Palm Reveals New Name

Palm Reveals New Name 306

Posted by Hemos on Monday August 18, 2003 @09:56AM from the how-bloody-unexciting dept.

dmehus writes "Milpitas, Calif. based Palm Inc. announced Sunday afternoon the new name and moniker for its handheld hardware business. After almost two years in the planning and focus group stages, the company's Board of Directors and executives decided on PalmOne. PalmOne's ticker symbol will change from the current PALM to PLMO. Sister company PalmSource, which will be the operating system business, takes ticker symbol PSRC. According this report by CNET News.com's Ina Fried, the two companies will be publicly traded, but they will also be controlled by a new holding company. In addition, the Spring 2004 line of handhelds will adopt the PalmOne moniker. Devices that run the Palm OS can continue to say "Palm powered." The new ticker symbols and corporate name changes will take affect some time in late September or early October, once the Palm buyout of rival HandSpring is complete."

Palm Reveals New Name

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What about... (Score:5, Funny)

by swordboy ( 472941 ) writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @09:57AM (#6722051) Journal

They didn't even make it fully buzzword compliant. There's no '.' in there or 'e' anywhere... What about 'flex' or 'i'?

what's in a name (Score:3, Funny)

by chrisspurgeon ( 514765 ) writes: <chris@spurg e o n world.com> on Monday August 18, 2003 @09:57AM (#6722053) Homepage

Geez, two years to decide to change your name from Palm to PalmOne. I am soooo in the wrong business.

Is it just me... (Score:5, Funny)

by geeber ( 520231 ) writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:01AM (#6722071)

Or is the name "PalmOne" almost an invitation to steal the thing?

The sad part is... (Score:5, Funny)

by Capt_Troy ( 60831 ) writes: <{tfandango} {at} {yahoo.com}> on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:01AM (#6722073) Homepage Journal

they probably actually paid a marketing company a million bucks to come up with that lame-ass name!

Hell, I would have thought one up for 50 bucks. here's a freebie:

"Shaznasta"

T.

Stupid ? (Score:3, Funny)

by KingRamsis ( 595828 ) writes: <kingramsis&gmail,com> on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:04AM (#6722087)

PHB types throwing away the natural sexy name "Palm" and instead using "PalmOne"...
GOD and it took them two freakin years ?????

Insert mandatory Dilbert joke below my sig.

Well (Score:2, Funny)

by LittleBigLui ( 304739 ) writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:06AM (#6722098) Homepage Journal

there IS an "e" at the end of "one". You know, they have an e-backend in their nu.Name.

Probably to help send more spam (Score:1, Funny)

by Sabalon ( 1684 ) writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:06AM (#6722099)

I had a palm, and when I got rid of it I tried to get off all the palm mailing lists. I still got spam after spam no matter how many times I logged in to change my profile "if I no longer wanted the e-mails."

I guess that too many people have blocked *.palm.com so they need something new to spam from.

No...I'm not bitter :)

I guess they figured hey... (Score:4, Funny)

by OfficerNoGun ( 686128 ) writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:06AM (#6722100)

...it worked so well for Real. I mean, realOne is just such brilliant, usefull software. Hopefully they don't add the bloat, that what makes them nicer the windows mobile devices (for business purposes). Because I swear to god if my palm starts beeping and buzzing, and I pull the thing out of my pocket so it can tell me "whats cool for August" I'll smash the thing to little pieces.

Palm now run by 1337 h4xx0rz. (Score:2, Funny)

by ahector ( 656079 ) writes: <`ten.1051' `ta' `ydna'> on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:07AM (#6722106) Homepage

pa1mOne?! Are you kidding me?

May I suggest TCFKAP? (Score:3, Funny)

by heironymouscoward ( 683461 ) writes: <heironymouscoward@yah3.14oo.com minus pi> on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:07AM (#6722109) Journal

After the famous musician who was formerly known as Prince, and who was retagged "his formerliness" by a well-known music magazine...

The Company Formerly Known as Palm has also decided upon an unpronouncable glyph as their name. But it makes much sense, since in any case they will soon become a division of Sony and their name will be recast in Hirigana.

ParmOS, I saruta you!

