Ink More Expensive Than Champagne

laing writes "According to this story, ink for home printers is now seven times more expensive than vintage champagne.Ink in a typical replacement cartridge costs about £1.70 per millilitre, compared with 1985 Dom Perignon at 23p per millilitre." Explains why I get daily spam about toner, but none at all for booze!

Reassignment of terms.

[Ignorant Aardvark]

Ink costs more than champagne? What?! That's not the natural order of things. To correct this problem, the French must immediately start drinking printer ink and printing with champagne. That should kill a few problems with one stone (sorry for the mixed metaphor). To clear up the resulting confusion we will call printer ink "Freedom Champagne" and champagne, "printer ink 2: full-speed".

And the buzz is better

[Lane.exe]

Plus, the rad high you get from sipping ink completely blows away that bubbly kind of drunk you get when you pound the Christobal.

On the other hand...

[Raindance]

People are taking this so negatively; just revel in the fact that champaign is so cheap!

Re:Reassignment of terms.

[Uart]

what will really blow your mind is when you realize that gasoline is cheaper than bottled water...

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[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Bootlegging

[retto]

Does this mean people are going to start bootlegging ink? Will the great crime families ditch the drug trade for the undergound ink market? I fear the day our great cities are brought under the heel of the ink barons.

Ink

[nother_nix_hacker]

I tend to find the 86' Lexmark ink has a fruity taste which can be complimeted only by a good mature cheese and a decent toner cartrige.

lucky drunks

[abe_is_fun]

Even though ink is more expensive than fine champagne, and therefore is better than fine champagne (proof by induction), you shouldn't drink it.

It would stain your teeth some ugly color like #006666, and you would never get a date and you would die cold and alone, a pitiful 30 year old virgin.

Instead, drink beer -- it's been helping ugly people get laid for over 200 years!

Other shocking comparisons..

[L. VeGas]

Pound for pound...

Poodles cost more than horses!

Crack whores cost more than fatties!

Eardrums cost more than eyeballs!

Get Smart

[Shadow Wrought]

Chief: This desk runs entirely on ink.

Max: But chief, that's incredible. Do you realize what this could mean to our energy supply?

Chief: Unfortunately its an extremely rare type of ink that can only be found in the Middle East.

Yes I'm paraphrasing, but that's the first thing that came to mind;-)

Newsflash: Apples and Oranges vary in price!

[NotQuiteReal]

Is this one of those tests?

Champagne is to printer ink as:

a) Automobiles are to shoes.
b) Doorknobs are to bedpans.
c) Beach sand is to integrated circuits.

The answer is c because integrated circuits are computer related and this is slashdot...

Re:Quick!

[SharpFang]

Imagine a beowulf cluster of drunken soviet cartritges that refill YOU!!!

But How Much is Inside

[the_pooh_experience]

Well according to this [cockeyed.com], ink costs about the same as Chanel No. 5 Eau Du Parfum, but when was the last time you tried to print porn with parfume or champagne?

Re:Off topic but interesting point about ink.

[Mononoke]

This post reminds me of when the Mayo Clinic informed me that they make their own ink to keep costs down...

Ok, I know where they would get large quantities of red and yellow, but where do they get the other two colors?

Re:But How Much is Inside

[the_pooh_experience]

abd oh yeah... the cartrige purchaced was $32, and the 146 pages of porn were printed and for $41. It seems to me after all is said and done, the cartrige costs about -$0.21 a mililitter. [cockeyed.com]

My New Businessplan

[sherpajohn]

1. Develope color printing technology that is cheaper than ink-jet.
2. Make scads of money
3. Buy one of the really prestigious Champagne "Houses" - they are so funny...they do not call them estates, but houses!
4. Hire the best chef in France to make lots of Hot Grits
5. Invite Natalie Portman over
6. Enjoy 3 course meal of Fine Champagne, hot grits and Natalie
7. Print out pictures of #6 on cheap color printer
8. Sell copies of pictures
9 Profit!!!!!

Re:Slashdot is too UK-centric

[dinog]

USD $2.84

Thanks to : http://www.xe.com/ucc/

So a bottle of Lexmark ink would cost USD 2132.00. Unfortunately, it doesn't taste nearly as good, and goes rather poorly with lobster. The initial bouquet is bad, the nose just aweful, and the horrid taste sticks to you tongue like, well, ink.

Dean G.

Re:Ink

[nick_davison]

Personally, I prefer fava beans and a nice Epson. Thththththththth.

Sounds like "General's Hospital"...

