Step-by-Step Computer Destruction

Unixrevolution writes "Dan's Data has an excellent article on how an enterprising user (or repair tech) can easily destroy their computer. Most of us don't destroy nearly enough hardware, so this should be helpful."

Wellll welll,

[panxerox]

IT's gonna love me when they come in on monday hehehe.

easier way

[I Want GNU!]

Post a link to it from Slashdot.

Or tell hackers that it is the most secure computer ever.

Start by defraggling your hard disk

[millette]

Here are step by steps instructions for that: http://www.datadocktorn.nu/us_frag1.php [datadocktorn.nu]
You should only have to do this once :)

So That's How Its Done

[The Gardener]

And here I was using the arc welder.

The Gardener

Steps:

[TCM]

1. take hammer

2. apply to computer

I can do it easier

[The-Bus]

Spend time destroying a power supply? I just take it to the daycare and let some 3 year olds have at it. They're at it with eating utensils, watering the motherboard, putting peanut butter sandwiches in the disk drives, throwing the sound card -- it akes about 10 minutes for the damn thing to be obliterated.

Sure, you lose a few lives when the cute little tots start putting forks inside the power supply, but that's the price you pay for progress.

Destruction? In my house it's easy

[ralphart]

...I just turn the computer over to my wife...

Reminds me of...

[awx]

...Notlikethis [notlikethis.hole.fi] :D

Saw this link to the side of the page....

[TyrranzzX]

No telling how YOU might be a PSYCHOPATH!!!

http://www.dansdata.com/psycho.htm

Looove it!
I prefer the sledgehammer method, you may however want something more radical, like a shotgun, 9mm, or my personal favorite, use it as a noisemaker and tie it to the back of the couple's wedding limo.

Give it to my bosses son for a weekend!

[Angry White Guy]

Three damned days with a new $3000.00 Dell laptop and it's buggered so bad it won't connect to the Internet.

Give him a week and you'll need a soldering iron to put it back together.

Re:Destruction? In my house it's easy

[ralphart]

...Just kidding, dear!

Memories...

[lateralus]

When I was 5 I decided that the floppy drive of our C64 was thirsty and promptly poured a half liter glass of Coca-Cola into it.

Children are a joy.

You can also repair a mouse this way.

[tcd004]

Just follow these easy step-by-step instructions. [lostbrain.com]

tcd004

My own story...

[Courageous]

I was working on my home computer, had it dissassembled in various parts, was doing some testing. Wife called. Handled phone call. Hung up. Now where was I?

*power up*

*puff of smoke*

Oh, yes. The part where I was supposed to put the heatsink on the cpu.

*cry*

C//

What he missed

[Orion Blastar]

Using an ink pen to remove those SIMM/DIMM memory chips, nothing like breaking off the tip of an inkpen and spilling the ink on the motherboard. Never use anything like a small slotted screwdriver or pliers.

Oh yeah, be sure to clean the CPU and CPU socket with a used toothbrush. Nothing beats the scraping of a used toothbrush to ruin a CPU and CPU socket.

Also make sure that you leave the PCI and ISA cards in partway, don't push down on them just slide them in and then power on the system. Don't even bother putting a screw to hold them in place. Be sure to jerk the case around before you put it back in place.

Also should by some miricle you get the system bootable, always hit Reset or power off before shutting down the OS, so you can kill the hard drive too. Act like the whole computer is your personal game console and just power off right in the middle of running an important program with lots of files open.

Speaking of Destroying Hardware

[canajin56]

A friend of mine had a trident VC that belonged to a friend that had stopped working (The VC had stopped, not the friend) and he also had a trident. He figures the bios is blown, so he pulls his bios out and puts it in this other card. Sure enough, the card works fine now. "Alright, he just needs to order a new bios chip" and he puts it back in his card. Puts the card in his PC, turns it on, and...*BOOM!"

He put the chip in backwards, and it actually exploded. I got hit in the cheek with a chunk of microchip.

Re:Steps:

[K_J_Raine]

You forgot step three: 3. Repeat as necessary

Re:CD-Rs

[Minna Kirai]

I find the best way to get rid of data on CD-R's isn't to erase it

Good, because a CD-R cannot be erased.
Maybe you're thinking of the more advanced CD-RW media.

Re:Meh

[JanneM]

Spill coffee in it, repeatedly, over a period of five years. :(

C'mon, guys!

