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Wormbot Crawls Through Your Intestines

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on Tue Jun 06, 2006 06:27 PM
from the quite-a-case-of-the-runs dept.

holy_calamity writes "NewScientist is reporting on a new robot modeled on a worm to crawl through your intestines made by European researchers. The plan is to replace endoscopes, but from the look of the videos these things are too scary to ever be allowed into hospitals."

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obligatory (Score:5, Funny)

by CrazyJim1 (809850) on Tuesday June 06 2006, @06:29PM (#15483999) Journal

What, you have a bug up your ass or what?
- Re:obligatory (Score:3, Funny)
  
  by DurendalMac (736637)
  
  They're going to realize before long that this is a real shitty worm...
  - Re:obligatory (Score:2)
    
    by cptgrudge (177113)
    
    Maybe you get to keep the worm. You know...your shit, your problem.
- Re:obligatory (Score:2)
  
  by Tackhead (54550)
  
  > What, you have a bug up your ass or what?
  "Yeah. About those dad-gum bloggers that got me fired. Well, Ms. Couric, we'll just see who's colon really deserves the anchor chair!"
  - Dan Rather
- Good News Everyone ! (Score:3, Funny)
  
  by rednip (186217) *
  
  ...It's a suppository!
intestine crawling robots. (Score:4, Funny)

by ATAMAH (578546) on Tuesday June 06 2006, @06:31PM (#15484001)

So, who is going to be the first one to welcome our new intestine-crawling robotic overlords? Oh wait...
- Re:intestine crawling robots. (Score:3, Funny)
  
  by joe 155 (937621)
  
  I don't know about overlords, but could you imagine a beowulf cluster of these things
- Re:intestine crawling robots. (Score:3, Insightful)
  
  by atomic-penguin (100835)
  
  So, who is going to be the first one to welcome our new intestine-crawling robotic overlords? Oh wait...
  
  One of the Goatse trolls of course.
Doctor: (Score:5, Funny)

by w33t (978574) on Tuesday June 06 2006, @06:31PM (#15484003) Homepage

Hmm, we'll need to have a look inside you with this worm. [patient opens his mouth] Guess again.
--
Music should be free [w33t.com]
- Re:Doctor: (Score:3, Funny)
  
  by the_humeister (922869)
  
  Kind of like how if the doctor puts both hands on your shoulders when doing a digital rectal exam...
can't wait (Score:2, Funny)

by uberjoe (726765)

Well sign me up!
It gets worse (Score:5, Funny)

by Chocolate Teapot (639869) * on Tuesday June 06 2006, @06:32PM (#15484009) Journal

If the thought of a robot crawling up your ass scares you, wait till you see the battery [niagarac.on.ca]!
- - Re:It gets worse (Score:3, Funny)
    
    by Kadin2048 (468275)
    
    Sure, but you have to have it tattooed on your left ass cheek.
    
    User-agent: worm Disallow: *
Reminds Me Of The "Woodchuck" Rhyme (Score:4, Funny)

by pandrijeczko (588093) on Tuesday June 06 2006, @06:32PM (#15484013)

"Up who's bot would a wormbot climb if a wormbot could climb bots."
- Re:Reminds Me Of The "Woodchuck" Rhyme (Score:2)
  
  by ResidntGeek (772730)
  
  Don't you mean whose butt?
Uuuh... (Score:5, Insightful)

by mctk (840035) on Tuesday June 06 2006, @06:33PM (#15484015) Homepage

"these things are too scary to ever be allowed into hospitals."
Never had a colonoscopy, eh?
Why a robot? (Score:2, Insightful)

by Anonymous Crowhead (577505)

Drug mules routinely swallow roundish ballons that pass naturally through. Why not something transparent with cameras in it? Why risk getting stuck or ripping you a new asshole, so to speak.
- Look, maybe you kids should read the article... (Score:5, Informative)
  
  by searleb (168974) * on Tuesday June 06 2006, @06:39PM (#15484052) Homepage
  
  Quoted from the text:
  
  Doctors currently explore the gut using endoscopes, which have to be fed through the body, or "camera pills" that must be swallowed by a patient.
  
  A pill capable of wriggling through the gut on its own could be a valuable tool, says Andrew Gardner, an independent medical imaging expert at University College London.
  
  "Capsules can show you places nothing else can, but you can't stop or slow down when you get to a point of interest," he told New Scientist.
  
  Parent
  - from having read the article (Score:3, Funny)
    
    by WillAffleckUW (858324)
    
    My first question is, what if it breaks down?
    
    Since it's in the gut, it would hopefully pass, but what if it shorted out?
    
    Doctor: Nurse, time to get the bug out!
    
    Nurse: Um, Doctor, did you remember to insert a new battery?
    
    Doctor: No, why?
    
