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Robot Identifies Human Flesh As Bacon
Posted by
Zonk
on Thu Nov 09, 2006 06:53 PM
from the tastes-like-chicken-or-so-i've-heard dept.
from the tastes-like-chicken-or-so-i've-heard dept.
Jearil writes "Wired's 'Table of Malcontents' blog links to an article about a wine-tasting robot that thinks humans taste like bacon. The Japanese robot is intended to act as a personal sommelier, suggesting wines, cheeses, and hors d'oeuvres based on its owners personal tastes. It also apparently thinks humans would be tasty as part of a sandwich." From the article: "Let the robot holocaust commence: robots think we taste like bacon ... Upon being given a sample, he will speak up in a childlike voice and identify what he has just been fed. The idea is that wineries can tell if a wine is authentic without even opening the bottle, amongst other more obscure uses ... like 'tell me what this strange grayish lump at the back of my freezer is/was.' But when some smart aleck reporter placed his hand in the robot's omnivorous clanking jaw, he was identified as bacon. A cameraman then tried and was identified as prosciutto." This is most distressing.
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yummy (Score:5, Funny)
The robot is right (Score:5, Funny)
Soo... (Score:5, Funny)
Distressing? (Score:5, Funny)
No it's not. It's brilliant. The only thing putting me off cannabalism was a concern I might not like the taste. Best news ever!
I for one (Score:4, Funny)
I thought (Score:5, Funny)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
The entire "babys taste like chiken" and such are actualy rather off.
We are RED meat, and thus would taste like beef or pig).
If anything babies would taste like veal.
News? (Score:2)
http://www.collisiondetection.net/mt/archives/200
Our only hope (Score:3, Funny)
"Tastes like chicken..." (Score:2)
The robot got it right. (Score:5, Interesting)
If there are no Polynesian cannibals in your area, ask a soldier or fireman what burning human flesh smells like.
We smell like pork when we're well-done. The robot got it absolutely right. And I, for one, would like to remind the robot that I'm absolutely delicious when served with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
Change of recipe (Score:3, Funny)
Forget the Skynet funding bill ... (Score:5, Funny)
Okay.. (Score:5, Insightful)
I used to theorize that human flesh probably contains more of the same nutrients we need than any other food out there, so I had guessed in the past that in theory it would be pretty tasty.
Obligatory Homer quote (Score:4, Funny)
One thing is certain... (Score:5, Funny)
That poor man. (Score:5, Funny)
Long Pig (Score:5, Informative)
Where are the Soylent Green Jokes?
Where are the Soylent Green Jokes? (Score:3, Informative)
Fine, because robots dislike bacon. (Score:5, Funny)
you missed the part right after (Score:2)
Good wine (Score:5, Funny)
Phew.
Not mentioned... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Not mentioned... (Score:5, Funny)
Parent
I've never really like bacon (Score:2)
Re:Distressing? (Score:5, Informative)
BACON!@!!!@!!! (Score:5, Funny)
No pig for me (Score:5, Interesting)
obligatory animal farm quote (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:yummy (Score:2)
Then Hannibal was wrong (Score:5, Funny)
Aztecs Can Confirm! (Score:5, Interesting)
The robot probably isn't far off...
The Aztecs had a long legacy of cannibalism as part of their religious ceremonies. It was considered (I assume by those not experiencing it) an honor to be killed and eaten as a token to their god(s).
After the Spanish came and forcefully converted the native American survivors to Roman Catholocism, the Aztecs adopted the stigma attached to cannibalism. However, they couldn't get enough of that porcine protein brought over from Europe. When asked about their focused consumption of pigs, the former people eaters replied with a simple answer: pigs taste like you and me.
Humans and Swine Not Dissimilar (Score:5, Insightful)
Humans and pigs are actually fairly close anatomically, which is why high school students dissect pig fetuses every year and why pigs are a promising species in the field of Xenotransplantation [wikipedia.org]. And it's really not distressing at all, after you get over the ick factor. We're not made of magical fairy dust
Um, bacon is the polite way of putting it (Score:2)
ah (Score:2)
Don't take it lying down! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Don't take it lying down! (Score:5, Funny)
Parent
Stand back! I gotta practice my stabbin'! HA HAAAA (Score:2)
Well at least we don't taste like Spam (Score:2)
smells like it (Score:5, Interesting)
humans, the other pork (Score:4, Insightful)
Re:I thought (Score:5, Funny)
The mailman, probably...
Thank you, I'll be here all this week!
Distressing? (Score:4, Insightful)
I'm not at all concerned about getting eaten by Asimo or TMX Elmo.
If the Matrix , the Terminator, and Futurama have taught me anything, is that robots would be more likely to farm me, shoot me, or steal from me first.
I'd be more worried about getting eaten by *you*, should the robo-apocalypse ever come to pass...
The obvious way to save ourselves: (Score:5, Funny)
What the Robot Really Said Was... (Score:3, Funny)
So many jokes.... (Score:4, Insightful)
The obvious question is whether the people in question had just touched a pork product....
The Other Other White Meat (Score:3, Funny)
See how polarized we've become on the race card?
So I guess we'll just have to play into it.
Humans: The Black, White, Red and Yellow Meat, Taste the Rainbow Next to Your Potatoes
There, I hope you're all happy.
Hannibal had no class. (Score:3, Insightful)
Re:Don't take it lying down! (Score:5, Funny)
Irony.