Quick Change The Name! (Score:5, Funny)

by ellem ( 147712 ) * writes: <{moc.liamg} {ta} {25melle}> on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:08AM (#6722114) Homepage Journal

PHB::According to Johnson's report I see we have market share and brand name recognition. What's our plan?

JOHNSON::Do nothing sir.

PHB::Do nothing? You idiot Johnson YOU'RE FIRED! Cravenstone what do you have?

CRAVENSTONE::Let's change our name sir.

PHB::Excel-lent....

Re:I don't know about you (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:09AM (#6722132)

After merging with Handspring, they could have called their devices 'Palmsprings'.

Re:What is it with ONE? (Score:1, Funny)

by borgdows ( 599861 ) writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:11AM (#6722144)

because it's better less lame than using the word .NET

Aww Damn! (Score:5, Funny)

by NoData ( 9132 ) writes: <_NoData_@yahoo. c o m> on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:13AM (#6722164)

Well, there's goes my bet on what the new Handspring, Palm merged company would be called:

"PalmSprings" of course!

Sure, you laugh now, but their new office digs woulda been SWEET.

How fucking pathetic... (Score:2, Funny)

by avalys ( 221114 ) writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:13AM (#6722165)

Two years to come up with that!?
What's the difference? Do they think people are going to buy more of their crappy, outdated and unimaginative products because they stuck a "One" at the end of their moniker? I doubt their daydreams are going to come true:

Husband: "Edna, look here at this here Palm pee-da thingy. I should get one of those."

Wife: "I don't know Clarence, it looks like those Sony and Microsoft ones over there have more features."

Husband: "Maybe you're right. I don't want a second-rate product."

Salesman: "Actually, they just changed their name to PalmOne."

Husband: "Well shit! That settles it. Give me twenty!"

Everyone misunderstands the branding change (Score:5, Funny)

by Feathers McGraw ( 180980 ) writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:17AM (#6722198)

Everyone's reading PalmOne like it was pronounced Palm-WON, but it's really pronounced Pahl-MOH-nay, which clearly is designed to appeal to the modern, hip Euro-style elite. Ooh, la la.

This is great! (Score:5, Funny)

by nizo ( 81281 ) writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:21AM (#6722232) Homepage Journal

PalmOne's ticker symbol will change from the current PALM to PLMO.
Dibbs on the PALM stock symbol so I can unload millions of shares of my fly-by-night IPO on the uneducated masses!

Re:What is it with ONE? (Score:5, Funny)

by jalefkowit ( 101585 ) writes: <jason@jaso3.14nlefkowitz.com minus pi> on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:23AM (#6722241) Homepage

They're predicting how many employees they'll have left in three years :-)

FuckedCompany.com (Score:3, Funny)

by mumblestheclown ( 569987 ) writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:24AM (#6722249)

this article reads like a parody from FuckedCompany.com, or 1999, or something.
PalmOne and PalmSource?
Why not just HyperGlobalMegaMart?
Did they take out a super bowl ad too?
Pardon me while I go PalmOne.

Quote from article (Score:5, Funny)

by Zog The Undeniable ( 632031 ) writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:25AM (#6722259)

Part of the difficulty facing the company stemmed from the use of the name "Palm" for more than one thing
I have the same problem. Gypsies always give me strange looks when I take a tropical plant into the caravan to have my fortune told, and I've been waiting for my hand to produce coconuts for 34 years now.

What the press release really said: (Score:4, Funny)

by MightyTribble ( 126109 ) writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:27AM (#6722280)

OUR BRAND PROMIES IS SO WAL UNDERS2D BY DA MARK3TPLAEC TAHT DA CONCEPT OF ONE IN OUR NU NME WAS IMEDIAETLY COMPELNG11!!11!! WTF LOL ONE IS A POW3RFUL ADITION 2 TEH INSTANT BRAND R3COGNITION AND IEDNTITY OF DA PALM TEH1!!!1 WTF RED/ORANGE COMBINATION IS A BOLD D3PARTURE FROM TEH BLU3 TAHT PALM HAS USAD FOR MANY YEARS AND BUILDS ON OUR NU SUBRANDS AN3RGY ANTHUSIASM POWER AND INOVATION COM3 ACROS MUCH STRONGAR IN OUR NU COMBINATION