    Nurse: Well, this might take a bit longer than we were expecting. It's not moving.
Easy test subject (Score:5, Funny)

by SnotBob (970745) on Tuesday June 06 2006, @06:37PM (#15484039)

They need to test it on the goatse guy first. If it gets stuck the doc can reach right in and get it back out.
- Re:Easy test subject (Score:3)
  
  by crotherm (160925)
  
  arrrggg
  
  -1 WRONG!
Meanwhile, Japanese Scientists... (Score:2, Funny)

by Mr. Flibble (12943)

Meanwhile, Japanese Scientists take this technology and invent the Hentai bot...

*ducks*
"Jesus, you mean that thing's real?" (Score:5, Funny)

by jthill (303417) on Tuesday June 06 2006, @06:41PM (#15484064)

"Try to relax."
- Re:"Jesus, you mean that thing's real?" (Score:2)
  
  by 0racle (667029)
  
  Yes having seen the picture I have one thing to say.
  
  "OVER MY DEAD BODY."
- Bedside Manner. (Score:3, Funny)
  
  by twitter (104583)
  
  We can hope your doctor has better bedside manner than Agent Smith [imsdb.com]:
  You are going to help us, Mr. Anderson, whether you want to or not.
  
  Smith nods and the other two rip open his shirt.
  
  From a case taken out of his suit coat, Smith removes a long, fiber-optic wire tap.
  
  Neo struggles helplessly as Smith dangles the wire over his exposed abdomen. Horrified, he watches as the electronic device animates, become an organic creature that resembles a hybrid of an insect and a fluke worm.
  
  Thin, whisker-like te
Yuck! (Score:4, Funny)

by FS (10110) * on Tuesday June 06 2006, @06:42PM (#15484066)

How do they know my intestines were made by European researchers? Sounds like some pretty nasty data-mining to me.
So Mr. Worm (Score:2, Insightful)

by losethisurl (980326)

What'll you do when the power goes out?
- Re:So Mr. Worm (Score:2)
  
  by GroeFaZ (850443)
  
  Well, there's always the string-based retrieval method...
- Re:So Mr. Worm (Score:2)
  
  by drinkypoo (153816)
  
  Hahaha how is this insightful? Don't you have a UPS? I bet they do too.
  - - Re:So Mr. Worm (Score:2)
      
      by drinkypoo (153816)
      
      If it's on battery you just think about reserve power. If it's wired then you don't. Presumably some of the test units are wired, and the final will be wireless. If it's small enough you can pass it; the idea is to replace the camera pill with something that is both faster-moving and able to stop.
- Re:So Mr. Worm (Score:2)
  
  by fireman sam (662213)
  
  Concentrate... And think warm thoughts
When wormbots go bad... (Score:5, Funny)

by ozbird (127571) on Tuesday June 06 2006, @06:47PM (#15484104)

Obligatory photo [ananova.com].
just had a thought (Score:3, Interesting)

by friedman101 (618627) on Tuesday June 06 2006, @07:01PM (#15484160)

I can't wait to see an ass-wormer going through an MRI, it'll be like when they pulled that bug out of Neo's stomach.
Even better than the real thing? (Score:2)

by StikyPad (445176)

[F]rom the look of the videos these things are too scary to ever be allowed into hospitals.

Yeah, cause robot worms are way scarier than these things [fda.gov].
I found this even more interesting (Score:3, Interesting)

by mikesd81 (518581) <mikesd1 AT verizon DOT net> on Tuesday June 06 2006, @07:08PM (#15484200) Homepage

From the same site [newscientisttech.com]. This little robot can make roaches come out in the light where you can better kill em.
Oh, I'll be safe! (Score:5, Funny)

by JumpingBull (551722) on Tuesday June 06 2006, @07:14PM (#15484228)

...crawl through your intestines made by European researchers.

Gee, I don't have intestines made by European researchers.
Just the standard issue ones. Not even suitable for use in making Garters.
Cheers!
Boon for diagnostics (Score:5, Informative)

by Somnus (46089) on Tuesday June 06 2006, @07:17PM (#15484247)

Right now scopes can't go into the small intenstines -- this would fill a significant gap in present diagnostic capability. Currently, wireless imaging capsules are used.
How much did that thing cost? (Score:5, Funny)

by ChePibe (882378) on Tuesday June 06 2006, @07:20PM (#15484260)

This robot must have cost millions to develop...

I can just go to Taco Bell, and for $3.49, I can get that same lovely sensation of something crawling around my intestines and making life uncomfortable...