[Equuleus42]

This whole champagne and ink thing reminds me of one of the weirder stories in the fortune files:

The General disliked trying to explain the highly technical inner workings of the U.S. Air Force.

"$7,662 for a ten cup coffee maker, General?" the Senator asked.

In his head he ran through his standard explanations. "It's not so," he thought. "It's a deterrent." Soon he came up with, "It's computerized, Senator. Tiny computer chips make coffee that's smooth and full-bodied. Try a cup."

The Senator did. "Pfffttt! Tastes like jet fuel!"

"It's not so," the General thought. "It's a deterrent."

Then he remembered something. "We bought a lot of untested computer chips," the General answered. "They got into everything. Just a little mix-up. Nothing serious."

Then he remembered something else. It was at the site of the mysterious B-1 crash. A strange smell in the fuel lines. It smelled like coffee. Smooth and full bodied...

-- Another Episode of General's Hospital

Worms more expensive than steak!

[Anonymous Coward]

That's nothing. You should see the cost of worms. This week, 250 grams of mail-order worms cost me 4UKP (say $6). So much for the urban legends about worms going into McBurgers. I bet they just use cheap filler ingredients instead, like ground up cow.

Re:Reassignment of terms.

[Anonymous Coward]

what will really blow your mind is when you realize that gasoline is cheaper than bottled water...

This is why I laugh every time one of those nutcases claims to have invented a car that will run on pure water.

Re:You don't get any for booze because...

[dasmegabyte]

Which is why we need a bureau of Printer Ink, Natural Viagra Supplements, Genital Enlargement, Nigerian Banks and Obscure Domain Name Registrars.

Re:Slashdot is too UK-centric

[mickwd]

"Unfortunately, it doesn't taste nearly as good, and goes rather poorly with lobster."

Since it's ink, perhaps it would go rather better with squid ?

Yeah, but...

[Red Rocket]

...I bet it can't touch Bull Semen [sekgenetics.com].

Re:Ink

[hobbesx]

I tend to find the 86' Lexmark ink has a fruity taste which can be complimeted only by a good mature cheese and a decent toner cartrige.

Hmmm- could anyone recommend a delicate Champagne to accent my vintage Canon bubbly-jet?

Re:Price of bottling

[suwain_2]

Mmmmm. Nothing like a good bottle of gasoline. ;)

What the hell have I been doing?

[Bill, Shooter of Bul]

I need to stop printing and start drinking. Its "cheaper". Yeah honney. I was thinking about printing out the manual for your new stairmaster, but I wanted to save money so I drank a case of cris and then put it together.

Re:Slashdot is too UK-centric

[mdielmann]

Unfortunately, it doesn't taste nearly as good, and goes rather poorly with lobster.

Well, yes, when you use the blue ink. If you try the red ink, I'm sure you'll be much happier.

Re:Other shocking comparisons..

[pmz]

Crack whores cost more than fatties!

You can get a better value by requesting the Assistant Crack Whore-in-Training. They haven't mastered the trade, yet, but they get the job done.

Re:Reassignment of terms.

[conway]

Tap water in SoCal tastes horrible and leaves mineral deposits in my pans.

How many times do I have to tell you: humans consume liquid with the top orifice, not the bottom one. Do try to be more careful, or we might be noticed!

Re:Reassignment of terms.

[Enraged_jawa]

"Evian" spelled backwards is "Naive" .. the French knew all along

Re:Reassignment of terms.

[OECD]

My old hp c400 inkjet (really slow and ugly) had print cartridges with refill holes built into them.

But my champagne bottles never did! You couldn't even put the corks back in the darned thing! I'll bet you that's where they got the idea from!

Re:Hardcore dupe action

[dark-br]

New /. slogan: "News that mattered. Stuff for the amnesiac." ;)

Re:P & £

[Jeremy Erwin]

Simple. Recall that there 252 pennies to the guinea. A half guinea is worth 10 and six, or about 11/20 of a pound. 5 newpence (p) are equal to 12 pennies (d). It's all frighteningly easy, once you get the hang of it.

Bottled Water

[Anonymous Coward]

Bottled Water more expensive than Gasoline! crazy.

Re:Ink is too expensive

[Maserati]

Agreed. I really need to lock up my "ready use" stocks at the office. They've saved me some weekend trips to the office, but we also had to pay for a printer repair+part due to msyterious circumstances:

Part of the paper feed system of an HP5000 (good printers, ask me about 79.00FE errors from OS X clients) managed to disappear; without this part of the guide, it will jam on every single sheet. To get at this part you have to remove the toner cartridge, lift up another part, and take out two screws. This piece vanished. I was watching the repair when the tach found it, and two days later I watched him put the new one in.