OUR!1!1!1!! NU NME ALSO SIGNALS A NU BGINNG AT PALM1!!1!!!! OMG WTF BUILDNG ON OUR MOMENTUM IN TEH HANDH3LD COMPUTNG SPAEC WORLDWIED AND COMPLEMANTNG IT WIT TEH AXPACTAD INT3GRATION OF DA AWARD-WINNG TR3O LIEN OF SMARTPHONES FROM HANDSPRNG WIL GIEV PALMONE TEH BROAEDST PORTFOLIO OF HANDHELD COMPUTARS AND SMARTPHON3 PRODUCTS LAD BY DA MOST AXPAREINC3D TEM IN DA INDUSTRY 11!!1 WTF LOL

(I didn't write this - I got it from a Palm message board. Still funny, though.)

The REAL reason... (Score:4, Funny)

by jazman ( 9111 ) writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:28AM (#6722287)

Of course the real reason for the change of name to PalmSource is that they've discovered 80 lines or so of C code in PalmOS that matches code in the heart of the Linux kernel, no, the edges, no, the utilities, and they've decided to take a leaf out of SCO's book and sue IBM, no, Linus, no, everyone who even mentions Linux to try to prop up a dwindling market share.

Quick everyone, buy Palm shares cos they're about to shoot through the roof!

Let the joking begin... (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:28AM (#6722289)

Evidently coming in close second was the name HairyPalm. Yuk Yuk Yuk

In an attempt to increase my stock with my wife... (Score:4, Funny)

by gatkinso ( 15975 ) writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:30AM (#6722309)

...I have decieded to rename myself GeoffreyOne.

Better alternatives (Score:3, Funny)

by TrebleJunkie ( 208060 ) writes: <ezahurakNO@SPAMatlanticbb.net> on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:36AM (#6722347) Homepage Journal

Darn, I thought maybe they'd go with RedPalm.

Or, because of the buyback/out/up of Handspring, call it PalmSprings. That'd be cool.

corporate circle jerk (Score:3, Funny)

by smoon ( 16873 ) writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:41AM (#6722380) Homepage

enhancing shareholder value by paying consultants to piss on you.

Re:The sad part is... (Score:5, Funny)

by PunchMonkey ( 261983 ) writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:45AM (#6722407) Homepage

Hell, I would have thought one up for 50 bucks. here's a freebie:

"Shaznasta"

That's sweet man! You should do marketing for open source projects, I think. Here's the first guys that need help: Xouvert [xouvert.org]. ;-)

Name wouldn't fly (Score:4, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:51AM (#6722454)

You would definitely be struck down by National Beverage Corp. on that one since "Shaznasta" is clearly just a feshizzle nizzling of their Shasta brand name.

Glad to see.... (Score:5, Funny)

by jayrtfm ( 148260 ) writes: <jslash@sophontCOFFEE.com minus caffeine> on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:54AM (#6722479) Homepage Journal

Glad to see that the marketing group who came up with "New Coke" finally got another client.

Re:palminfocenter has more... (Score:5, Funny)

by The Fun Guy ( 21791 ) writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @10:55AM (#6722488) Homepage Journal

When you click on the link the parent poster provides, the first thing you see is this:

"Welcome Slashdot visitor! You have been redirected to a ligher version of our article in order to conserve bandwidth and keep the site running smoothly for everybody."

Clearly they are doing their best to avoid being Slashdotted, while not shutting out the Slashdotters completely. As intelligent and reasonable as this is, it still strikes me as amusing.

"Welcome Mongol horde visitor! You have been redirected to a ligher version of Rome in order to conserve food and water and keep the city running smoothly for everybody."

"Welcome O Pioneer! You have been redirected to a ligher version of Ohio/Illinois/Missouri/Kansas in order to conserve land rights and keep the state running smoothly for everybody."

Re:What is it with ONE? (Score:3, Funny)

by Cryp2Nite ( 67224 ) writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @11:16AM (#6722640)

It's the same focus group over and over and over and over... again.

