GPS Wristwatch for Kids

1010011010 writes "A company called 'Wherify Wireless' has created a $400 watch with a built-in pager, GPS unit and wireless data connectivity. It's targeted at families with kids. According to their website, 'Wherify's GPS Personal Locator helps keep loved ones safe by combining Wherify's patented technology with the U.S. Department of Defense's multi-billion dollar Global Positioning System (GPS) satellites plus the largest 100% digital, nationwide PCS wireless network.' It includes a pager, clock, two-button '911' calling (parent can disable this), and remote-control keyfob (to lock and unlock it) for the parents. It is apparently water- and kid-resistant, and can be locked onto the wrist so that it cannot be removed (easily). $400 plus $35 a month... that's a lot more money than those stretchy wrist-leashes I see at the mall." There are so many things wrong with this that I don't even know where to begin.

kidresistant??

[radja]

waterresistant I can believe.. now kid resistant.. THAT I gotta see..

//rdj

hey, get the little slackers . . .

[gteague]

> " ... and can be locked onto the wrist so that it cannot be removed ..."

. . . used to the cuffs early, i say. the police state isn't going away any time soon.

/guy

But the real question is...

[erobertstad]

How much for a girlfriend model? Forget the kids, I wanna know where my wife is 24/7, reading her e-mail just isn't enough! :)

It's Nine o'Clock

[borat]

Do your kids know where they are?

Excellent

[Captain Large Face]

I'm always losing my watch, so this would be fantastic.. All I need now is one for my keys.

How about TCP/IP?

[kars]

# ping johnny
PING 12.21.87.193 (12.21.87.193) from 12.21.87.194 : 56(84) bytes of data.
From 12.21.87.194: Destination Host Unreachable
From 12.21.87.194: Destination Host Unreachable
From 12.21.87.194: Destination Host Unreachable

Uh oh..

It's 10pm...

[sillydragon]

beep! It's 10pm, do you know where your children are?

Yes, with 1m resolution..

I want one

[km00re]

I think they will come in handy when trying to find one's self. This may cut down on those pesky time-consuming journeys of self discovery.

I'm currently out trying to find myself. If I should get back before I return, please keep me here.

Re:helps keep loved ones safe?

[Gibbys Box of Trix]

I have a fantastic cinemtic car chase running in my head now where the perps chuck a kid out of the getaway car to stop the cops following them...

Please!

[nmnilsson]

Don't tell my girlfriend!!
My leash is short enough as it is... :-)

Re:kidresistant??

[garethwi]

Apparently, the next version will be kid resistant to 100 metres.

Re:What is Wrong?

[NOT-2-QUICK]

"I never got kidnapped and thrown into a trunk without an internal release."

So, are you saying that you did get kidnapped, but that when you were thrown into the trunk it did have an internal release??? Just trying to clarify here....

Perhaps you were never kidnapped, but you were thrown into a trunk...ahhhh...and that trunk did have an internal release...

Any clarification that you could provide on this state would be greatly appreciated!!! :-)

/. needs to grow up

[yzquxnet]

Quickly browsing through the messages you can easily see two different two different classes of people. Those with children and those without. The one side needs to seriously think about growing up and facing reality. Why is it that there is a different missing kid on the side of the milk carton every day? Because that is how many kids disapear. You can cry all you want about how it will ruin some kids life because his/her parents will always know where they are. Last time I checked, that's what parents were suppose to do. I can't even begin to count the number of times having nosey parents kept me from doing something stupid or going someplace I shouldn't. As for little kids, they are going to do it anyways, so at least now you have to option to locate them if a sweep through the park doesn't find them.

Grow up slashdotters, a lot of you sound like you should be wearing one of these right now.

This is all a conspiracy...

[nixkuroi]

Bill Keane, the writer/artist of Family Circus simply wants all of our children to wear these watches so that he can hack in, use a specially modified tracking program that follows the path of your children with a dotted line and then use that dotted line in his next "what did Billy do on his way home from school" strip. Boycott this device...the pseudo-hilarity must end.

Re:To be fair...

[Anonymous Coward]

Am I alone in thinking that "a pair of fucking bolt cutters" isn't exactly high technology?

Proposed technical enhancements to this device

[Anonymous Coward]

Since parental control is a very good idea, I'd like to suggest the following technical enhancements:

- Automated real-time monitoring for presence of controlled substances in bloodstream. Avoid the work of having to snip hair samples and send them off for analysis after the fact!

- Embedded microphone to transmit nearby sounds. Say your teenage daughter says she is going to a church youth group meeting, and then is really heading off to a drug-soaked rave. Find out quick!

- Embedded audio output device to permit insertion of parental comments remotely. Say your daughter's sleezy boyfriend is trying to proposition her. You can immediately warn him "get your paws off my daughter or I will personally beat the crap out of you".

- A "filter list" of the GPS coordinates of forbidden locations, with a tie in to a pain inducing wrist mechanism. Train that wayward 16 year old never to visit that sleezy boyfriend's place again! As with Web filters, companies can sell you lists of the latest forbidden locations. Keep you kids away from known satanic haunts!

- Image recognition technology, to instantly detect the presence of a nearby pitbull and repel the pitbull by playing Patti Smith songs (it is a known scientific fact that pit bulls can't stand Patti Smith)

This may sound draconial and even ridiculous, but nothing is too far fetched to protect even one child from these horrific fates! And if you disagree with this, every parent whose child was attacked by a pitbull will show up at your doorstep and personally beat the crap out of you!

I can't unlock my kid

[Anonymous Coward]

Now they need to make the thing SNMP enabled..

KIDJACK- Used by the police, to locate your snotty-nosed kid in under 4 days.. Get your kid back with "KIDJACK!"

Re:How about TCP/IP?

[AndroidCat]

I don't know if ping would be that interesting, but traceroute would be kind of funky!

"Billy, you know were supposed to come straight home from school, but the logs show that you were playing by the creek again." "Aww MOM!"

Re: Teen resistant

[zTTTz]

I'd like to see it also monitor and transmit the pulse rate of my teen-aged daughter. It's already on the wrist so it's an easy modification. And if she is baby sitting and her pulse rate goes through the roof (presumably because the make-out session has started), I can quickly arrive with my low-tech boy-friend removal device (read: shotgun). Much like the chastity belt from Scary Movie!