[Otter]

Not only is this an ancient, ancient dupe but no one has linked to Datadocktor'n's great tutorials on how to defraggle your motherdisc [datadocktorn.nu] (with steel wool) and upgrade your graphics card [datadocktorn.nu], again with steel wool.

And in the "Not kidding" department there are the ads in the Boston subways for some tech certification school that features a woman in a fleece top and a red fleece hat (like Meg on Family Guy) working on a motherboard. Apparently they misunderstood what the "Red Hat" in RHCE stands for, but I'm glad that's not my system she's working on.

Re:Steps:

[MuParadigm]

This is not as much fun as flamethrower.

Re:destroying an imac with a sledgehammer (video)

[geekoid]

you smashed an iMac with a sledgehammer? you are aware there is phospherous in the tube, right? and that people die from it, right?

In the US, about a dozen people a year die from incidents that involve dropping/damaging a monitor.

I just found a funny thing, too!

[Bob Cat - NYMPHS]

It's got these dancing hamsters on it. It's really funny. I'm going to mail it to everyone I know. I bet they never saw it before, since it's new to me. I'm so glad I got this interweb thing last week.

5 years from now, I will discover Zero Wing. When I do, I will send it to you.

Why Not...

[evilmuffins]

If they wanted to destroy some computers, why not just put windows on, and then install Bonzi Buddy?

Re:Steps:

[Glyndwr]

3.???
4. Profit!

Re:Meh

[realdpk]

Do like I did...

Spill juice on it, and then try to dry it out quickly by turning on the wall heater (similar to a space heater) in your apartment and lean the keyboard up against it. Make sure not to check on it periodically. In about 5 minutes it should be pretty well melted and half of the keys useless.

At least I found a cheap replacement on eBay... heh.

slow agonizing method

[Mabelyne]

Purchase a litre of Muriatic Acid, take the cap off, set it beside running computer. It's a very slow and agonizing death!

Re:Where have I seen this before?

[boredMDer]

4.5 years ago? What are you, kidding? Dupes are posted here that were posted in the same day, and you expect them to remember 4.5 years ago?

Damn you Thom!!!

[JamesTRexx]

[computers] are totally defenseless, all we need are more people with hammers. -Thom Yorke (Radiohead) [computers] are totally defenseless, all we need are more sysadmins with guns. -me (to defend the servers of course ;-))

Re:Destruction? In my house it's easy

[jmbauer]

I told my husband back when we were engaged that he wasn't going to get a domestic goddess. But I have turned into 24/7 tech support ...

I suppose you're right

[T-Kir]

Oh, I wondered why Nero wouldn't erase my CD-R Media :-P

Yes I see your point, maybe I should have written 'recordable CD/DVD orientated media' instead of me using a bastardisation of the CD-R term.

Either way, If you open the microwave and put in your 'recordable CD/DVD orientated media' into the said microwave. Close the door, set to maximum power and set the timer for 5 seconds (based around a 700watt microwave) then turn on microwave. When done, open microwave and the media should be unreadable (even if you couldn't erase your CD-R/RW, DVD/-/+/R/RAM, CD/DVD-ROM or any unmentioned media in Nero or your burning software of choice).

I might have missed some details in my instructions for you, or that incorrect usage of grammar and spelling might have occurred... or that (God forbid) I might have used technical terminology incorrectly. But I hope that I got my point across.

Just in case someone asks, I'm in a half playful, half sarcastic mood at the moment. Hence the tone of my post.

Re:Where have I seen this before?

[Dark Lord Seth]

Jesus, where'd you get the memory skills to remember something so insignificant from 4,5 years ago? I can barely remember what I did yesterday, let alone what I read on the net 4,5 years ago.

PS,
Nice nickname!

Etherkiller

[mraymer]

http://www.fiftythree.org/etherkiller/ [fiftythree.org]

I think this would bring down a network quicker than the worst Slashdotting. My favorite is the powered hub, but I think the hard drive killer is nice, too.

Re:Destruction? In my house it's easy

[s.d.]

...Just kidding, dear!

You managed to meet, and then marry, a woman who reads Slashdot?!

Re:Why Not...

[Diotallevi]

dont forget installing aol, gator, dialers from various (ahem) web pages, spyware, instant msgr's etc

Re:Destruction? In my house it's easy

[Apiakun]

Which begs the question: was she the only one?

Re:Where have I seen this before?