Two weeks later... Yep, the printer is jamming again. I watch the tech take it apart. That same damned piece is missing again.

It just has to be users.

Re:Reassignment of terms.

[deadsaijinx*]

once a bottle of water became more expensive than beer, I quit drinking water. Shortly there after I was rushed to the hospital after I collapsed of dehydration and alcohol poisoning. The moral of the story, cheap boozed is not your friend

Bizarre

[CausticWindow]

Have you ever tried drinking ink?

It tastes shit, and got no bubbles.

What is the point of this story? If I want to drink expensive and good bubbly, I drink Cristal!

Ink tasting

[Anonymous Coward]

Hmm. *swishswish* *sip* *dribble*

This ink is an India vintage...2002 I think. It has an excellently robust color and a nice stain. The spread is characteristic of a 3% solution. The smell contains just a hint of petroleum. Yes, I am certain this is Epson Black, catalog number 734-T4.

*polite applause*

Re:Reassignment of terms.

[outsider007]

it's harder to acquire a taste for ink than for champagne, but once you do...
you are one classy motherfucker.

Re:Reassignment of terms.

[damien_kane]

humans consume liquid with the top orifice, not the bottom one.

However, much of the time they speak out of the bottom one...
Today, you can lead the revolution! Speak out of your top orifice for once...

Dr. Strangelove

[benjamindees]

"Mandrake, have you ever heard of a thing called fluoridation? Fluoridation of water?"

"Do you know what it is? Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot that we have ever had to face?"

Ink piracy

[Decimal Dave]

These high prices are just a result of rampant piracy in the ink industry. College students are especially guilty of downloading ink from Kazaa and sharing it with their friends.

Re:Reassignment of terms.

[Enry]

It's sad really. Public places have been removing chilled water fountains and replacing them with either warm water fountains or selling bottled water (that's cold).

At home, I buy a 24-pk of bottles for cheap, then refill them from my filtered tap. Refil 5-10 times until the bottle gets crusty.

Re:Other shocking comparisons..

[Have Blue]

Yeah but you get much better image quality when you use poodles.

makes me glad...

[agendi]

that I don't drink printer ink really.

I wonder when I'll be able to order it in resturant.

me: I'd like a flute of printer ink thank you.
waiter: Would that be red, yellow, blue or black?
me: Make it blue - oh and none of that refiller ink crap!

6 years from now at McDonalds. "Would you like printer ink with that?"

I guess it's a good thing

[cyclist1200]

that your printer doesn't require a magnum of ink!

Re:Reassignment of terms.

[dcmeserve]

Historically homo-sapiens always had the need to carry around something. Whether it was a rock, a spear, sword, etc;...

[Ooog walks into cave]

Bogg: Hi, Ooog! I see you have your rock with you.

Ooog: Yeah, I know, it's kinda heavy, but, well, you know, ya gotta carry something...

Bogg: Oh, I know! Believe me!

[Bogg picks up his rock]

Bogg: I've had this sucker for 3 days now. It really fills the void left when I threw my last rock into the river...

Ooog: What'd you do that for, anyways?

Bogg: Oh, well, you know, gotta throw something...

Ooog: Oh yeah, I hear ya!

Boog: Hey, can you believe they're charging three squirrels for a good rock nowadays?

Ooog: Oh, man, that sucks! That's even more than a good clay pot -- those are 2 squirrels, maybe 2 and a half max!

Bogg: Yeah, man, why are there so many idiots who would pay so much just for a rock?!

Ooog: Well, ya know, gotta carry something...

Bogg: Oh, yeah, I hear ya!

Cupertino

[cscx]

Tastes like apples?

Re:Ink is too expensive

[Anonymous Coward]

BTW, has anyone been brave enough to do a color resume, yet?

No, man... Fuck no- I do believe you would get your ass kicked for that.

Re:Reassignment of terms.

[dbrutus]

I always get a chuckle out of the Aquafina bottle with it's little squiggle logo evocative of mountains. In reality, it's distilled/bottled in Munster, IN, a very flat place that is a few miles away from Lake Michigan.

And yes, it's a Pepsi product.

sex

[sewagemaster]

yea, ...but there's still no sex in the champagne room

Re:Reassignment of terms.

[Anonymous Coward]

That's no surprise... anything is cheaper than bottled water.