Random Movement Printing Technology

mszeto writes "For all those gadget lovers out there, here is a neat one. It's the worlds smallest printer[ed. note: no it isn't], and is Bluetooth enabled. Rub it over the page to print! Here are some more articles about it:"

Re:Michael, You Don't Know Shit...

[whereiswaldo]

<a href="link to smallest printer goes here">no it isn't</a>

Wouldn't have been too hard.

SPIKE TV

[bugsmalli]

man, StripperElla gets everything before we do. Did you check out the way she scanned the documents in yesterday's show (for the uninformed, she had a tongue scanner). I wish she'd scan me...

I know where she's gonna put this printer ;)

I still have my doubts...

[Anonymous Coward]

I bet I could still manage a paper jam.

cool idea

[Anonymous Coward]

Just take one of those mini RC cars, add an ink jet and a blue tooth interface and you could have a printer the size of matchbook.

It would be slow, but you could just set a piece of paper on a flat surface and have your laptop/pda "drive" the printer over the paper squirting out ink where needed.

Plus. if you needed a faster printer, imagine a beow... never mind

Next: the infinite distance printer!

[fireboy1919]

The principle of generating small amounts of finite printing by simply hooking the logic circuits of a Bambleweeny 57 Sub-Meson Brain to an atomic vector plotter suspended in a strong Brownian Motion producer (say a nice hot cup of tea) is now well understood - and such generators are probably going to be used to break the ice at parties by printing embarassing messages on the hostess's dress, in accordance with the Theory of Indeterminacy.
Many respectable physicists said that they aren't going to stand for this - partly because it is a debasement of science, but mostly because they don't get invited to those sort of parties.
Another thing they won't stand is the perpetual failure they encountered in trying to construct a machine which could generate the infinite distance printer needed to print mind-paralysing distances between the furthest stars, and in the end they will probably announced that such a machine is virtually impossible.

No more waiting for tickets!

[frs_rbl]

Wow! I just can't wait to see this policeman writing my parking ticket in seconds! Talk about getting them by mail!!

but... wait

now he can print the ticket IN my car! Amazing

No it isn't?

[netsharc]

Well, why isn't it? is it a hoax, does it really print or is the Tomshardware review gonna tell us how much of a bitch it is to use but you're not mentioning it, Mr. "ed"?

Until then I'll just ignore ed's comment, and say, this will probably be the next thing after Palm Pilots that will be added to standard management's attire.. but how fucking annoying, now they'll put every little thing in print.. I can just imagine it.. PHB scribbles something with graffiti, taps the screen a few times to get Bluetooth working, oh wait, turn on the printer to get its Bluetooth in listening mode (hopefully it still has enough ink), alright, tap "Transfer Data", and then rubs the printer over a piece of paper to produce a note to remind you about the TPS reports, meanwhile the Post-It pad and pen gather dust in his drawers.

Re:Well fuck

[Moofie]

Why let prior art stop you? Doesn't seem to bother any of the technology patent obstructionists, and your idea is much cooler than most of theirs.

: )

Re:World's smallest? I'd argue that....

[Acts of Attrition]

I've been using an item smaller than this printer to reproduce pictures on paper for years. I like to call it the Pen(TM). I'm looking on getting a patent on the technology. It can also use random movement technology to create the wonderful Squiggle(TM) effect.

You are all wrong

[frs_rbl]

The real breakthrough with this printer is not that it's the smallest around:

its the first unjammable printer!

Re:How it knows where the printhead is...

[jpmkm]

Well, mine does a pretty good job of tracking velocity and position changes as long as it's touching my mouse pad.

What the fuck kind of mouse doesn't do that?

It'll at least spice up the bathroom...

[stienman]

Imagine, now, instead of the scratchy scrawl you write on the bathroom walls now, you can not only print the number but also a picture of your roommate's girlfriend.

Admit it - you were always jealous he usually had one. Could be because he didn't go into computers...

-Adam

Re:I still have my doubts...

[FearUncertaintyDoubt]

I bet I could still manage a paper jam.

PC Load Letter! What the fuck is that?!

Tip for the marketing department...

[taped2thedesk]

I can see the biggest market for this: kids...

"

Conventional "kick me" signs can be removed and even stuck to someone other than your intended target... but with the world's smallest printer*, you can permanently etch "KICK ME" on to any article of clothing, or even your victim's skin! It's so quiet your victim will never notice, and it prints at the lightning-fast speed of 60,000 cm^3/s!"

*Warning: may not actually be the world's smallest printer.

Whipped Cream and Other Delights.

[teamhasnoi]

Combine this with a pda bacode scanner and you can print new barcodes at Walmart on the fly. Scan the crap model, put a blank label on the nice one,(still not illegal??) then print your new barcode. (ILLEGAL)

Good way to pick up chicks - wave your hand with the printer concealed in it over a bar napkin and hand her your magically appearing phone number and a dirty limerick (ok, no limerick)

Label everything you own - roomies will no longer be able to claim the beer/CD/toliet paper wasn't yours.