As a side note, the header "interesting crevice" is rarely followed by something I want to read about...
Getting people to go for it... (Score:3, Funny)

by DoofusOfDeath (636671) on Tuesday June 06 2006, @07:21PM (#15484264)

Maybe if they'd just paint it to look like a hampster, a lightbulb, or an artillery shell patients wouldn't balk to much :)

(I'd find the links, but I'm at work right now and I do *not* want that showing up in our web logs ;)
Wombat? (Score:2, Funny)

by MP3Chuck (652277)

Heh ... please tell me I wasn't the only one to read " Wombat [wikipedia.org] Crawls Through Your Intestines."
Oh, good--it has little hooks. (Score:3, Funny)

by smackdotcom (136408) on Tuesday June 06 2006, @07:23PM (#15484273)

Cause otherwise it would be no fun. Seriously, did you look at the video of the one in the guys hand? Little fish hook legs. I don't care what medical explanation can be provided as to why that wouldn't hurt or harm me: Unless you've gotten me drunker that Homer's post-lottery-win tour through the Duff brewery, NFW.
Yes but.... (Score:2, Funny)

by Frightening (976489)

what happens in the unfortunate (and untimely) event of a fart(known as flatulence)? Can this thing take a storm?
Enough is enough (Score:5, Funny)

by I Like Pudding (323363) on Tuesday June 06 2006, @07:29PM (#15484295) Journal

I'm really sick of all these Jack Thompson stories all the time
"oh jezus christ" (Score:3, Funny)

by witte (681163) on Tuesday June 06 2006, @07:34PM (#15484313)

I'm kind of surprised they didn't call it the lemmiwinks bot.
Got funding? (Score:2, Funny)

by Shabazz Rabbinowitz (103670)

1. If they need funding, market it as a sex toy and take pre-orders.

2. Robotic breast exams: what geek thought it was a good idea to reduce breasticle touching?

3. I don't have a third thing.
Just as long as ... (Score:2)

by whitehatlurker (867714)

I think I can handle the appearance of the worm-bot. I just don't want someone like Jonathan Coulton [jonathancoulton.com] writing a song about it. Those d*mn things get stuck in my head and I really would not appreciate that.
What's the point? (Score:2)

by Deadstick (535032)

As TFA says, there are already "camera pills" you can swallow, but they don't gain you much. The drugs you get for a colonoscopy make it a non-event...the hard part is the 24 hours of purging that leads up to it, and you'll still have to do that with the camera pill. I expect the same would apply to the bot.

Also, if the doctor finds a polyp with a colonoscope he can whack it out on the spot; if the pill/bot finds one, you may have to do the purge all over again.

rj
- Re:I would've thought... (Score:5, Funny)
  
  by $RANDOMLUSER (804576) on Tuesday June 06 2006, @06:39PM (#15484054)
  
  > That this would be something the japanese would invent.
  You misspelled "eat".
  
  Parent
- Re:Yes, but... (Score:2)
  
  by $RANDOMLUSER (804576)
  
  No, but Raquel Welch is onboard.
- Re:Wormbot Crawls Through Your Intestines (Score:2)
  
  by thc69 (98798)
  
  I can't identify an appropriate expansion of "FPA" on acronymfinder...but I agree -- I read it as "wombat" too.

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Wormbot Crawls Through Your Intestines

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obligatory (Score:5, Funny)

Re:obligatory (Score:3, Funny)

Re:obligatory (Score:2)

Re:obligatory (Score:2)

Good News Everyone ! (Score:3, Funny)

intestine crawling robots. (Score:4, Funny)

Re:intestine crawling robots. (Score:3, Funny)

Re:intestine crawling robots. (Score:3, Insightful)

Doctor: (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Doctor: (Score:3, Funny)

can't wait (Score:2, Funny)

It gets worse (Score:5, Funny)

Re:It gets worse (Score:3, Funny)

Reminds Me Of The "Woodchuck" Rhyme (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Reminds Me Of The "Woodchuck" Rhyme (Score:2)

Uuuh... (Score:5, Insightful)

Why a robot? (Score:2, Insightful)

Look, maybe you kids should read the article... (Score:5, Informative)

from having read the article (Score:3, Funny)

Easy test subject (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Easy test subject (Score:3)

Meanwhile, Japanese Scientists... (Score:2, Funny)

"Jesus, you mean that thing's real?" (Score:5, Funny)

Re:"Jesus, you mean that thing's real?" (Score:2)

Bedside Manner. (Score:3, Funny)

Yuck! (Score:4, Funny)

So Mr. Worm (Score:2, Insightful)

Re:So Mr. Worm (Score:2)

Re:So Mr. Worm (Score:2)

Re:So Mr. Worm (Score:2)

Re:So Mr. Worm (Score:2)

When wormbots go bad... (Score:5, Funny)

just had a thought (Score:3, Interesting)

Even better than the real thing? (Score:2)

I found this even more interesting (Score:3, Interesting)

Oh, I'll be safe! (Score:5, Funny)

Boon for diagnostics (Score:5, Informative)

How much did that thing cost? (Score:5, Funny)

Getting people to go for it... (Score:3, Funny)

Wombat? (Score:2, Funny)

Oh, good--it has little hooks. (Score:3, Funny)

Yes but.... (Score:2, Funny)

Enough is enough (Score:5, Funny)

"oh jezus christ" (Score:3, Funny)

Got funding? (Score:2, Funny)

Just as long as ... (Score:2)

What's the point? (Score:2)

Re:I would've thought... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Yes, but... (Score:2)

Re:Wormbot Crawls Through Your Intestines (Score:2)

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