I'd appreciate it if you could drop me an e-mail if you're willing fill-in for me some time. The pay is pretty good but it's getting tedious, I could use some time away from the responsibility....

On the bright side... (Score:2, Funny)

by CatOne ( 655161 ) writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @11:17AM (#6722650)

They're taking example from Sun who is so good at branding that it virtually guarantees people understand what you're talking about.

Except instead of naming an umbrella of 100 unrelated products under the One brand, they're renaming the entire company!

Sheer genius. Let's see if Geoffrey Moore can write a book on this phenomenon.

Re:Well (Score:5, Funny)

by killthiskid ( 197397 ) writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @11:20AM (#6722685) Homepage Journal

It's a good thing they didn't just take one year to come up with that name or else it might have sucked!

Wow (Score:2, Funny)

by PiGuy ( 531424 ) writes: <squirrelNO@SPAMwpi.edu> on Monday August 18, 2003 @11:21AM (#6722695) Homepage

Good thing they didn't skimp and only take one year to come up with it; it might have sucked.

(w/ apologies to Scott Adams)

Very dumb (Score:5, Funny)

by gilesjuk ( 604902 ) writes: <giles@jones.zen@co@uk> on Monday August 18, 2003 @11:49AM (#6722921)

You can use the phrase "they're trying to PalmOne off on us" now.

Re:What about... (Score:4, Funny)

by Andrewkov ( 140579 ) writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @11:49AM (#6722924)

They didn't even make it fully buzzword compliant. There's no '.' in there or 'e' anywhere... What about 'flex' or 'i'?
And no Extreme or Xtreme in the name .. I no longer buy products without Extreme in the name. Even my deoderant is Extreme.

Re:What about... (Score:3, Funny)

by apchar ( 226653 ) writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @11:52AM (#6722949)

Paint em green and call em PalmOlive.

Re:BeOS? (Score:2, Funny)

by wcb4 ( 75520 ) writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @12:13PM (#6723129)

Did you say B1?

BINGO!!!!

been waiting for that for about 5 balls now

Re:What about... (Score:3, Funny)

by Ralph Wiggam ( 22354 ) * writes: on Monday August 18, 2003 @04:58PM (#6726246) Homepage

I bought Xtreme Jello this week. It's just like old Jello but in Xtreme new flavors like "Wild Berry". It tastes suspiciously like they mixed the left overs of thier other berry flavors together.

There may be more comments in this discussion. Without JavaScript enabled, you might want to turn on Classic Discussion System in your preferences instead.

What about... (Score:5, Funny)

what's in a name (Score:3, Funny)

Is it just me... (Score:5, Funny)

The sad part is... (Score:5, Funny)

Stupid ? (Score:3, Funny)

Well (Score:2, Funny)

Probably to help send more spam (Score:1, Funny)

I guess they figured hey... (Score:4, Funny)

Palm now run by 1337 h4xx0rz. (Score:2, Funny)

May I suggest TCFKAP? (Score:3, Funny)

Quick Change The Name! (Score:5, Funny)

Re:I don't know about you (Score:1, Funny)

Re:What is it with ONE? (Score:1, Funny)

Aww Damn! (Score:5, Funny)

How fucking pathetic... (Score:2, Funny)

Everyone misunderstands the branding change (Score:5, Funny)

This is great! (Score:5, Funny)

Re:What is it with ONE? (Score:5, Funny)

FuckedCompany.com (Score:3, Funny)

Quote from article (Score:5, Funny)

What the press release really said: (Score:4, Funny)

The REAL reason... (Score:4, Funny)

Let the joking begin... (Score:1, Funny)

In an attempt to increase my stock with my wife... (Score:4, Funny)

Better alternatives (Score:3, Funny)

corporate circle jerk (Score:3, Funny)

Re:The sad part is... (Score:5, Funny)

Name wouldn't fly (Score:4, Funny)

Glad to see.... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:palminfocenter has more... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:What is it with ONE? (Score:3, Funny)

On the bright side... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Well (Score:5, Funny)

Wow (Score:2, Funny)

Very dumb (Score:5, Funny)

Re:What about... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:What about... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:BeOS? (Score:2, Funny)

Re:What about... (Score:3, Funny)

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