the TV never had sound again through either the built in speakers or headset...
I wont even tell you what he did with AV cables, TV, and a video game console to cause a small fire... to this day I still don't know how he did it.....
He managed to fry the AC adaptor on every printer in the computer lab.. I was very angry as this was the only lab out of 5 that had Apple computers.
oh god!!! and what he did to that Macintosh LC!! That new LC!!! I want to cry.......
Mike!! I will get you one day!!
The Stupid Redneck Way (Score:2, Funny)
Who needs an electric fence to get a shock?
Defenestration and the department of big words (Score:4, Funny)
Nor, in retrospect, was it his last...
He figures any meeting that begins with the words, "Do you realise that i almost SIGNED this??" means he hasn't lost his job (yet)....
Re:Start by defraggling your hard disk (Score:5, Funny)
Microsoft, the leading necromancers of the software industry and ironically the most plagued by Gremlins, have been developing a strategy to ressurect Henson, but have been plagued by failed attempts to add new features. It is hoped that IBM will take up the task of ressurecting Henson in the future, as the gremlin epidemic grows out of control.
Peripheral plugs (Score:2, Funny)
I guess that no one had told her that it's impossible to get D style plugs in upside down, so she just went ahead & did it.
I discovered a good way as well, (Score:2, Funny)
Re:The Stupid Redneck Way (Score:5, Funny)
Make sure you say, "Hey everybody...watch this!" before you do so.
Re:Static discharge rare? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:At school... (Score:3, Funny)
At the Royal Institute of Technology [www.kth.se] (KTH) in Stockholm, Sweden we have Macintosh Tetris, typically performed in the Sing Sing building (yes, it's named after the New York prison), which is similar, but requires more precision and a larger number of machines.
I prefer the "big axe" method (Score:3, Funny)
2) Pick up a large, Dwarven-style double-headed battle axe.
3) Raise axe above head.
4) Cry Havoc, and let slip the dogs of war.
Incidentally, this same method works for shutting down a computer that refuses to do (uninterupptible process etc.
that's quite funny to do, but... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Steps: (Score:4, Funny)
Thanks for putting a condition in the loop.
Some progrmmers have died a painfull death in their own shower:
1) Lather
2) Rinse
3) Repeat
Re:Reminds me of... (Score:2, Funny)
FWIW yes, I recovered all my stuff into a new machine, and promptly burned it all onto CD.
Have I really been reading /. for 4.5 years?? (Score:2, Funny)
My life really would have been just fine without having to see that guy again, but noooooo. Stupid slashdot dupes.
Re:destroying an imac with a sledgehammer (video) (Score:2, Funny)
Desctruction (Score:1, Funny)
During assembly, you will find several useless stand-offs in the motherboard or case packaging. Ignore these and proceed to screw the motherboard directly down against the flat metal of the chassis motherboard tray.
Don't worry - the screws are in the right place and are the correct thread pitch.
Don't worry about the PCI cards being 1/2 inch out of the slot when you assemble the machine - just bend their screw tabs up and they'll fit.
How not to fix a power supply (Score:3, Funny)
There is some kind of irony... (Score:4, Funny)
to the fact that the mac destruction video was in QuickTime
Re:This mentions little meaningful about hard driv (Score:4, Funny)
Sorry, I don't speak the language that it's in, so I can't provide translation, but I think the pictures speak for themselves.
Destroy a PC? Easy! (Score:3, Funny)
D.A.U ("duemmster anzunehmender User") can be roughly translated as "dumbest hypothetical user". Here [dau-alarm.de] is one of my favorites, the D.A.U. of the month for May 2003.
If you speak some German, reading the sarcastic comments is as much fun as looking at the pictures [dau-alarm.de] of fried [dau-alarm.de] equipment [dau-alarm.de].
Re:Steps: (Score:2, Funny)
heavily unionised workforce slowly throttling the life out of their own indsutry.
Death and Destruction! (Score:4, Funny)
That's not the funny part.
Watching us do all of this was a fairly brain-dead janitor. As we were performing hard drive dumps (literally), this guy was rooting around in the carts and extracting the absolute scuzziest stuff he could find. Mice with missing balls, keyboards that were missing rows, that sort of thing. Periodically he would stop us and ask if this would work with his computer at home, and not tell us what kind of computer he had ("it's a old one").
That's still not the funny part.
The funny part is that, while we were listening to the wailing and gnashing of drives, he took us aside confidentially and said, "yuh know, we threw uh cat in thur once. Man, did at thang screeeeem..."
We immediately went to our boss and related the story. We didn't have to haul anymore garbage back to the cafeteria that day.