Print up fake parking tickets for random cars.

This would rock for labeling CDRs - I might actually do it with this thing.

Add mystery "ingredients" to grocery store items. "What the hell is lead sucrose doing in these hot dogs?"

Graffiti made easy! Free Mumia, Impeach Bush, Repeal the 1st Amendment - easy as a wave of your hand! No incriminating paint can or marker!

Print barcodes on unsuspecting foreheads - "Hold on, I think there's a bee in your hair..." - Just for fun. For now......

Add inappropriate menu items at your favorite resturant. "Baby Seal and Carrots?!! WAITER!!!"

Fake classifieds - "Dude, what's this about you selling the state's largest used children's undies collection? Your name, phone number and everything!!"

Hide small notes on the bathroom walls in strategic places - "If you can read this, you're poopin'"

Quick name tags for people - don't worry, it'll wash off! Frankly, this thing is cool and sounds like fun - it may even be useful for labeling things, or handing out info. Of course, it will probably be priced too high for most people who would actually use it. It will probably be good for manufacturing, labeling parts and other irregular things.

Just remember, you read it on K5.

Re:We admit it is mostly vapor at the moment...

[transient]

These guys are still pulling back the foreskin of technology.

Thanks for that, you fucking weirdo.

A small problem...

[mattypants]

...it'll leak in your pocket, making it just as messy as a pen.

Re:What's really be cool...

[darkov]

Yeah, it would be cool until you discovered you had tattooed "Attempt to dereference a null pointer at 0x0F6F75E4" on yourself.

Am I the only one

[thynk]

who read RMPT as RTFM at first glance? Only I guess with this, PTFM might fit better.

bluetooth deodorant

[g0at]

...the first RMPT based printer products...

Armpit based printer products? :O

[ed. note: no it isnt]

[stratjakt]

Yes it is! You are WRONG michael.

This IS the worlds smallest printer.

Because I say so.

Re:What's really be cool...

[AtariDatacenter]

No. That'd be pretty damn cool, actually!

Have One

[Anonymous Coward]

I already have a Small Random Thingummybob
Printer.

I move it over a paper & letters appear on the
paper.

It's called a PEN

Re:less / fewer

[1u3hr]

More choice quotes:

• Traditional printers has some sort of paper-feeding mechanism
• Beem over the document to your printer

English isn't their native language, but Swedes usually speak better English than most Americans (certainly better than our esteemed editors)...

Re:How it knows where the printhead is...

[Pig Hogger]

Well, mine does a pretty good job of tracking velocity and position changes as long as it's touching my mouse pad.

What the fuck kind of mouse doesn't do that?

A broken mouse?

more likely

[SHEENmaster]

Such a device would be controlled by a robot arm, a la Starshit Troopers.

If the robot runs Windows, which is very popular in tattoo parlers, then you are more likely to get a 300 page raw postscript dump. If you are put under for the tattoo, or pass out from the pain, you will awake to have postscript covering your entire body.

At first this sounds bad, but you could sue M$ for enough money to buy the UNIX code and GPL it.

(Sorry if this turned into a rant, the printer at work dumped hundreds of pages of postscript onto expensive paper under the direction of a Windows XP system. My Debian iBook came to the rescue and reprinted it correctly.)

Anyways, postscript is cooler than a null pointer exception, especially if it's a poscript http server [pugo.org].

Wile E. Coyote?

[Nicodemus]

So does this work like the paint buckets in old cartoons, where you can paint a whole picture with the swipe of a single brush?

/me quickly paints a picture of a tunnel on a blank wall.

=)

Nicodemuis

Re:It's a mouse that prints. Okay.

[Tablizer]

"Wait! That is not a mou.........never mind. too late."

Re:If its not the smallest

[stixman]

then wheres the proof? That editors note is rather convenient, but it doesnt prove anything [note: yes it does] , which is easily done by providing a link or two to sources of smaller devices.

Just kidding. Google doesn't know for sure what the world's smallest printer is, but here [citizen.co.uk], here [helper-monkey.net], here [howard.co.kr] and here [mobilemag.com] are a couple possibilities. Really convincing is the line "World's smallest printer IN THE WORLD!"

Hope I've helped.

Re:What's really be cool...

[teklob]

Imagine getting ahold of a tatoo gun that could imprint images permanently on someones face and finding your friend passed out drunk...

Re:What's really be cool...

[JeremyALogan]

I can see it now... some random Windows exploit allows a script kiddie to hax0r it so instead of the cool "Tux" logo (we're all nerds here, right???) you get "Property of Frank" tattooed right on your ass.

Re:What's really be cool...

[angry old man]

Forget about the tattoo gun idea....

I'm going to use it to counterfeit postage stamps!!!!!
Thanks to Hewlett-Packards' economical cartidges & paper, then I should be able to print $0.37 postage stamps for about $0.36 each... and make BIG BUCKS!!