[Anonymous Coward]

This article looks familiar. Perhaps it's because Slashdot linked to it 4 1/2 years ago.

OK apart from cudos for remembering something for more than a day (it seems that there are people who DO learn from history), I just find it interesting (in a sad sense) how the comments seemed to be much more "civilized" 4.5 years ago. Oh how times change...

OK, OK, I know... The death of the net is imminent, film at 11

Anonymous Cowards Unite

(karmatagcollector)

ahhh yes.... back in the old days.....

[AlbertSiegel]

A friend had a great idea while I was out of the room for a moment. He decided he could make the Atari 800 computer work faster and better by moving around the ROM boards.... the computer never worked again...

Another day... he thought if he plugged the AC adaptor from the Atari 2600 into the headset outlet on the TV it would make it louder... and it did for that nice POP sound you can only get when you fry something... the TV never had sound again through either the built in speakers or headset...

I wont even tell you what he did with AV cables, TV, and a video game console to cause a small fire... to this day I still don't know how he did it.....

He managed to fry the AC adaptor on every printer in the computer lab.. I was very angry as this was the only lab out of 5 that had Apple computers.

oh god!!! and what he did to that Macintosh LC!! That new LC!!! I want to cry.......

Mike!! I will get you one day!!

The Stupid Redneck Way

[gothicpoet]

Unzip and let loose a yellow stream into the ventillation on the back.

Who needs an electric fence to get a shock?

Defenestration and the department of big words

[SolemnDragon]

My brother, bless his wicked little heart, works for a university. And one of his first things to do on the job was to fill out the paperwork regarding how they were going to get rid of the old computers, to be included in the req (that's requisition) forms for the new equipment. (Wreck forms, that's where we're heading with this.) He wrote down that they intended to weed out the old computers through a strategic defenestration program. It almost got signed! At the last possible moment, the page was sent to the department of large words and syllables (also know as, "Hey! you work for the English department, don't you?? GEt in here! What does this mean??") The UNfunny part was him almost getting his first written warning on his first week at the job. The FUNNY part, well... it's not the first time that he's had to go to his union rep and say, er- you don't understand, we're not trying to get me out of this one. I really did this!

Nor, in retrospect, was it his last...

He figures any meeting that begins with the words, "Do you realise that i almost SIGNED this??" means he hasn't lost his job (yet)....

Re:Start by defraggling your hard disk

[BrynM]

Since Jim Henson's death, the fraggles have reverted to their natural form, known as Gremlins. Henson's work in domesticating these beasts and making them successful actors was frowned upon by many animal rights groups, but came as a blessing to many engineers. Though foul play has been disproven, many engineers and aircraft designers still suspect that Henson was killed by an unnamed frog hired by animal rights activists.

Microsoft, the leading necromancers of the software industry and ironically the most plagued by Gremlins, have been developing a strategy to ressurect Henson, but have been plagued by failed attempts to add new features. It is hoped that IBM will take up the task of ressurecting Henson in the future, as the gremlin epidemic grows out of control.

Peripheral plugs

[Tychoma]

One of our users managed to plug her monitor back in the wrong way round.

I guess that no one had told her that it's impossible to get D style plugs in upside down, so she just went ahead & did it.

I discovered a good way as well,

[KillaMarcilla]

One good way to permanently disable your motherboard is to screw it down onto the case directly, without any risers. Not only does this put a significant amount of stress on the motherboard, but it shorts out every piece of metal on the back of it *shakes head and sighs*

Re:The Stupid Redneck Way

[ncc74656]

Unzip and let loose a yellow stream into the ventillation on the back.

Make sure you say, "Hey everybody...watch this!" before you do so.

Re:Static discharge rare?

[Alien Being]

Bah. Mosfrn elecfonics a,e all made with spe*&cial circuits to protec(R)t aga(C)inst high levels of ESD. I have a Van dYer Graaaf generator sitting 8 inches away from the expo(C)sed mo&#1(C)56;bo in my pc.

Re:At school...

[ae]

At the Royal Institute of Technology [www.kth.se] (KTH) in Stockholm, Sweden we have Macintosh Tetris, typically performed in the Sing Sing building (yes, it's named after the New York prison), which is similar, but requires more precision and a larger number of machines.

I prefer the "big axe" method

[MacGod]

1) Stand prependicularily in front computer with feet shoulder length apart. If you are right-handed, your left shoulder should be towards the computer and vice versa.

2) Pick up a large, Dwarven-style double-headed battle axe.

3) Raise axe above head.

4) Cry Havoc, and let slip the dogs of war.

Incidentally, this same method works for shutting down a computer that refuses to do (uninterupptible process etc.

that's quite funny to do, but...

[stardome]

when i don't have that much spare time, i just end up installing windows. it's usually faster.

Re:Steps:

[zulux]

You forgot step three: 3. Repeat as necessary

Thanks for putting a condition in the loop.

Some progrmmers have died a painfull death in their own shower:

1) Lather
2) Rinse
3) Repeat

Re:Reminds me of...

[inode_buddha]

my best-ever. A mouthful of beer and a sudden sneeze into an opened-up and running 486 deskdop was all it took to destroy my old RH 5.2 box.

FWIW yes, I recovered all my stuff into a new machine, and promptly burned it all onto CD.

Have I really been reading /. for 4.5 years??

[lightistoobright]

I vaguely remembered the article, but what really jogged my memory is that creepy guy over in the righthand margin.

My life really would have been just fine without having to see that guy again, but noooooo. Stupid slashdot dupes.

Re:destroying an imac with a sledgehammer (video)

[Anonymous Coward]

You do realise that violence against an iMac is tantamount to gay-bashing, don't you?

Desctruction

[Anonymous Coward]

He forgot my favorite:

During assembly, you will find several useless stand-offs in the motherboard or case packaging. Ignore these and proceed to screw the motherboard directly down against the flat metal of the chassis motherboard tray.

Don't worry - the screws are in the right place and are the correct thread pitch.

Don't worry about the PCI cards being 1/2 inch out of the slot when you assemble the machine - just bend their screw tabs up and they'll fit.

How not to fix a power supply

[paul248]

Once, I was working on a computer that seemed to have a dead power supply. I opened it up and noticed that a fuse on it was blown. So, I took a staple, and soldered it on top of the fuse to see if it would bring it back to life. When I plugged it in, the thing started shooting flames (or sparks or something) a few feet into the air, and making strange noises. Luckily, I unplugged it before anything bad happened. I learned that day that when a fuse blows in a power supply, it probably happened for a good reason.

There is some kind of irony...

[MadAnthony02]

to the fact that the mac destruction video was in QuickTime

Re:This mentions little meaningful about hard driv

[Slack3r78]

Ahhh that's amateur stuff. For the true connoisseur in hard drive destruction, we have this. [telia.com]

Sorry, I don't speak the language that it's in, so I can't provide translation, but I think the pictures speak for themselves. :)

Destroy a PC? Easy!

[frozenray]

Just give it to one of the guys who owned the equipment depicted in these [dau-alarm.de] galleries!

D.A.U ("duemmster anzunehmender User") can be roughly translated as "dumbest hypothetical user". Here [dau-alarm.de] is one of my favorites, the D.A.U. of the month for May 2003.

If you speak some German, reading the sarcastic comments is as much fun as looking at the pictures [dau-alarm.de] of fried [dau-alarm.de] equipment [dau-alarm.de].

Re:Steps:

[child_of_mercy]

australian trains are slow and sad.

heavily unionised workforce slowly throttling the life out of their own indsutry.

Death and Destruction!

[shadowcabbit]

When I worked as an intern for my university's IT department, one of the last tasks they had me do one year was to haul a room full of old Pentium 1 machines, monitors, et al across the street to the cafeteria, where an industrial trash compactor was waiting to receive them. I was assigned this task alongside one of the first-year interns. We loaded our carts up with the machines and happily heaved machine upon machine into the beast. We were especially impressed with the various popping noises and flashes of light coming from within the compactor.

That's not the funny part.

Watching us do all of this was a fairly brain-dead janitor. As we were performing hard drive dumps (literally), this guy was rooting around in the carts and extracting the absolute scuzziest stuff he could find. Mice with missing balls, keyboards that were missing rows, that sort of thing. Periodically he would stop us and ask if this would work with his computer at home, and not tell us what kind of computer he had ("it's a old one").

That's still not the funny part.

The funny part is that, while we were listening to the wailing and gnashing of drives, he took us aside confidentially and said, "yuh know, we threw uh cat in thur once. Man, did at thang screeeeem..."

We immediately went to our boss and related the story. We didn't have to haul anymore garbage back to the cafeteria that day.